Don’t Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms!

“After the enemy saw that Sishui Pa.s.s was taken, they burnt down Luoyang and kidnapped the Son of Heaven to Chang’an.”

(TL: Son of Heaven is another means of saying the emperor. The Chinese, Koreans and j.a.panese (and probably most other Asian races) all like to proclaim legitimacy for their royal families by claiming lineage from the G.o.ds.)

(TL: This is actually what happened in the original. Dong Zhuo fled to Chang’an after Hulao Pa.s.s was taken with Lu Bu. Lu Bu slept with a chambermaid that was fancied by Dong Zhuo (in history) or Dong Zhuo’s concubine Diao Chan (in fiction), was encouraged to betray Dong Zhuo and was also used as a stress ball by Dong Zhuo. All this ended up pushing Lu Bu to kill Dong Zhuo.)

“Haah?!” During the journey to Luoyang, it was already sweltering hot, and this late piece of news added a big tub of oil onto our rich young mistress Yuan Shao’s simmering temper. “If Luoyang is burnt down, then what are we still going there for huh?!”

“Ben Chu, we are almost there already, and we can’t just ignore the fire in Luoyang. We must send our troops to put it out. It is, after all, the capital city.” Meng De who was close to Yuan Shao quickly said to her. “There is enough time for us to put out the fire before we chase down the enemies who fled to Chang’an.”

“Chasing? Still?” Yuan Shao really was feeling insufferable as she spat out only 2 words in reply before turning to look at the other feudal lords– All of them looked horrible. On seeing this, Yuan Shao let out a sigh of irritation, “Taking Sishui pa.s.s took us half a day, finding Hulao Pa.s.s took us half a day before we found that we wasted our time, and now that we are finally nearing Luoyang and victory, this happens~~~”

Judging from that, young mistress Yuan Shao doesn’t want to continue the campaign.

“Huh… We still have to go to Chang’an?” Gongsun Zan supported her forehead which was not yet fully healed as she said irritably. “Think about me for once, my home is at You state! The road back home seems so much longer now.”

Be thankful, at least the distance you face is physical. If I want to go home, I have to travel thousands of years.

“My lord, we must seize this opportunity offered to us on this campaign and remember landmarks in this area. When we advance into the Central Plains, it will be useful… My lord, are you even listening?!”

Zi Long was giving useful advice to Gongsun Zan from behind while Gongsun Zan couldn’t be bothered to listen… Ah, Gongsun Zan was reduced to tears again from Zi Long’s scolding… Hai~~~ When will she learn…

“But she’s right in a way, recently all we’ve done is march and it’s really too much.” Han Fu lay down lazily on her horse. She seems to be talking with us a lot recently, “I’d originally wanted to score some merits, but my Pan Feng’s recent form isn’t too good.”

Isn’t he always in bad form then? And it’s not my place to say this, but if you’d used Zhang He more, you would definitely have achieved some merits.

But after listening to them, it looks like not just Yuan Shao but the vast majority of the feudal lords do not wish to march on anymore as the effort and suffering of marching just didn’t seem to be worth whatever merits they could achieve. Add to that their being away from their own territories for a while now, being a little homesick is pretty normal.

(TL: Marching is no joke… Especially as an ordinary soldier, you have to carry typically 10-15kg load on you besides your weapon and wear heat trapping kevlar… And you have to remember that in that era, food and water isn’t so accessible.)

“… Maa, we will put out the fire… Uncle Sun Jian, I’ll leave this colossal task to you.”

“Haa?!” Uncle Sun Jian was terribly unwilling. “On what grounds? Every time we go into battle, I’m always leading either the vanguard or the shock troops, and now we have to put out the fire I’m the first to go as well! You, how can you bully someone to this extent?”

“Aiya, uncle Sun Jian. When we meet the Son of Heaven, I’ll sing more praises of you then.” Yuan Shao quickly tried to placate Sun Jian on hearing his objections.

But everyone knew, that those words were not much more than an empty promise as they weren’t even close to the Son of Heaven.

“Hmph, really… I’ll go I’ll go.” Sun Jian couldn’t be bothered to argue further and brought his troops out of the main body and sped up towards Luoyang.

“… What sort of att.i.tude is that huh…” Yuan Shao looked at the distant Sun Jian with dissatisfaction, “Little sister, as the on in charge of logistics, don’t give him the full amount he has been allocated later.”

“I know, big sister.” Yuan Shu and her older sister looked at each other and they both gave an evil laughter.

Meng De, who was beside, saw it all but she didn’t say a word and only shook her head.

… I feel that this coalition will break up soon.

