Don’t be So Proud

Bang! Someone’s foot basin was knocked over. Splash! In an instant, foot wash water flowed from the very left side of dorm room 921 to the very right side. Water had soon pooled at Lin Yu Tang, Monkey, and Brawny’s feet. Beside Lin Yu Tang’s feet, there were even two beautiful, glistening rose petals.

That’s right. The essential oil Shen Xi bought was a rose essential oil. Seeing that she was so handsome, the female shop owner had thrown in a bag of dried rose petals for free.

This sudden little incident threw the dorm room into a momentary state of chaos. Following Shen Xi’s repeated cries of “I’m sorry,” Monkey voluntarily went and grabbed a broom and dustpan while Brawny very quickly picked up a mop. For some reason, of late, they really, especially liked doing little tasks for Leader. Maybe it was because they would receive a look from Leader filled with grat.i.tude and cuteness. Without even being aware of it, they had been tamed into submissive little lambs.

Lin Yu Tang did not feel right simply standing and not doing anything, so he stepped out onto the balcony. To help his “love rival” mop up his foot wash water? He could not make himself do it!

Shen Xi sincerely felt apologetic, and shuffling around with her slippers, she swept and mopped the floor together with Monkey and Brawny. In less than five minutes, the floor was as bright and clean as a mirror. Due to the rose essential oil that had been in the foot soaking water, the entire surface of the floor was emitting a faintly-discernible fragrance.

“Smells so nice!” Brawny took a deep breath, holding the mop as he gave a sigh.

At that moment, Shen Xi was a little unsteady on her feet and ended up leaning forward slightly.

Lin Yu Tang had just stepped back in from the balcony when Brawny  gave another artsy round of sighs. “Probably, in the entire world, only Leader’s foot-soaking water is sweet-smelling.”

Lin Yu Tang unexpectedly ended up disgusted by this scene to the point that he nearly vomited up his dinner from the previous night.

At night, the four of them, one after the other, climbed onto their beds to sleep. Monkey was the last to turn off his lights. With the lights off, in that male dormitory room where it was so dark they could not even see the fingers of their own outstretched hands, the “bedroom conference” began. Brawny was the first to speak, the content of his words all revolving around the major event of tonight.

“What in the world is that s.e.m.e.n health testing about? Monkey, tell us again carefully. I’m still not real clear on it.”

Shen Xi, who was lying flat on her bed, also chimed in, “I’m not clear, either. Monkey, tell us a bit more. And also, what are you all going to do about it? You’re all okay with it?”

“For the time being, I’m still okay.” Brawny said, “Just treat it like a physical check-up. And it’s free, too.”

Shen Xi: “……”

Monkey cleared his throat and began to speak. Hurriedly, Shen Xi p.r.i.c.ked up her ears and listened carefully. She needed to remember all of it and then tell He Zhi Zhou tomorrow.

The exact situation was this. This s.e.m.e.n health random testing event was something organized by S University’s affiliated medical school, but the data collected would be submitted to the science and technology research inst.i.tute that worked directly under the National Population and Family Planning Commission. Therefore, the standards would directly reference the World Health Organization’s data.

“What about the test subjects?” Lin Yu Tang spoke up to ask, “Were the subjects of the testing taken from the entire university or just our faculty?”

Monkey felt a little guilty. “Only ten male dorm rooms were chosen. Forty people. We were lucky enough to be selected…”

“Dammit!” Brawny was annoyed again. “And just why were we the ones selected?”

Monkey was shamefaced as he dully explained, “I asked the counselor the same thing. The counselor said that some time ago, some other schools’ male students had already went through this sort of spot testing. The result was that the quality was tested to only be average and not high at all! Now it’s our school’s turn. The university has directly selected the best quality testing subjects. The forty of us who were selected definitely were not chosen by chance, but rather, we are representing strength and quality. Also, the university hopes that, over the next couple of days, we pay careful attention to our rest to try to achieve a high quality result from every one of us. For one thing, it will bring some honour to our school, but for another thing, it sets a benchmark for all the male university students in the entire country.”

