Thora suppressed an amused grin. "You"ll do what, my dear? Hit me? Kill me? Run away? What is it you think you"ll do?"
Kat balled her fists. "You"ll find out. Don"t think I can"t."
"Oh, I"m sure you could. Very sure, in fact. I don"t doubt for a second that you are capable of amazing things...and terrible things. But I also think you have no intention of hurting anyone. Least of all someone who only wants to help you."
"You don"t know anything about me."
"You may be surprised. You"re not as careful as you might think when you try to hide your feelings."
Kat leaned back and sneered. "So tell me what you think you know then."
"I know you were a thief," Thora began.
Kat shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but said nothing.
"I also know you"ve taken at least one life...possibly more," Thora continued. "And I know that you were once loved and cared for, but something tragic happened. My guess is that it has something to do with magic. Oh yes, and I know you"re in love with Ethan Dragonvein."
With each word, the cold empty feeling Kat had felt before anger had taken over, began returning. A single tear spilled down her cheek.
"How could you...?" she began. Her voice cracked.
"I may be old, but I"m not blind," Thora told her. "Over the years I"ve learned how to notice things that people are trying to hide. Call it a talent."
"How could he leave me behind?" Kat"s voice was little more than a whisper.
Thora gave her a motherly smile. "Because in his heart he knew there was no other choice. Ethan"s path is one fraught with danger and death. I offered to keep you safe. If it helps, he took quite a bit of convincing before agreeing to let you stay."
Kat wiped her eyes. "It doesn"t matter. He doesn"t love me anyway."
"Of course he does. Just not in the way you want him to. And that"s not even the saddest part of all this."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, if he did love you that way, then he wouldn"t be the man you love."
Kat c.o.c.ked her head and wiped her face with her hand. "I don"t understand. Of course he would be."
Thora smiled sweetly. "I"ve already said what I know about you. Now I"ll tell you what I know about Ethan if you like."
Kat nodded slightly.
"I may not look it these days, but when I was a young woman I was quite the beauty. Or so I was told. When I was about Asta"s age my body began to develop. In less than a year I looked every inch a grown up."
Kat glanced down at herself and frowned. "I don"t have that problem."
"No," said Thora. "And though you may not think so right now, that is a blessing. When it happened to me, I wasn"t mature enough to fully understand the sort of attention I was getting. I don"t mean from other children, but from grown men. I have to admit that after a while I learned to enjoy it. They were practically tripping over themselves for a chance to talk to me and were constantly bringing me presents. It made me feel special. But I was still far too young to desire them in the same way they desired me. I didn"t feel like that about men until I met Tadeus."
Her eyes became distant and a faint smile hovered on the corners of her mouth. "He was a young builder"s apprentice who used to come to my father for advice. His father and mine were friends, so he came quite often. The first time I saw him, I knew he was the one. He was everything I dreamed about. He was handsome, kind, considerate, generous, and most of all, honorable.
"Each time he visited, I would make sure I was in the house that day. He didn"t seem to mind the barrage of questions I asked about his work, his life, or whatever else I could think of to keep him talking. He answered them all. He even asked me about my studies and what I hoped to be one day. And I could tell that he wasn"t just being polite. He was genuinely interested. Finally, I built up the courage and told him how I felt."
Kat was captivated. "What happened? Did you marry him?"
Thora laughed. "Of course not. I was still little more than a child. He was far too honorable and good to take advantage of me like that. Naturally, I was devastated. I didn"t leave my room for days."
She sighed. "After that, Tadeus stopped coming by. He sent me a letter telling me that he could not bear to see me in pain, and that one day I would make a wonderful wife. And though sadly it could not be him, he hoped that whomever I married was deserving of my love."
A tear fell down her cheek and she took a deep breath.
"Who did you marry?" Kat asked.
Thora"s smile vanished. "My father died soon after that and I married a foul brute of a dwarf. He didn"t care that I was too young and innocent for marriage. He could only see me from the outside. The day he died was the happiest moment of my life aside from when my daughter and grandchildren were born of course."
She reached out to touch Kat briefly on the cheek. "The point is this, my dear. If Tadeus had taken me for his own, he would not have been the honorable and kind person I had fallen in love with. But he was. And that"s what I know about Ethan. He is too good and kind to return your love. Tragically, it"s the very thing you love about him which prevents him from loving you back."
Kat considered this for a moment. Slowly, she nodded. "What happened to him...Tadeus I mean?"
"Oh, he married some dainty little mouse of a woman. I hated her intensely. Even after we became best friends."
Kat laughed, in spite of herself.
"That"s better," said Thora. "I want your days here to be filled with laughter."
"Thank you," said Kat. With a sudden rush of emotion, she sprang up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Thora"s neck in a loving embrace.
Thora patted her gently on the back. "You are very welcome, my dear."
Kat sat back down, still wiping away her newly shed tears. "Why are you doing this for me?"
"Ethan asked me the same question," she replied. "So I"ll tell you exactly what I told him. I"m a grandmother. And that"s what grandmother"s do."
It was an answer that touched Kat"s heart. But the renewed mention of Ethan"s name reminded her that she was still angry with him.
"I can see the truth in everything you"ve told me," she said. "But I still don"t understand why Ethan could not at least say goodbye."
Thora"s eyes looked directly into her own.
"Would you honestly have allowed him to leave without you if he had?"
Chapter Twenty.
It would take three days of rapid marching through the tunnel to get them to the road that descended the mountain. From there they would head west to the coast.
At the end of the first day Birger had nearly exhausted the rest of the group with his intense pace. Jonas had already stumbled and fallen twice, but luckily suffered only minor sc.r.a.pes.
