CHAPTER XX
THE HOUR OF WRATH
As soon as the first shot was fired, Tom Courtland struck his flag.
There was no fight in him. His career was compromised, and by now his affairs were seriously involved. He resigned his seat; he wasn"t going to wait to be turned out, he said, either by divorce or by bankruptcy, or by both at once. He never went home now. As a last concession to appearances, he took a room at his club. Mrs. Bolton now urged him to fight--since things had gone so far. Of course he would have to tell lies! But there were circ.u.mstances in which everybody told lies! She was ready to back him through thick and thin. If they could get Lady Harriet into the box and cross-examine her thoroughly, they could rely on a great deal of sympathy from a jury of husbands. It was really a good fighting case--given the lies, of course. She urged fighting, which was unselfish of her from one point of view, since an undefended case would do her little real harm, while a cross-examination in open Court could not be a pleasant ordeal for her, any more than it ought to be for Harriet Courtland. But she liked Tom--although incurable habit had caused her to make his affairs so involved--and she hated that Harriet should "have a walk over." She was angry with Tom because he gave in directly, and took it all "lying down," as she said. But Tom was broken; he could only mutter that he did not "care a d.a.m.n" what they did; it was all over for him. His bristly hair began to turn a dull grey in these troublesome days. When he was not with Mrs. Bolton he was haunting the streets and parks, hoping he might meet his girls taking their walk with the maid or with Suzette Bligh. Such stray encounters were his only chance of ever seeing them now--the only chance of ever seeing them in the future, he supposed, unless the Court gave him "access." And much pleasure there would be in access, with Harriet to tell them the sort of man he was before every such visit as the law might charingly dole out to him! He grumbled disconsolately about everything--the suit, his affairs, his children, the access, all of it--to Mrs. Bolton; but he did and tried to do nothing. He was in a condition of moral collapse.
Harriet Courtland"s state was even worse. She was almost unapproachable by the children and Suzette Bligh--and none other tried to approach her.
She had no friends left. Not one of Tom"s set was on her side; she had wearied them all out. The last to keep up the forms of friendship was Christine Fanshaw. Now that was at an end too. She had heard nothing from Christine. From the day of John"s visit there had been absolute silence. She knew well what that meant. She brooded fiercely over what she had done to Christine--her one remaining friend--had done not because she wanted to hurt Christine or to lose her friendship, had done with no reasonable motive at all, but just in blind rage, because in her fury she wanted to strike and wound John, and this had been the readiest and sharpest weapon. She could not get what she had done out of her head; she was driven to see what a light it cast on the history of her own home; it showed her the sort of woman she was. But she held on her way, and pressed on her suit. Realising what she was bred in her no desire to change. There was no changing such a woman as she was--a cursed woman, as she called herself again and again. So there she sat, alone in her room, save when her nervous children came perforce to cower before her--alone with the ruin she had made, in bitter wrath with all about her, in bitterest wrath with herself. She was a terror in the house, and knew it. n.o.body in the house loved her now--nay, n.o.body in the world. It had come to this because of her evil rage. And the rage was not satiated; it had an appet.i.te still for every misfortune and every shame which was to afflict and disgrace her husband. In that lay now her only pleasure; her sole joy was to give pain. Yet the thought that her girls had ceased to love her, or had come to hate her, drove her to a frenzy of anger and wretchedness. What had they to complain of?
How dared they not love her! She exacted signs of love from them. They dared not refuse a kiss for fear of a blow being given in its place; but Harriet knew now why they kissed her and accepted her kisses. "Little hypocrites!" she would mutter when they went out, accusing the work of her own hands. But they should love her--aye, and they should hate their father. She swore they should at least hate their father, even if they only pretended to love her. The woman grew half mad at the idea that in their hearts they loved their father, pitied him, thought him ill-used, grieved because he came no more; that they were in their hearts on their father"s side and against her. She wished they were older, so that they could be told all about the case. Well, they should be told even now, if need be, if that proved the only way of rooting the love of their father out of their hearts.
An evil case for these poor children! They had no comfort save in gentle colourless Suzette Bligh. To all her friends she had seemed a superfluous person. She used to be invited just to balance dinner-parties, or on a stray impulse of kindness. But fate had found other work for her now. The once useless superfluous woman was all the consolation these three children had; any love they got she gave them.
