Dream Lover

Chapter 29

"You look radiantly happy," he said, giving her a warm kiss of greeting.

"Come in. I have something wonderful to tell you! Mother was here! Sean found her living in Wicklow and brought her for a visit. You"ve just missed her: Sean has taken her home."

"In Wicklow? But that"s just down the coast. My G.o.d, I can"t believe it! Is she all right?"

"She is wonderful, hasn"t changed at all; she"s as lovely as ever. Johnny, she didn"t desert us. Father almost beat her to death for what she did with Joseph O"Toole and tossed her out so she could never see us again.a "I suspected that"s what happened, and I was glad she was free of him. I always hoped she was living happily in Ireland. Wicklow"s not far off, we"ll be able to see each other from now on."

"She"d just love to see you, Johnny. Why don"t you sail down to Wicklow?"



"Oh, I shall, but d.a.m.n, I can"t go today, Em. I shouldn"t even be here.

Perhaps I can see her next week. Did you take my letter to Nan?" he asked anxiously.

"I did," she said evenly, wanting to tell him of Nan"s plight, but remembering that she had promised not to.

"Will it be all right if I borrow a horse? I want to ride to May-nooth to see her."

"That won"t be necessary, she"s staying here with me."

"Oh, G.o.d, that"s marvelous news. Where is she?"

"She"s upstairs in the same room you used when you were here. Speaking of marvelous news, I believe Nan has some for you, but you"ll have to coax it from her."

He was gone in a flash and remained upstairs for the next two hours. At lunchtime Emerald decided to go upstairs herself, rather than have Kate round them up. Through the closed bedchamber door she heard Nan crying and Johnny trying to soothe her. She knocked lightly and waited to be invited in.

Johnny was pale; his eyes sought out his sister"s for support. "I want us to get married. I want her to come home with me."

Emerald recoiled. "You can"t take her to Portman Square."

"I"ve moved into a flat of my own. I want us to be married."

"Johnny, I agree you and Nan should be married, but don"t take her to England. An Irish girl wouldn"t be happy away from her family, especially a FitzGerald."

Johnny sighed heavily, knowing Emerald spoke the truth. He ran a distracted hand through his brown hair. "Then we"ll have to be married and live apart, at least for the present. There is no way I am leaving Nan with an English b.a.s.t.a.r.d in her belly."

Emerald closed her eyes at the harshness in his voice. This was the second time in as many days she had been reminded that the child she was bearing would be a b.a.s.t.a.r.d. She pushed her own problem away to concentrate on Nan"s. "Do you think lather Fitz would marry you?"

"Oh, I"m sure he would!" Nan"s face lit up with renewed hope.

"Do you mind being married by a Catholic priest, Johnny?"

"Of course not. Let"s go to the chapel right now and talk to him."

"Thank G.o.d Sean isn"t here," Emerald murmured. "Nan, I think we should take Tara with us. Father Fitz is a bigoted, opinionated authoritarian. We need someone from the family who can overrule him if he turns obstinate."

Father Fitz, a beatific look on his round face, joined Nan and John in holy wedlock, then he blessed them. Emerald was astounded at the kindly way he looked at and spoke to Nan, while turning a stony countenance in her direction. Emerald knew that if she asked Father Fitz to keep this from Sean, his wrath would descend upon her, so when she kissed Nan she whispered a suggestion in her ear.

"Please don"t tell the earl, Father. We"ll find the right words ourselves when the time is right."

"What you have done today, my child, pleases G.o.d. I am not in the business of informing on my flock."

Instead of returning to the house, Nan and John went down to the stables, where they could be private to say their farewells and pledge their love and devotion to each other. The Greystones stables were quite large, so hand in hand they made their way to the back and slipped into an empty stall. Johnny sat down in the fresh straw and gently pulled his bride down beside him.

"I love you so much, Nan. I"m sorry that I let this happen to you. I don"t know how I could have been so d.a.m.n careless and thoughtless."

"John, it"s my fault. I didn"t realize it could happen after just one time. I don"t want you to think I did it to trap you into marrying me."

