"Fortunately, I"m a doctor, so I"d get through it and then I"d skin you alive and you"d remember for the second one. And just for your information, I"m on birth control. I suppose it wasn"t very responsible of us to not talk about all of that before we jumped into having s.e.x."
"I made love to you, Libby. I didn"t f.u.c.k you and I didn"t have s.e.x with you, I made love to you. I"m in love with you. Whatever else is going on, at least believe that."
"I may not be experienced s.e.xually, Ty, but I think I know the difference. You didn"t have to rea.s.sure me." He was still radiating so much pain that Libby needed to get out of the car. But she didn"t want to take the chance he might view her distance as a rejection. The things Sam said, the way his cousin had treated him, brought his childhood, so carefully hidden away, straight to the surface.
"He hurt you, Libby."
"He hurt you, Ty," she pointed out gently. "Your parents hurt you. People we love can do that. We give them power over us by loving them. That"s part of living. You can"t sit on the sidelines and you can"t hide in a laboratory forever. Life is messy, Tyson. If you don"t trust me with your love, you"re never going to know if we work or not. Whatever Sam thinks, or Sarah thinks, ultimately doesn"t matter. It"s what we think."
His hands fisted in her hair and he pulled her close to him, holding her head still. "I think I want you more than I"ve ever wanted anything else in my life. What do you think, Libby?"
His piercing blue eyes blazed down into hers and she felt that same curious melting sensation she always felt when she looked at him. More than that, more than the ache between her legs and the tightness in her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, was the feeling of rightness. Love could be overwhelming and for a long moment she could only look at him.
Tyson never took his gaze from her face. Didn"t blink. His world, his future, the rest of his life had come down to this one strange moment, sitting on the side of the road. Her delicate scent drifted to him and her hair felt like crushed silk in his hands. Libby Drake, with her large bedroom eyes and her sensual mouth and her innate innocence. She couldn"t hide her thoughts from him if she tried. She had the most expressive face of any person he"d ever met.
And there was love in her eyes. There was no mistaking that. He might not have ever seen it before, but it was unmistakable and quickened his heartbeat until his pulse was thundering in his ears and tears burned close behind his eyes. To prevent making a fool of himself, he leaned down and took the words as they formed, from her mouth. Tasted them. Savored them. Held them inside of him.
Emotion rose from some well deep inside he"d slammed shut a long time ago. It flooded his body, his mind, his heart, until he shook with it. He kissed her until he thought he"d choke on tears. He didn"t know if the tears were for his past, finally shed, or tears for his future, but he turned his face away from her and started the Porsche.
"I can"t talk about this, Libby," he said, keeping his face averted. "So don"t start."
Libby put her hand over his as he shifted. "You can"t talk about loving me?"
The little smile in her voice twisted that emotional knot in his gut tighter. "I mean it, Lib. I"m not going to be one of those mushy men women push around." He injected command into his voice, but he sounded raspy instead, not quite striking the right note.
She burst out laughing, that soft sound that seemed to be music to his ears-and his body. "You mean you"re never going to tell me you love me?"
"I just did. I said it and that should be enough."
"For the rest of my life?"
"Well, how many times exactly is a man supposed to say it to a woman?"
"In an entire lifetime? Or in a few years before they divorce because he never says it and she doesn"t know?"
His gaze narrowed as he flicked it over her. "There is not going to be a divorce and she should know if she"s smart like you. Being nice isn"t my forte, as much as I hate to admit Sam might be right in any way, but... I"m not about to screw this up."
She hid a smile. "Well, I guess you"re going to have to make the supreme sacrifice then, and say it at least three times a day. And there"s going to be kisses involved."
"Kisses I can handle. I"ll be happy to make love to you three times a day, but why do we have to talk about it?" He shook his head. "We"re going to do some negotiating on that one."
He pulled the car into Irene Madison"s driveway and turned to look at her. "And you"re going to marry me. None of this living together first to see if we"re compatible. I"m not compatible with anyone, so there"s no point in you trying to find that out. You"re just going to have to make it permanent and find a way to cope."
