Lila wanted to wait until the concert started. She would openly declare her feelings for Haruka in front of so many people. It would have been the most romantic confession ever. She planned it after she sorted out her own thoughts and spoke with her brother. Haruka is his first love; she met him before she met Kiryu. Even now it was hard for her to comprehend, but all the confusing feelings she had previously have disappeared entirely. Her mind is clear now. The person in front of her is somebody she has had feelings for a long time. When did it start, she didn"t know. But since then he has completely taken over her thoughts.She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled her closer to him, as she faintly whispered in his ear, "I love you Haruka."
"...You don"t be reckless."
Lila laughed, she more or less expected this reaction of his. But she could tell he was trying to process what he just said.
"I do love you Haruka."
Haruka pulled away and sat up. He took a cigarette out from his pocket and started to smoke, "That"s because you don"t remember." Haruka said this last line quietly. But Lila heard him.
So part of the reason Haruka seems distant at times is because of what happened in the past? She understands now. Lila hugged him, "I"m starting to remember.."
This wasn"t a lie since her conversation with her brother she is slowly starting to form pieces of the past. Though it cost her severely, degrading her already bad health. She didn"t mind paying that price. Haruka must have realized since he turned around and hugged her. "You"re stupid…" Haruka said.
"But I love you Haru-kun. I have for a long time now," Lila nodded to herself, even long before all of this she"s loved him. Even if she didn"t get her memories back that hasn"t changed, she continued, " " I love you. I love everything about you, and I always have. I love you; I remember only bits and pieces. But I do remember where this all began. From the very start, I"ve always loved you.:" Just like that time, I should repeat it. I love you. I really love you. From the very start even if I liked and cared about other people in between. The one I found myself longing for was only Haruka. I love you so much that it"s painful and hard to breathe and yet I don"t want to let you go. I always want to be in your arms. I want us, always to be together."
By this point, the tears were naturally spilling down from her eyes.
Haruka exhaled deeply, "It does feel like I"m dreaming. But this isn"t a dream huh? Even towards someone like me you"d--" Lila harshly cuts him off.
"Don"t say that anymore. I accept it. No matter what you did in the past, my feelings won"t change."
Haruka kissed her lightly, "After your concert, I will tell you a few things. But I may not be able to tell you everything right away. Is that fine with you?"
Lila smiled, "Yes, that"s okay," Lila noticed her tears had yet to vanish.
She felt his hand on hers, and Lila up, "Haruka. ."
"Repeat the last line for me."
The last line, Lila understood and wiped her tears away as she looked at Haruka and said, " I, I want us always to be together," Lila asked, she wants them to be together with him. These feelings may seem vague and uncertain to others. But none of that mattered to her.
Haruka pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, "Together? I can do that. I"ve only ever wanted you, but you were happy with Austin Kiryu. How could I possibly steal you away? I wanted you so badly. I controlled my urges for the longest time and convinced myself that I only desired you and didn"t love you. But each time you came close that wall vanished, Lila, even if you can"t love me more than you love him. Thank you for loving me."
....
Stage
Usually, before concerts, she would look outside and take a peek at how many guests there were. To see how many people came. The thrill of being on such a large stage after so long she experienced during the first round of the tournament already. For Lila standing on such a large stage evokes different types of feelings. It"s okay; she can do this. It"s just like her mother said, whether it"s as Teras.h.i.+ma Lila or Kiku Ari.
In the end, her goal hasn"t changed; she will convey these beautiful feelings and emotions inside her heart. She will make sure peoples voices are heard and that everybody s.h.i.+nes. Lila recalled Haruka"s trembling figure in her arms. He was shaking so much, even after she told him those words. Haruka, his unease is usual. After all this whole time she"s only ever loved Kiryu, for her to suddenly change her mind; anyone would be confused.
However, Lila is certain of her feelings for Haruka. These feelings are real, and she will convey it properly. So people can understand, even those who looked down on her.
...
After the first few songs, Lila stopped singing. Everybody seemed confused since the MC part wasn"t until later.
"Before I continue. Let me speak a few words. Are you all having fun?" Lila asked, the crowd bursts into cheers, her gaze softened, "That"s good. The next song I want to dedicate this next song to a certain someone. No to a certain group of people. Oh but I"ll mainly be biased with this next song, you can take it in whatever context you want. But the meaning for me can only be love. Even then, this meaning will differ per person. When I first became an idol and started singing, I mainly sang for romantic love. However, the reason I sing varies a great deal now. For that person"s sake, for everyone else"s and to make you all smile. But in the end, the one who is giving me strength is indeed the person I love. There may have been unsettling rumors recently, and I can"t exactly say our relations.h.i.+p is perfect. But a relations.h.i.+p without flaws wouldn"t be one in the first place. Through pain and hards.h.i.+ps, through many separations. When we come together again, we fall deeper in love. I love you."
Lila smiled happily as she took a deep breath before she said into the mic, "Haruka, are you watching? Please watch me carefully."
She no longer wants to lie.