By the time we reached Luoyang, the fire was almost out.

Though the fire was out, the city could no longer be considered a city. Instead of ruins, it would be more appropriate to call what remained charred soul. Corpses couldn’t be seen clearly but there was always a pungent scent of burnt meat that hung about in the air that made one feel disgusted and chilled to the bone. Several feudal lords were even adamantly unwilling to enter the city and set up camp outside.

Those fellows, how could they have burnt something down so thoroughly…

Even though I knew it would be fruitless, I let my little sisters and Feng Xian and the rest see if there were any survivors buried under the wreckage. I, on the other hand, went with Hua Tuo to treat those who’d been saved.

As I predicted, the people they saved were few and most were badly burnt. I’d never thought I’d see such a grotesque sight again after Hua Xiong’s death, and the overpowering nausea once again returned.

“Burnt skin cannot heal, if you want to heal it, you need to do skin grafting… But the resources and condition of patients here are too poor, this skin is most likely…” Hua Tuo started tearing as she said so, and she quickly used her arm to wipe them away when she realised it. “Aiya, only at this time am I grateful that my eyesight is poor, or it would be unbearable to see these peoples’ wounds.”

Hua Tuo laughed bitterly, and I could feel her deep sense of helplessness as a doctor who could not heal her patients.

“Xuan De, you’re here… Where are the rest?”

“Un? It’s Meng De… Ah.” I stopped short because I saw 2 clear streaks of tears on Meng De’s alabaster face… Maa, I won’t ask about that. “I let the others go and check if there’s anyone trapped.”

“Even though you know you probably can’t save anyone, you still sent people anyway… Huh? As I expected, we are quite similar.” Meng De smiled confidently, though I can’t tell if she is faking it.

“You let your people go and search for survivors as well?”

“Why not? In this gargantuan city Luoyang, there should still be survivors out there who need help. Though we may not save anyone, we should probably be able to save someone.”

“Maa, that is true… Un? Isn’t that uncle Sun Jian?”

Uncle Sun Jian was walking hurriedly towards Yuan Shao’s tent, not even bothering to wipe off the ash covering his face.

“Hahaha, look at you…”

Not long after he entered the tent, young mistress Yuan Shao’s condescending laughter could be heard.

What sort of att.i.tude was that.

“… Xuan De, let’s go listen to what they’re saying.” Meng De said after pondering for a moment and then pulled me toward the tent by the arm.

“Eh? What’s there to listen about?”

Could it be that Meng De has a bad habit of watching people get made fun of?

“No… I just feel that Sun Jian seems a bit suspicious.” Meng De walked over to the side of the tent and pressed her ear to the surface. “I just hope I’m thinking too much.”

And the moment I pressed my ear to the tent–

“Returning to your hometown because of an illness?” Young mistress Yuan Shao’s voice rang out.

Uncle Sun Jian is leaving? … Now I remember, in history he left because–

“Un, recently I’ve been constantly tired out, and I really want to return to my daughters.”

“Alright, you can leave… But as the coalition leader, I will have you leave behind the jade seal you found.”

Jade seal… As expected, Sun Jian found the Imperial Jade Seal while he was putting out the fire at Luoyang when he went on ahead of us.

“What?!! How, how did you know!”

“Of course someone told me… Alright, hand it over quick.”

“No way, this is the only loot I’ve gotten from this campaign! I’ve already decided to gift it to my daughter when I get back home!!”

… Though it really doesn’t matter to me, why is the Imperial Jade Seal being casually treated as a toy?

“A gift for your daughter! How wasteful can you be huh!!”

That’s right, young mistress Yuan Shao, please explain it well and good to uncle Sun Jian.

“Let me tell you! That is the Imperial Jade Seal, the jade used to make it should be priceless. Instead of giving it to your daughter and recklessly wasting a gift from the G.o.ds, why don’t you let me extract some value from it and make some jade bracelets and rings from the jade material.”

You’re recklessly wasting G.o.d’s gift as well!!

“A, anyway I’ve already decided it, no need for anymore words! We’ll see who dares to stop me!”

“… Hmph, we’ll see how it goes then.”

Uncle Sun Jian started stomping out the moment he delivered his angry words… Sounds like he is coming out now.

“Xuan De, let’s go.” Meng De pulled me to the front of the tent where Sun Jian was mounting his horse. “Wen Tai, you’re roo hasty. You could have hid the jade seal first and then leave after everything had pa.s.sed~~~”

(TL: Wen Tai is Sun Jian’s courtesy name.)

