Dream Star

---
20XX

"Heart," Lila trailed off and laughed sheepishly, " I"m not saying that I have no emotions, because I"m actually quite of a crybaby. There"s no use in hiding that now that you"ve seen me at my worst. However, the majority of my emotions have steeled themselves. Happiness is within my grasp, and yet there is a hidden fear that pulls me away from it like a strong force. It"s within reach, but I won"t touch it until the fear disappears."

"And if it doesn"t disappear?"

"I will simply remain how I am now." There would be nothing lost, but there would be nothing gained either. It would all come to a standstill — her world.

"Look at this starry sky," Ageha suddenly said, Eh? Lila"s gaze lands on the night sky, covered with stars, "Only a handful of stars can outs.h.i.+ne the rest. Become the worlds brightest star and s.h.i.+ne brighter than anyone else. Teras.h.i.+ma Lila, to accomplish that, you have to get stronger. I believe you will be able to do so."

--
Present

Lila wonders if something"s changed since then. She"s dating Haruka now, and she"s able to pull even brighter stages. Yet it"s still empty. Something"s still not quite right until her fear disappears then eventually everything she"s built up since then will disappear. It will vanish.

Haruka, she doesn"t want to hurt him. Right now, she really is happy; he"s been giving her so much happiness and joy since they first met. But it"s only when they started dating, that she"s been able to express those emotions to him. From the very start, it was always going to be Haruka for her. No matter how many encounters she had afterward, she never once thought of anybody else. For her, there would always be one person she cared about above the others.

However, if this keeps this up, she won"t be able to be with him truly. Unless she finds that missing piece and dispels the fear in her heart, then she will only ever be his in name. Acchan, what did she think when they first met, and she didn"t recognize her despite her name?

Acchan, what did she think when she failed, and she told her that story? Since meeting Acchan again, all sorts of emotions that she locked away are being broken bit by bit. When Lila thought about the last stage she saw from Yos.h.i.+kawa Ageha, she remembers how excited she was. Even though perfection isn"t an ideology that will last long for the majority of people, she has been able to change into strength.

Not many people can do that. She gave her that mini-lecture that time she came over to visit. But she didn"t mean any harm by it. She said those words to strengthen Acchan"s resolve. Being a perfect idol in this world isn"t easy. The fact that she"s been able to do so without critics this entire time really goes to show how firm her resolve is. Acchan"s stage is impressive. But there"s another person who she has always respected.

Her best friend, Iwa Kasumi. Her best friend being a beauty type idol always worries about image maintenance, that"s why she always practices in secret. During the time"s, people are supposed to be sleeping, Kasumi is awake and working hard. At the start, it looked as though she would follow Miyabi-senpai"s footsteps. But at some point like herself, she discovered another path. To work towards being that sort of idol instead.

Everybody around her is so amazing, so where does that leave a girl like her? Just as she thought this Haruka stopped and pushed her against the wall.

"Where"s my kiss?" he demanded.

Lila laughed, "Um, aren"t we too far away?"

"That guy looked uncomfortable; I"m not that cruel."

Oh, he"s acting considerate again. Lila wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned forward as she pressed his lips against his.

"Mmmm," he hummed against her lips, "Open your mouth?"

"Nuh-uh, this is all your getting."

Her thoughts broke off when she finds Haruka looking at her with an intense gaze in his eyes. Ah.

"Whenever I touch you, I can"t help but want more. The inner beast inside me gets unleashed, and I end up with all sorts of twisted thoughts," he deeply sighed, "Iwa Kasumi knows, right? And your other friends, that"s why they act this way. I"m not good for you Lila, I"ve always known that."

Lila was about to protest, but he covers her mouth with his hands, "Listen to me rant for a bit okay?"

Lila nodded, and he removed his hands. She reached over and pulled Haruka into her arms, so she was resting his head on her chest.

"Mmm, guess I can tell my worries while being in paradise."

