"Eh?"
"Remember I b.u.mped it when I opened the door and "
Fitz rolled his eyes at Anji. "G.o.d, Doctor, that was ages ago! That was in another life!"
"In another universe," Anji agreed.
The Doctor looked surprised. Then a slow smile spread over his face. "But a permanent record remains..." He clapped Fitz on the back. "That film of yours. Shall we arrange the premiere?"
"This is insulting," Fitz grumbled, as the Doctor fiddled with wires and connectors he"d attached to his little camcorder; Anji had transferred the partly edited footage of These Islands Earth These Islands Earth to one of the d.i.n.ky little tapes ready for showing. "I was planning a huge celebrity launch at the Odeon in Leicester Square... glitz and champagne... all the press turning out... and what opening does my magnum opus receive instead?" He sighed. "A diversion for a bunch of apes." to one of the d.i.n.ky little tapes ready for showing. "I was planning a huge celebrity launch at the Odeon in Leicester Square... glitz and champagne... all the press turning out... and what opening does my magnum opus receive instead?" He sighed. "A diversion for a bunch of apes."
"Still an audience," argued Anji. "Just their monkey suits are a little closer to the real thing."
"Ha, ha." He noticed the Doctor was looking transfixed at the little movie screen built into the camcorder. "Pretty good stuff, isn"t it?"
"I wonder what happened to Trix," he said, his voice distant and grave.
"I get the feeling she can take care of herself," said Anji. "But Guy..."
"We"ll find them," the Doctor told them.
"But in how many pieces?" said Fitz darkly.
The Doctor was glued to the little screen. "All those dead worlds and dead futures," he muttered. "Now there"s just one, only one. Let"s do our best for it, shall we?" The Doctor flicked a couple of switches on the console. "I"m going to try to land inside the Jonah Jonah."
"What happened to stealth?" complained Fitz. "The noise the TARDIS makes, the apes in London Zoo will hear us coming."
"Good," announced the Doctor.
Fitz had his back pressed up hard against the gleaming wall of the side-corridor. Large round rivets pressed into his spine and his whole body shook with the huge, whooshing heart-beat rhythm of the Jonah Jonah"s arcane engines.
Sabbath"s apes heard the commotion of the TARDIS"s arrival in the hold just as Fitz had predicted. Three of the ma.s.sive, uniformed creatures had come shambling to investigate, grunting and chattering and baring their teeth in warning yawns. While they were scary b.u.g.g.e.rs and no mistake, there was also something a touch sad about the creatures so out of place in the dull l.u.s.tre of the metalled pa.s.sageways...
They reached the hold. The two gorillas charged in, beating their fists against their chests like they"d spotted Tarzan inside, while the third ape, which looked like an orang-utan, barred the doorway by spreading both arms wide out. A thick canopy of reddish-brown arm hair hung down from a long slit in his sleeves, like the beast was wearing a furry cape beneath its jacket.
Fitz held his breath as tightly as the gun in his hand. It was loaded with tranquilliser darts, but the Doctor had said not to use them until it was absolutely necessary he didn"t know how long the apes would stay knocked out for and he needed as much time as possible to get a handle on Sabbath"s plans. But would the little camcorder attract their attention? Wouldn"t they just smash it and go back to searching the Jonah Jonah?
He wished the Doctor had been able to find more than three darts.
The gorillas weren"t happy. They could hear a tinny voice blaring out but couldn"t work out the source. With a nervous hoot one silverback pointed to up on the TARDIS"s roof. The other swiped the camcorder to the floor. Well spotted, thought Fitz, the gun metal slippery in his fist.
But the film kept playing. "Ha! Ha! Ha!" Trix where the h.e.l.l was she? was doing her Sabbath impersonation now. "Working as I am for unspecified higher powers, the nature of my misguided plans remains frustratingly obscure, ha ha!"
The impression was better than he remembered. The apes seemed to recognise it, anyway; they backed away from the noisy little machine warily.
