Don"t Turn from Summer (莫负寒夏) by Ding Mo (丁墨)
Chapter 19
The day Mu Hanxia goes to resign is an overcast day. The gray clouds are piling in the sky like the pushing waves stacked together. When she walks by the office area, the atmosphere is also dim and subtle. Some are looking at her, some are exchanging looks with each other.
She ignores all of them and keeps a calm look. When she encounters someone on her way, she gives a polite and humble smile as usual.
Finally she gets to Meng Gang’s office. Only his signature is needed as the final step of her resignation.
Meng Gang is sitting in the coach reading the doc.u.ments with a cigarette between his lips. Seeing her, he quietly puts down his work.
Mu Hanxia says, “Manager Meng, this is my application for resignation. Please sign it.”
Meng Gang takes it over with a calm look. He takes up the pen and signs his name on the last page, but doesn’t pa.s.s it back to her immediately. Instead, he says, “Takes a seat, let’s talk a little more.”
Mu Hanxia always has complicated feelings before him. She doesn’t really want to have more words with him, but on some indescribable impulse, she sits down. Hands clasped together on her lap, she looks at him calmly.
Meng Gang takes up the cup, has a sip of tea, and says, “Remorseful?”
“Regretful, but not remorseful.”
Meng Gang smiles slightly and says, “Mu Hanxia, you should understand, many goals of our life can not be achieved merely by hard work. You will need help from others, need to say what you don’t want to say, and need to bend your head when necessary, in exchange of some things. You are smart, the smartest one I’ve ever seen all these years among store a.s.sistants. But you’re just an a.s.sistant after all. Do you know that when you leave Le Ya, leave the nest that I’ve protected so well for you, and gets out there, you will have to work much harder than others, and bend yourself much more to possibly become as successful as others?”
Mu Hanxia says nothing.
Meng Gang takes a puff at his cigarette. The smoke slowly drifts to her face. Does he do it intentionally or inadvertently, out of slight or reluctance to let go? It’s unknown.
“You need to be more selfish and more willing to give yourself up. You are shrewd but not sn.o.bbish enough. If you don’t change it, you will be used by others again in the future and will have bigger stumbles.”
“Manager Meng,” Mu Hanxia says slowly, “If the condition to get above people in this society is to live in a so messed-up manner that one can’t even recognize oneself, I would rather stay poor and be myself. But I don’t think it’s like this, at least not always. There must be a lot of people out there who are like me. There must be somewhere that one can live well based on one’s talent and diligence. When that day comes, will you envy me?”
Meng Gang can’t hold back his laugh. He laughs at the naivety and indomitable spirit in her words.
“No,” He says, “this rule works anywhere.”
Mu Hanxia also gives a smile, takes the resignation doc.u.ment from the desk and turns to the door.
“If...” He suddenly asks behind her back, “In the future someone asks for the same thing from you as I did, with a higher price, high enough to bring you success, as well as to destroy you, will you really refuse?”
Mu Hanxia is quiet for a moment, and answers, “I will never accept.”
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The next morning, Mu Hanxia says goodbye to He Jing.
He Jing has come to her home in the ghetto, helping her pack up with reddish eyes.
“These few stuff is all you have?” He Jing pats on her backpack.
“Yeah.” Mu Hanxia answers, “It’s not like I’m not coming back. Why should I take so much along.”
He Jing feels a pang of sadness in her heart and wants to find fault with other things, so she says fiercely, “It’s all Lin Mochen’s fault! So sly, so cruel! You looked at him as a friend and he turns around and robs you of the lychees, selling them at 5 yuan a pound at Yong Zheng. Now Yong Zheng is enjoying a complete victory and Le Ya is totally beaten. But I see that even Meng Gang isn’t affected and is still sitting in his store manager’s seat. Only you will be gone, be gone!”
Mu Hanxia is lost in thought for a moment, but then she says, “Actually in the first few days, I also had gripes against Lin Mochen. But when I calmed down, I didn’t think too badly of it. Standing in his shoes, what’s wrong with his doing that? If it was me, I might have done the same. It’s me myself... who did not separate the professional stuff from the personal. And, you have nothing to be mad at for me at all. Whether the lychee business succeeds or not, I will leave Le Ya all the same. Would I want to see Meng Gang every day?”
He Jing mumbles, “That’s right though. Xia, where do yo plan to go explore next?”
Mu Hanxia puts on a brilliant smile at the words, puts her arms around her shoulder, and says, “Why would I make thing hard for myself? Meng Gang gave me a few months’ extra salary, and I plan to first go vacation for some time and then think about the next step. Hey, we haven’t had nice vacations during the last few years. Say, don’t you envy me?”
He Jing gives her a flick on the forehead as usual. The worries on her face have dispersed, and she smiles, “Yes, yes, yes. I knew you’ve been longing to go have some fun and I envy you so much. Be careful on the trip, don’t get swindled or abducted.”
“Yes, I will remember that.”
After a moment, He Jing says again, “Xia, I actually believe you should go explore the outside world. You should not live like this, like me. You deserve a better life.”
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All is settled. Lin Mochen also takes his leave from Jiang Cheng, by air on a misty morning.
Cheng Weiwei is fully recovered and takes over the fully thriving Yong Zheng from him. She sends him to the airport.