Monkey nearly conveyed verbatim what the counselor had said to persuade him.

Selected the best quality… Set a benchmark…

In a few words, this health spot-testing had immediately become so great and important. Those average n.o.bodys did not even get a chance to covet after this opportunity. After accepting this flattery that had been laid on, Brawny exhaled a light breath. “Is that really what this is about?”

“Of course. Otherwise why would I agree to it? I’ve even signed the guarantee form already. The counselor said this whole thing represents the glory and honour of our entire university. And plus, let me tell you guys, Counselor Liao will try to fight for some benefits from this for us and give each of us two credits towards our student quality development training.”

That was just ridiculous! Who used something like this to give credits to student quality training? And two whole credits! Shen Xi could not listen to this anymore. Back when she had donated blood, she had only gotten 0.3 credits.

“This is selling your kids for glory!” Shen Xi’s tone was serious. She needed to stop these crazy people.

“Is it?” Monkey asked meekly.

“Of course! How can you guys be so loose?!” Shen Xi carried on speaking, her voice resounding and forceful, hoping to draw up feelings of resistance in the entire dorm room. “For something like this that has no integrity, we must persist and resist it, my comrades!”

Selling kids for glory… Loose…

The entire dormitory room slowly fell into silence. After a while, peals of laughter broke out. Even Lin Yu Tang in the bunk below could not help letting out a light laugh before determinedly holding the rest in.

Brawny rolled over. “No big deal about selling my kids. I have tons of kids anyway.”

“Shameless!” Monkey rebuked him.

“No conscience!” Shen Xi also added her rebuke.

“Actually…” Brawny, in fact, had another worry, and he now stated it out. “Even if the results from the guys in other schools were a little unideal, our faculty can’t, because of this, just shove us into the very front of the storm! Yeah, the four of us are just a teeny bit outstanding, but still, how can they make us represent the standard for all the men in the country? This is basically falsifying things!”

Throwing her support behind Brawny, Shen Xi said, “Yah! We must be firm and not go!”

Monkey also felt that this argument did make a little bit of sense.

Brawny went through another round of careful deliberation. With a couple of “hee-hees,” he continued, “Plus, I’m just saying, if… If, amongst us here, one of our results ends up being substandard, what will we do? For instance, Monkey, if you don’t meet standards, would it pain you so much that you’d rather die, and it would therefore affect your pride as a man?”

“Screw you! Your sister [a modern Chinese profanity that contains connotations of ‘screw your little sister’] won’t meet standards!” Monkey gave a kick at Brawny’s bed board.

Brawny nearly fell off his bed from the jolt. Still, he did not forget to be cheeky. “My sister of course won’t meet standards. What can she ‘pull out’ to try to meet the standards? Right, Third?”

“Go to h.e.l.l!” Lin Yu Tang threw out a cuss at Brawny.

When the discussion reached this point, despite feeling a little resentful, they did not intend on opposing the decision. After a little while, a faint voice sounded out. “Actually… I think we still shouldn’t treat this lightly…”

The remaining three in the dormitory room looked toward their leader who was sabotaging their planning and asked him, “… Leader, could it be that you think you’re not going to meet standards?”

“Screw that! How is that even possible for me?” Shen Xi hurriedly denied this. “Let’s not even talk about how good my quality is. Each one of my little tadpoles is lively and smart, playful and agile…” After saying this, she did not forget to pull her lips up in a smile to conceal the anxiety and uncertainty she was feeling inside.

Fine. Leader won that one. Brawny planned to relinquish the honours to the more worthy man.

When the bedroom conference came to an end, Shen Xi gave a tug and a swirl of her lightweight blanket, rolling herself so she was completely wrapped in it. Sob, sob. No one understood her sorrows…

Tomorrow, would He Zhi Zhou understand them?

