The people around her aren"t stupid. Even if she says nothing, her actions, her behavior is enough for them to understand. She held back for the longest time; she feared that people would learn her ident.i.ty. She feared what they would say. How many years has she spent in the entertainment industry? Worrying about such things seems so superficial. Superficial, and not like her at all. Yet, Lila knew how worried and paranoid she became. She feared that Haruka would realize the truth.When she first started dating Karas.h.i.+ma Haruka. Lila knew she not only still loved Kiryu. But, the feelings she had for Haruka were not that strong. That"s why she could look past all those girls clinging to him. However, it"s different now. Now that her feelings are serious. Lila realizes how petty she can actually be.
"The present, past, and future die away as they repeat
Just like hope and despair, even so, I embrace what"s precious
Alice knows the loopholes of this world,
Showing me the different views I"m seeing.." Kiryu sang.
"You see, Acchan, it"s not like I don"t understand where everybody is coming from. One of the main reasons I became this way is because of Haruka. Haruka is a bad influence. That"s for sure. However, when I saw how hard he worked for me to become successful. I realized that as a star, there are many things I lack," Lila trailed off, and her gaze softens. "He"s always working hard for me. Initially, I understand that he was using me for his own gains. But, the more he helped me. Haruka changed his mind because he understood what I was aiming for."
"Illuminating me are the stars in the night sky
So I continue singing without fear
If it"s my imagination, then I won"t stop again
I take hold as I fall down
Even as these hands shatter everything, I don"t need wings to fly.." Kiryu sang.
"What are you aiming for?" Ageha asked. "The current you, the Teras.h.i.+ma Lila, who went on her journey. What answers did you find?"
"It"s still a bit difficult for me to say. But, I can say so for sure that the answer I found isn"t any different to the answer I had originally. Most people would say, then what was the point in going on your journey? Indeed, even I thought it was pointless. However," she took a few steps forward. "It seems like. I found the bit that was missing. Kiryu"s songs, no," she shook her head. "Austin Kiryu, he is the key to the answer I"ve been looking for."
It"s no wonder she had such a hard time at the beginning because she neglected it, where everything started. This journey, before it. The reason she pursued her career. The one person who was by her side during those difficult times. It"s only natural that he would be the key. Yet, she feigned ignorance for so long.
"Lila," Ageha trailed off. "Come to the s.h.i.+p in a few day"s time, were having a party."
Lila laughed, "I will hear your answer then, I guess? Sure, I will go. Can I bring Haruka?"
"Of course."
...
She still had a few minutes left before going on stage since there are a few announcements at the beginning.
"Good work!" Lila said as she handed Kiryu a drink.
Kiryu smiled, "Found your answer?"
"Che, if you knew, you should have told me."
Kiryu always does things so indirectly. If she didn"t know him as well as she did, then Lila would never have figured it out. "Whether it"s the festival, or your stage today. You"ve really gotten better."
"You"ve unleashed a monster," Kiryu joked. "This is your fault."
Her gaze softens, "Indeed, it probably is. Hey Kiryu, what do you think my dream is right now? I went on that journey, and while I struggled to reach an answer. It seemed like I already knew my answer deep down."
"Your experiences helped shaped who you are today. So, I figured that the more experience you got. Then you"ll eventually find what was missing."
"You"re so indirect," Lila sighed. "You should have told me from the beginning."
"There would have been no point," Kiryu extended his hands out. "Hey, sit next to me."
Lila looked at him, suspiciously, "What are you going to do to me?"
"Nothing, except. Let me borrow your shoulder a bit."
Ah, is he tired? Lila nodded and sat down next to him. The moment she did, Kiryu rested his head on her shoulder. "Kiryu, you seem very tired. I think you"re overworking yourself too."
"Yeah, I am. But, I just need to rest a bit."
"Kiryu, you know.."
"Lila," Kiryu murmured softly. "I don"t mind. Even if you take years before you return to me, I"ll wait for you forever."
She doesn"t want that. She doesn"t want Kiryu to waste his life away for her. Lila wanted to make it clear to Kiryu right now. But, recalling what she said to Haruka. Lila knew she had to refrain herself from saying anything now.
Lila didn"t reply, but she reached over and ran her hands through his silver locks. "From now on, I"ll be serious. No matter what anybody says about me, no matter what they think."
"Yeah."
"Becoming a singer, standing on stage, and conveying my song to millions of people. It"s always been my dream. Even though I became an idol, originally to help spread the message my mother left behind. I"ve always loved to sing."
"I know," Kiryu nodded. "That"s why I could tell. Ever since you left, you haven"t sung from the bottom of your heart. When was the last time you smiled and enjoyed a performance? Haruka means well, but his methods are too much. It felt like he was backing you into a corner."
"Haruka, he..doesn"t understand it. Music comes from the heart."
"No, he understands. But, he didn"t have anybody besides him for so long. Those around him couldn"t teach him what love was, because they were the same type. Hiding their loneliness through l.u.s.tful acts, hiding their pain."
Kiryu is talking a lot. This is because he understands what Haruka has gone through. Perhaps the one who understands Haruka the most is not her but -- her thoughts broke of when she spotted a man with brown hair approaching them.
Ah, it"s Haruka…
"There you are."
"Ah, um," Lila immediately stood up and left Kiryu"s side. She rushed over, and Haruka gently cupped her cheeks. "Um, hubby."
"Time to go. You"re in the center; you can"t be late."
"Right, uh…" Lila looked down. Why does it feel like she got caught doing something terrible there?
Haruka, however, didn"t seem to notice her discomfort and simply nodded. "Let"s go now."
"Okay."
Lila stole a glance at Kiryu, the look on his face hadn"t changed. "He held back for so long." His actions now are normal. But, Lila wishes he chose a different time for this. It"s hard to perform with such stifling feelings. Lila shook her head, no - she can sing just fine. The problem is, she is worried about what Haruka thinks. He clearly saw that, but right now, he"s acting normal.
Haruka won"t lash out here when they are at work. But maybe later? Lila sighed; she shouldn"t have such little faith in him. Haruka is a grown adult.