"Nan, sweetheart, don"t blame yourself. I"m the one who should have known better. But I"m not the least bit sorry. Because this happened, we are married a lot sooner than we would have been otherwise. My only regret is that we have to be apart. But Emerald is right about your staying safely in Ireland. My father and I have unfinished business that i must protect you from. I don"t know when I can see you again, but I"ll write to you and if you need me, get a message to Soho.

Don"t sign your name; there is only one lady who will be writing to me.a She lifted her mouth for his kiss. "Love me, Johnny, it may have to last us for months."

Before John went back aboard to continue his voyage, he left a brief note for Sean. "He"ll know I was here within five minutes of dropping anchor. Explain that I only came to give him a report."

"He has an uncanny way of discerning everything that goes on," Emerald said doubtfully.

The worried look came back over Johnny"s face.

"Don"t you worry about Nan. The FitzGerald women are like a sisterhood when it comes to childbearing. They close ranks and will look after her and protect her at all costs, and so will I."

Johnny"s eyes widened in comprehension. "My G.o.d, I must have been blind!

What the h.e.l.l will you do?"

She smiled. "I will have Sean"s baby, of course. Johnny, I couldn"t be happier or safer than here at Greystones. Just look after yourself, Johnny."

Johnny enfolded Nan in his arms for a tender good-bye. He hated to leave his bride, but knew he had little choice. He kissed her for the tenth time and murmured, "Try not to worry about anything, Nan. I promise to write and always remember that I love you!"

Nan was on cloud nine. Even though she was wistful that Johnny had sailed away so quickly, she was vastly relieved that she was no longer in trouble. "Emerald, I can"t believe I"m married! I needed him and he came. Isn"t he just the loveliest man in the entire world?"

Emerald"s strained face softened. "Well, we love him, so perhaps we"re prejudiced. But I am very proud of the way he faced up to his responsibility; he"s a good man who doesn"t give his love and trust carelessly. I"m so thankful Sean didn"t arrive home in the middle of the ceremony."

"Oh, Emerald, I"m such a coward; I don"t want to face him. Would you mind if I went home? I can"t wait to tell my mother, and the cousins will be gra.s.s-green with envy."

"Of course I don"t mind. Would you like me to come with you?"

"No, no, I"ll ask one of the grooms to come with me. If you"re not here when Sean returns, he"ll come to Maynooth for you." "Does he intimidate you so much?"

Nan shivered. "He"s the Earl of Kildare."

Within an hour of Nan"s precipitous departure the Sulphur slipped into Greystones"s own harbor. Emerald spent that hour making herself beautiful for Sean"s return. As she changed her gown for one that had arrived recently from Mrs.

McBride in Dublin, a disconcerting thought struck her. The new garments both accommodated and camouflaged her ripening figure, yet at the time Sean had ordered them, even she herself hadn"t been aware of the child. There was only one possible explanation. Sean had antic.i.p.ated her pregnancy.

As she brushed her hair and threaded a jade-green ribbon through it to match her gown, she admitted that the man she loved was an enigma. He shared many things with her, but never his inner thoughts. He kept them locked inside and he hadn"t yet given her the key.

Suddenly he was home and all her introspection vanished like a magician"s rabbit. Whenever Sean was with her, he lavished all his attention upon her. She knew she was spoiled and felt guilty about wanting more of him.

As he bathed and changed his linen, Emerald joined him. Simply watching him and listening to his deep voice gave her untold pleasure. "Sean, I can never thank you enough for bringing Mother to Grey-stones, and would you believe it? Not an hour after you both left, Johnny arrived. I do wish she could have seen him; it would have made her so happy."

"Well, you had her all to yourself. He"ll see her another time. I"ve been half expecting him."

"He left you a letter ... a report, he called it."

When he took the letter from her, Sean noticed a strained look of anxiety on her face. He opened the note and scanned its contents. "The news is good, but I don"t know why he didn"t wait for my return. Still, he"s only gone over to Lambay Island. I"ll sail over and talk with him."