She flushed red, knowing what he meant by paradise, "Stupid."

"But yeah, my past isn"t simple. I"ve told you bits and pieces, the rest I"m sure you found when you investigated me."

"I"m sorry," Lila apologized, "But Soichiro told me I couldn"t just do the mission without any prior reading, so I had no choice. But that was the only case I read about. Nothing else."

Haruka nodded, "There isn"t anything else other than that. That was the most important one. I was struggling how to tell you; I didn"t want you to be scared of me."

"But?"

"I realized you knew from the start, and yet you decided to be with me regardless of my past. Knowing that made me feel happy," he muttered, "When I"m with you, I feel like it"s truly okay for me to change."

"It"s okay, Haruka; you don"t have to care about others. If you want to change you can, if you don"t, don"t. Don"t force yourself to do anything you don"t want; don"t hold yourself back."

"Hold myself back, huh?" Lila noticed that he had lifted his head from her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and was looking at her intently.

"I"m holding back on a lot of things."

"You are? That"s no good!" Holding back on things isn"t healthy; this is something she knew very well. Especially for hanyou"s, what is he holding back on? Perhaps she can help him with it?

"Mainly about you," he muttered.

Lila felt her heart skip a beat when she saw how he was looking at her. She suddenly felt incredibly shy and wanted to hide. The things Haruka is holding back on is her. Lila immediately understood what he meant by those words; he is talking about "that." The two of them tend to avoid discussing hanyou related matters since she wants him to live a healthy life. But, when it comes to hanyou matters and intimacy...

"Lila," Haruka called her name softly, "It seems like I can call you that easily now, maybe deep down, I"m starting to become more accepting."

"Haruka."

"But, there are things I"m holding back on. Things I wish you would notice."

Lila hid her fl.u.s.tered face with her hands, "He"s so serious right now," usually, she would tell him to quit it. But when Haruka is serious like this, she doesn"t know how to react. The truth is, she has noticed. Haruka wants to be with her more, Haruka wants to always be together. Haruka wants to touch her all night long; he wants to hold her in his arms truly. He doesn"t want to hold back. But doing it in their hanyou states means revealing everything about themselves.

She"s only ever done that with Kiryu before, and it was only one time too. Haruka removed her hands and gently kissed them, "H--Haruka."

"Will you think about it? I"m serious about you; I really do want you to be my wife. I"m willing to show that side of myself to you; the one people see as dangerous - knowing that you"d accept me."

Lila slowly nodded her head, because what could she really say? She"s never seen Haruka like this before and did not know what to do. It didn"t help how incredibly embarra.s.sed she was getting too.

"Good, then let"s head back."

Lila reached over and tugged on his clothing, "Weren"t we meant to make out," she said shyly, "You don"t want to anymore?"

"I do," he cupped her cheeks, "My dear, you really do know what I like."

"Me, right?"

"Only you can make me feel this way."

Only her? She"s happy, Haruka"s arms wrapped around her waist and pull her closer, "Is it only restricted to kissing?"

"O--f course," she muttered, "Don"t you remember our promise?"

"I remember, but making out involved touching."

"Okay, do what you want, dummy," she scolded him, and his lips fell on hers, "Haruka, do you love me?"

"I love you, Lila."

...
Of course, Rosalichan wasn"t going to just let them have their way. Quite some time had pa.s.sed since she had engaged in any fighting, not including those secret jobs she did for Soichiro back when they were in London. It still surprised her to this day that Haruka never noticed. Speaking of him, "So much for staying together, why did he head back inside?" Lila pondered. He didn"t go back to negotiate, did he? No, that would be stupid. Haruka understands Rosalichan far better than her, that woman won"t stop now that she"s pushed them all this far.

Still, for Haruka to stop like that. She wonders what that phone call was all about. Lila recalled what happened before he stopped, and her cheeks reddened. They made a deal, so all he could do was tease her and yet, "Stupid Haruka," why does he do these things that make her speechless?