"The faster we go the better," the dwarf told them. "King Halvar"s guards will not tire, nor slow. We must cover enough distance to stay ahead of them. If they figure out our route too soon then they could be on our heels by tomorrow."
"Jonas can"t go on like this forever," Ethan pointed out. He was still unable to look Birger directly in the eye, so focused his attention on the old man.
"If they catch you, they"ll kill you all," Birger told him sternly. "They"ll hide your bodies and no one will ever know what happened to you. So he had better find a way of keeping up."
"I"ll manage," Jonas said, gulping for breath.
"If you don"t, you"ll be left behind," Birger added.
"We"re not leaving him," snapped Ethan.
The dwarf looked at Ethan and shook his head. "In days to come you will need to make hard choices. It is an inevitability of war. Sometimes you must look to the greater good."
"Isn"t that exactly what King Halvar did?" challenged Ethan, a flash of anger surging through him. "Isn"t that why we"re running for our lives?"
Birger threw up his hand and muttered a curse.
"It doesn"t matter," Jonas interjected. "I said I"d manage."
He was as good as his word, though when they finally halted he was pouring with sweat and flushed from fatigue.
"Three hours," announced Birger. "Then we start out again."
Jonas wasted no time in laying down right in the middle of the pathway. He was asleep in seconds.
"I must admit," remarked Birger while rummaging through his pack for some fruits and a water skin. "He is stout for someone so old."
"What will you do when you return?" asked Markus, changing the subject.
"I must face the king," he replied solemnly. "I have committed murder and must answer for that."
"But Rumhold attacked you," Ethan pointed out. "It"s not like you wanted to kill him."
Birger sat down and leaned against the wall. "That may be. But I must still present myself to the king. He will decide my guilt or innocence."
"And if he finds you guilty?" asked Markus.
"Then my life is forfeit."
"Are you kidding?" Ethan exclaimed. "The king is the reason you had to kill in the first place. You can"t just let him judge you. He"ll find you guilty for sure."
"Perhaps," said Birger. "Perhaps not. I cannot let the actions of others dictate my personal morality. Our laws are clear. I must trust that King Halvar will honor his duty."
"And if he doesn"t?"
He smiled up at Ethan, a look of deep sincerity in his eyes. "Then I will die with my honor intact."
Markus sniffed.
"You disagree with my reasons?" Birger asked him.
He nodded emphatically. "During the time I"ve lived in Lumnia, I"ve seen many a brave man throw his life away to satisfy some misguided code of honor. The graveyards are filled with men who thought it was worth dying for. And there"s one thing that they all have in common...they"re all dead. Honor is just another word for surrender. You"ll march off and face someone who in all likelihood will kill you. Of course, you could decide to fight for life. But for some reason people like you see living as being dishonorable." He sneered contemptuously. "You can keep your so-called honor. I"d rather stand with the living than sleep with the dead."
Birger regarded him for a moment. When he spoke, it was in a calm and measured tone. "Unless I miss my guess, those are words spoken by a man who has been betrayed many times, and suffered much hardship and loss. I pity you that your spirit is so broken and stained that you can find no value in honor. I truly do."
Markus sniffed. "I"ve seen men like you before. You look at me and think you"re somehow better. And maybe you are. But I"ll be around long after you"re nothing but a tear in a loved one"s eye. So you can keep your pity too."
Birger gave Markus another sad look and then closed his eyes.
It had been a difficult debate. Markus had a point, Ethan considered. Was honor really a good enough reason to throw away one"s life? The part of him that took pride in doing the right thing said yes. But lately, honor had seemed increasingly less important than seeing the next day arrive. Could there be some middle ground, he wondered?
The soreness in his body and the need for sleep pushed such complicated thoughts from his mind. Hard choices could wait.
He woke to find Jonas shaking him roughly.
"Time to go," the old man said. He looked thoroughly reinvigorated.
Ethan pushed himself up. "What"s with you? A few hours ago you looked like you were about to die."
"I have Birger to thank for that," Jonas replied.
"You must be careful though," the dwarf warned. "I"ve never heard of humans taking it before. Only use it if you must."
Jonas gave him a sharp nod. "I will."
Before Ethan could ask, Birger tossed him a small stone bottle.
"I went looking for hanging druidia after you fell asleep," he explained. "It sometimes grows in this area and I managed to find some about a mile further down. Mixed with water it will give a fully grown dwarf enough energy to work all day without rest. I wasn"t sure what it would do to a human, but I didn"t see any other choice but to try."
"And I"m glad you did," said Jonas, giving an almost childish grin.
"A small sip should do if absolutely necessary," Birger continued to Ethan. "But you have to be careful. If you take too much your heart can burst. And it only works for about three days. After that your body will simply stop and you"ll fall asleep wherever you happen to be at the time. And like I said, it"s used by dwarves, not humans. So your body might shut down sooner."
With that said, he hurried off once again, forcing the others into a run in order to catch up. This time however, Jonas had no trouble keeping pace, even overtaking Birger a few times.
Occasionally the dwarf withdrew a small red stone and gripped it tightly. Ethan recalled seeing him use it when they were on their way to Elyfoss and he took this opportunity to inquire what it was.
"It can sense life nearby," Birger told him. "Not from too far...about a mile or so. It tells me if anyone is coming."
"Another useful tool," Markus remarked.
"Indeed," Birger agreed. "It has steered me clear of many a danger over the years."
They paused only briefly to eat. Though Jonas showed no signs of tiring, Ethan and Markus were by now both grimacing regularly from sore muscles and aching feet. Ethan considered taking a sip from the bottle, but eventually thought better of it.
The tunnels wound and twisted in snakelike patterns, as well as forking off in multiple directions. Ethan was again grateful that Birger was among them. Without him they would be utterly lost, likely condemned to wander around in the dark until the food in their packs ran out and they starved to death.