Chapter 38 - Lemur
Hou Wei pushed the man leaning against her into the car. Closing the door, she stooped over and sent him a flying kiss, her smile sweet and beautiful. After the car moved off, she took out a cosmetic mirror from her bag and looked at her reflection, cursing, “F*ck, even someone provided for by a woman has the nerve to have an extramarital affair. What a waste of laoniang’s makeup.”
After re-applying the lipstick that had been smudged by the man, she fished out her phone, took a selfie of herself pouting, and then sent it to her moments. With her large eyes and palm-sized face, she looked very pretty in the photo even without beautification. Shortly after posting her photo, many men liked it. She sneered and placed her phone back into her handbag. Lighting a cigarette, she leaned against the streetlamp and puffed out clouds of smoke.
When a young man wearing a white top walked over to face her, she spat out a mouth of smoke. “Big sister isn’t interested in tender fledglings like you, keep your distance from me.”
Fu Li took out his work pa.s.s. “h.e.l.lo, I am an employee of the cultivators’ management bureau. Please take out your identification for verification.”
Hou Wei’s grip on the cigarette had slackened from shock even before hearing the full three words ‘cultivators’ management bureau’. She bit her fiery-red lips and said pitifully, “Older brother, all I did was sleep with a few humans. I didn’t absorb their vital qi or yang qi. T-That isn’t illegal, right?”
“We aren’t concerned about things done with mutual consent,” Zhang Ke walked out from behind. He took out his work pa.s.s, shaking it. “What we are concerned about is your suspected involvement in cheating humans of their money.”
“Those were willingly given to me, how is it considered cheating?” Hou Wei blinked her large eyes. “Older brother, let me off this time, okay?”
“Save it, the fox spirit I met the other time was far better at seducing people,” Zhang Ke took out his magic weapon, facing Hou Wei. If Hou Wei refused to cooperate, he could only capture her by force.
Seeing that these three men couldn’t be moved by force or persuasion, the smile on her face vanished. “Those men were asking for it by fooling around outside after marriage. So what if I cheated them! You rush to bother me after hearing that I cheated them of their money, but why didn’t anyone punish those slag men when they had extramarital affairs? Even if it wasn’t me, there will be other women. Can you manage all of them?”
“Human affairs aren’t under our control, we only manage things related to the cultivation world,” Zhang Ke knew that there was some logic to Hou Wei’s words, but without rules, there would be no structure and orderliness. If all yao did evil on the basis that humans also did wrong, then the entire cultivation world would be in chaos.
Today, a human who littered deserved it even if he was killed. Tomorrow, it would be fine even if a human who uttered profanities was eaten. Following that, it could become ‘humans should be eaten’.
“But according to human laws, half of the money you cheated from them belongs to their human wives. Those men deserve to be swindled, but the women are innocent,” Fu Li wasn’t taken in by Hou Wei’s words. “According to human laws, those men’s extramarital affairs are illegal. And the way you swindled them is also wrong. Just because someone else did wrong doesn’t mean you aren’t at fault – these are two very different things.”
Fu Li words choked Hou Wei up. A long while later, she took a puff of her cigarette and spat out the smoke at them. “None of you were even born yet the year laoniang traveled to the central plains. On what basis do you think you can capture me?”
Seeing that the three people didn’t have higher cultivation than her, Hou Wei looked up at the moon in the sky as she flicked the cigarette ash off. “Why don’t we all compromise a bit? I’ll return half the money to those men’s wives and you guys won’t put me in jail.”
She had heard that yao cultivators who were captured and made to do forced labor in the management bureau would revert to their original forms. She would not put up with such a thing!
“You realize now that being in jail isn’t a good thing, but what were you doing in the past?” Zhang Ke laughed irritably. “Fox spirit, we do things according to the rules. We’re not running a business.”
“You’re the f*cking fox spirit!” Hou Wei pointed at her pretty and large eyes. “Are you blind! Are a fox spirit’s eyes as large and pretty as mine?!”
Zhang Ke didn’t understand the reason behind Hou Wei’s sudden outburst, her display shocking him into retreating a few steps.
Soon after, he heard a string of cla.s.sic insults known nationwide, none of which was repeated. Zhang Ke turned to glance at Qing Xu. Qing Xu’s fingers were pinched together in a Daoist gesture, looking entirely like that of a lofty individual beyond worldly affairs. He immediately understood – Qing Xu could not be counted on for something like arguing.
