Chapter 5: This place has no lack of strange folksUpdated: 28th May 2017I climbed up from the bed immediately.
I had thought the room empty, but there was in fact a girlin maid get-up, grasping a cleaning rag and standing by the bedside with anervous face.
Her age was close to mine with a head of thick red hair, andwas a big-chested cute young girl.
What? Where had this girl come from?!?
Had I said anything that I should not? Nothing aboutleg-shaving, I hoped?
And, she even thought that I was lovers with Helmut!
She apologised to the horrified me, and then said.
"My name is Anneth and I work as maid here. I was cleaningthe room when you suddenly returned and began talking to yourself while lyingon the bed, so I had no chance to announce my presence. I truly have noill-intentions."
I blushed when I heard that.
"You… You heard me talking to myself?"
"Yes, I heard your tragic calls for "Helmut, Helmut"."
Wah!
"Watching you pining wholeheartedly for Lord Helmut, I canno longer remain silent."
"Uwwah! T-t-this has got to be a misunderstanding! I am nolover of Helmut, just like camels and geese can"t possibly fall in love!"
Helmut after King Cecello? Why should there be so manyrumours between me and other men? And it had to be THAT seedy fellow! Just themere thought of him raised goose-b.u.mps on my skin!
Hearing my determined answer, Anneth let out a sigh ofrelief.
"That is great ~ I have just been thinking: what should I doif you happened to be lovers with Lord Helmut. G.o.d, just the mere thought ismaking my stomach hurt and blood rushing into my head. Ohoohoo, that"s reallygreat.~ "
She repeated "that"s great" with a reddened face.
Was this girl in love with Helmut?
Wwwwwwhat? For such a cute girl to like that fellow?!?
"When Lord Helmut first came to Eren as a diplomat, everygirl working in the palace was asking: "who could that gorgeous black-hairedman be?". I was also as if I was struck by a bolt of lightning. What a handsomeman, with such elegant voice and smile, and holding even elite status… Superb!"
How disgusting, for a lovely girl like her with such largea.s.sets, positive and ordinary demeanour that completely fitted my type, toactually had interest in Helmut!
If you judged based on his appearance alone, Helmut wasindeed a handsome elite diplomat, but his true face was that of a cold-bloodedswindler who forced innocent young boys into cross-dress before selling themoff to foreign countries!
Even if his conduct seemed gentle, he was actually acomplete s.a.d.i.s.t with outrageous att.i.tude, and his insides must definitely be asblack as the ink of a squid. As a male myself, I guarantee!
Sigh, what a pity, for such a pretty girl, such an adorableyoung girl… slightly shorter than myself, with chest large enough to jiggle,eyes that shined with life and cheerful voice…
Helmut that b*****, I really wanted to bash him into ab.l.o.o.d.y pulp, and pull his pants down to reveal half his backside!
"That"s right, from the moment I first laid my eyes on him,I knew he would be a perfect match with His Majesty."
"Huh?"
This conversation seemed to be going in a strange direction?
"Who did you say is a good match with whom?"
"That is of course Lord Helmut and King Cecello! Just thinkabout it, with His Majesty"s exceptional beauty and charisma, as well as highstatus, it is truly difficult to find a matching partner, right? And everyonesurrounding Him is far too old. His Majesty"s close aide Lord Luther is youngerthan Him, and looks very cute too, but he is definitely a Bottom* (uke, formore info, please check P.S.) no matter how you look at him, so there"s no wayto picture him pushing His Majesty over. In my opinion, His Majesty isabsolutely, completely a Bottom, and not a Top* (same, see uke)! That is apoint I will never concede!"
What was this girl talking about?
What were the meanings of Top and Bottom? And what was itall about pushing His Majesty over?
Anneth continued in breathless excitement:
"If Lord Helmut and His Majesty were to stand together, thepicture becomes perfect, and they would certainly have millions of chances tointeract and spar. The pairing of the monarch of a small kingdom and thediplomat of a large empire is also highly attractive, just take for example theother day when Lord Helmut arrived, the two of them immediately lockedthemselves into a small room. Using the might of Winstoria Empire, theblack-hearted Lord Helmut exacted preposterous demands, while His Majesty,shamed and trembling, surrendered for the sake of his people… Magnifique! HisMajesty rebuffed at first, but gave in at last to the charms of Lord Helmutafter the heat of every steamy night, and is absolutely tortured because of it…Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can"t take it any more!"
If you asked me my impressions right then, that was probablyhow it was like.
