If you expect company, have every thing prepared, that can be done with safety, the day previous. In summer there are but few things that can be done without risk of spoiling: a ham or tongue may he washed ready to boil; castors and salt-stands put in order, and pastry or dessert prepared, that will not spoil by being kept a day.
In winter, many things can be kept for days in a state of preparation for cooking; and it greatly a.s.sists the work of the family, to have every thing done beforehand.
Do with as few domestics as possible; a.s.sist with the work yourself, rather than keep one too many. Those that take orphan children to bring up, are often rewarded for their trouble; as sometimes a girl of fifteen will be more useful than one much older: and where a family is small it does very well, but in large families, a little girl is so often called from her work, that it has a tendency to unsettle and make her careless.
Never allow your children to call on or interrupt servants when at their work or meals, to do any thing which a child could do for itself; children that treat domestics with respect, will generally find them willing to render any a.s.sistance in their power. I have known a few housekeepers, who have kept the same servants for years, who have a.s.sisted in rearing the children, until they almost viewed them as their own, and these were not faultless. If they had been discharged for trifles, they might have wandered, from one family to another, without being attached to any, until they became so indifferent, as not to be worthy of employ, but by the kindness and patience of their employer, they became so grateful and attached, as to be a treasure to her family.
When they become weary of such constant servitude, would it not be better, instead of discharging, to give them time for rest and recreation in visiting their friends? I have known them to return, renewed in health and spirits.
Encourage them to lay by as much of their wages as they can possibly spare, in such inst.i.tutions as are thought the most safe, that they may have something to look to in case of sickness, or any event which would require its use.
Promote their reading in such books as are suited to their capacities; they sometimes have a little leisure, that could be well filled up in this way. I have found it to increase the happiness of those under my care, to encourage a fondness for reading, and improving their minds; it tends to keep them from unprofitable company, and too much visiting, to which so many are addicted.
Young girls should make and mend their own clothes, and keep them in good order, and they should be taught to knit. The material of which stockings are composed costs but little, and they wear much better than those that are bought. Knitting fills up leisure moments, and promotes industrious habits; and when age comes on, they will have a resource, although it appears so simple, yet if it is not learned while young it is hard to acquire when old.
When servants are guilty of faults that cannot be looked over, instead of publicly reproving them, take an opportunity when alone, and talk coolly; tell them of your sorrow at being obliged to notice their conduct, encourage them to pursue a different course, and that you will forgive them if they will strive to do better. I have known them much improved by this mode of treatment.
By inspecting every department, not only will waste be prevented, but dishonesty. In cities many persons find it necessary to lock up nearly every thing; and it is a lamentable state of things that so few are to be trusted.
Sometimes treating servants with confidence will have a good effect; but let them be aware that you have a knowledge of every thing that is going on.
Some young persons are completely at the mercy of their domestics. I have known great uneasiness to be experienced, and much loss; but by showing a little moral courage, and discharging those that are irreclaimable, an ascendancy was gained. Never suffer them to treat you with disrespect or impertinence. If it is known that they will be discharged for these faults, they will be on their guard.
If you have taken a boy or girl, to bring up as a domestic, endeavour to teach them, at least to spell and read; they are sometimes very fond of their books, and if you once get them to reading, it will become to them a favorite evening amus.e.m.e.nt; I have known them take up their books on every occasion of leisure, I have seen boys that worked hard through the day, spend all the evening with their books, slate, and occasionally a little writing. Sometimes, I have in the evening felt fatigued and listless, and would much rather read, and amuse myself, than go out to teach two or three in the kitchen; but in attending to this, (which I consider a duty,) have felt a sweet reward--indeed, their grateful thanks expressed by words, have encouraged me to keep on. I have thought a little instruction in this way, arouses their faculties, and tends to make them more industrious. When I have been prevented from teaching them for some time, by indisposition, or other causes, I have observed they were not so cheerful in the performance of their work. If they are reading any thing they do not fully understand, take a little time to explain it to them. It will be, my young friends, like sowing the good seed, and you, as well as they, will receive the reward.
I wish to encourage you in the most affectionate manner to attend to _this_ duty; you will find it will strengthen you in the performance of others. "The more we exert our faculties, the more we can accomplish.
He that does nothing, renders himself incapable of doing any thing.
While we are executing one work, we are preparing ourselves to undertake another."
REMARKS.
Remarks on Carving, &c.
I do not think it necessary to say much on the subject of carving, as those who are accustomed to sit at a well ordered table, and who observe the manner of the host and hostess, can soon acquire the art, both of carving and helping with ease. And when placed at the head of their own table, the knowledge thus gained will be found a great a.s.sistance.
The proper time for children to acquire good habits at meals, is not when there is company; it should be an every day lesson. As when parents are engaged with their friends or guests, they have no time to devote to the manners of their children, and to reprove them at table is very unpleasant, as well as mortifying.