Turning his head, he took another look at Fu Li. Unexpectedly, the other was listening to the insults with relish, seemingly very interested in the curse words.
“Fu ge,” Zhang Ke tugged on Fu Li. “These are all curse words, don’t take them seriously.”
“All these curse words were learnt from you humans?” Fu Li’s face was filled with reverence. “I didn’t expect you humans to also have such tremendous creativity when it comes to language.”
As a human, Zhang Ke didn’t feel the slightest bit of pride that came with being praised.
“But, she really isn’t a fox spirit,” Fu Li said. “I’ve seen her original form in . It’s called a lemur.”
Hou Wei, who was spouting curses at them, stared dazedly at Fu Li upon hearing the word k2018;lemur’, as if someone had pinched her neck.
As early as the beginnings of the Tang dynasty, a rumor had started circulating from who-knew-where that lemurs would bring people misfortune. This resulted in many wealthy merchants specially purchasing lemurs at high prices and using them as weapons against their compet.i.tors. There were people who captured countless lemurs and traveled towards the central plains to exchange them for refined clothing and household utensils. As the journey was a long one, nine out of ten caged lemurs died. Even if they were fortunate enough to make it to the central plains, they would fail to escape death due to the fear humans had towards them.
She was lucky. Since she had already gained intelligence, she managed to survive the journey. Afterwards, she was purchased by a rich merchant and thrown into their compet.i.tor’s yard. However, the mistress of the compet.i.tor’s household was an extremely kind lady. She hadn’t disdained her for her ugly looks, nor did she believe the rumors outside. Instead, she took her in.
Yet, such a good woman was poisoned to death by her husband, all because her husband had a love affair with another woman and didn’t dare to divorce her out of fear of her family’s influence. Hence, he could only use this sort of ruthless means.
She didn’t understand why a couple who had pledged to live to an old age together could so easily cease to be faithful, even being so heartless as to want the other party’s life. Were all those oaths of eternal love fake?
On that night, she transformed into her human form due to resentment and killed that heartless man.
She had lived for 1500 years and almost no human cultivator could see her original form. Why was this person able to state her original form so easily? Hou Wei threw away the cigarette b.u.t.t and looked vigilantly at Fu Li. “Who are you, why can you see my true appearance?”
“You aren’t even half my age, how hard can it be to make out your original form?” Fu Li gazed at Hou Wei with concern for the younger generation. “Come, I’ll give you two options. One, cooperate with our work and leave with us. Two, be taken away by us through force.”
“Senior.” Hou Wei straightened her body and said pitifully, “I’m a foreign monkey who doesn’t understand the rules of the central plain’s cultivation world very well. Spare me this time, I won’t do such a thing again in the future!”
Zhang Ke finally understood what it meant to switch att.i.tudes even faster than flipping through a book. This was certainly not what she looked like just now when she was puffing out smoke and cursing people.
“Your breed might not be native to our country, but your cultivation methods aren’t any different from our country’s. Moreover, you broke the law in our country,” Zhang Ke took out his phone, snapped a photo of Hou Wei, uploaded it into the work system and ran a check on it. “Oh, you even have an identification card in our country. After living on this land for more than a thousand years, you still don’t know our rules?”
Hou Wei hadn’t expected her lie to have been seen through so easily. Turning her head, she caught sight of the many people behind her pa.s.sing by. Her eyes shifted and she instantly hatched a scheme internally. Taking a deep breath, she sank her breath to her dantian, and yelled loudly, “Help, a hoodlum molested me!”
“F*ck, this woman is too shameless,” Zhang Ke suffered a huge shock. He hurriedly glanced around their surroundings. Upon seeing that there was no reaction from the pa.s.sersby, not only did he not heave a sigh of relief, he became even angrier. “No reaction even after hearing a girl scream for help, what kind of people are they!”
“Sorry, I set up a barrier in pa.s.sing just now, so the people outside can’t see or hear us,” Fu Li smiled innocently. He reached out to grab Hou Wei and she immediately reverted to her original form. A large-eyed, not-very-good-looking lemur landed in Fu Li’s hands.
“Zhi zhi zhi zhi.” The lemur struggled for a while, but in the end, its four claws stilled, and it lay motionless on Fu Li’s palm. Then, it curled up its tail bit by bit, hiding its shockingly large eyes.
“Quite cute,” Fu Li turned his head and spoke to Zhang Ke. “Let’s go back.”