She stood between them and desolation. She warned them what temper their mother was in, whether it were safe to approach her, and with what demeanour. More than once her love gave the meek creature courage, and she stood between them and wrath. Lamentable as the state of affairs was, Suzette had found a new joy in life. She took these children into her life and her heart, and became as a mother to them. Gradually they grew to love her.
But none the less--perhaps all the more--they tormented her, bringing to her all the doubts and questions which were rife in their minds. The portentous word "divorce" had come to their ears--Harriet was not careful in her use of it. They connected it quickly with their father"s now continuous absence. Whatever else it might mean--and they thought it meant something bad for their father, to be suffered at the hands of their mother--they understood it at least to mean that he would be with them no more. Suzette knew nothing at all about "access," and could only fence feebly with their questions; they ventured to put none to Harriet.
They grew clear that their father had gone, and that they were to be left to their mother.
One and all they declined such a conclusion. They loved Tom; they did not love Harriet. Tom had always been a refuge, sometimes a buffer. They had no doubt of what they wanted. They wanted to go to their father, and to take Suzette Bligh with them. That scheme conjured up the vision of a happy home, free from fear, where kisses would be volunteered, not exacted, and the constant dread would be no more.
"But we daren"t tell mamma that," said Sophy, in a tremble at the bare idea.
Lucy shook her head; Vera"s eyes grew wide. They certainly dared not go to Harriet with any such communication as that. They had been shrewd enough to see that they were expected to hate their father: Vera had been roughly turned out of the room merely for mentioning his name.
After much consultation, carried on in a secrecy to which not even Suzette was privy, a plan was laid. They would write to their father and tell him that, whether he were sentenced to divorce or not, they wanted to come and live with him--and to bring Suzette if they might.
"We won"t say anything about mamma. He"ll understand," Sophy observed.
Vera piped out in terror:
"But when mamma finds out?"
"We shall be gone, don"t you see?" cried Lucy. "We shall ask papa to meet us somewhere, and he"ll take us with him, and then just write and tell mamma."
"He can say we"re sorry when he writes to tell mamma."
"Oh, yes, I see," said Vera. "It will be splendid, won"t it? I wish we could tell Suzette!"
The elder girls were dead against that. Suzette was a dear, but she was too much afraid of mamma; the great secret would not be safe with her, and if it were discovered before they were out of reach--significant nods expressed that situation with absolute lucidity.
So Sophy--who wrote the best hand--squared her elbows and sat down to her task in the schoolroom. A scout was posted at the foot of the stairs, another at the top. On the least alarm the letter was to be destroyed, and the scribe would be discovered busy on a French exercise.
"DEAREST PAPA," Sophy wrote,--
"We all send our love, and, please, we do not want to stay here now that you have gone away. Please let us come and live with you. We promise not to be troublesome, and Suzette might come too, might not she, and look after us? Dearest papa, do not make us stay here.
Because we love you, and we want to come and live with you. Please tell us where to meet you, and we will make Suzette bring us, and you can take us home with you. Please let it be soon. We do so want to see you. Please do not make us stay here. We each of us send you a kiss, and are your loving daughters."
The signatures were attached, the letter closed and addressed to Tom"s club; they knew where that was, because he had taken them to see it one Sunday morning, and they had admired the great armchairs and all the wonderful big books. The same afternoon Lucy broke away from Suzette, ran across to a pillar post, and dropped the important missive in. She came back with an air of devil-may-care triumph, nodding at her sisters, frankly refusing to tell Suzette anything about it.
"You"ll see very soon," she promised in mysterious triumph, and that evening the three had a wonderful talk over the letter, speaking in low cautious tones, agreeing that their manner must be carefully guarded, that meekness and affection towards their mother must be the order of the day, and that one of them must always be on the watch for the postman"s coming, lest by chance Tom"s answer should fall into the hands of the enemy.
"Would she open it?" shuddered Vera.
"I expect she would," said Sophy.
They saw the danger, and the hours were anxious. But they tasted some of the delights of conspiracy too. And hope was on the horizon. One more "row" could be endured if after that the doors were open to freedom.
Tom"s heart was touched by the little scrawl, written on a sheet torn from a copybook. In his broken-down state he was inclined to be maudlin over it. He carried it to Mrs. Bolton, and showed it to her, saying that he could not be such a bad chap after all if the little ones loved him like that, pitying them because they were exposed to Harriet"s tempers, bewailing his own inability to help them, or to comply with their artless request.