"The universe can take a few lumps! My masters want a single universe none of this "a-new-universe-is-born-every-time-adecision-is-made" rubbish..."
The orang-utan dropped its arms from blocking the doorway and took a couple of fascinated steps towards the camcorder.
"The preview audience were engrossed, and truly impressed by the depth and insight Kreiner brought to his work," breathed Fitz, keeping the gun trained on the orang-utan and praying none of them looked his way.
Anji followed the Doctor along the cramped pa.s.sageways of Sabbath"s ship. She wondered if Jules Verne had ever seen the Jonah Jonah and ripped it off for his and ripped it off for his Nautilus Nautilus. The claustrophobic narrowness of the corridors, the dim lighting, the steamy hissings of the internal workings all aided the illusion that they were easily twenty-thousand leagues under the sea, not just beneath the surface of a lazy river outside Greater London.
The Doctor stopped abruptly, peered through a circular window set into one studded door. "Look here."
"Get out of the way then," Anji hissed. He obliged and she saw through the thick gla.s.s what looked like a giant cigar tube, grey and l.u.s.treless. "What is it? A missile?"
"Let"s have a look."
He spun a spiked bra.s.s wheel set into a neighbouring wall panel. There was a hiss of compressed air and the door jumped open with a dull clang. Anji looked round anxiously, convinced that a party of apes would come bounding towards them at any moment. But nothing came looking.
As Anji took a cautious step inside, she felt suddenly faint. A crack seemed to go up her spine, and her vision darkened. She was about to cry out when the feeling pa.s.sed.
"What was that?" she said nervously. "b.o.o.by trap?"
The Doctor had clearly felt it too. "I"m not sure."
There was a ringing silence in Anji"s ears. She realised that the weird rumbling echoes of the ship systems had stopped. "What"s happened?"
"Remember we detected a portion of the Jonah Jonah being held in temporal stasis?" He gestured round the small chamber that housed the capsule. There was barely room either side for a single person to examine it. "Here we are. Caught up in a pocket dimension dislocated from the real world outside." being held in temporal stasis?" He gestured round the small chamber that housed the capsule. There was barely room either side for a single person to examine it. "Here we are. Caught up in a pocket dimension dislocated from the real world outside."
"Can we get back out as easily as we came in?"
"Oh, I would think so. Whatever"s in this capsule, I"m sure Sabbath will wish to use it in the real world."
"It"s man-sized," Anji observed.
The Doctor tapped his knuckle against it. "Dwarf star alloy," he decided. "Unbelievably heavy. I suppose that storing it in hypers.p.a.ce obviates the weight problems a vessel like the Jonah Jonah would experience trying to ferry it about. And of course, keeps the contents entirely stable, mindless of whatever"s happening in the wider world." would experience trying to ferry it about. And of course, keeps the contents entirely stable, mindless of whatever"s happening in the wider world."
"How did this tube get in here if it"s so heavy?"
"Matter transporter?" The Doctor was looking now at a small console mounted on a wheeled platform at the far end of the room. The main panel bristled irresistibly with controls, and before Anji could protest the Doctor had tweaked a couple.
There was a deep clang of metal and the smooth bra.s.s wall behind the console split suddenly down the middle and sprang apart a few inches. The two segments contracted until they had vanished entirely, and Anji found she was viewing what she imagined the crash room at Holby City might"ve looked like if designed by M.C. Escher.
At first glance it was simply a large, white-tiled room, but so gleaming bright your eye was drawn straight back for a second look. The dimensions of the theatre were somehow wrong, corners pinched and extruded, improbable machines dotted about in impossible alcoves. And two huge crystalline boxes of light floated in the right-hand s.p.a.ce of the bizarre room.
Guy was held helpless in one, old-lady-Trix in another, mouths moving in silence, staring around blindly at their surroundings.