“Zhi?” The lemur’s tail shifted a little, revealing its large eyes as it looked timidly at Fu Li. It seemed she had never thought that someone would actually praise her for being cute.
Hou Wei was brought to the management bureau. During the course of the investigation, it was found that she had not violated the laws by using bewitching techniques while she was in a relationship with the human men. The money was also voluntarily given to her by the human men. However, Hou Wei’s actions were suspected to have damaged the human couple’s relationship. Hence, an internal disagreement resulted when it came to determining her sentence.
While everyone was arguing with no end in sight, Fu Li spoke up.
“Hou Wei’s behavior was wrong, but we realized during the investigation that she did not take the initiative to contact those men. It was those men who had deviant intentions towards her and actively courted her. From this perspective, Hou Wei would not be considered the main perpetrator,” Fu Li took out the doc.u.ments on the investigation. “Furthermore, Hou Wei expressed that she is willing to return the money to those men’s companions. If any of these companions want a divorce, she is willing to testify and prove that the men who engaged in extramarital affairs were the parties in the wrong. This would allow the women who were negatively affected to receive more a.s.sets upon divorce.”
“If this is the situation, then I think we can reduce Hou Wei’s sentence,” Xu Yuan snorted coldly. She didn’t have much goodwill towards the men who engaged in extramarital affairs. “If we think through Hou Wei’s case carefully, her actions should be considered a boon and not swindling.”
In the end, the conclusion everyone arrived at was for Hou Wei to return all the money to those men’s companions. After paying a fine, she would then be exempted from serving a prison sentence. However, she would need to do two years of volunteer work in a human community, so as to interact more with humans who led ordinary lives.
To the management bureau, Hou Wei’s case was merely an ordinary one. Not only would they punish the wrongdoer Hou Wei, they would simultaneously give those cheating men their just deserts. As for how exactly they would do that, that was the bureau’s internal secret.
On Fu Li’s seventh day at the bureau, he suddenly exploded in popularity on the internet.
It turned out that the wacky program that intentionally scared people had broadcasted the edits of the fake ghost in the lift. Among the various people who were frightened into crying or making a fuss, Fu Li was a breath of fresh air. The moment the ghost leapt out, his first thought wasn’t fear, but to remind the other party not to jump in the lift. The interview that followed was also very interesting – he didn’t say anything other than emphasizing that wreaking havoc in the lift was not allowed. With such a security guard in the hotel, the feeling of responsibility and security was overwhelming.
Of course, one other important point was that this security guard was very handsome.
A netizen very quickly found out that not only was this bodyguard completely unafraid of the ghost, he had even saved a young lady who was being hara.s.sed by hoodlums, as well as a python who was struck by lightning. The evidence was the picture the young lady had attached to her weibo post when she was searching for her benefactor, as well as the Forestry bureau’s weibo post expressing thanks.
Netizens who learnt that the security guard worked at Affinity Moon Hotel flocked to the hotel to ask about him. Only then did everyone realize that this handsome guy had already resigned one week ago. The very disappointed netizens wanted to ask more about his whereabouts, but they learnt nothing no matter how much they asked around.
There were netizens who felt that it was definitely some company’s way of promoting their internet celebrity. Yet, no matter how long they waited, this handsome bodyguard didn’t make a weibo post or accept interviews. In the end, they had no choice but to admit that he was truly a bodyguard whose brain was wired somewhat oddly.
“Fu ge, you’re famous,” Zhang Ke walked over to Fu Li, phone in hand. “Many meng girls on the internet are calling you the most handsome bodyguard and want to birth your children. There are even Miss Perfects who want to take you in and support you.”
“What children? We’re not the same species, we can’t have children together,” Fu Li was doing a set of history exam papers and didn’t even raise his head upon hearing Zhang Ke’s words. “I have a perfectly functional set of limbs, how can I be so shameless as to be supported by a human girl. How embarra.s.sing would that be for a yao?”
“It’s fine, it’s not like there aren’t many yao who’re being raised by humans. Not long ago, I even ran into a few cat yao who were comparing whose feces-scooper was more devoted,” Zhang Ke smiled mischievously. “What is yours when compared to them?”
Fu Li shook his head, sighing, “In the past, it was considered shameful to become a human’s pet, yet it’s the common practice now. Public morals really are deteriorating with every pa.s.sing day.”
Zhang Ke gave two dry coughs and kept his phone, fearing that not doing so would turn him into a sc.u.mbag who led yao astray.