Huh? Heat of every steamy night? The King already had theQueen! He so loved His wife that they had 6 kids in total, and the way He laidHis eyes on her almost gave Him away as a resident of the Kingdom ofWife-Lovers. How would He ever do something like that with Helmut!
"His Majesty is an ABSOLUTE BOTTOM! You agree too, don"tyou?"
"M-mmmmmmmaybe…"
Under her fascinating appeal, I could not help but feltforced to nod. Just what the peaches did Top and Bottom mean?
Hearing my reply, Anneth grasped my hands with joy all overher cheerful smiling face.
"Right! Right! So happy ~~~ You too support Lord Helmut xHis Majesty King Cecello! Cece-Mut is completely heresy, Helmu-Llo is thedivine path! Oh, I had just been holding onto the cleaning rag, so I am trulysorry. I had thought that geniuses like Glinda would be far too highbrow forcommoners like us, but hey, looks like it isn"t really like that. Can Idirectly call you "Glinda"? You can also just call me "Anneth"."
"Uh… Ok… Anneth…"
"I will focus on expounding on Helmu-Llo this year! I wouldbring you my next publication the next time I come."
"Uh… Thanks…"
There was even a publication of it! A book about the hotsteamy nights of Lord Helmut x King Cecello!
"Oh no! I still have not completed my ch.o.r.es. See you again,Glinda, if there"s anything that you don"t understand in this castle, just askme about it! But you must also trade me information of Lord Helmut, His Majestyand Their royal highness (Princes)!"
"Ttttttthat, Anneth!"
"What is it?"
"Would you happen to be another relative of His Majesty, orsome daughter of the n.o.bles?"
This, after all, was a country where even the Queen put on amaid"s garb and served guests, so it would not be surprising at all if someduke"s daughter was washing the socks.
Anneth gave a little shake, and smiled, saying.
"No way, my family owned a bakery in the city. My home hasseven children, and there"s no room in the house, so I came to the palace towork."
"Bakery?"
"Yes! The bread we baked with cherry and fig is the mostdelicious!"
Anneth displayed a smile as glorious as the sun, and thenleft in a hurry.
Prior to coming to Eren, Fleury, that girl who l I fell inlove with but was rejected by, had also been working in a bakery…
Oh, so Anneth"s family opened a bakery.
This information made me strangely delighted, and my chestbegan to feel regular beats, but I immediately remembered Anneth"s speechearlier and felt a headache rising.
~~His Majesty is an absolute BOTTOM!
For such a pretty adorable young girl, with such amplea.s.sets, warm and cheerful character…
No matter how you looked at her, it was an absolute pity.
"… There seems to be no lack of crazies in this country."
As Anneth left the room, I gave a shrug and went for astroll around the courtyard.
"The Queen is a maid, and the King is an ageless culturalrelic…"
My working hours were only in the mornings, so I had freetime in the afternoons, and if we were to just discuss the working conditions,there could be no better. But the threat of being exposed at any time was aboutto give me stomach ulcers…
The reason for the stroll, therefore, was to familiarizemyself with the escape routes in case I had to run for it.
Spring had almost come to an end, and the beginnings of summerhad started to reveal itself in the lush greenery of the woods in thecourtyard, where bright sunlight pierced through the canopy of leaves.
"Isn"t this palace a little too large?"
Ten minutes into the stroll, I let out a shout of dismay.Just the building proper would have occupied a huge area, and there was animmensely well-maintained and beautiful garden out front, followed by a forestin the outer circle!
The Queen had said that she nearly got in deep trouble whilepicking mushrooms out here and getting lost. She even warned me with acompletely serious face that I had to be careful of the ground underfootbecause there might be swamps and pools of water below. At that time, I hadthought "Was the Queen just directionally-challenged?" Or maybe just p.r.o.ne to getting lost? But nowwhen I actually entered this forest, I realised that I might even be lost inits depth myself!
There were several layers of walls outside of the forest,and a moat filled with water outside of them.
Until 10 years ago, the isolation faction and its counterwere still fighting perpetually, so this castle was fortified into a fortress,so its current appearance was probably a left-over effect of that time.
But, as it was, there was no way for me to escape.
Muah, forget it. It should be easier to get out than to comein, so I should first map out my routes of escape.
As I quietly muttered while planning, a lonely sound flowedfrom within the forest.
Violin?
The sad notes took root in my heart, commanding me to drawcloser towards the direction of their source.
I had zilch talents with music, and the only instrument Icould use was the tambourine.
But since I had grown up in the city known as the Capital ofMusic, Vienna, where you could hear music in just about anywhere, I had had theopportunity to listen to, and be moved to tears by all kinds of music, from theroad-side basking violins to concerts of famed musicians.