"Gee, honey, I"m overwhelmed with your sweet talk. You"re sweeping me off my feet."
"You"re being sarcastic and I"m being serious. I want to get married as quickly as possible. I have a private plane somewhere." He looked around as if he might spot it out the window.
"A plane?" she echoed faintly. "Somewhere?"
"Yes, we could fly to Reno."
"No, we couldn"t. I have this enormous family, Ty. I"m not flying to Reno. You don"t actually have a pilot"s license, do you?"
"Sure."
"Get out of the car. We"re not talking anymore." She pushed the door open and stepped out before he could stop her. What in the world was she thinking? Tyson Derrick was going to make her crazy.
Tyson draped his arm possessively around her shoulders as they approached the house. Just before they got to the door, he pulled her to a stop. "Listen to me, Libby. I don"t care what state we find this boy in. Don"t risk your health or that of your sisters to ease him. Jonas is still in the hospital. All of you seem to be running on empty. If you start to feel overwhelmed and on the verge of doing something you shouldn"t, give me a sign and I"ll get us out of there."
Libby scowled at him. "Don"t think you"re going to get all bossy on me. I don"t go for the he-man type."
His sudden grin was almost boyish, the smile lighting his eyes. "Yes, you do. You just never admitted it to yourself before now. I"m very bossy."
"So am I."
"But I"m always right," he said smugly and knocked on the door. As the door began to open he put his mouth against her ear. "Because I"m brilliant."
He flicked his tongue over an ultrasensitive spot, sending chills down her spine. Libby lifted her shoulder and gave him a warning glare.
"Libby. Tyson Derrick." Irene stepped back, her expression wary, ashamed, hopeful. "Please come in."
Ty allowed his arm to slip off Libby"s shoulder, but he ran his fingers down her arm until he captured her hand, tugging her close to his side. Irene didn"t have her purse handy, but if she decided to bash Libby, he was ready.
A small girlish giggle escaped from Libby. She leaned into him, her lips brushing his ear. "Stop looking so intimidating. The poor woman is terrified of you."
"Good. You seem to incite people toward violence. I think looking intimidating might be helpful in these situations."
She laughed and squeezed his hand. Tyson found himself wondering how she did it. Turned everything around so that he was having fun. Felt light. Playful. He wanted to swing her into his arms and kiss her right there in front of Irene because he was happy.
"Irene, Tyson works for BioLab and is a biochemist. He researches drugs all the time. In fact, his original work is the platform for the PDG drug. Like me, he"s concerned that the drug in development for cancer patients performs differently on the adolescent brain. There"s no significant proof of that. The clinical trials have been conducted with mainly adults. There have been only a very few patients in the trials who have developed severe depression with suicidal tendencies, but all have been teens."
Tyson leaned forward. "We know the adolescent brain isn"t fully developed. I think it reacts differently than an adult brain to the stimulation of the drug. This particular drug was derived from a plant in the rain forest of Peru and..."
Libby squeezed his knee, flashed a smile at Irene and broke in. "How much do you actually know about clinical trials?"
Irene ducked her head again, twisting her fingers together.
"Next to nothing," she admitted. "We need money desperately and Drew has been so tired of not being able to be like other kids. When I read about this, it seemed like such a miracle."
"Prior to a clinical trial a drug or procedure is tested on animal and human cells. If the drug shows no serious concerns then they"ll go into phase one of the clinical trials." Libby tried to judge Irene"s reaction, but it was impossible. The woman bustled around rather than sitting still, pouring tea, cutting coffee cake and handing them plates and forks. "Phase one is anywhere from around twenty to eighty people. About seventy percent of all drugs pa.s.s this initial testing. They look for things like safety, how it"s metabolized or absorbed, the best way to administer it, that sort of thing. Very few teens are ever asked to partic.i.p.ate and certainly a test study of concentrated numbers of teenagers wouldn"t be done except in very rare cases."
"I was told all that had been done and they were in the next phase. That they had already determined it was safe," Irene protested.
