Chapter 45 - Mala Rabbit Cubes
Zhuang Qing left his office and saw all the employees in the office snacking. Seeing him appear, the employees even attempted to conceal the snacks, though all that did was make it even more conspicuous. Shouldn’t they think about their oil-covered mouths and the smell in the room? It would be strange if he didn’t know what they were doing.
Pretending not to have seen their tiny movements, Zhuang Qing scanned the room. “Where did Fu Li run off to?”
“Boss, Fu ge went to visit the Kunpeng,” Zhang Ke lowered his voice when saying the word ‘Kunpeng’. “Why don’t you wait for Fu ge to return before looking for him?”
Zhuang Qing turned and silently went back to his office with a straight face.
Fu Li walked into the Kunpeng’s room and caught sight of the enormous, fat bird in the middle of the room. He called out to it twice, but there was no reaction from the Kunpeng. Left with no choice, he went up and pulled on its wings. Only after pulling out several feathers did he manage to wake the Kunpeng.
Transforming into his human form, the Kunpeng sat up straight on the floor. “Rabbit, you’re back?”
Fu Li sat cross-legged in front of the Kunpeng. “Kunpeng daren, try the local specialties I brought back for you.” He fished out a large pile of things that included even spicy sticks from his Qiankun Pouch.
“How can there be no alcohol when there’s food?” The Kunpeng asked Fu Li, “Did you buy any alcohol? If you didn’t, I’ll teleport us some.”
“Daren, an ordinary person would be frightened if they realized that their things suddenly disappeared,” Fu Li started rifling through his Qiankun Pouch again. “Stealing isn’t right either. I have here a few jars of old wine from a few thousand years back; they were fermented by a yao cultivator on my mountain. I was young at that time, and the elders on the mountain refused to let me drink, so I secretly snuck a few jars into my Qiankun Pouch. If you didn’t mention it today, it would have slipped my mind.”
The earthen jar of wine that Fu Li took out was very ordinary – not only was the earthen jar formed from potter’s clay very ugly, the soil on its surface had not been wiped off, as if it had been freshly dug out of the ground.
“How can a male yao not drink?” The Kunpeng popped open the cover. The pure, distinct fragrance of wine a.s.sailed their nostrils and spiritual qi very quickly filled the entire room. He threw the earthen jar to Fu Li. “Come, I’ll drink with you today.”
Fu Li accepted the earthen jar and proclaimed, “It is this little yao’s fortune to have the company of Kunpeng daren.” He lifted up the earthen jar and drank a mouthful of the fruit wine that had once been the subject of infinite curiosity.
There was a slight chill to it, though the sweet taste and fragrant scent took center stage.
“Good!” The Kunpeng also lifted up the earthen jar and took a big gulp from it. As the wine went down his throat, all he felt was a sensation of relaxation and carefreeness, along with a floaty feeling, as if he was about to transcend the mundane world. “Good wine, good wine! The elder of your honorable mountain has a pair of skillful hands. If there is a chance, I will definitely pay a visit in person.”
Fu Li laughed, wine trickling down the arc of his throat into his shirt. “It’s a pity that the mountain has already fallen to ruin. Among the hundreds of big and tiny yaoguai on the mountain, only I remain alive.” One of his hands grabbed hold of an earthen jar, clinking it against the Kunpeng’s. “It is their fate that Kunpeng daren could taste this wine.”
The Kunpeng hadn’t expected such an incident to have occurred. Patting Fu Li on the shoulder, he said, “Enjoy while you can, there is no turning back time. Come, cheers.”
Strong alcohol fermented by humans could not intoxicate yao. However, not-so-strong wine fermented by yao could easily intoxicate yao.
Fu Li, who had never consumed spiritual wine, was already drunk after drinking a few jars. He reclined on the soft carpet, one hand propped against his head, while the other hand raised an earthen jar, pouring the wine into his mouth. His pupils had turned gold.
The Kunpeng bragged to Fu Li about his past grand deeds and the various emotional entanglements between the great yao.
“The Zhongdiao and Zheng could never get along, so those two blockheads would always get into a fight the moment they b.u.mp into each other. They had bad tempers and would eat people at the first sign of dispute. Who knows whether they’re still alive now?”
“They’re dead,” Fu Li waved his hand, pointing at the sky outside the window. “They were struck to death with just one bang.”
“It seems laozi even got another chance at life while sealed in the ocean,” The Kunpeng pushed the empty earthen jar far away. “Then would the Baize and Dangkang considered my enemies or benefactors?”
