When she woke up, she is no longer on the ground but on the bed with a cooling pad on her forehead. Her fever must have returned."Haruka?" Lila called out. No response. She frowned slightly and scanned the room. She couldn"t find him.
Did..did he leave?
She should understand this by now. That he doesn"t treat any other girl special and yet, "belong only to me.." Does..does he say that to other girls too? Lila groggily gets up, despite her whole body aching, she wrapped the blanket around her and walked around. She should take a bath... Just as she was thinking that she caught movement in the mini kitchen. Ah...
....
She made her way over, and sure enough, there was Haruka.
Lila blinked seeing him with a frying pan, and several ingredients and bowls on the desktop. She tilted her head in confusion. Haruka noticed her immediately as he looked up.
"Oh, it"s just you."
"What are you doing?" Lila asked.
"Cooking." He replied.
?
"It"s been a while since I did this. So it probably won"t taste good. But, it"ll do."
Oh...
"Lay back down," Haruka instructed.
"I want to watch you."
He seemed puzzled and yet puts the pan down for a second and walked over, he scooped her in his arms and placed her on the counter. He really is far kinder than she thought so originally.
"...why are you so happy?" Haruka asked.
"Just because."
"Odd girl."
But she really...is happy. She feels content.
.
.
She should have guessed he would do something like this.
"How"s the taste?"
"Good."
"Have another."
Unconsciously she found herself repeating the same motions that he did... It"s good... She...she wants --
"Haruka..."
"Hm?"
Seeing his sly smile, her cheeks flushed red due to embarra.s.sment. W--what? What a horrible tease! But..he seemed to be more relaxed now. That"s good.
.
.
"Ah, it"s burned slightly."
"..."
Lila laughed, "I"m joking! It"s tasty, thank you."
She didn"t think he would make such efforts for her. She"s very happy.
It didn"t take long before she finished her meal, and when she did Haruka carried her back. Lila watched him busily type away from his laptop, "Haruka?"
"Yeah?"
"Get closer?" She asked.
He seemed hesitant before getting up and sitting down on the bed. Lila s.h.i.+fted closer until she was resting her head on his back.
"Don"t mess with me too much. I really do like you."
"I know."
She understood that all too well. She"s had a lot of time to think about it, since then. "Haruka, could you tell me more about yourself?"
"There"s not much to say."
".."
"Well, I was always alone when I was a kid. In the beginning, I was convinced I didn"t have any parents. If I did, I was abandoned. For a while, I lived with somebody and he gave me my name and taught me everything I needed to know. The old man had a hobby, music. He told me he used to enter tournaments, but after his injury, he never played again. But that was all he taught me, music and some daily things."
Come to think of it, Ren-san never explained it to her.. Why did he abandon Haruka? At such a young age too.
"Why not?"
"He died."
. . ..
"So I became alone again. At that time, it felt very tiring to live. But I"d rather be killed than starve to death. So I did what I could, in order to survive. I don"t know where I was before but it was a run down place, I learned a lot. I managed to convince someone to buy me a ticket to England, expecting that life would be better there. But that"s not the case. It was just as bad there, for someone without money. So I threatened, stole and bribed people. In order to live a better life. I wanted to escape from being poor and slept with so many women, for money.
When I met that guy abroad, and he approached me. I wanted to destroy it, everything he owned. He would mention it every day and show pictures of his girl. It bothered me. So what? So what if you have someone special? I have loads of people too, loads of women. Being tied to one person is boring. That"s what I thought until I heard her singing. Perhaps I could escape the corruption of this world if I had her."
. . . "Teras.h.i.+ma Lila?" she murmured, referring to herself.
"Yeah, but it was hopeless. That girl doesn"t like me. She never will."
That"s not, that"s not it...
Last year, he was the one who drove her to this point...
It"s because of him, she was finally able to confront those things she evaded before.
"With all this said though, I"ve never once felt sad."
!
"Honestly, you"d think I would with my circ.u.mstances being like that. But I was never sad. In fact, I was grateful. Even though the path I took wasn"t exactly filled with rose coloured gla.s.s. When I think about it, that sort of life wouldn"t suit me anyway. What I have now, is closest to having a purpose in life."
. . . she understood that too; with Haruka"s personality, having a peaceful ordinary life wouldn"t suit him, and yet. She tugged on his hand and he turned around.
"Are you happy?"
"Happy?"
"Ah-huh."
He paused and for a moment, before continuing. "In the past, if you asked me that I would have brushed you off or even said cold. What does it mean to be happy? I don"t think anyone really knows. It"s probably different per person. But for sure, it"s something I"ve never seen before, until ..." he gently caressed her cheek. Ah...
"..but, these days, I feel light whenever you"re around. I feel like smiling. Is that what you would call happy?"
At that comment, she could no longer hold back the tears.
She couldn"t hold them back anymore. Ever since she found out, she really wanted to cry. Cry for his sake because he isn"t able to.
"Don"t cry. I don"t know what to do when you cry.." he mumbled.
"Haruka.."
"....."
He brushed his fingers against her eyes, removing the tears before their lips meet. "Bnnnnghh..."
"Nngh.."
"Mmmgh.."
"d.a.m.n.."
She knows what he"s thinking, "not again."
But the two of them are so helpless.
They"re so helpless...
"Ari..."
As he softly called out her name, her body was engulfed in a wave of heat sending her thoughts flying...Sending her mind in a daze. "Ari..."
"Haruka..."