Young children will soon acquire the manner of sitting quietly till they are helped, if they are made to understand that they will not be permitted to eat with their parents and friends, unless they behave with propriety.
I have thought it a great a.s.sistance to the good order of a large family, for every member to be punctual in their attendance at meals, and all to sit down together, with a short pause before the carving and helping commences. In those moments of quiet, the heart is sometimes awakened to a feeling of grat.i.tude to the Almighty dispenser of our blessings.
At the table, different members of the family meet; and where affection and kindness, those aids to true politeness, preside, it is truly a delightful treat to be the guest of such a family.
Every symptom of selfishness should be discouraged, for if suffered to take root in a child, it lays the foundation of much that is disagreeable to themselves and others.
Inculcate this excellent rule, "of doing unto others, what you wish others to do unto you," and always preferring others to yourself.
It is the custom in some well regulated families, to permit the younger members, (as they arrive at a suitable age,) to take turns in presiding, not only at breakfast and tea, but at the dinner table. I have known quite young girls that had been taught in this way, carve a fowl or joint of meat with ease and grace. In helping, they should be taught not to over-load the plate, as it takes away the appet.i.te of some persons to be helped too largely.
The gravy should be stirred so that all may be helped alike, and a small quant.i.ty put on the meat or fowl, to which it belongs, and not on vegetables unless it is particularly desired.
If there should be a rare dish on the table, it is best to hand it round and let every one help himself, after it has been nicely cut up. Ham is much nicer to be cut in very thin slices. So is salt beef and tongue.
Young housekeepers in selecting their dishes for dinner, (if they have not an experienced cook,) should avoid those that are difficult to prepare. Never try a new dish when you expect company. Your guests will be more gratified with a neat and moderate table, with a few plain and well cooked dishes, accompanied with the smiling countenance of the hostess, than with a great variety of ill cooked and badly arranged viands.
Economy the Source of Charity.
If your circ.u.mstances will not admit of giving away much, you can, by economy, give a little, and a blessing will attend it. There are few of the very poor, that know how to repair old clothing to advantage; a garment will be of much more service, that is well mended before it is given to them.
It has been remarked, that the poor are ungrateful, and forget the favors conferred upon them.
I have seldom found them deficient in this respect; and when they are, if we would reflect, that if some of us received no more than we deserve, we should be but poorly off.
We know in our own families, how acceptable is a nice present of something that a sick member can eat; and it is sometimes the means of restoring the appet.i.te, when any thing cooked in the house is rejected.
The feeling of love with which it is presented, is as a cordial to a sick person.
How much more acceptable will something nourishing be to one oppressed with poverty, as well as sickness.
When the rich are diseased, the physician often finds it necessary to enjoin strict abstinence; but very different is it with the poor, who frequently suffer for want of nourishment.
When the mother of a poor family is ill, how greatly are her sufferings augmented by the knowledge that her children are deprived of her services; and how acceptable to such a family would be a loaf of bread, or a large bowl of soup, which could be made of materials that would hardly be missed.
Dried beans or peas, and onions, are a cheap and valuable addition to soup; also cold vegetables. The liquor that fresh meat is boiled in, should be carefully saved for that purpose, if there are those near you that need it.
It may seem at first troublesome to a young housekeeper, to take the necessary care to save for the poor. It is certainly much easier to let the cook have her own way, and waste or not, as she pleases; but for your encouragement my young friends, permit me to say, you will be sweetly rewarded for your attention to them.
One eminent for his charities, near the close of life, made this remark: "What I spent I lost, but what I gave away remains with me."
To Encourage Children in Acts of Kindness to the Aged and Afflicted.
Young children may early be taught to administer to the wants of the aged and infirm.
Some mothers are in the practice of giving a small sum of money to their children, as a reward for some little service or piece of work that they have done. The money thus obtained, to be laid out for a sick or old poor person. This method has an excellent effect on the minds of children; it incites them to industry, teaches self-denial, and the feelings of love and charity which are thus early instilled into their tender minds, make a lasting impression.
If they spent their little fund in trifles for their own use, they would acquire a habit of selfishness; which, when once formed, it is most difficult to eradicate. I have remarked the pleasure with which children will relate the incidents of a visit, which they have been permitted to make to a poor family; and it is a refreshment to persons advanced in life, to see a young family thus trained.
As soon as little girls can sew, they should be encouraged to make garments for the poor, or repair their own old ones as a present to a child of their own size, or make patchwork out of old dresses for a bed covering for poor people. Their being permitted to do these things, should be as a reward for good behavior and attention to their lessons or other duties.
When they are old enough to make a loaf of bread, a pie, or a little plain cake, allow them to do it, and take as a present to, or make broth or panada for a sick person. This teaches them to prepare these things while young, and may be useful to them in after life.
How cheering it must be to the aged or afflicted, to see smiling young faces enter their dwellings, bearing their little offerings of food or clothing, the work of their own hands.
Be encouraged my dear young mothers; if you thus train your children to works of charity, you will be doubly blessed.