“Sealed?” Fu Li looked at the Kunpeng giddily.
“You heard wrong,” The Kunpeng sobered up quite a bit. “I didn’t say anything like that. Come come come, drink.”
“Oh oh oh,” Fu Li lowered his head to drink the wine from the earthen jar. All of a sudden, he turned into a palm-sized ball of fur and fell into the jar with a plop, leaving a pile of clothes on the ground.
“How did you get that drunk?” The Kunpeng shook his head. “Children who haven’t drank before are way too weak.”
He extended a hand into the jar and felt around. Grabbing onto two long ears, he easily pulled his hand out and gazed at the rabbit in his hand with half-lidded eyes. Wasn’t this rabbit’s teeth a bit too sharp? A pity that a jar of good wine had gone to waste, used as bathwater.
The Kunpeng watched the wine drip from Fu Li’s body onto the floor and opened his mouth in preparation to blow dry Fu Li’s fur.
“Kunpeng daren…” Zhuang Qing walked in and saw the Kunpeng’s wide mouth, the rabbit in his hands, and the pile of clothes in the room. There was no sign of Fu Li. His expression instantly changed drastically, and he took out his natal sword, saying with a heavy look, “Kunpeng, put him down!”
The Kunpeng looked at the rabbit in his hands and then glanced at Zhuang Qing, who was shrouded in murderous intent from head to toe. His somewhat intoxicated mind didn’t grasp the situation.
Seeing that the Kunpeng was unwilling to release his grip, Zhuang Qing’s grip on the sword tightened. He took a few steps forward, perspiration on his forehead. “Kunpeng, Fu Li has always treated you with sincerity. Why do you want to eat him?” Seeing that Fu Li lay motionless in the Kunpeng’s hands, dragon scales started surfacing on Zhuang Qing’s face and hands. Dragon Might emanated in all directions.
“Boss!” All theaquatic yao cultivators in the management bureau jolted. This was their natural instinct.
“Chu Yu, Lin Gui, what happened to the both of you?” Seeing that the newcomer k2013; the yellow pond turtle k2013; beside him had also stood up, Ning Xuan threw down the half-eaten rabbit head in his hand. “Did something happen at Boss’ place?”
The boss had gone to find Fu Li just now and returned to his office since Fu Li wasn’t around. Not long later, he went out again. Could it be the…
“Kunpeng?!” With a whoosh, he transformed into a flying sword, broke through the gla.s.s windows, and flew out.
“You want to attack me?” The Kunpeng thought that Zhuang Qing was looking to provoke him. He snorted coldly, “A mere insignificant mixed-breed dragon wants to show off their might in front of me.” He threw Fu Li in his original form to the side. Both hands transformed into human palms and thrust towards Zhuang Qing.
Zhuang Qing glanced at the motionless Fu Li, who had been thrown to a corner. Inwardly, he heaved a sigh of relief. At least, the Kunpeng was too occupied now to care about eating him.
Not in the mood to fight zealously, Zhuang Qing raised his sword, meeting the Kunpeng’s palms heavily. Borrowing the force of the Kunpeng’s palms, he turned and flew to Fu Li. In a blink of an eye, the Kunpeng’s palm thrust towards him once again. He swiftly stuffed Fu Li into the pocket of his suit, gritted his teeth, and met him with both palms out.
“Bang!”
His entire body enveloped in a magnificent golden glow, Zhuang Qing’s one strike at full strength was unexpectedly evenly matched with the Kunpeng. Taking advantage of the lull, he retreated to the door and shouted towards Ning Xuan, Chu Yu, and the rest who had rushed over, “Don’t come over.”
By nature, those of the aquatic clans obeyed the orders of the dragon race. Adding on the golden light of virtue and the majestic Dragon Might, no one dared to step forward.
Only Chao Yun, who had taken on a human form by borrowing the female emperor’s dragon qi, didn’t fear the golden light of virtue and Dragon Might. She took a few steps towards Zhuang Qing. However, the room at this moment was filled with yao qi, making it extremely laborious for her to maintain her human form.
“Chao Yun, take Fu Li away,” Zhuang Qing fished something out of his pocket and threw it to Chao Yun. Chao Yun hastily reached out her hands and caught it. Only after quickly retreating back to her companions did she have the energy to look at the thing in her hands.
Was this a rabbit?
The boss seemed to have asked her to take Fu Li away just now, could it be…
Chao Yun looked at the tiny rabbit that could easily be held up with two palms. This was Fu ge’s original form?
