*UNEDITED*So many people have said those words to her. They say they "believe in her." But, why do they believe in her? Why do they like her so much? She hasn"t exactly done anything to make them like her and yet..So many people believe and put their faith in her. In other people"s eyes, has she really become someone they can admire?
"Progress can"t occur without trying new things." k.u.mi suddenly said.
Ah, Lila nodded. "The idol festival? Rikksan and Haruka are working very hard on it."
"That"s why he comes to the hospital late." Not just the festival but the drama too. Haruka has a lot to do these days, but he spends most of his time with Rikksan. If only she could look at everything objectively like k.u.mi-senpai. Lila knew comparing was stupid. But Haruka and her have gone through a lot of things together too. Yet it seems like they end up going back and forth in circles instead.
They love each other so much. Lila can feel Haruka"s love for her a lot more these days. But,
k.u.mi chuckles. "I didn"t bring this up so you could brood about it."
"Ah, uh…"
"I know, your jealous aren"t you Lilchan? Your husband spends so much time with another woman."
At that comment, Lila sighed. "I know I"m acting very stupid k.u.mi-senpai. But, I have jealousy problems."
"It isn"t jealousy problems. Lilchan, are you afraid of people leaving you? Because of what Sumire-san and Kanagawsan did?"
"I don"t blame them," Lila mumbled. "Those two did so much for me, how could I possibly blame them. And yet, I wish they told me properly. I was young, yes but even I knew our situation was strange. Ren-san wasn"t my father, but he came over a lot. And he had a strange relations.h.i.+p with mother."
"Sometimes she would see Ren-san kiss mother. But mother would always break down in tears." Lila thought they were a strange couple. Why would she cry whenever Ren-san kissed her despite liking him? Mother told her from the start that Ren-san wasn"t her father, and informed her who her father was. But that didn"t stop her from getting attached to him.
It didn"t stop her from ignoring any mention of her father and focusing on Ren-san. As a young girl, it was normal for her to focus on the people she could see. Lila felt guilty about ignoring her father but she liked Ren-san a lot. He was always there from her. She liked him better than this mysterious father who was never around.
Mother cried whenever Ren-san kissed her or acted affectionate. However Lila knew her mother"s feelings. If she didn"t like him that way, she wouldn"t have asked him to look after her.
"Even now, do you still…"
Lila shook her head. "It wasn"t fair of me to treat father that way. I"ve learned that Ren-san wasn"t perfect either. I mean who abandons their child to look after another person"s child?
She felt awful for Haruka. But he always told her not to mind it. "I"m glad he kept you safe. If he didn"t and something happened to you, I wouldn"t forgive him either." Haruka"s words echoed in her head but she shook her head.
"Is it that easy to abandon your child?" Lila recalled Ren-san"s expression when she asked him.
"You don"t understand Lilchan?"
"Understand?"
"Kanagawsan must have loved Sumire-san a great deal. I heard about the rumors before but it seems like I was right. Even now he must still love her dearly. Besides Lilchan, do you know who came up with the idol festival?"
"Eh? The idol board and Rikksan"s company right?"
"No, it was me." k.u.mi"s lips curve to a smile. "You see Lilchan I did it for you. The past few months since you started your journey you"ve suffered a lot."
"But I..."
"You want to perform with everyone don"t you?"
At that comment Lila looked down at her feet. "It"s selfish of me to even wish for such a thing."
k.u.mi shook her head. "It isn"t selfish. You need to take all your experiences and connect everybody. Just like your mother and your sister. No," k.u.mi trailed off. "Teras.h.i.+ma Lila, if it"s you. I can see a brighter future ahead. I have no doubt in your abilities."
"I suddenly feel pressured."
"I"ve always felt that you were an interesting idol. Your sister was interesting too. But you are different from her."
"Different?"
How many times have people told her that? How many people have said the same thing? Sometimes it feels like they are doing this deliberately. Her uneasy, anxiety and fears pop up.
k.u.mi suddenly stop up. "People say many things about the way you debuted. But, whether those rumors are true or not doesn"t better. Your feelings towards the idol world, are the same as everyone who stood in that position."
With those words said Lila watched as k.u.mi-senpai head over to the kitchen. Her gaze fell on Yumeko who was fast asleep on the mini dinning table. "The same feelings, huh?" It"s not like she doesn"t understand where k.u.mi-senpai is coming from. When it comes to anything music related. Lila is always serious, that"s why she understood the meaning behind the girls words immediately.
In order for the entertainment industry to grow. She has to continue growing, as everyone"s current light.
After a few minutes, Haruka emerged from the doorway and walked over to her. Lila remained in a daze as she looked at the ceiling.
"Hey."
Lila extended her hand out, and Haruka grabbed hold of it. He immediately pulled her to her feet, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hubby."
"Mmmm?"
"Bedroom."
Haruka chuckled and lifted her up so she was in his arms. For a while there was nothing but silence. Lila didn"t know whether k.u.mi-senpai and her brother would stay now. It seemed like the two had important matters to discuss. Lila didn"t say anything until they arrived in the room. Even then Lila attacked him with kisses down his neck.
"My wife, what"s wrong with you now?"
"Nothing is wrong, I just want you."
"Your thirsty again? You"ve been drinking a lot lately. Is it not enough?"
Lila shook her head, "Not that…"
Haruka"s gaze softened. "Relax my wife. A few months okay? Just wait a bit."
But, she feels like she will lose him if they continue this way. Lila didn"t know why such a strange thought was entering her mind now of all times. Haruka already proved to her how much he loves her. What more does she want from him? At this stage, she is starting to sound annoying, nagging him all the time.
"I"m sleepy."
Haruka laid her down on the bed. "Alright, go to sleep now."
Lila immediately cuddled up against him and she felt his arms wrapped around her waist. A content sigh pa.s.sed her lips. She needs to stop overthinking things. Haruka won"t abandon her. No matter what Zane or Sophia does. But, "lately, she keeps getting this bad feeling."