"I shouldn"t be allowed to keep them," he said ruefully, trying to smooth his bristly hair.
Mrs. Bolton made a show of sympathy, and was in fact sorry for him; but she did not encourage any idea of trying to take or keep them. He suggested smuggling them out of the jurisdiction. She was firm, if kindly, in asking how he meant to support them. Anyhow Lady Harriet could feed them! Tom was very much under her influence, and had no longer the strength of will needed for any venturous plan. The conclusion that he could do nothing was not long in coming home to him.
"But I must write to the poor little things," he said, "and tell them I shall come and see them sometimes. That"ll comfort them. I"m glad they"re so fond of me. By Jove, I haven"t been a bad father, you know!"
He read Sophy"s letter over again and laid it down on Mrs. Bolton"s mantelpiece; when he went back to the club he forgot it and left it there.
There Mrs. Bolton"s friend, Miss Pattie Henderson (she was not married to Georgie Parmenter yet--negotiations were pending with his family), found it, and it was from her that a suggestion came which appealed strongly to Mrs. Bolton. As she drank her gla.s.s of port, Miss Henderson opined that it would be "a rare score" to send the letter to Harriet Courtland. "It"ll make her properly furious," said Miss Pattie, finishing her port with hearty enjoyment.
Mrs. Bolton caught at the notion. Harriet was putting her to a great deal of annoyance, and so was Tom"s refusal to stand up to Harriet. It was meet and right that any person who was in a position to give Harriet a dig should give it. Neither of them thought of what might be entailed on the little folk who had dared to send the letter; in the end they had a very inadequate idea of the terror Harriet inspired. Mrs. Bolton laughed as she contemplated the plan.
"Just stick in a word or two of your own," Miss Pattie advised.
"Something spicy!"
Mrs. Bolton at once thought of several spicy little comments which would add point to Sophy"s letter. One was so spicy, so altogether satisfying to Mrs. Bolton"s soul, and to Miss Pattie Henderson"s critical taste, that it was irresistible. It--and Sophy"s letter--were posted to Harriet before lunch that day; and Mrs. Bolton"s eyes were only opened at all to what she had done when she told Caylesham (who had dropped in in the afternoon), and heard him exclaim:
"But, by Jove, she"ll take it out of those unhappy children, you know! I say, you don"t know Harriet Courtland, or you"d never have done that!"
His concern seemed so great that Mrs. Bolton"s heart was troubled. If she did not upbraid herself, at any rate she denounced Miss Henderson.
But what was to be done? Nothing could be done. By now the letter must be almost in Harriet Courtland"s hands. Caylesham said a few plain words about the matter, but his words could not help now. They had, however, one effect. They made Mrs. Bolton afraid to let Tom know what she had done: and she persuaded Caylesham not to betray her. When Tom next came she told him that she had accidentally burnt Sophy"s letter in mistake for one of her own.
"Well, I"ve sent them an answer, poor little beggars--under cover to Suzette Bligh," said Tom. "But I"m sorry. I should have liked to keep that letter of theirs, Flora."
"I know. Of course you would. I"m sorry," said Mrs. Bolton, now feeling very uncomfortable, although she had not lost her pleasure at the idea of giving Harriet such a fine dig.
Tom"s letter reached its destination first, and Suzette read it to the little girls. It was a kind and a good letter. He told them to behave well towards their mother, and to love her. He said he was obliged to be away from them now, but presently he would see them and hoped to see them very often, and that they were not to forget to go on loving him, because he loved them very much.
Suzette"s voice broke a little over the letter, and the children listened in an intent and rather awed silence. They were divided between relief that an answer had come safely, and depression at what the answer was. But they understood--or thought they did--that if they were good they would presently be allowed to see their father very often.
"That"s what he means, isn"t it?" Lucy asked Suzette.
"Yes, dear, that"s it," Suzette told her, not knowing what else to tell her.
"We"d better burn papa"s letter," Sophy suggested.
There was no difference of opinion about that. Vera was accorded the privilege of putting it in the fire, and of stamping carefully on the ashes afterwards.
"Because," she said, justifying this precaution, "you remember the story where the man was found out just because he didn"t stamp on it after he"d burnt it, Sophy!"