*UNEDITED*No matter how many books she browsed through. Lila gradually got distracted, her thoughts playing games with her.
She can only rely on herself and n.o.body else. Ah, but once upon a time there may have been time where she attempted to rely on someone, only to end up corrupting the person along the way. In that case is there any need for her to rely on other people?
Whenever Lila tried, she ends up destroying that persons life and causing them pain. If that"s what the outcome will be then there is no need for her to rely on other people.
She is stronger alone, and the strength she has gained is evidence for this. There is no point in getting attached to people, because in the end of the day you can only truly count on yourself. For the longest time she believed this, and yet her ideals were crushed so easily.
If people suffer when getting involved with others and hurt each other. Then, is there any need to form these connections? The real answer is "no." There is no need for such shallow relations.h.i.+ps and yet humans are strange creatures. They cannot live in solitude, they crave the warmth of another person.
To reach further heights, one has to discard something important.
Discard it all, what"s the most important and truly stand on that stage " alone". Lila closed her eyes, even now she could see it clearly. If she closes her eyes she could see the light from that time. The reason she is strong is because she threw away all of her naive ness and attachments a long time ago. But rather then say thrown away perhaps it would most accurate to say, that people tossed her aside.
Because there is n.o.body in this world who would bother with someone such as herself. Someone so cruel ad twisted. That"s fine, perhaps she isn"t someone who needs others. Perhaps all she needs is to embrace this loneliness and solitude.
Lila didn"t know how long she spent reading, when she felt Kiryu hit her head lightly.
"Don"t fall asleep here."
"I wasn"t sleeping."
Kiryu chuckled. "Can I sit with you?"
"Feel free."
Lila couldn"t be bothered to sit down in the seating area, so she simply sat down on the ground. Kiryu immediately sat down, but Lila noticed he did so behind her not beside her. His back pressed against her and it made her feel all warm and fuzzy.
Her thoughts broke off when he grabbed hold of her hand. "Nervous?"
Lila laughed. "Did you do this to make me nervous. You"re so silly Kiryu."
"I just wanted to make you feel a bit better. Sorry about saying all that stuff about Haruka. I know how bad things are for you two now."
She shook her head. "You don"t have to worry. I thought the same too. I"m worried, he hasn"t replied to my message."
"Lila."
"It"s okay Kiryu. I"m just paranoid. Just because Haruka can"t reply right away doesn"t mean something bad happened. I can"t watch him all the time."
"Don"t think about it now, okay? If you want to talk. Let"s do so over some coffee or something."
"An excuse to meet." Lila"s gaze softened. Since when did they have to resort to that?
"Your warm, that means your alive," Kiryu suddenly said. "You were the one that told me this before. That"s why, there is no need for you to make such a face. If your sad and lonely about something though, there are plenty of people you can rely on. Lila, I understand that even now you still can"t see the significance of keeping others around you. Indeed I can"t deny the fact that it"s tiring at times."
".....then why do you still keep it up?" Lila wondered.
"That"s a simple answer, because we are born to be alive. To meet other people and to share feelings of love, pain, happiness, anger. We are born to live. That"s why, humans can never truly be alone."
At that comment her eyes widened and she sighed. "In the end, you copied everything I said."
He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "Well my Lila told me some very useful things."
"My Lila." Kiryu said that so easily, he didn"t hesitate at all. This person still hasn"t changed. It was her, she was the problem. She was the one making things difficult for them both. It was awkward? Sure it was, but Kiryu is not the type to avoid her over something like that. He is the type of person who would rather talk things out.
Whenever it comes to this person, for some reason she cannot be her usual self. She cannot say something mean or express her disregard of others and her questioning of their actions. When it comes to this person she cannot do that, in fact the instant second she sees her face a part of her feels relieved somehow.. That relief, always makes her want to cry.
...
It turns out looking for that person was useless. That woman Wataru"s half sister was found dead a few minutes ago. One of the HYOU4 staff members saw Kiryu and her use the side-entrance. So he personally came to fetch them. It seems like Reis.h.i.+-san wasn"t around, so Kiryu didn"t have to go through the trouble. Her gaze fell on the body on the stretcher covered in a sheet. "She doesn"t want to look."
No matter how many times she she sees it, she isn"t comfortable at all.
It"s common for people to fear death.
To fear weapons, guns, swords anything that can harm someone. Anything that can put a end to another persons life. One wouldn"t carry one on a daily basis since it simply isn"t something normal. Since it is something that is outside the norm then people won"t accept it. That"s why Lila knew this news would blow up.
Kiryu wrapped his jacket around her. "Don"t look if you don"t want to."
"Kiryu.."
"It"s okay Lila," Kiryu mumbled. "I know you don"t like seeing blood."
So attentive and caring towards her. "He hasn"t changed at all." Lila shook her head, "They called us over because we can see things others can"t. Two people is better than one, I will help you."
He brushed his lips against hers and for a moment Lila froze. She thought he would kiss her but he didn"t. Kiryu drew back and nodded. "Yeah, please help me."