If we were to talk just about music appreciation, I waspretty confident in my abilities.
Therefore I could declare that the handler of that violinpossessed extraordinary talents.
This silver colour that shined with n.o.bility and charm likejewels.
Despite that, felt so delicate, so sad, and so lonely.
Who was the one that was producing this music?
In rich green forest filled with straight boughs, stood ayoung girl with a violin in her hands.
Princess Seira!
I was speechless with surprise.
It was like a scene out of the fables.
Amongst the thin boles of the surrounding trees, an evenslimmer and more delicate beauty was playing the violin.
A small hand held the glistening dark brown of beautifulinstrument, a white cheek tilted to the side as support, pulling and drawingthe bow of the violin. The long silver hair seemed to be absorbing the brightsunlight directly from above, and gave off a cold sparkle in its soft waver.
Princess Seira closed her eyes in deep concentration whilepulling on the violin.
The sad transparent melody vibrated in the air.
Silver hair dreamily swayed.
These sounds… such notes… to think that they were producedat the hands of this juvenile Princess!
The melody stopped then.
Princess Seira lifted her head towards me.
As our eyes met, my heart almost leapt out in fear.
"Ohohoh, my apologies for disrupting your practice! Youplayed the violin really well… Urh, no, I mean…"
At least give me a response!
Princess Seira continued to keep her face close to theviolin, looking at me coldly without even moving a hair on her brows. I wasobviously scared stiff in apprehension.
~~ Why does Teacher cross-dress?
The doubts that she had earlier this morning seemed to beabout to pop out from her portrait-like beautiful lips at any moment, and Icould hardly stop myself from sweating in fear.
"Uh, that, about what you asked yesterday, I am not reallycross-dressing as a woman… Ooh! Is it because I made a mistake and said "yourservant*"(Boku, a j.a.p p.r.o.noun see below)? That is just a habit, since I havealways wanted to be a boy when I was young. Even now I still accidentally saythat, so… even if your humble servant says "your servant", it doesn"t mean thatI am a male… Ah! I said it again!"
Obviously I was just digging myself deeper, and totally feltlike dying already.
Princess Seria"s pair of amethyst eyes continued to observeme in silence.
Peach-pink coloured lips gradually opened…
"Heheh! So that"s where you are! Ms Glinda!"
The pot-bellied uncle appeared with pomp while leading atroop of officials behind him.
The edgy atmosphere vanished without a trace in an instant.
What was with this uncle? What"s going on?
Uhoh, this old uncle who kept glaring at me previously inthe welcoming ceremony had caused me much discomfort, but he seemedextraordinarily polite today.
"We have been trying to locate you for a long time now, inorder to seek the wisdom of the all-powerful genius Ms Glinda."
He said in a flattering voice.
"I am the Chief Minister Gaston. Ara, to have a girl-geniussuch as Ms Glinda visit Eren makes us all feel so privileged and thankful!Heard that Lady Glinda is an unrivalled genius who will not be stumbled byanything in the world!"
"I-I am not really that smart…"
That"s right, the smart one was Glinda, while I was just aNEET who failed college-preparatory exams.
"Hahaha, that"s too humble of you. With the great wisdom ofa genius like Ms Glinda, all our troubles will soon disappear. Alright then,please come with us."
"Oh, w-wait …"
That uncle tugged my hand tightly while the top officials ofEren surrounded me all over as if to examine a divine bird out of a legend,looking at me worshipfully. Their expressions said, "Genius Ms Glinda woulddefinitely have a way."
Oh no!
Where were they taking me to? What were they planning to doto me?
I was different from Glinda! I was no genius! Just a poorcommoner suffering from some deficiency in testosterone that made my skinsmoother than the usual! And a resident from the Kingdom of a MillionHeartbreaks that could not write a love letter to save his skin!
Princess Seira nonchalantly stared at my gaping and closingmouth while I was dragged away by Chief Minister Gaston.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! G.o.d help me ~~~!
"That, I still have to prepare for tomorrow"s lessons…"
"Ms Glinda is a genius, what do those things matter."
"No, no, no such thing, I am just an ordinary person…"
"Hahaha, Ms Glinda sure knows how to joke around."
Please let go of my hand! Fat uncle! The grease was about tomake me puke!
Teary-eyed, I was brought to some research facility insidesome corner of the palace.
The air was thick with a murderous aura in this researchfacility, with occasional grunts of anger sounding.