“Everyone’s here?” Zhuang Qing walked in carrying a file. “The cultivation world’s once-in-a-decade population census is about to start. Work a bit harder these days and complete it as soon as possible. The method of counting is a bit more complex than the previous times – registration has to include address, number of people, house, and employment.”
“Boss, isn’t that the humans’ criteria?” Chu Yu asked. “Why do us yao have to follow their criteria?”
“We have to keep up with the times. Strengthening the management of the cultivation world is our responsibility,” Zhuang Qing handed him the file. “Evil yao have been appearing more frequently lately. Even the mountain imps hiding in the forests and mountains dare to venture into the city and cause havoc. What does this mean? This means that our work isn’t good enough.”
The representative of the evil yao, Song Yu, lowered his head a little.
Everyone was aware that there were no two ways about this, so they no longer talked about whether or not they had to do it, but who would be in charge of what area.
Zhuang Qing glanced at Fu Li. “Fu Li, come to my office for a while.”
Fu Li put down his pen, got up, and followed Zhuang Qing. After both people entered the office, Zhuang Qing tapped open a message on his handphone. “You transferred this one million to me?”
“Didn’t I borrow one million from you? Now that I have money, I naturally have to return it to you,” Ever since the human called Zhou Chang gave him a check, he became someone with money, although it still wasn’t enough to buy a house in the capital.
“You…” Fu Li’s completely unperturbed appearance stifled Zhuang Qing till his anger had no way of dispersing. “Do you know that that’s a million?!”
“I know, that’s why I returned it to you. If I only borrowed ten yuan, it would probably have already slipped my mind a long time ago,” Fu Li cast a resentful glance at Zhuang Qing. This person was unhappy that he was returning him money, was there something wrong with him? He had queued up at the bank with much difficulty to transfer the check’s money into his bank account before he could return it to him, yet here he was getting angry.
“Then did you know that the Hunyuan pill you gave me is worth at least two million, and that the raw diamond has immeasurable worth? Do you know how to settle your accounts properly?” Zhuang Qing finally couldn’t suppress the gloominess in his heart. He exclaimed in a low voice, “You’ve lived for four thousand years, what are you thinking of in that head?!”
“Borrowing is borrowing, of course it has to be returned,” Fu Li patted Zhuang Qing’s shoulder. “You’re still young, don’t have such a violent temper. What if your cultivation drops? I’m not distressed over it, so what are you doing getting distressed on my behalf?”
Zhuang Qing took a deep breath and swatted the hand on his shoulder. “Okay, just take me as a dog that catches mice then.”
Fu Li muttered softly, “That’s not true. You’re a dragon who has no link to dogs.”
Zhuang Qing tried very hard to remind himself not to flare up. He took two deep breaths. “Fu Li, many of the things that are worthless to you are considered rare treasures in this era. You’re a yao under my management bureau now, so I can’t just watch as you suffer losses. Understand?”
Fu Li blinked. “Is the current cultivation world really so miserable?”
Those things he considered second-rate snacks were now rare goods?
“There are still many things you’re unaware of.” Zhuang Qing watched Fu Li obediently lower his head as he listened to his teachings and sighed, “I told you before not to only watch news broadcasts?”
“I didn’t. Lately, I’ve been watching and .”
A while later, Zhuang Qing replied with gritted teeth, “Okay, as long as you’re happy.”
“Zhuang Qing, you’re really a good dragon. I’m living my life quite happily now,” Fu Li smiled merrily. This dragon might be a bit bad-tempered, but his heart was very good.
Zhuang Qing chuckled sarcastically.
“You…” Zhuang Qing’s voice cut off abruptly. He turned and glanced out the window, his expression grave. “What dense yao qi.”
“It seems to be coming from the direction of the East Sea,” The East Sea was very far from the capital, yet the yao qi still reached this place. It was clear that it was a great yao with profound cultivation.
The two people’s gazes met. Morphing into streams of light, they vanished into the horizon.
At the coast of the East Sea, night had already descended. In the dense ma.s.s of roiling seawater, the image of an enormous monster was faintly discernible. Shoals of fish fled in all directions. There was not a single bird in the sky.
Ilyz: I see you guys are divided on whether or not FL is a rabbit~ I wish I could do a poll just to see what everyone thinks ?
Also, DDAS will be updated twice per week on Tues and Fri from next week onwards. Thank you for being so patient ^_^