A+A-Chapter 58
The last dream.
“Neechan? Hey neechan, heeey, you hear me?”
With hairpins on his bleached blond hair and many sparkling earrings on his ears. He himself’s probably doing it to look fashionable, but it’s just painful to look at, quite literally. I can’t understand the mentality of people who are willing to go through such pain in order to stand out. I won’t say, ‘That’s the body you got from your parents!’, but even so, it still must have hurt. I don’t like pain. No matter how cool or mature those look, I won’t do it in my lifetime. …They’re cool though. I diverged from the topic but, is it just me or the young man’s face is becoming more hostile lately?
“Neechan?”
“I hear you.”
“Why are you collapsed on the floor, weren’t you sleeping on the bed just a bit ago?”
Ah that’s right, it seems I am lying on the floor. That’s why the face looking at me from above is upside down. Why is the back of my head hurting a little?
— And surely, this is the world from my memories. My memories from when I was alive.
“Your neechan is thinking for a moment.”
I get up with a ‘heave-ho,’ and do a stretch.
“About what.”
“World peace.”
He laughed at me. He tried to hold his laughter in, but he still ended up roaring with laughter as he held his sides. Now, what do I do with him?
“I told you you were playing too many games! I won’t be held responsible if you end up becoming a hikikomori!”
My current state is that as soon as summer vacation started I have stayed indoors, however, let’s not bring that up.
“If, this is only ‘if’, okay? If the world could be… If your important people could be saved by your own sacrifice, what would you do?”
“Wh-What was that, all of a sudden? Talking about the same stuff niichan says, have you been corrupted!?”
“Answer me.”
This is the world from my memories. Since I want to find my answer, I will even say some slightly embarra.s.sing lines.
He seems to have noticed a strange atmosphere from my unusually serious expression, so although he appears to be dubious, he does seems to be thinking about it properly.
“Hm… To sacrifice myself, eh? Is it absolute that I gotta sacrifice myself? Ain’t there any other way or something?”
“Nope.”
“Such an instant reply.”
‘There’s no other way at all,’ I tell him, but he simply grins and laughs.
“Still I’d search for another way. Even if the possibility was close to zero, I wouldn’t wanna give up so easily. But if that’s still useless, I’d sacrifice myself with bravery.”
“With bravery, huh?”
“Ain’t that how heroes are supposed to be?”
‘Ain’t I cool?’ His laughter and his smile make for a cheap expression, but he looks like the sun; dazzling and unreachable for me, who am feeling like I have been living in the shadows. Even though we are siblings, our grades, movement reflexes and personalities are entirely different. How many times have I been envious of him?
Moreover, to face my own sacrifice with bravery, is something I wouldn’t be able to do even if I thought about it.
“Even so, you’re asking me this but just by looking at your face I can tell that your answer’s already set, right? Then there’s no need to come asking me about every little thing, alright?”
“…Yeah.”
Even if I decided t
o do so, to sacrifice myself with bravery is something I wouldn’t be able to do. But it was also me the one who decided to do it. In that case, the one who can make a change in that— is also me.
“Also, don’t you hate simplistic ideals such as ‘world peace’? Then ain’t it fine if you just do things as you wanna do them? Just don’t mind what other people think.”
…I see. That’s right. After all, it depends on my own feelings.
“Thank you, Touka.”
My only younger brother, whose name is written as ‘Transparent Summer’, shines like the summer sun, with a clear and transparent, pure heart.1 Even though he’s always belligerent and his words are full of sarcasm, when I’m actually troubled he lends me his strength. Being able to have such a younger brother, this neechan is happy.
Touka strokes my head with a squashing force and goes, ‘You finally laughed,’ and smiles.
“It’s nothing, Itoka-neechan.”
In a moment, my memories were interrupted.
When Miss Kikuko disappeared I was left standing stock still and dumbfounded. And when I woke up from the heavenly daydream, my head was feeling all hazy.[^2]
Yes, my name was Itoka. Written as 伊都香 and p.r.o.nounced as Itoka.
I “was” a genuine j.a.panese person and an ordinary human being. I had one older brother and one younger brother, and we were a family of five people. A common and average household.
But now I am here as the Earth Dragon, and that is, unmistakably, my current life. It’s a fact that I can’t change anything about.
— I ended up remembering.
Everything. EVERYTHING. Everything. All of it.
For example, I remember that I was a high school student that was part of the go-home club. And that my younger brother was an extremely popular prodigy, and was admirable. My older brother was an irredeemable idiot, but I still liked him a lot. I never put it into words, but I really loved my father, my mother, and my friends. And I had shut myself away and had gone on a gaming binge once summer vacation started, booyah.[^3] Everything. EVERYTHING. Everything. All of it.
I didn’t know why I died in that world, but the me from those memories was paused at the summer vacation. I possibly got involved in some incident.