"E-everyone seems so busy here, I guess I shouldn"t bedisturbing…"
But when that bunch of people noticed my presence…
"Ms Glinda!"
"Why it"s the person herself!"
Everyone rushed over gleefully towards me.
Ooooohhhhh! Even if I were to be greeted by such a hugecrowd of men, I would not be pleased. In fact, my face was turning red.
An architect called Satchel reverently said to the petrifiedme "Lady Glinda must definitely offer us her wisdom", then spread out animmense blueprint.
"The Ionie River outside of the city often overflows, and weare preparing to build a d.y.k.e around it."
He continued to pour out a flood of technical terms for wellover twenty minutes, before asking me: "Well, what do you think?" whileeveryone looked on with eyes full of hopeful expectations.
T-those eyes were obviously awaiting me to provide someingenious pointers!
I felt cold all over.
If it was Glinda, she would just elegantly resolve theproblem, winning glamour and praises from everyone all over. But I was just anordinary boy! How could I possibly know anything about aqua-engineering, orbridge-building and such? My level of skill was just sufficient to build somebird"s house or fix the fence around our home, and even this blueprint wasgiving me a headache just from looking at it.
Minister Gaston glared at me, sneering.
"Oh? What"s wrong, Ms Glinda? Your face doesn"t look toogood, Could-It-Be, the widely-acclaimed invincible scholar, the so-called gemof wisdom from the Winstoria Empire - Girl-genius Lady Glinda, could not evensolve a problem of this level?"
This guy was definitely one of those fellows who abusedtheir wives!
Uwwwuuuuuu… Oh no, my eyes were blurring over. This timethey would definitely discover that I was an imposter, and I would soon bedragged off as a cross-dressing criminal of the state to be imprisoned orexecuted…
"Uww… T-that, this place here… maybe should be "slightly"… "
Imagining the noose around my neck, I randomly pointed atthe blueprint.
Satchel frowned.
"I am sorry? Would you mind elaborating a little?"
"Uh… Ah…"
If there was anyway to elaborate, would I still be sweatinglike this? Please read the mood a little, Satchel~~
It was just then -
"Huh? That is!"
Satchel suddenly glued his face atop of the blueprints,carefully examining it.
"Huhuhu… So that"s what it is…"
The surrounding crowd also began to let out "Huhu" or gaspsof "Ah".
Then, everyone began whispering with Satchel in the centre,and then suddenly all looked towards me with looks teeming in respect.
"You have our utmost grat.i.tude, Lady Glinda. But for yourhelp in pointing out this severe issue, we would still be lost. To be capableof going straight at the heart of the problem, as expected of the acclaimedgenius!"
"Wha!"
Satchel grasped my hand tightly, the surrounding peopleheaping words like "Truly genius", "To be able to see the answer right away","Lady Glinda saved our lives" or "Lady Glinda is truly our lives" saviour".
"Urg… Humph, such small problems are of course trivial togeniuses."
Only Minister Gaston had a sour face as he threw out thosewords.
Even though I still had no idea what was going on, it seemedlike it had been resolved.
But…
"We"ve heard that Ms Glinda is also well-versed in the studyof economics. Please grant us your wisdom."
Minister Gaston dragged me somewhere else.
"W-wait…"
My knowledge of economics was just limited to weeklydiscounts offered by shopping malls in the Winstoria Empire…
In a beat, we had arrived at the Finance Ministryheadquarters.
"Hoho! It"s Lady Glinda!"
"We have been awaiting your arrival! Regarding this problemin our accounts, we wish to discuss something with you."
The crowd brought over a stack of numbers-covered doc.u.mentsthat seemed thick enough to serve as a murder weapon. I was dazzled by thesight alone. The end. This was surely the end of me. I trembled as I pretendedto peruse the books…
"Ah, this…"
I muttered with a frozen gaze.
"Hoho, any comments?"
The surrounding financial department officials peered overfrom my two sides.
Everyone focused their lines of sight suspiciously on thepage I was looking at, and suddenly exclaimed: "Eureka! All that we had to dois to bring the remaining sums from this side to the other side formanipulation!", "Hoho, then there will be not need to raise the taxes! Asexpected of Lady Glinda!"
Despite not understanding what "this side" and "that side"meant, I dully nodded to accept their praises.
Again Lord Gaston grunted in displeasure.
"Humph~~~ There"s something else!"
Lord Gaston dragged me away while gnashing his teeth.
No matter where I got dragged over to, however, all that Imanaged to do was to take a glance and mutter something unintelligible, beforeeveryone else said in reverence.
"So that is it! It is just like that!"