"h.e.l.lo! I"m the Doctor, a man of mercurial moods and wanderer in the fourth dimension of s.p.a.ce and time!"
This particular weapon in Trix"s a.r.s.enal of impressions was clearly too much for the apes to stand. The orang-utan screeched and hand-swiped the camcorder into a far corner of the hold, whereupon it delivered an echoing clang of protest.
As the echoes faded into silence Fitz realised that the little machine was kaput.
"Tragically, projector difficulties brought an untimely end to the screening," muttered Fitz as his finger curled round the slick trigger of the gun.
The apes stood motionless, staring after the camcorder, jaws gaping open as if daring it to start up again.
Then, satisfied any danger had pa.s.sed, they turned.
And saw Fitz, pressed pancake-flat against the wall of the narrow access corridor, gripping his gun.
The orang-utan roared, its throat pouch billowing, and went for him. Fitz fired the gun. A little arrow shot into the beast"s shoulder, and with a shriek of surprise, the orang-utan jumped backwards, knocking into the two gorillas.
Fitz Kreiner, big game hunter, had bagged his first trophy. But there was no time to enjoy his victory. Taking careful aim he fired again, at the biggest of the two silverbacks.
The dart pranged off the steel wall and bounced uselessly into the hold.
With an angry bark the intended target dragged its partner aside so that it might reach Fitz first.
Deciding there was still less time to lament his failure, Fitz ran for it.
The corridors were so narrow the apes could only pursue him in single file. Their footfalls rocked and pounded at the metal floors. Fitz glanced behind him to check their distance way too close and so failed to see the steel ladder built close to the wall ahead of him. He caught his foot and was sent sprawling. The gun was jarred from his grip and clattered down the corridor. He turned himself on to his back.
The gorilla he"d shot at now skidded to a heavy halt. Its beady eyes were fixed on him in an evil stare; its mouth was open and drooling. Behind it stood its mate, ma.s.sive head swinging from side to side as it tried to get a clear look at the dead meat blocking its master"s corridor.
The first ape broke into a lumbering charge.
Then the Jonah Jonah rocked and shook, and a deep vibration started up. Fitz"s teeth fair rattled in his skull. The first gorilla stalled its charge, stared round wildly, barking in alarm. The other clutched its huge head, wide nostrils flaring, mouth wide open baring its terrifying fangs. rocked and shook, and a deep vibration started up. Fitz"s teeth fair rattled in his skull. The first gorilla stalled its charge, stared round wildly, barking in alarm. The other clutched its huge head, wide nostrils flaring, mouth wide open baring its terrifying fangs.
While the beasts panicked, Fitz pushed himself backwards with his feet, grabbed his gun with shaking hands. He slid out of sight as the vibration began to subside and as a reverberating clang shook around the Jonah Jonah.
Something was coming inside.
Anji tore her tortured gaze away from Guy and Trix to face the Doctor. "How do we get them out of there?"
"The same way they were brought here," he murmured, but the small spark of hope that allowed her was swiftly snuffed out. "If only I knew what it was."
Suddenly the bright room became almost blinding. A square blur of light dazzled Anji, and behind it a craggy anthill form began to shift into clear focus.
Her jaw dropped open. In a new cell, hovering beside Guy"s and twinkling with rainbow light, was the biggest pile of diamonds Anji had ever seen.
"Where"d that come from?"
"Matter transmitter," said the Doctor, "as I thought." He was beaming at the bank of controls as if they were more alluring than the gemstones. "There"s a slave relay in operation. This must work in tandem with a twin-console located presumably somewhere nearby."
"Closer than you think, Doctor."
Sabbath had entered the room behind them. He looked livid. And crowding in the doorway were two apes.
Fitz stood in the shadows outside an impressively large hatchway he suspected led into the Jonah Jonah"s flight deck. He"d soon realised the clanging sound had been the opening of the hatchway leading to the surface. Sabbath had come stamping down and spoken harshly to his cringing apes; he had a right cob on, accusing them of mismanaging the controls and causing interference. There was silence for a while could the apes use sign language or something? and then he"d led them away into the guts of the ship. Fitz"s own guts were churning with the closeness of his simian call.