Sob, sob…

He Zhi Zhou basically had not slept that night. The first half of the night, it was Xia Wei Ye talking on the phone. The second half of the night, it was Dou Dou grinding her teeth. He had managed to suffer through until four, five in the morning and had been planning on closing his eyes to get some rest when a text came into his phone. It was sent by Shen Xi. Another message of complete emotional breakdown: Sob sob sob sob sob sob sob… I have an issue of national-level type of severity to tell you tomorrow. I’ll come find you in the morning…

Issue of national-level of security—what kind of national-level severity issue could she have anyway? He Zhi Zhou, for the moment, decided to treat this as if he had not seen anything.

The next morning, He Zhi Zhou walked out from the bathroom after washing up. Xia Wei Ye had already gotten out of bed and was now sprawled on her desk, hiccoughing with sobs. The person standing beside her and comforting her was Chen Han.

Dou Dou winked at him, mouthing to him that Xia Wei Ye was crying because someone had stolen her “He Zhi Zhou.”

He Zhi Zhou calmly returned to his own seat and then began “following a certain someone’s orders” of applying some face serum daily. His expression was flat and his motions were stiff, as if he was applying a rust-proofing oil to a machine.

That was, except in the end, when his fingers accidentally brushed against the lips, and that soft, exquisite touch caused his heart to flutter.

On the other side, Xia Wei Ye had been crying and crying until, out of the blue, she lifted her head and bellowed, “Shen Xi, how can you be such a s.l.u.t. You obviously knew that I like He Zhi Zhou, and you deliberately tried to steal him from me, didn’t you?”

After finishing her shouting, she fell into another wave of crying, and there was another wave of consoling from Chen Han.

He Zhi Zhou did not even bother paying attention to her, and sitting down, he began to write out some plans on a paper.

Xia Wei Ye grew even more incensed, and there was another surge of continuous yelling.

Dou Dou was vexed with what she was watching and told Xia Wei Ye, “It’s not like A’Xi was the one who initiated everything and liked He Zhi Zhou. If He Zhi Zhou himself chooses to fall for A’Xi, what can our A’Xi even do about it? …”

This type of siding with one’s own friend, regardless of who was in the wrong was done a little too…

His face icy, He Zhi Zhou spoke up. “Xia Wei Ye, when you throw your temper tantrum, first figure out who the target should be. Based on what right, what position are you even getting angry? What’s your relationship with He Zhi Zhou?” Xia Wei Ye was huffing with rage and was about to say something when He Zhi Zhou beat her to it. He looked at her as she spoke. “I think, besides knowing your name, He Zhi Zhou does not have any sort of relationship with you. Does who he likes have anything to do with you directly?”

Xia Wei Ye had the words stuffed down her throat so that now she could not even utter anything. “… Don’t even think that he really likes you!”

He Zhi Zhou did not want to quarrel with a woman, especially since it was over such a childish topic. But that word, “s.l.u.t,” that Xia Wei Ye had used earlier had very much rubbed him the wrong way. One step at a time, he walked up by Xia Wei Ye and gave her a detailed glance over. “No, he does like me.”

“Based on what do you have the gall to say that?” Xia Wei Ye stood, so enraged she wanted to tear at her face.

He Zhi Zhou bent slightly at the waist. Two girl’s faces now appeared in the European style mirror at the head of Xia Wei Ye’s table, one belonging to Xia Wei Ye, one to “Shen Xi.” Ruthlessness and a temper were hidden within He Zhi Zhou’s eyes. “Based on what? Based on the fact that Shen Xi is prettier than you.”

Based on what?

Based on the fact that Shen Xi is prettier than you…

Bang! Xia Wei Ye slammed the mirror down, then once again threw herself on her table and sobbed.

“Wow—” Dou Dou suddenly began to shout, and dashing back in from the balcony, she cried, “A’Xi, He Zhi Zhou’s coming here and bringing you breakfast again!”

Xia Wei Ye threw her hands over her face, even more pained with woe that she could not control.

With calm, steady footsteps, He Zhi Zhou stepped out onto the balcony. Sure enough, he saw Shen Xi standing in the sports field, her hands holding a yogurt and bread. However, if he was not mistaken, there was something not quite right with Shen Xi today.

He Zhi Zhou turned and headed downstairs.

