My war with cancerI want to share my story to encourage people , I want to say there is no need to fear with cancer , when you will free from this cancer, it will change your life
It was normal day for me i m the professor in univ, so i went there and did my work, i felt some fever and pain in lower abdomain.then i came back and went to the gyanic. she told me to do sonography,. she saw a tumor and told me to do CT SCAN. After that i came to know that i had a malignant tumor. it was very painful for me to know that i had a overian cancer. one thing i want to say that cancer is a silent killer , because before that day i never felt any symptoms for that. but when you had a mild fever and your eating habits are changed means you do not like to eat anythong, so you should not ignore these things, should go for cancer test like CA -125, it is a tumor marker, it should be less than 35 normally, but C125 was above 1800, i was shocked at that time, actually when cancer is detected your mind does not accept it that now u r cancer patient. I was just crying and felt very close to death. My son was 10 years old and my daughter was just 3 years old . she was my inspiration at that time. i thought i will have to live for her at any cost . whenever i decided to live i felt a lot of hope inside me. we went to Bombay Hospital in Bombay and treatment started by the doctors. the tumor is so big that i cannot sleep and cannot breathe properly. so they decided to remove some fluid from my tumor, i didn"t know how, but i can see there are two empty bottles of 5 liters, and they had a hole in my lower abdomen and attached these bottles with a pipe, after removing this fluid i felt very comfortable
As I laid on the operation table I was in too much pain and very breathless because of my big tumor but suddenly I felt there is no pain , I felt very light, I was in free wander of mind and soul which felt like pure happiness. That was the feeling that words cannot suffice. At the beginning when I didn"t know what it actually was I started to feel like I"ve returned from the mouth of death and thought that dying is sheer joy of pleasure for the soul. It was a delight such that my spirit got free from my body which eventually lasted for 3-4 seconds in the start. Later when I had a conversation with my doctor about it, I came to know that it was nothing but just a brain malfunction which is often termed as hallucinations. Science defines hallucination as a sensory experience of something that does not exist outside the mind. Hallucinations can affect any senses (vision, hearing, smell, taste, and tactile feelings) and bodily sensations.
In medical terms, hallucinations are caused by a variety of factors. These factors include mental illness, the side effects of medications, physical illnesses like epilepsy or alcoholism, anaesthesia, substance and alcohol abuse, prolonged sleep deprivation terminal illnesses, such as brain or other cancer, kidney and liver failure, or AIDS, high fevers, migraine headaches, social isolation, seizures, deafness, blindness, vision problems, stress, bereavement, depression and dementia.
But really still i do not know what was it. Now when i try to think i can feel such full of PURE HAPPINESS and peace. BUT IF IT WAS hallucinations, how can I feel that joy and happiness today. I think nature has so many secrets.Then port was injected just below my neck for chemotherapy
my chemotherapy started but it didnot suit me, i got reaction from that, my body became blue and i was just about to die because of this chemo drugs, whenever i think about that i feel very sad. doctor removed this drug
then she told my husband this drug was not suit your wife , so there is only 10% chances to survive her. my cancer was in 3rd advance stage, then doctors tried another drugs which was weakly injected. It suited me . then I had been admitted in the hospital for two months , eight times this drugs was injected .it was very worst experience, every time you feel like vomiting , bitter taste, don"t like to eat anything very weakness, body pain etc. but one thing I noticed that whenever you think positive, and take this this treatment lightly, and try to remain happy and do your interesting work(full of joy), then the side effects of this chemotherapy is less. After two months my tumor which was about 18 cm shrink surprisingly upto 2 cm. doctor was also surprised to see this. Then they decided to do my surgery. They removed my uterus , ovary, fallopian tubes and scratches the places where the malignant cells present near reproductory system. It was like black day for me . after 20 hours when the effect of anesthesia was decrease, I felt too much pain and told to everyone please give me poison , I do not want to live with this pain , my family was there. My husband cared me a lot, he is police officer , but he never left me alone during this treatment. . doctor injected some pain killer drugs, but I did not get relief.i prayed my G.o.d to save me from that pain. Next day I felt some relief. After surgery I could not move, even I can not sleep by side and so many problems I had to face like every patient face after a major surgery. But it was not the end of my treatment. After one month of surgery they again started CHEMOTHERAPY. I think cancer treatment is very long process, minimum six months for chemo cycle one month surgery and radiation. But this time chemo is intolerable, as my body already become so weak due to surgery. Sometime I was thinking better to die than healing from cancer. But husband always with me, my kids inspire me a lot , they behaved like a mature person. When the chemo was going on , I had to take care of my hygiene very much as I always used mask, n.o.body touched me without clean himself by sanitizer. When my third cycle started (it was weakly, so I had to have one chemo in one weak and after completion of four chemo. One cycle was completed)my hair was almost gone, and I looked very ugly that time. I think every women who is facing cancer has to face this horrible thing. My husband arranged a wig for me, but I didn"t like it and every time I was just weeping as I had a long and beautiful hair. After sometime I was started to use this wig. But it was not so easy to live without hair for a women. Everyone saw me like very bechari(poor guy).i was very weak, did not like to eat any things. With Facing so many problems, my chemo was continued. Many side effects were there like mood swing, bitter taste, depression, body ache, etc. every time in hospital there was a nurse to have something to inject in our body, sometime platelet down, sometime WBC, etc. but one thing that happened is very good that now I was not worried about treatment . at that time I was used to of this treatments. Then finally I have completed 6 cycles. If I calculate it weakly then total 24 cycles were over. Then their was the time of PET CT SCAN. I saw the result that no malignant cell (cancerous) was there in my body. I was very happy and back to my home, then after one month I joined my job , I was in govt job , they provided me 8 months medical leave for that. I was so weak and not able to do my work, but my univ supported me a lot.
After this my life is changed, now I am doing so many social services, like I provide financial support to cancer patient who can not afford treatment, doing counseling and everytime I want to support someone. But this all I am doing with myself. I am not attached with any NGO. I MYSELF FIND PEOPLE WHO CAN NOT AFFORD, I REACH THERE AND PROVIDE CHEMO MEDICINE. I also do counseling of people and also explain the precautions during treatment. I also help the person in depression.
So that"s not the end of my story, its starting