“Are you sick in the head?” The Kunpeng hadn’t expected the golden light of virtue on Zhuang Qing to be that strong. Thinking about heavenly law’s tendency to send down lightning bolts at the first sign of dispute, he dared not get into a real fight with Zhuang Qing. “It’s not even okay for the rabbit and me to drink some wine?”
“Drink wine?” Zhuang Qing smiled coldly. “Is it necessary to put Fu Li into your mouth when drinking?”
“That tiny rabbit can’t even fill the cracks in my teeth, why would I eat him?” Forced to carry this black pot for no reason, the Kunpeng was on the verge of exploding from anger. “He fell into the earthen jar, so I held him up to blow dry his fur! There’s this pile of delicious snacks to eat, yet I insist on eating a furry rabbit – am I that silly in your eyes?”
Only then did Zhuang Qing notice several ugly and crude earthen jars rolling around on the floor. The rubbish bin was overflowing with snack wrappers.
“Please forgive me, Kunpeng daren. This humble one has wronged you,” Zhuang Qing kept his sword and bowed deeply to the Kunpeng.
Given his temper in the past, the Kunpeng would definitely have pressed down the other party and given them a beating without care about whether or not it was a misunderstanding. But that wouldn’t do for the mixed-breed dragon in front of him. That sparkling virtue around Zhuang Qing’s body, as well as his profound cultivation made the Kunpeng decide to back down.
“Hmph, seeing that you did it out of concern for Fu Li, I won’t pursue this matter with you today. This will be the only time,” The Kunpeng let out a cold snort. “Leave, don’t disrupt my drinking.”
When all these yao employees left, all the wine would be left to him to savor.
“Many thanks for Kunpeng daren’s leniency,” Zhuang Qing helped the Kunpeng pull the door shut before turning and walking to his colleagues, who were standing guard at the staircase.
“Boss, what happened to you?”
“Should we get the Yao Union to dispatch some people over?”
“What happened to Fu ge? What did the Kunpeng do to Fu ge?” Zhang Ke, who usually didn’t dare to raise his voice when mentioning the Kunpeng, was already so furious that the rims of his eyes had turned red. “That brute. Fu ge treated him so well, but he still…”
“Nothing’s wrong, I just misunderstood something,” Zhuang Qing walked over to Chao Yun, reached out, and crudely picked Fu Li up by his fur. “Return to your jobs, leave Fu Li to me.”
“Ai, Boss…” Zhang Ke wanted to ask Zhuang Qing to be more gentle, but the moment Zhuang Qing’s icy gaze shifted over, he put on a smiling expression cooperatively. “The rabbit might not feel very comfortable being held that way.”
“I know,” Zhuang Qing threw down this statement before striding away.
Zhang Ke glanced at Chao Yun and asked softly, “Were you really holding Fu ge just now?”
Chao Yun hadn’t returned to her senses yet. She stuttered in reply to Zhang Ke’s question, “M-Maybe.”
Although they had long known that Fu Li was a rabbit yao, the other party’s high cultivation prevented them from equating Fu Li to a rabbit. Only on this day did they genuinely believe that Fu Li was really only a twenty centimeter-long rabbit – a furry and harmless rabbit.
When Zhuang Qing reached a deserted area, he glanced back and then flung Fu Li over his arm. He returned to his office and picked up a jacket to cover the rabbit in the crook of his arm. After setting up a barrier, he directly returned to his house from the office.
He placed the rabbit on the couch, went to the kitchen to pour a gla.s.s of tea, and then switched on the television to watch a boring variety show. He watched the show for a while, but constantly had the nagging feeling that the rabbit’s head seemed to be drooping very uncomfortably. So, he placed a small pillow under the rabbit’s head.
A while later, he found the jacket on the floor a bit displeasing to the eye. Hence, he picked it up and threw it over the rabbit. Along the way, he pulled it down slightly, revealing the rabbit’s head.
Under normal circ.u.mstances, rabbit ears were pointed upwards, yet Fu Li’s ears hung by the sides of his s.h.a.ggy head. The tips of his ears were sharp, resembling writing brushes. His incisors weren’t very obvious, though there seemed to be two sharp tiger teeth on the sides. His nose didn’t look like a rabbit’s nose, more like the nose of a tiny puppy. No wonder he didn’t like to change forms; there were some slight variations in his original form.
Zhuang Qing placed a hand at the side of his nose to find out if he was breathing. He flicked his ears as well, but there was completely no reaction from the peacefully-sleeping rabbit. The rabbit didn’t have the slightest bit of vigilance.