What to do now? He"d lost Trix and Guy, he didn"t want the Doctor and Anji to go the same way. But equally he knew Sabbath couldn"t fail to see the TARDIS in the hold as he walked by. He would know the Doctor was loose on his ship, and Fitz would doubtless have to launch a one-man rescue mission.
Fab.
One thing was for sure: he"d need more of an a.r.s.enal than this crumby dart gun. He remembered the gun Guy had left in the MG when he"d gone out and done his trance number on Sabbath and friends. If he could retrieve that he"d pose a more credible threat to man and ape alike.
Fitz nipped back down the pa.s.sage then, legs and arms trembling, he scaled the conning ladder. He wrestled with the steam-powered mechanism that unlocked the hatch, praying that the Jonah Jonah hadn"t descended far beneath the surface without him realising. Finally, up it swung. hadn"t descended far beneath the surface without him realising. Finally, up it swung.
He popped his head up and frowned. He was not outside. And the Jonah Jonah was not in the drink. Perhaps he was dreaming. was not in the drink. Perhaps he was dreaming.
The craft was filling most of a large bare room; all it needed were a few ropes to keep out stray punters and it could"ve been an exhibit in a particularly demented museum. Daylight poured into the room through three large, circular windows set in one wall.
And there, covered in a thick, glowing wire mesh, was a mish-mash of limbs and long faces. Once his eyes had performed some minor acrobatics Fitz worked out he was looking at some right miserable-looking geezer, a little blonde-haired girl and her pet mongrel: Erasmus, Chloe and Jamais the wonder-hound, all trussed up together.
He carefully climbed down some slippery wet rungs set into the side of the craft. "Who did this to you?" The question was aimed at Erasmus, but the big man"s mouth stayed shut tighter than a camel"s backside in a sandstorm.
"Sabbath," said Chloe. "He forced Erasmus to materialise our ship around the Jonah Jonah, then trapped him in here with us."
"This is a ship?"
"But something went wrong."
"I felt it," said Fitz with conviction, descending the last few algaed rungs.
"Our home won"t move. It"s been broken by something in there." Chloe pointed at the Jonah Jonah. "Sabbath"s gone to find out what"s wrong. And I think you"d better hide. Kalic.u.m"s transported the diamonds he needs. He"ll be "
There came the sound of a man"s voice, clipped and terse, followed by the click of a door shutting, close by.
" back?" concluded Fitz, as he jumped over Chloe"s head and crouched in a tight ball behind them. He watched as a skinny bloke with a big bonce minced inside wheeling along some weird control panel like it was a hostess trolley. He abandoned it beside the Jonah Jonah and scaled the wet rungs with obvious distaste. And when he reached the top he produced some kind of cool-looking ray gun. Expecting trouble, or out to cause some of his own. and scaled the wet rungs with obvious distaste. And when he reached the top he produced some kind of cool-looking ray gun. Expecting trouble, or out to cause some of his own.
"That"s Sabbath"s mate, is it?" hissed Fitz.
Chloe shook her head. "I don"t think he"s friends with anyone. But " She breathed in sharply. "Oh no."
Fitz rubbed his eyes, they seemed oddly blurry. "What"s up?"
"The wraiths," she muttered, and started shaking the dark bulk of her dog. "Jamais! You must wake up!" The dog"s ear was pressed down flat to his head, so Chloe pulled it up and spoke into it. "The wraiths are here!"
Fitz found his misted vision seemed to clear so long as he stared only at the tranquilliser gun. Why should that be?
"They want to kill us," said Chloe. "We"re all in danger!"
Fitz found he was raising the gun, found the mists were parting around the sleeping animal. He found he could see every hair on Jamais"s head, every fleck of grey in his muzzle.