“It will be your end when you remember all of your human memories.“
I remembered those words that Lord Cleric said before.
I wondered if that meant that this was the end of my life. Was that the reason that this would be my end? Did I remember because I was about to die, or was I about to die because I had remembered?
But that didn’t matter to me.
— Because I’ve already decided.
“It is my fault that Miss Kikuko, no, that Kikuko-neechan died.”
After the Demon King cursed out, I muttered this with a sigh. You might think that I’m a heartless person for forgetting the neechan that lived in the same neighborhood as me and with whom I was pretty close, but there was no helping it.2 Because I had regrettably forgotten lock, stock and barrel of the memories from when I was human.
“Such a thing wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t done unnecessary actions.”
Indeed, it was as the Demon King said. Everything, everything, was my fault. Both the war, the alliance, and the Captain’s life. From the very beginning, I should have never gone down to a human settlement. I should have obediently let myself be subjugated as the man-eating Dragon I was. Just behaving like the monster I was and just living on as a villainous creature.
“It’s not your fault, Vito.”
The Captain, who was being supported Miss Rosa, somehow managed to stand with his own strenght and came close to me. His expression seemed sad, and it wasn’t just my own impression.
“No, it’s my fault.”
I wondered if the smile I mustered to appease him was even a bit convincing.
“…Vito.”
He straight out grabbed my chin and my line of sight met with his jet black eyes.
He was truly a beautiful person.
From the time I first met him, I have met no other person as fascinating as the Captain. He was tasty, and hard to understand, and gentle, and strong. I was gradually attracted to him, and was even perplexed at the feelings I was experiencing for the first time.
‘Everything is my responsibility,’ I say. My attempt at smiling was probably quite bad, because the fingers that propped up my chin drifted to my cheek, gently stroking it, and then he whispered in a voice that could only be heard by me.
“— Shall we run away?”
‘Somewhere far away’, he added.
I blinked at those words.
“If this makes you so sad, we don’t need this country; we don’t need this world.”
…Really, this person.
How could he say such things so lightly. Even if it was a joke, it seemed like a kingdom’s Knight was saying that he’d choose a ‘savage Dragon’ over ‘peace’. Even though he himself had been saying the opposite as part of his pride as a Knight before.3 Did something that could overthrow that pride, sprout within the Captain?
He b.u.mped his forehead to mine.
“So, just look at me. You don’t have to look anywhere elsewhere; don’t think about anything.”
My breath got a little caught by having that jet-black darkness right in front of me, so close that I could touch it.
The distance shortened. A sigh got caught between my lips.
“If I have you, I don’t need anything else.”
…Then why are you making such a pained smile?
I shifted my line of sight and interlocked my own hand to the hand that was stroking my cheek.
“Sorry, Captain.”
‘Why?’ He asked with a crumped up expression, his breathing becoming even more irregular. It wasn’t just him who was about to cry, I was the same. But I would certainly not cry. I’m the one that understands best that I don’t have the disposition of a heroin who is always protected by a hero.
I suddenly felt a piercing pain in my head, and my face distorted in agony.
“…Vito?”
“I’m sorry; my head is in chaos right now, to the point of going crazy.”
My head was hurting so much that I thought it’d split in half; maybe the reason was that my human memories overflew into me all at once.
“If so, just let yourself go crazy.”
His voice sounded just a little bit cold.
“Be it once, twice, thrice, or however many times you lose yourself, or however deeply broken you become, I will save you. I will save you every single time.”
Those were some really sweet words right there. He said, that it was okay to leave everything behind, that it was okay to entrust everything to him. But, that alone is no use.
I endured losing against the temptation, and then, I let it continue to disappear from within the palm of my hand.
Was this really okay? I tried asking that to myself. Honestly, I didn’t understand stuff like main storyline, or script, or plot. But as long as I can save people, even if I get called a hypocrite, then it’ll be fine, because what I hate the most is just watching the victims suffer while not doing anything but worry over it. If there’s anything I can do to solve the situation, then I want to do it.
Looking up at the sky from the inside of the building, a great darkness could be seen through the section of the ceiling which was made of gla.s.s. Within it, the shining jet-black lights increased in size and shone darkly, looking as if it was about to start its attack on the earth’s surface at any moment.
Kikuko-oneechan said that only the ground directly beneath this black cloud would be destroyed, but thinking of it calmly, I became afraid that, let alone this country, the whole land around here would be sc.r.a.ped away. In that case, Alvina Kingdom would be damaged as well.
If that happened, Chiffon, Ariade, Maribelle, the Prince, the Vice-Captain, Lance, Stefanos, and Na.s.sau too; all the people I had met so far would meet their end.
All of them would die in an instant.
Was this the outcome that His Majesty Hector wanted to avoid? For that purpose, he tried to swallow up the other countries, in the hopes of managing to do something against it. …I apologize for believing that it was all your own fabrications.