For a rabbit this silly to have lived for more than four thousand years, he must have relied entirely on his good fate, high cultivation, as well as the guileless yao cultivators on his mountain.
For some reason, Zhuang Qing felt slightly aggrieved. He poked Fu Li’s furry, soft belly a few times. It seemed those yaoguai had raised this rabbit quite well; it was all flesh beneath the fur.
The variety show on television had already ended and a culinary program was now broadcasting. The host in the show happened to be teaching the audience how to cook mala rabbit cubes. Zhuang Qing looked at the fat rabbit on the sofa and then took another glance at the rabbit meat cooking in the deep fryer. Taking out a packet of mala rabbit heads that Fu Li had given him, he started munching slowly on them.
Fu Li felt like he had traveled two thousand years back in time. He had told King Ganglie that he was already an adult yao and wanted to leave the mountain to take a look outside. In the end, he only managed to reach the foot of the mountain when he ran into an injured human. It was his first time seeing humans, so feeling that it was a novel affair, he rode the clouds and brought the human to a physician. Who would have expected those physicians to be so frightened upon seeing him that they lost the ability to even speak coherently?
On his first trip to the human world, he had no experience, nothing on him, and didn’t know that he had to change into his human form before interacting with humans. In the end, he could only bring the human back to the mountain and take some random medicine from King Ganglie for him to eat.
Not only could the human he saved tell stories, they also knew how to draw and write. Fu Li’s interest was piqued, and so he got the human to stay. The yao cultivators on the mountain felt that he was still young and raising a human pet would help to temper his character and relieve his boredom, hence they didn’t raise any objections.
Fu Li couldn’t remember how many years he had raised this pet. The pet had died later on. Before it died, it even prohibited him from raising another pet. He was a good owner, so he could only agree to his pet’s request.
Fu Li turned over. Feeling that he seemed to have gotten stuck in a hole, he opened his eyes and realized that his head was trapped in an enormous crack in the couch. Only after kicking his legs vigorously did he manage to pull his head out.
“You’re awake?”
Zhuang Qing walked over and held out a dish containing three moisture-filled but uncut carrots to him.
Fu Li shook his ears and then realized that he seemed to have changed into his original form. He shrunk into the sofa cushions, wanting to conceal his body.
“Don’t bother hiding, I already saw your original form very clearly,” Zhuang Qing pushed the dish containing the carrots towards Fu Li. “Variations can occur in any species, including rabbits. In any case… you’re still very good-looking.”
“That’s because we have fur,” Fu Li shook the very fluffy fur on his body and pushed the dish to the side with dislike. “I hate eating carrots.”
“What kind of rabbit are you if you don’t eat carrots?” Zhuang Qing pushed the dish back to its original spot. “Eat.”
“No!” Fu Li pushed it back.
“Even a rabbit wants to be fussy?” Zhuang Qing didn’t push it back this time. He picked up a carrot from the dish and looked it over. These were the latest products grown by the Fields Sect that he had purchased from the cultivators’ shopping app, how was it not nice to eat?
“Even the humans have food they don’t like to eat, why can’t us rabbits dislike eating carrots?” Fu Li swung his short tail. The variations in his original form had already been seen by Zhuang Qing anyway, so he simply went with the flow, too lazy to change back to his human form.
His human form might be larger than his original form, but it didn’t feel as natural.
Zhuang Qing looked at the rabbit who was lying on the sofa with its belly up. He took the dish away. “What do you want to eat then?”
“Do you have shrimp?’ Fu Li’s ears shook, a moist l.u.s.ter to his golden eyes. “I eat anything apart from rabbit meat. I’m not picky about food.”
If Fu Li had asked him such a thing in his human form, Zhuang Qing would definitely have replied with a ‘no’ without even giving it a thought. However, the one speaking now was a rabbit. It was also a fat, tender, white-furred rabbit. Zhuang Qing replied with a poker face. “Wait a moment.”
Zhuang Qing had lived alone for nearly two thousand years, so his culinary skills were not too bad. The food was very quickly prepared. Fu Li fluttered around the kitchen entrance in his original form, praising Zhuang Qing while sniffing the aroma.
For Fu Li, changing back into his original form was akin to recovering his ident.i.ty; the way he spoke and did things became much more casual. It probably had to do with shedding the layer of human skin – he no longer needed to pay much attention to human laws and ethics.