Libby glanced at Tyson. He raised his eyebrow. "Mrs. Madison. Irene. A trial that small cannot possibly determine the safety and side effects to a large number of individuals, especially to the adolescent brain. In a phase two trial, such as the one your son is partic.i.p.ating in, the drug is given to a larger group of people. They"re looking to further evaluate its safety and effectiveness. It"s still an experiment, Irene. They have little idea of how the drug is going to interact with an adolescent brain."
Irene pressed her fingertips to her face, hiding her expression. "I"m sorry, Libby, I should have listened to you."
"You can leave a trial anytime you want, Irene. Surely you"ve pulled him out by now."
"I haven"t done anything. He isn"t taking the drug, but he seems so different, so discouraged. I just wanted to find a way to end this all. I"m going to lose my house, everything we have, and he still isn"t better. I"ve done everything I can think of to do."
"You should have told us about the financial difficulties, Irene," Libby said gently. "As a community, we all would have helped. Let me take this to Inez. You know she"s a wonderful organizer. Joley can probably help raise money. We have resources as a community to help."
"I just didn"t feel I could ask," Irene said.
"But you felt you could sell Libby out to the sharks?" Tyson asked, his voice a low whiplash of recrimination.
Libby was so startled she nearly dropped her teacup. She flashed him a chastising look, but Tyson ignored her, pinning the other woman with his piercing, icy gaze. "If you have a problem, Irene, taking it to your friends seems a better alternative than deliberately exposing a friend to what may be dangerous and unwanted attention."
"It was so much money. A man called me and said he had heard all sorts of stories about Libby. He offered me money just to tell him."
"What man?" Tyson asked, ignoring Libby digging her fingers into his thigh.
"He said his name was Edward Martinelli. I just told him a little about the Drakes and how over the years they"d put Drew"s leukemia into remission over and over. He sent me a check for five thousand dollars. I"d never seen so much money. So I began to think if he would pay me for the story, maybe others would, too."
"And they did."
"Only if I had pictures and some kind of proof. I had the hospital records and many pictures of Libby with Drew. They gave me ten thousand once I came up with a picture of Joley and Libby together with Drew. Fifteen thousand dollars was too much money to pa.s.s up. We had so many bills and I was afraid of losing the house. It was a G.o.dsend." She ducked her head. "I didn"t know the headlines would sound so lurid. "G.o.ddess and Queen of Debauched." That was so terrible."
Libby hated the way the gossip rags were so fixated on Joley all of a sudden.
"It was a betrayal, Irene," Tyson said, his voice so hard Libby winced. "It was wrong and you knew it was wrong and that"s part of the reason you were so angry when you attacked Libby. You felt guilty."
"I did. I do." Irene began to sob.
Libby immediately went to her and put her arms around her. "It"s going to be okay. Let the community help raise money for the bills. Take Drew out of the test, program immediately and sign a release for Ty and me to have access to the data."
"We could use Drew"s blood as well," Tyson added.
"Now? You want to take his blood now?" Irene asked.
"It"s important, Irene, or we wouldn"t ask. We need to a.n.a.lyze the data and try to figure out specifically what is wrong for this one age group of patients. The drug is highly promising and if I can just put my finger on that one small glitch, we might have a real opportunity for success. Without that specific data, I can"t get anywhere."
Irene took the consent form from Libby and slowly began to read it over. Twice, tears welled up in her eyes and she blew her nose. "Go ahead, Libby, he wants to talk to you anyway. He"s so angry with me for what I did. Take his blood if it will help."
Libby patted Irene"s knee, flashed a warning look at Tyson and hurried down the hall to Drew"s bedroom. She heard the doorbell ringing but ignored it as she knocked on the teenager"s door.
Drew lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. His leg was in traction and he looked utterly miserable. He brightened when he saw her. "Libby. I was hoping you"d come to see me."
"Tyson Derrick is here, too," she said, not wanting him to think she was hiding anything from him. "He"s the firefighter who rescued you."
"And fell," Drew said glumly.
"You do know it wasn"t your fault, don"t you?" Libby asked. "Surely someone explained what happened to you."
Tyson joined her, holding up the paper in triumph. He held out his hand to Drew. "How are you? I"ll have to sign your leg there. It"s a long-standing tradition."
