Chapter 26
Dragon, it’s essential to surrender. Do it, bravely.
The beginning of this was, as I was walking in the castle thinking of going back to the room, I noticed that I was the subject of sneaky and secret talks behind my back. At first I thought it was a talk about the n.o.bles’ love affairs that tend to become rumors within the castle. However they sent fluttering*and peeking looks my way*, so as I thought it was weird, I strained my ears, and surely they weren’t talking about such things; the talks where even about me. (T/N: *it sort of rhymes in jp.: CHIRACHIRA to kochira wo chirami s.h.i.tari[…])
[Look, that’s the one from the rumors.]
[Isn’t she still a kid?]
[But she eats humans? I’m afraid.]
[So the truth is she’s a monster?]
[The country will be at peace with this.]
[So the contractor was real?]
[So it can turn into a Dragon? I want to try seeing that]
[How terrifying] (T/N: it says ‘okkanee’, j.a.panese modern form of okkanashi – apparently it means to be afraid. (link in jp for okkanee: here, link for okkanashi (jp): here) )
The moment I heard them, I felt my whole body go cold with dread.
— How was I discovered? …Why!? What happened!
The information network is too fast. The Prince hasn’t come back yet, even though I was planning on having the silencing talk that I forgot to have with him before.
It’s impossible that it was the Captain. There’s absolutely no way that he let others know about this in such a short period of time.
So who the heck did it!!
[Really, that child?]
[Apparently it was written in a carrier pigeon that was sent from the Prince.]
[It said it helped us again.]
[But it’s barbaric.]
Prince was it you!! Though it was me the one who completely forgot to bribe you into silence, don’t write such an important thing in a carrier pigeon!! You are a regrettable Prince after all!! It’s too regretful!
Perhaps it was immediately issued after we separated? So to say, because he didn’t have a pigeon he sent it from the town, and since I stayed for hours at Timo’s house, it spread in the castle in the meantime. Such a blunder!
As I noticed this with an ‘ufff,’ the figure that I detected in front of my eyes came to a standstill.
Her dark blonde ponytail is swaying. I wonder if she came running here in order to find me, she approaches me slowly while gasping for breath, looking at me with a puzzled expression.
— She is, Ariade.
She’s not accompanied by Chiffon who is always with her, however, just by looking at her face I confirmed that the rumor has reached her ears. She’s staring at me completely as if she’s looking at a stranger. In her eyes, there’s only a little bit of fear included but I noticed it.
Cold sweat comes out from my whole body; my hands tremble.
Without any preparation the secret I didn’t want to let my closest friends know of was disclosed, and with sort of the worst of timings I met with Ariade, who is involved with my Dragon self in no small scale.
“…Vito”
Her low voice echoes.
After all, I shouldn’t have come back to the castle.
If I had departed just like that, such a thing would not have happened. I wonder in what manner was Ariade told that I am a Dragon. Yet, I did not witness it. I can’t just stand here dumbfounded and trembling like this, without being able to say what I want to say.
“That, …rumor” (Ariade)
Not wanting to hear anymore, I ran away from there by turning my heels, as if fleeing.
Was I too naïve to think that I could have made the Prince keep silent about this and then continue my life at the castle like always? Without even being able of returning to the room, I ran away from the castle, because I was unable to endure the surrounding inquisitive gazes, and more than anything, Ariade’s eyes.
Towards where.
It’s obvious that it was towards Vizannu Mountains.
One, DREAM.
“If you were to become an existence you are not, burdened with a unbelievable mission, what would you do?”
“What’s with that, is it big brother’s delusions again? It’s because you’re like that, that no matter how much time pa.s.ses you’ll never get a girlfriend.”
“How rude to say it’s a delusion. Listen up, please answer me seriously. Also this is unrelated to me not having a girlfriend.”
“I won’t know unless I become like that. But, I think I’d flee.”
“You’d run away?”
” ‘Cause I’d become someone who is not me, right? I’d become scared and flee. And also I do not want to be burdened by a mission or the like. I don’t want to involve in my own life things that are unrelated to me.”
“That answer is typical of you. But, what would you do if you had to take on that mission in order to save someone precious to you? I mean someone who is not a relative.”
“… Such a person, it’s impossible for me.”
“Why? To get close to someone to that extent, won’t you know unless you try? You are in the habit of giving up right away and leisurely running away, don’t you.”
“I’m sorry for just shutting myself away in my sh.e.l.l.”
“I’m not saying that’s wrong. The best defensive action of protecting yourself first is something selfish. You are just too strong in a slightly bad way. You are in the habit of brooding too much about the things that aren’t really necessary to think about.”