“Un? You heard it all? Maa, forget it… Your words make sense but I’m concerned that something might happen with so many feudal lords around.” Uncle Sun Jian broke into a smile as he finished. “Maa, whatever the case, at least I have a souvenir for my daughter when I get back.”

Looks like he really is planning to give it to his daughter…

Sun Jian got ready to leave the moment he finished but I hurriedly stopped him.

“Un? Is there anything Lord Liu Bei?”

“… Umm, though I have no basis for this, I think uncle Sun Jian… No, Lord Sun Jian should not go through Liu Biao’s territory on your way home.”

“Un?” Sun Jian was surprised when he heard me but he broke into a smile as he said, “I know very well what kind of person Liu Biao is. Besides self-preservation, he doesn’t care about anything else. So he won’t do anything to me!”

I had more to say but Sun Jian had already rode off into the distance upon finishing what he had to say.

… I just hope it goes as he says…

“But now that Sun Jian, the only one who knows how to lead the shock troops is gone, what do we do?” I said as I looked at the by now far off uncle Sun Jian.

These words were directed to both myself and Meng De as I felt she had already predicted and planned for this.

“What to do?” Meng De turned to me and gave a truly bitter smile as she said, “Do nothing.”

“Eh?”

Meng De did not explain any further and entered Yuan Shao’s tent.

“Based on a reliable source this time, we know that Dong Zhuo is dead already!” On the same noght, Yuan Shao gathered the feudal lords and said these farcical words. “This is all thanks to the hard work of everyone here. As for Chang’an, we can leave them be as they will probably destroy themselves. Alrighht, have a good night’s rest and tomorrow we can be all on our way home.”

As soon as she finished, the feudal lords could be seen to be br.i.m.m.i.n.g with joy. From the very beginning till now, this was the first time they were all in such a good mood. Though they had not attained much in this campaign, finally being able to go home at this point was perhaps a great blessing.

And yet they did not know, that Dong Zhuo was long dead, and that this tenuous coalition had long lost its reason for existence.

“Xuan De, did you hear. Yuan Shao said we can go home already!” Gongsun Zan happily repeated this ‘great news’ that everyone already knew as she tugged on my sleeve.

“Ah, that really is great.” I was too lazy to say much, nor was there any value in doing so anyway.

“Everyone, I would like to say a few words.” Just then, everyone became silent while Meng De smiiled as she stood up and raised her wine cup. “From the very beginning, it was my intention to rid our nation of a traitor when I issued a call to arms. And so, I, and the Imperial Court, am both grateful for everyone who was driven to answer my call by your loyalty to the Imperial Court. But truly, the one who has been the most instrumental to our success is not me, but our coalition leader Yuan Shao Yuan Ben Chu.”

“Eh? … Maa, i, it’s what I should do anyway.” Yuan Shao stammered in response.

“Ben Chu is too humble.” Meng De followed up after Yuan Shao and continued. “Now Dong Zhuo is dead. Of course, this result is not independent of everyone’s hard work. We have gathered from all corners of the country for the sake of ridding Dong Zhuo together… At the start, the words ‘Dong Zhuo is dead’ were on the walls of Sishui Pa.s.s. We thought it was a scheme then… Why? Because we had not attained what we had set out to achieve–”

When they heard this, quite a few feudal lords lowered their heads in guilt as they felt that they had been thoroughly read.

“What we want– Is not something as simple as Dong Zhuo’s death. We want a stable Imperial Court and a peaceful nation.” … Meng De stopped to catch her breath, “Am I right to say this, everyone?”

This time, everyone seemed relieved that their ugly ulterior motives were not seen through and smiled as they went ‘right, right.’

“… Maa forget it, I said a bit too much but let me finish this with a toast! Everyone, please!” Meng De raised her head and downed her cup in one go as soon as she finished.

I followed suit as well and raised my cup… Ha~~~~ This liquor was strong enough, unlike the one I had in Zhuo commandery.

The majority however, left their cups untouched and just sat where they were motionlessly.

“Ha~~~~… I’m a little tipsy and will be excusing myself first.” After finishing her drink alone, Meng De exited the tent.

Meng De had left, but there was no cheer whatsoever in the tent.

“… Maa, maa, it’s not getting any earlier so let’s head off to bed.” Yuan Shao gave a few dry laughs and dispersed the feudal lords on seeing the awkward atmosphere.

I exited the tent and looked for Meng De, who was already preparing to leave.

“Meng De, you’re…”

“There are still the remnants of Dong Zhuo’s forces in Chang’an so I’m bringing my own troops to save the Son of Heaven.” Meng De said as she mounted her horse.

“… You persuaded Yuan Shao to break up the coalition when you went to find her.”