"The drug you took has certain side effects, Drew," Libby said. "One of them is severe depression. I hope you"ve stopped taking it."
Drew nodded. "I couldn"t stop myself. Now I just feel stupid and angry and embarra.s.sed. Pete wanted to see me, but I wouldn"t let him in." He looked up at Tyson. "I"m really sorry. You almost died because of me."
"Not because of you," Tyson said, seating himself on the edge of the bed.
Libby had never heard his voice so gentle.
"I"m a biochemist, Drew. I only fight fires during the high season. More than most people, I know the effects of drugs on people. You were using an untested product. You were the test. It isn"t safe yet, but I"m going to try to fix that. In the meantime, don"t cut yourself off from your friends and family. You need them to help keep up your spirits for the long fight."
Before Drew could respond, there was a commotion in the hallway. Irene raised her voice and a man"s voice snapped something back. Something hit the wall and the room shook. Tyson jerked open the door, one hand behind him to hold Libby back.
"Harry Jenkins." He greeted his nemesis, his voice mild. "Always a pleasure to see you. We were just leaving. Have you come to see Drew?" He flashed a small, taunting smile.
Libby caught his belt in warning. He was still smoldering from the night before, from the things Sam said; now he had a target. She tried to remind him the boy and his mother were watching. Tyson didn"t seem to care.
Harry"s face turned a mottled purple. "You! I should have known you"d be here. Mrs. Madison, I hope he"s not bothering you. You don"t have to talk to him."
Libby quickly turned back to Drew and deftly took a vial of blood while Tyson stood squarely in the door, preventing Harry from seeing what she was doing. Surprisingly, Drew flashed her a conspiratorial grin and stayed quiet until she was finished. She winked at him and tapped Tyson on the shoulder. Irene hovered behind Harry, wringing her hands together.
"I"ll visit you later," Tyson said to the boy. "Libby and I have a lot of work to do." He reached behind him to urge her through the doorway, forcing Harry to step back.
The man followed them out the door. "I can"t believe you"d go this far, Derrick," he said. "You"re interfering with a legitimate study and it"s against the law."
"Not if I have the mother"s permission," Tyson said, his smirk plain.
Harry took an aggressive step forward. "You think you"re going to get away with this, but you aren"t. I have resources you haven"t dreamed of."
"Do your worst, Harry," Tyson encouraged him. "You should be in the lab, not d.o.g.g.i.ng my every step. What the h.e.l.l are you doing in Sea Haven anyway?"
"Protecting my interests. I"m not letting you ruin my entire career, you and that doctor friend of yours. We"ll see how highly everyone thinks of the two of you when you are exposed for what you really are."
Tyson slid behind the wheel of the Porsche and adjusted his sungla.s.ses. "I"m going to be spending a few days in the lab, Libby. You feel like helping?"
"Absolutely."
Chapter Fourteen.
TYSON was a tyrant in the laboratory. He ordered Libby around as if she were his a.s.sistant, didn"t acknowledge anything she said and was so focused on his work he didn"t see or hear anything else around him. She lay down twice on his futon and fell asleep, but in forty-eight hours he didn"t stop once. She fed him eggs while he examined several compounds. He didn"t seem to notice, opening his mouth on command and chewing when she told him to. His eyes were continually glued to his computer. Libby found him absolutely fascinating.
His mind seemed to work at three times the speed of anyone else she"d ever met and he was definitely on the track of something. Tyson reminded her of a hound dog on the scent trail. Nothing else seemed to matter to him-not even her. It should have hurt her feelings, but she was too impressed with his single-minded purpose. He poured over the data, compared notes, went back to his original earlier experiments, often muttered to himself and ran tests over and over. Sometimes he"d become excited and show her things, only to break off in mid-sentence, frowning and turning away to check something else.
Several times a day Sam brought them food, food she hand-fed to Ty to get him to eat, although sometimes even that didn"t work and he ignored the offer. Sam apologized every single time he saw her for his outburst, but Libby couldn"t help but feel uneasy around him. Tyson never looked up or acknowledged his presence.
"Has he eaten anything at all?" Sam asked.