His dark eyes examined her face. "You look tired. Are you feeling all right, sweeting?" Without waiting for her reply, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down tenderly, then stretched out beside her and gathered her close, smoothing dark tendrils from her brow.

"I don"t need to leave just yet. I"ll stay with you to make sure you rest. Would you like me to rub your back?"

Emerald buried her face in the hollow of his throat. "No," she whispered, "I just want to lie quietly with you and feel your love surround me."

Sean stayed with her until she drifted off to sleep. He smiled down at her.

After the excitement of her visit with Amber and then with John, a little quiet time would do her good. He lifted a curl from the pillow and rubbed the silky texture between his fingers. The tender smile reached all the way to his eyes; at this moment he knew Emerald was happy.

When Johnny saw the sails of the Sulphur approaching Lambay so soon after his own arrival, he stiffened with wariness. Had O"Toole learned about him and Nan so quickly, and was Sean here to beat his brains out? Johnny"s resolve hardened; to h.e.l.l with it, there was nothing he could do about the marriage short of making Nan a widow. For that matter, Sean O"Toole"s behavior didn"t bear close scrutiny. It had been morally wrong to impregnate Emerald when he couldn"t marry her.

When Sean dropped anchor and came ash.o.r.e he was happy to see the skeleton of the old slaver was beyond resurrection. Danny FitzGer-ald had done his work well. Sean greeted Johnny and turned his eyes toward the ship that belonged to the Montague Line. It was one of only four that remained, according to his calculations. Since the crew from the wreck had already boarded the Seagull, O"Toole joined them. Over his shoulder he asked Johnny, "How many crew did you bring?"

"Only three. I was mate and also worked the lines, though I hate the d.a.m.n job."

Sean clapped him on the back and grinned. "You"re a mite pale, but you"re holding up well. Summon the Seagull"s crew; since they"ve sailed to Castle Lies, we can"t let them go back to Montague carrying tales, can we? From your note I take it the Montague Line is ready to secure a hefty marine loan?"

"Father thinks it will be temporary until the insurance pays our losses."

"You"re a shrewd devil; I admire that in a man. It will help you survive in this corrupt world. I"ll be in London shortly. Your loan will be coming from a company called Barclay and Bedford. Doesn"t the name have a solid English ring to it? All I need to secure the loan is the deed on the Montague house in Portman Square."

John stared at him with renewed admiration. When Sean vowed to ruin Montague, he meant it quite literally. When O"Toole was done with his father and Jack, they wouldn"t even have a roof over their heads. It was a b.l.o.o.d.y good thing his father was expecting insurance money from Lloyd"s or he"d never get him to temporarily sign the deed on Portman Square. O"Toole"s next directive emphasized that he was still not done with Wily Willie.

"Why don"t you suggest the Montague Line concentrate on illegal French brandy? The profits far outweigh the risks and the demand will become unquenchable as Christmas approaches."

As the Sulphur and the Seagull sailed away from Lambay in opposite directions, John was thankful there were more hands aboard to set the sails. The encounter with Sean O"Toole had been particularly unsettling and his stomach threatened to void its contents with every successive wave.

O"Toole"s vengeance was relentless. John could not forget the night he had awakened to find Sean"s knife between his legs. When he learned that Nan was with child, would he and his knife be back?

At the wheel of the Sulphur Sean O"Toole"s thoughts did dwell on Johnny Montague for a while, but those thoughts were filled with a grudging respect. Sean knew without John"s cooperation, his task would be prodigious indeed. One thing was evident, Johnny Montague was no longer gutless.

The hour was late when Sean arrived back at Greystones. He trod softly as he ascended the stairs and slipped silently into the master bedchamber. Nevertheless Emerald sat up in bed and lit the lamp on the bedside table, "I"m sorry, love, I didn"t want to disturb you."

Mischievous green eyes tempted him from beneath black lashes.

"How different we are, for I certainly want to disturb you, my lord. It"s one of life"s more t.i.tillating pleasures."

