The excitement and ardour had done their work with her; this succeeding mood, or manner (for he had lost all distinction between what he felt and what he made himself seem to feel), had its place, and was well calculated to complete his victory.
"I will send you my answer to-night," she said.
"It means all that I am--everything in the world to me. Remember that."
And he urged her no more, leaving with her these simple sincere-sounding words to plead for him.
That was what the answer meant to him. What would it mean to Grantley Imason? She asked herself that as she sat silent opposite to him at dinner. It chanced that they were alone, though of late she had schemed to avoid that. And to-night she could not speak to him, could say nothing at all, though his raised brows and satirical glance challenged her. Things might be uncomfortable, but why lose either your tongue or your manners, Grantley seemed to ask. You might have a grievance (Oh, real or imaginary, as you please!) against your husband, but why not converse on topics of the day with the gentleman at the other end of the table? He seemed to be able to do his part without any effort, without any difficulty to avoid open war, and yet never to commit himself to any proposition for peace. All through the years, thought Sibylla, he would go on suavely discussing the topics of the day, while life went by, and love and joy and all fair things withered from the face of the earth.
The servants disappeared, and Grantley"s talk became less for public purposes.
"I wonder how old John has got on with Harriet Courtland!" he said in an amused way. "He was uncommonly plucky to face her. But, upon my word, the best thing from some points of view would be for him to fail. At least it would be the best if old Tom wasn"t such a fool. But as soon as Tom sees a chance of getting rid of one woman, he saddles himself with another."
"Could he have got rid of Lady Harriet?"
"They might have arranged a separation. As it is, there"ll be an open row, I"m afraid."
"Still if it puts an end to what"s intolerable----?" she suggested, as she watched him drinking his coffee and smoking his cigarette with his delicate satisfaction in all things that were good.
"A very unpleasant way out," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Would you have endured what Mr. Courtland couldn"t?"
He smiled across at her; the sarcastic note was strong in his voice as he asked:
"Do you think me an impatient man? Do you think I"ve no power of enduring what I don"t like, Sibylla?"
She flushed a little under his look.
"It"s true," he went on, "that I endure vulgarity worst of all; and Harriet Courtland"s tantrums are very vulgar, as all tantrums are."
"Only tantrums? Aren"t all emotions, all feelings, rather vulgar, Grantley?"
He thought a smile answer enough for that. It is no good arguing against absurd insinuations, or trying to show them up. Let them alone; in time they will die of their own absurdity.
"Grantley, would you rather I went away? Don"t you find life unendurable like this?"
"I don"t find it pleasant," he smiled; "but I would certainly rather you didn"t go away. If you want a change for a few weeks, I"ll endeavour to resign myself."
"I mean, go away altogether."
"No, no, I"m sure you don"t mean anything so---- Forgive me, Sibylla, but now and then your suggestions are hard to describe with perfect courtesy."
She looked at him in a wondering way, but made no answer; and he too was silent for a minute.
"I think it would be a good thing," he went on, "if you and Frank betook yourselves to Milldean for a few weeks. I"m so busy that I can see very little of you here, and country air is good for nerves."
"Very well, we"ll go in a day or two. You"ll stay here?"
"Yes, I must. I"ll try to get down now and then, and bring some cheerful people with me. Blake will come sometimes, I daresay. Jeremy won"t till he"s rich and famous, I"m afraid."
In spite of herself, it flashed across her that he was making her path very easy. And she wondered at the way he spoke of Blake, at his utter absence of suspicion. Her conscience moved a little at this.
"Yes, I"m sure you"ll be better at Milldean," he went on; "and--and try to think things over while you"re there."
It was his old att.i.tude. He had nothing to think over--that task was all for her. The old resentment overcame her momentary shame at deceiving him.
"Are they so pleasant that I want to think them over?"
"I think you know what I mean; and in this connection I don"t appreciate repartee for its own sake," said Grantley wearily, but with a polite smile.
A sudden impulse came upon her. She leant across towards him and said:
"Grantley, have you seen Frank to-day?"
"No, I haven"t to-day."
"I generally go and sit by him for a little while at this time when I"m free. Did you know that?"
"I gathered it," said Grantley.
"You"ve never come with me, nor offered to."
"I"m not encouraged to volunteer things in my relations with you, Sibylla."
"Will you come with me now?" she asked.
She herself could not tell under what impulse she spoke--whether it were in hope that at the last he might change, in the hope of convincing herself that he would never change. She watched him very intently, as though much hung on the answer that he gave.
Grantley seemed to weigh his answer too, looking at his wife with searching eyes. There was a patch of red on his cheeks. Evidently what she had said stirred him, and his composure was maintained only by an effort. At last he spoke:
"I"m sorry not to do anything you ask or wish, but as matters are, I will not come and see Frank with you."
"Why not?" she asked in a quick half-whisper.
His eyes were very sombre as he answered her.
"When you remember that you"re my wife, I"ll remember that you"re the mother of my son. Till then you are an honoured and welcome guest in this house or in any house of mine."
Their eyes met; both were defiant, neither showed a hint of yielding.
Sibylla drew in her breath in a long inhalation.
"Very well, I understand," she said.
He rose from his chair.
"You"re going upstairs now?" he suggested, as though about to open the door.
"I"m going, but I"m not going upstairs to-night," she answered as she rose. "I shall go and write a letter or two instead."