“Yes, maybe. But personalities are things that can’t actually be changed.”
“Yeah. It’s fine even then. But remember this, if *** happens, we will be there for you!!” (T/N: *** meaning ‘anything/something/whatever’, I guess xD)
“… Brother, you’re kind of weird. You’re not talking about your delusions as before, and you’re saying serious things for the first time in a long time if I think about it. And it’s better if you don’t sing like an opera singer towards the end. You are a nuisance to the neighborhood. I’ll receive your feelings only. Thank you.”
“Oh, did you fall in love with me?”
“Like I would.”
“It’s fine to do so! Oh, my beloved little sister!”
“**! I’ll make you into my enemy!” (T/N: the ** in this case is a curse word, Meguesses xD a reader also guesses it could be the oniichan’s name.)
“Eh, don’t wanna.”
I was in the inner part of my usual cave, hugging my knees with my head lowered. I don’t remember how much time has pa.s.sed. However, since it I remember the light of the sun having climbed up, a night should have pa.s.sed.
It’s obvious that I’ve been thinking.
It would have been better had I not stopped at the castle in search of peace, and had just flown away somewhere.
[But she eats humans? I’m afraid.]
I guess that’s scary. I get scared of myself as well sometimes.
[So the truth is she’s a monster?]
What’s wrong with me being a monster. What’s wrong with monsters.
[The country will be at peace with this.]
[So the contractor was real?]
That’s why, those expectations, I don’t want them.
[So it can turn into a Dragon? I want to try seeing that]
Your inquisitive stares, I don’t want them.
[How terrifying]
Your fearful stares, I don’t want them either.
Don’t want them. All of it, I don’t want it.
I didn’t want to think about how much those gazes hurt, or how the gossip talks pierce through my heart. I hate how they share gossips at their own convenience and liking. I’m in the wrong for behaving like that so I know that I’m reaping what I sowed.
I certainly don’t feel regret. — But, honestly, it’s painful.
My thinking was surely naïve. I hadn’t thought of what would happen after Ariade, or my close friends, learned that I’m a Dragon. No, I was trying not to think about it. I wonder what kind of feelings is Ariade carrying now she knows I’m that Dragon. Betrayed? Deceived?
Only unpleasant things circle round and round within my head.
“I don’t want this, anymore.”
My voice was hoa.r.s.e.
I must have a stronger heart in the future. If I don’t I surely won’t be able to live on from now on. I know that yet I can’t gather any strength in my body.
What happened to the might from back then!
But those were complete strangers, not my acquaintances. They weren’t people I knew, nor people from the same country as me. So I was able to do things much more clearly, so to say. I’m being feared as a human devouring monster, the Earth Dragon, by the people from the castle, where I’ve been living all along, which is also the place I belong to. There are also people who arbitrarily decided that the country will be peaceful because of me.
I can’t endure that. I do not want to stay in such a place any longer. I just want to live freely without ties. Even though it’s just that.
I want to stop being human. Well in the first place I’m not a human. The creatures known as humans are troublesome beings. What is a human? Food. I’m hungry now that I mention it. But going out to eat is annoying. Meat, bones, internal organs, blood. Delicious. I’ve come to not know what I’m thinking of anymore. I even saw a strange dream. Until now, I hadn’t seen that kind of dream. Memories from when I was human were reproduced, but the faces and names of the people could not be confirmed as if they were enclosed in a haze. And the contents are also a faint memory. Are those genuine memories, have I personally experienced that? Oh I don’t know anymore. What on earth am I? Why do I eat human beings? Why did I become a dragon? Why am I in this world? Why, do I have the memories of a human from a different world? If I didn’t have human memories I wouldn’t have descended to a human settlement thus I wouldn’t be troubled like this, right? Could I have been suppressed as a human eating dragon? Or it could be possible that I was captured, forced to make a contract and then dragged to war.
I wonder what is the human me…, Well that is, something I can’t do anything about even if I think about it. Until now I thought of it many times but I didn’t understand anything. Thus I cease thinking about this and, as Timo said to me, I should organize my feelings a little.
But I want to know the answer.
If the world of my human self is my real world, —I want to go back.
“Found you.”
Translator’s Lair:
Yay! half a part here! hmm? what? it’s a horrible place to stop at? yes it iiiis!! but i’m feeling trollish today. did i mention i left the chapter’s best part out? no? ohohohoho. the truth is, i’m still midway to translating that and it had some horrible parts. i may just skip it and post them tomorrow, though. please look forward to that.