As a rabbit, Fu Li’s favorite food wasn’t vegetables but meat. He was particularly fond of fish and shrimp, which was quite similar to Zhuang Qing’s own tastes. Hearing the crunching and snapping sounds as Fu Li chewed on the fish bones, Zhuang Qing felt his bones aching slightly. Unable to help himself, he kneaded his shoulders a few times. “You drank alcohol during work hours and violated staff rules. Two hundred will be deducted from your wages this month.”
“Oh,” Fu Li already had money and wasn’t very concerned about this little bit of money.
Zhuang Qing watched his long ears swinging about and couldn’t help asking, “You really don’t intend to eat in your human form?”
“I haven’t been in my original form for nearly two thousand years,” Fu Li shifted his hind legs. “Let me enjoy a while longer.”
Although his original form was a bit ugly, wasn’t Zhuang Qing also a mixed-blood dragon? Neither of them should resent the other. Coming to terms with this, Fu Li ate his meal with a lot of joy.
Zhuang Qing endured it, silently reminding himself that he still owed the other party for the Hunyuan pill and the fist-sized natural diamond. He couldn’t get angry.
Someone who took other’s things had their hands tied, someone who took other’s things had their hands tied, someone who took other’s things had their hands tied.
“Your house is decorated very beautifully,” Fu Li lay on the soft chair with his belly up and looked at the gems on the walls and the natural crystal chandelier on the ceiling. He dug around in his ears and poured out a pile of multi-colored gems. “Forming a rainbow out of gems on the wall will surely be very pretty.”
Ever since the time he left the mountain without bringing anything, Fu Li developed a habit of hiding his Qiankun Pouch in his ears.
“Rainbow?” Zhuang Qing felt that Fu Li’s sense of aesthetics was overly vulgar.
Fu Li said, “There was a very pretty seven-colored deer on our mountain.” His claw patted the gems and the gems automatically rose into the air, formed the shape of a rainbow, and then stuck tightly to the wall, glowing resplendently.
“How is it? Pretty, right?” Fu Li clapped with his two front claws. “You young yao are still lacking in aesthetics.”
“You don’t want the gems you embedded in my wall?” Zhuang Qing looked at the colorful rainbow on the wall with a very profound look on his face.
“Don’t worry, I’ll just come to your house in the future to admire them,” Fu Li was very satisfied with his handiwork. “As yao, we don’t need to place so much importance on worldly possessions. At the end of the day, they’re just a pile of rocks.”
There were enough of these toys in his Qiankun Pouch to form a mountain.
“Forget it, just take it that I’m safeguarding them for you,” Zhuang Qing sighed, as if already envisioning Fu Li’s future as someone who wandered the streets in ragged clothes due to his wasteful actions.
“Up to you, as long as you’re happy,” Fu Li shook his ears, floated back to the sofa, and lay down on it. He may have already woken up, but the effects of the alcohol hadn’t completely dissipated, so he felt sleepy again after filling his tummy.
Fortunately, this Zhuang Qing had a cold appearance but warm heart; he couldn’t bear to leave a drunk yao outside and carefully took care of him.
These sparkling things were well-liked by little yao – creating a rainbow for Zhuang Qing could be considered a way of amusing him. When he was young, he had also been fond of such things. When the adult yao cultivators on his mountain learnt of it, they would use gems to form pretty silver rivers and shining trees and roads.
He closed his eyes. He seemed to hear White Ape’s relentless nagging, the sparrow’s chirping, as well as King Ganglie’s constant roars for him to finish his food as he chased after him.
The food cooked by King Ganglie was unpalatable and very ugly to look at, yet he insisted that he finished it. For a time, eating had been Fu Li’s most feared activity.
“Chief Zhuang, is this rabbit your pet? It’s so cute.”
Fu Li opened his eyes, his gaze meeting that of the person who had just spoken.
Oh?
Wasn’t this that something-or-another from the azure dragon clan? He seemed to be the person who bullied Zhuang Qing the other time?
He even came all the way to Zhuang Qing’s house, what did he want this time?
“It seems the newcomer Fu Li’s great abilities have given Chief Zhuang the leisure time to raise a pet,” Qing Yan shifted his line of sight away from the rabbit. To him, weak life forms like rabbits weren’t any different from the cups on the table and the cushions on the sofa.
He directed a gentle smile at Zhuang Qing. “You truly aren’t worried about Fu Li harboring evil intentions towards you?”
Zhuang Qing lowered his head and looked at the rabbit lying on the cushions. “…”
The rabbit silently crawled into a crack in the sofa, leaving only a round and short tail visible.