However, it truly did seem that there was no way to stop that thing. That was why it was so surprising that Lord Cleric still intended to go.
…But, you know. I thought of this: If I were to crash into that thing with all my power, what would be the outcome? I felt confident in myself for some reason. However, I didn’t know what would become of me if I did so. I could be destroyed into smithereens without even leaving a single part of me behind.
But I didn’t have time to think.
I’d be left with too many regrets if I escaped by myself.
I didn’t want to cla.s.sify the things I went through in this world in convenient words such as miracles or destiny. This existence, this Dragon existence, it was a Dragon Life. Yes, I could say so with pride.
Because I didn’t want to lose anyone anymore.
Within this building where even the light of the moon did not enter due to the blackness in the sky, I returned to my Dragon form. Since the building itself may be crushed, I made it so that my wings were folded, my neck was brought down low and my day was curled up. I heard a gasp from Miss Rosa, and thought to myself, ‘Dragons are the villians after all’, with a bitter smile.4 But it was great that I managed to make great memories up until the end.
I brought my face closer to the Captain’s, who was right in front of me, and told him.
[I was happy. I could become friends with kind people who accepted me even though I was a Dragon, and I was able to have fun everyday. Although sometimes it was difficult and sometimes I made mistakes, but they’re all good memories now.]
But I wanted them to forgive me, because I was about to betray everyone now. To Chiffon and the girls who are waiting for my return, to Lord Cleric who intended to take my place, and to the Captain, above all; forgive me.
“What are you thinking…”
[I want to protect you all.]
To think that me, who always thought only about myself so much, would want to protect everyone else; it made me laugh. It was like an excessive ideal. I felt myself be overcome with laughter at these Hero pretensions. And then, this was exactly the same future that Lord Cleric had predicted for me. Yet, I think that no matter how much I was being rolled over in someone’s hands, it’d be fine. Thiswas not destiny nor necessity, it all happened “by chance.” And this was the result.
And so, this was my answer.
“Don’t tell me, you remembered…?”
Lord Cleric was fl.u.s.tered in a way unlike himself. When I nodded silently, he made a bitter face. Timo too, held both hands to her mouth with an unbelieving expression.
“How… Even so, you don’t have to go through–” (Timo)
[No, please let me do it.]
After interrupting her words, she didn’t say anything else. I wondered if they knew that it was too late already.
“Wait, Vito, you can’t!!”
[But, as it is, everyone will die.]
The Captain hugged the tip of my snout and pleaded at me. He was close enough he could perceive my levels of hunger.5 Did he discover that easily what I was trying to do?
“I won’t let you.”
[Captain.]
“Absolutely not.”
[Captain.]
“I won’t let you go.”
[Captain.]
“No.”
[…Sir Lutoria.]
He immediately lifted his downcast face. He seemed surprised since I called his name for the first time.
Then I spoke.
[I like you.]
More than any other human being, or any other living being; more than anything in the world.
[I really like you.]
I closed my eyes, and I could feel the Captain’s warmth in contact with my snout.
Yeah, I like him. Now, and always.
[I love you.]
Was I able to smile beautifully this time?
However, I’m sorry. I won’t be able stay by your side any longer, so.
[Be happy with Miss Rosa.]
At the moment I spooke those words, the Captain made a terribly hurt expression.
Forgive me. But surely, Miss Rosa will be able to become the Captain’s support. Even if it wasn’t possible now, it may be able to become possible with time.
His arms had slackened, so I slipped out of them and spread my wings. I was confident that I’d be able to fly properly this time. Firstly I gently avoided hitting them with my wings, and the building’s walls too, before expanding them wide and flying away. Breaking through the gla.s.s of the ceiling, I gained alt.i.tude and aimed at those black lights.
Ah, it was a little scary after all.
Would it hurt? Let’s pray that it all ended in an instant.
I breathed in deeply and, as if to say ‘this is my last struggle’ I breathed fire at it with all my might, but even so the black lights remained unperturbed.
As expected, that was useless, huh?
‘In that case at least,’ I said, and rose in alt.i.tude further, getting closer to it. As if I was approaching a black sun, my body started receiving its heat waves. It seemed that it was on the verge of launching its attack towards the ground, and its glow grew duller.
— I spread my wings widely and, before that reached the ground, I used my whole body to receive the blow of that thing which was of my beloved color, and the same color as myself.
I screamed due to the burning pain that went through my whole body. I wondered if this was how it felt like to be burned alive.
The memories of the time I spent here turned around in my head like a revolving lantern’s images, and made me think, ‘Aah, this is truly the end’; it honestly made me want to cry.
I felt some reluctance, but I had no regrets.
Because this was my answer.
— My consciousness was cut off soon afterwards.
—- THANK YOU FOR COMPLETING THE MISSION —