“Thank you, school brother [1].” Cheng Weiwei smiles delicately, “I go to Beiing quite often. You won’t mind me bothering you sometimes, will you?”
[1: The way Cheng addresses Lin here is typically Chinese. In old times, the word literally means the older ones among the apprentices who follow the same master. Nowadays, as in this novel, it more commonly means a fellow student in the same major at the same school who begins earlier than oneself. A strict word-for-word translation could be ‘big brother in study.’ But it sounds very odd to me here. So I change it to ‘school brother.’ I also don’t want to change it to his name or other unrelated words as other translators did in earlier chapters, because I think here it is used by Cheng particularly to emphasize their special relationship.]
Lin Mochen has only a small briefcase with him. With the sungla.s.ses on his eyes, he smiles lightly, “Why will I? You are a major client of Feng Chen in the future. Welcome to visit often.”
Cheng Weiwei smiles with satisfaction. They stand at the entrance of the security checkpoint, people coming and going all around them and the marble floor smooth, shiny and cool. A thought suddenly pops up in her mind -- will Lin Mochen give her a hug out of politeness?
But he just nods slightly to her and turns to enter the checkpoint without a bit of hesitation.
Cheng Weiwei gazes on until he disappears from her vision. Outside the window, the planes are leaving and landing. She thinks, the battle at Yong Zheng may just be a casual stroke made in Jiang Cheng by such a man as Lin Mochen. In Beijing, his company of Feng Chen, his enterprise in China, is just taking off.
Lin Mochen takes a short nap on the flight and suddenly wakes up. He looks out of the narrow window and sees the piling clouds and the tiny constructions on the ground. All of a suddenly, he thinks of Mu Hanxia.
Since that day, they haven’t contacted each other. He heard that she has resigned from Le Ya and has left Jiang Cheng.
An att.i.tude of bidding farewell to everything and being through with him.
At this thought, the corner of his mouth shows a little trace of cool smile.
As soon as the plane lands, he takes out his cellphone, holds it in his hand for a moment, and finds her number.
“Come to Beijing, my company. Be my marketing manager.”
But after a long time, till he has returned to his home in Beijing, the cellphone has been quiet. She hasn’t replied.
Lin Mochen is suddenly a little angry. He throws the cellphone on the couch and checks it no more.
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A month later.
Lin Mochen’s company is located in a splendid office building at the International Trade Center in Beijing. The company isn’t big yet, and the employees are not many, only a little more than twenty. The rented office s.p.a.ce is only a little over 200 square meters, but is furnished delicately and luxuriously. The face of the company, it has to be very beautiful.
In the afternoon, Lin Mochen is drinking coffee in his office. The many plans of the company are being pushed forward. But it’s not time to lay everything out yet. So he is still quite at leisure.
The secretary knocks on the door and walks in, with a puzzled look on her face: “Chief Lin, someone is here for an interview.”
Lin Mochen says coolly, “When did I want new hires?”
The secretary’s expression is even more puzzled, “But Chief Lin, she said you asked her to come.”
Lin Mochen is surprised momentarily and suddenly smiles, “Let her wait in the reception room.”
Mu Hanxia didn’t know that Lin Mochen would let her wait for three hours. Only when the sun is setting and the rosy color tints up the whole reception room, does the pretty and elegant secretary come back into the room and says, “I’m sorry, Miss Mu. Chief Lin has been busy and hasn’t got any free time until now. Please come with me.”
Even though Mu Hanxia gets a little restless with the wait and doubts whether Lin Mochen has left her in the cold on purpose, she swallows it up and follows the secretary to his office.
Some employees look up at them and Mu Hanxia feels her heart beats faster. In the lingering light of the setting sun, he is in a white shirt and suit pants. The tie is neatly in place. He is reading doc.u.ments at his big-boss office desk.
The secretary goes out and closes the door. It is very quiet in the room. He doesn’t look up at all. Mu Hanxia opens her mouth: “Lin Mochen.”
He then puts down the doc.u.ments, leans slowly back into his chair, and looks up at her.
“Why are you here?” He asks with a half smile.
Mu Hanxia suddenly realizes that he is mad and knows why he is mad. For some reason, she doesn’t feel angry or embarra.s.sed. Instead, she feels a warm tranquil in her heart, just like the twilight surrounding them. She doesn’t in the least mind the stab he gave her in the back. After so much time, those things seem so distant as if they were from the past life to her. She understands him, just like she understands herself.
So, she gives him a smile, and answers evenly, “I’m here to be your marketing manager.”
Lin Mochen gazes at her quietly. Her face looks darker, which must be tanned during these days. Her slick long hair is tied up and coiled into a bun on the back of her head, making her look neat and efficient. She has put on an office dress suit with knee-high skirt. The thin high heels stand steadily but not slackly on the floor. She looks into his eyes with the clear and bright eyes of hers. But in the depth of her dark pupils, there’s a little uncertainty, a little delicate timidness and antic.i.p.ation.
Jusk like a layer of extremely thin paper, seemingly smooth and straight, will rip with the slightest touch.
Lin Mochen replies lightly, “OK.”
Later, Lin Mochen always remembers this afternoon. He has seen too many pitiful people, pleading people. But for the first time in his life, at the look of this woman’s eye in that instant, his heart becomes so tender, like the fine sands falling.
---- The end of Volume I ----