Sean removed his leather jack and stripped off his linen shirt. "An evening"s rest seems to have restored your vitality." He stepped toward the bathroom.

"And my appet.i.te. Don"t wash; I want to smell you and taste you."

Her husky words stopped him in his tracks. His compulsion to be immaculately spotless melted away for the first time since he had left the hulks.

29.

As autumn turned into winter, Emerald was most thankful that Ireland did not experience freezing ice and snow. There were many days that were damp and raw, and of course the hours of daylight were considerably shortened, but this made the evenings longer.

Most nights Emerald and Sean retired upstairs early, shutting out the world, needing no one but themselves. Sometimes they even dined in their bedchamber and afterward they would play chess, read together companionably, or make love.

Her pregnancy was evident now, but like many small women, she carried it well and did not look clumsy. Her plumpness merely added to her femininity. Sean became more tenderly solicitous and protective as the weeks slipped by, often carrying her, regularly ma.s.saging her back and thighs, making her feel totally cherished.

Until now Sean O"Toole had effectively held at bay all thoughts of returning Emerald to her family; it was something he would do in the future. But the future had an implacable way of becoming the present.

Sean had visited his mother"s grave every single day since returning to Ireland after his long imprisonment. He never missed taking fresh flowers and kneeling beneath the willow tree in the walled garden. Of a sudden he began to avoid Kathleen"s grave, as he fought an inner battle. During the long nights he held Emerald for hours, needing to feel she was there as he restlessly drifted in and out of sleep.

Steeling himself for what he knew he must do was more than difficult, it was one of the hardest things he"d ever faced. He mentally counted, for what seemed the thousandth time, how far along she was. It had been May when she told him of the baby and it was now late November.

By Sean"s calculation she would have the child in February; perhaps early in February. However, he had first made love to her in April, and if she"d conceived immediately it might even arrive in January. The sea voyage could be a risk to her health if he put it off much longer. His tortured thoughts chased each other in circles.

One thing was certain: He wanted her with him for Christmas, and he made a firm decision they would spend it together at Greystones. He stubbornly refused to think beyond the festive holiday.

Once his decision was made, Sean put aside all his misgivings, all dark thoughts, by sheer dint of will. As a result his mood lightened considerably and he was able to join in the plans Emerald and the staff were organizing to make this Christmas a joyous occasion.

The big house was gaily decorated with holly, ivy, mistletoe, and evergreen boughs. Tara was once again at Greystones. Maggie, Meggie, and Meagan each came for a month, then Tara insisted it was again her turn. She spent hours in the stillroom making scented candles and bowls of potpourri, as well as distilling liqueurs from pears, quince, and apricots.

All during December, whenever an O"Toole vessel arrived, the FitzGerald crews were invited in to share the festive food Mary Malone prepared from morning till night. Mr. Burke brought ale and whisky up from the cellars and Greystones rang with laughter and music.

Even Shamus allowed Sean or Paddy Burke to bring him down from his watchtower to join the merrymaking. He teased Emerald unmercifully about being a Christmas pudding and she joined in the banter, giving as good as she got.

In Ireland Christmas Eve was a holy night and at Greystones after the evening meal, everyone went along to church for a carol service and a celebration of midnight Ma.s.s. Everyone, that is, except Emerald and Sean. Together they snuffed the candles on the tall fir tree, then Sean lifted her high against his heart and carried her upstairs.

"Do you miss going to church?" she asked softly.

He gave a short bark of laughter. "No. Religion is for the ignorant."

"I went one day when Nan was here. Father Fitz refused me communion."

He set her feet to the carpet and stared down at her. "Did you really feel the need to go?"

"I wanted to pray for the baby and for your safety when you sailed out in the storm."

"You were being fanciful. There is no personal G.o.d to watch over us and keep us from harm, Emerald. Adversity taught me to rely on myself, and I have tried to pa.s.s that lesson along to you."

"The priest is angry with you because you have not set foot in church since you returned to Ireland."

"What did Father Fitz say to you?"

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