Standing, Xia Wei Ye angrily kicked away “Shen Xi’s” chair. Chen Han cautiously spoke up. “I feel that Shen Xi is really crossing the line lately. Who does things like her?”

Dou Dou had made a cup of rice cereal, and now she ate it while defending one of her own. “It’s obvious He Zhi Zhou is the one hounding our A’Xi, and what is wrong with that? If He Zhi Zhou was trying to woo you, would you not accept it?”

Chen Han ignored the question that Dou Dou had thrown back. In her mind, she thought, if He Zhi Zhou really tried to woo her, she would not be so audacious about flaunting that fact. For a man such as He Zhi Zhou, how long could his fondness for you last?

Xia Wei Ye was still throwing a tantrum, and glancing at her, Chen Han felt annoyed as well. Packing up and readying herself, she went to go dance.

Actually, Chen Han had been in a pretty good mood of late. Yesterday, Teacher Wen had come to find her and told her she was giving Shen Xi’s program slot in the school anniversary celebration to her. This was the most important act on the program for the anniversary celebration. Back at the time, it was for this reason that Xia Wei Ye’s relationship with Shen Xi had soured, but Shen Xi had naively thought that it was over the issue of hot water.

Thus, there were some things that, until the final results were released, Chen Han simply would not say aloud.

In Shen Xi’s mind right now, how could there even be room for some dance or important program or whatever? All that was left in there were three words: stroke, oh, stroke.

Before He Zhi Zhou arrived downstairs, she sat on the stone steps of the basketball courts, a whirlpool of emotions in her heart. The early morning sun was very gentle, but her hands and feet had broken out in sweat. Eventually, she buried her head into her palms in anguish.

What should she do?

Actually… could she maybe practice doing it first?

But how was she supposed to practice?

Would He Zhi Zhou permit her to “play” with it? …

Shen Xi was so busy shamelessly thinking these things that when He Zhi Zhou came up to her, she did not even notice and received a big fright when she lifted her head.

“How is it that you make no noise at all?” She handed the breakfast to him.

He Zhi Zhou took a seat beside Shen Xi. Seeing that her face was particularly red, he asked, “So what’s going on?”

“The situation is like this…” Color flooded Shen Xi’s cheeks, and then she began to speak, basically relaying Monkey’s words. For example, this whole situation was somehow related to the National Population and Family Planning Commission; that the school executives were placing great importance on this as it represented the university’s honour; and that they could even get extra credits in their student quality development training—two credits, oh my.

After listening to everything, for the first time ever, He Zhi Zhou had an urge to curse someone’s father and mother.

“Boo hoo hoo, boo hoo hoo, boo hoo hoo, boo hoo hoo… What should we do?”

“Boo hoo hoo, boo hoo hoo. I won’t be able to get any out for sure.”

“It won’t come out…”

The more Shen Xi spoke, the more she was about to have a breakdown.

From his facial expressions, He Zhi Zhou appeared much more composed and collected than Shen Xi. Even in this moment, he did not forget to scoff at her. “What, have you tried already?”

“How is that possible? …” Shen Xi’s face flushed. Then, cupping her chin between both her hands, she waggled her head back and forth like a little sunflower. All of a sudden, she turned her face to him and, with an excited expression, told He Zhi Zhou, “I’ve thought of three plans. Do you want to hear them?”

Three plans? In the s.p.a.ce of a blink, she had thought of three plans? He Zhi Zhou was a little skeptical, but still, he was willing to listen. He said to Shen Xi, “Go ahead, say them.”

Shen Xi paused for a moment, then stretched out three slender fingers and began to speak. “Plan one: during the test, I’ll tell Brawny to share some of his over to me.”

Share some over to her? He Zhi Zhou’s temple was pulsing, and he waited for plan two.

“Plan two: I’ll have Monkey share some of his with me.”

He Zhi Zhou could not handle listening any further and wagged his hand, indicating to Shen Xi that she should stop. He already knew what plan three was. Rather meekly, Shen Xi still stated her third plan. “Plan three, then, I have no choice but to have… Lin Yu Tang share a little bit with me…”