“Un, there’s no way the Son of Heaven can be saved with the feudal lords who will only hold me back .” Meng De said mercilessly. “In any case, farewell. I believe we will meet again.”

I looked at Meng De and I saw that her usually confident smile was slightly diminished.

“Maa, I think so too.”

Meng De merely chuckled in reply before she rode off and brought her own troops, which weren’t all that many, out of the west gate, in the direction of Chang’an.

By the time we woke up the next day, most of the feudal lords had already left. Though it’s natural that n.o.body would want to stay for long.

Gongsun Zan had offered to let me go with her earlier. Though it was a good idea, I still felt that You state was a little far and had no choice but to part with Gongsun Zan.

As they left. Zi Long was muttering things like ‘Ahh~~~ What a waste, if only it were Lord Xuan De’ or ‘My lord, please learn from him’ and so on… Which made me feel that Gongsun Zan was really pitiful.

The person herself on the other seemed unperturbed by this and was still happily calling out to me as she left, “Bye bye~~~ My childhood friend~~~~”

… Maa, she is a naturally big hearted person, to the point where she can accept everything that comes.

And so we began to pack and get ready to leave thereafter.

“Lord Xuan De, we’re almost done.” Feng Xian walked over as she pulled the Red Hare along with her injured arm.

“Un, I got it… Eh? You haven’t left?” I asked.

“Eh? Leave… Why?” She seemed surprised at my question.

“What I meant was, you don’t need to follow me anymore.” I calmly explained. “The coalition is no more and the trainwreck is over. The shadows cast by Ding Yuan and Dong Zhuo’s deaths should have dissipated by now and you can follow your own raison d’être from now on.”

Though our time together was short, I keenly understood that Feng Xian was different from the Lu Bu Lu Feng Xian I knew before. Feng Xian enjoyed a good fight but she also loved peace, and was an upright person; she was brave and fierce in combat but also had a cute side to her.

Even though this is just me saying it, I am more than willing to acknowledge her as the real Lu Bu.

“What is Lord Xuan De saying? Isn’t my raison d’être right here?” Feng Xian said as a matter of factly, upon which Zhang Liao smiled from behind. “Moreover, Zhang Liao has been speaking of a lot of good things about Lord Xuan De recently.”

“Eh? … But.” I was at a loss as to what to do on hearing Feng Xian’s words.

“As for myself, I too feel that staying with Lord Xuan De is better, that I can truly see the world for what it is as long as I’m at Lord Xuan De’s side.”

Feng Xian said as she looked straight at me with resolute eyes. Although I really cannot meet the glance of such a beautiful girl head on.

…. Hai, they really think too highly of me.

“Maa, since you’re willing to follow me, I don’t have any objections.”

“… Many thanks, Lord Xuan De.” Feng Xian said. Upon finishing she prepared to kneel down but I quickly rushed forward to stop her.

“Eh eh eh! Don’t need to be so formal about it…” The one who should be grateful is me.

“And so Lord Xuan De is now my lord’s lord.” Zhang Liao seemed to be very happy as well. “From now on, I’ll have lots of time to chat with my bosom friend.”

Bosom friend? Yun Chang?

“My bosom friend, I must say, your lord has indeed made the right choice.” Yun Chang nodded with a look of satisfaction as she spoke to Zhang Liao. “Big brother may not have much of a name now but I’m sure he will achieve great things in the times to come.”

… What’s with this pressure?

“And so, we now formally have another 2 members huh?” Yi De said as she counted with her fingers.

“Eh? Eh? Which 2? Is it Lord Pan Feng and Lord Han Fu?” Hua Tuo squinted and looked about.

“It’s a good thing they’re gone.”

If those 2 joined us, that would be bad.

But speaking of members, members of what? … Maa, never mind, if I ask, they’ll probably tell me a bunch of incomprehensible things.

(TL: Your harem duh. Yun Chang even brainwashed Zhang Liao so all you neeeded to do was to focus on Feng Xian.)

Seeing them happily discussing away, I took out the feather fan.

Before I knew it, it had been a while since I’ve been here but I still have no clue on how to go back home…

Maa, I’ll leave future matters to the future. As I said at the very beginning, now is not yet the time for me to stop.

“Alright, let us get going.” I said as I kept the feather fan and clapped to get their attention.

And Yi De, Yun Chang, Hua Tuo (Zhang Jue), Feng Xian, Zhang Liao looked at each other before laughing and facing me with a helpless smile–

“Go where?!~~~~~”

Haha, what a recurrent problem.

I too was infected by their laughter and smiled as I gave the reply I always did.

“Who knows?! Walk first think later!”