"As expected of the ingenious Lady Glinda!"
There was even this bent rheumatic old secretary with soreback who skipped lightly while holding my hand.
"My backache disappeared! It"s a miracle!"
"Do you see that? Even just one small touch is sufficient tocure! As expected of Ms Glinda!"
"It"s like the legends coming alive!"
Were the people of Eren Kingdom always this gullible…
Was it really so easy to succeed? Was the t.i.tle of being agenius really so potent?
No, there had got to be some trick awaiting me…
I sensed an air of killing intent. Glancing over, I sawChief Minister scowling furiously at me like an unfed baited gorilla.
"T-that… It is about time for me to go for my marathonpractice…"
The disquiet in my heart warned me to run away as quickly aspossible, but a claw-like hand stopped me.
Lord Gaston showed alittle smile to my cowering body.
"I have heard that Lady Glinda is capable of defeating 10000men alone. If that"s really the case, your skills in martial arts must beexemplary."
My challenger was a young man named Jerome who shouldered ahumongous broad sword.
He was a blue-eyed blond pretty-boy with exquisite fivefeatures who held the commanding seat of the knight company. With only one ofhis arm, he could swing a large sword that was almost as high as my body.
"Ha, you"re asking someone as handsome and strong as me tofight with a girl in lacy dress? Spare me please; if it gets out that I hitgirls, my reputation"s gonna get tarnished."
"You must give noquarter! Jerome! The opponent is a genius, so you must give your all! Spare noeffort to beat her down! If you lose, I am going to deduct your wages!"
Chief Minister Gaston shouted.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeez. Uncle, why do you always force meinto such pointless stuff?"
The pretty-boy knight sulked.
On the training grounds of the castle, crowds of knights andsoldiers waited to watch our duel.
"Hey, who do you think will win?"
"Most likely it"s gonna be Jerome. Even though he likes toboast around, his skill is top notch. No matter how wise the genius is, she"sno match for a man"s muscle strength."
"No, but since it"s Lady Glinda, maybe she can actuallywin."
"Today"s definitely going to be an exciting match. I must goboast to those dudes who aren"t on duty!"
Ohohoho, such heavy expectations… huge pressure…
I was just a scrawny boy! I had never lifted anythingheavier than a spade, and was a pacifist who even released the fishes I fishedup!
Besides, this… this huge sword… the edge seemed to begleaming brightly… was it actually real?
"Hey, who would bring this lady a set of armour?"
The pretty-boy knight yelled towards the watching crowd.
Was this duel so deadly as to require the need of armour?
"There"s no need."
A calm voice sounded on the training grounds.
Huah! It was Princess Seira! Why was she here?
The eldest Princess Seira was just 9 years of age, butemitted a stern air of impenetrability all over. She coldly commanded.
"Teacher Glinda does not require any armour."
Huh? What did that mean? Was she setting me up?
Alarm filled all who were present.
"Oh, since Lady Glinda is a genius, she has no need forarmour?"
"As expected of Lady Glinda!"
Wait a second! It was not I who said anything! It wasobviously Princess Seira who…
"Ha! Interesting! Alright, then let"s begin! I shall teachyou, that women should not tread lightly into the battles of men, and justfollow obediently!"
A vein seemed to have popped on the head of the handsomeknight as he screamed, probably mistaking my refusal (not mine exactly, it wasPrincess Seira) of armour as a challenge to his ego.
Wah! Help! If Glinda was here, she would definitely have away of defusing this crisis, such as by hypnotising the opponent into believinghimself as a pigeon; or, having completely researched into the weaknesses ofthe opponent even before the battle began, just whisper a word that completelyshatter the opponent"s morale as soon as the battle began.
But, I could not possibly do any of those things!
"You have best surrender! Ms Genius! Or you may really gethurt!"
The knight pompously flicked his golden hair and pointed hishuge sword towards me, its edges gleaming in a dangerous light.
Uwwaaaaah! If that thing was to slice at me, even my boneswould be sliced apart!
Heeeelp~~~~ Muuuurrrdeeerr!!!
I could care less about impressions at this stage! Only bypleading surrender and ending this farce of a duel would a commoner like I beable to survive!
The sword was about to fall.
I kneeled forward with my sword.
"I-I surren…"
"What!"
The handsome knight gave a shocked scream.
Strange? I looked up just to see him trip and barrel-rolledviolently.
The gigantic sword was swung into the sky before droppingand stabbing into the ground beside me.
Much further away, the head-over-heels knight fell keeledover.
The crowds around us fell as silent as a cemetery.
Princess Seira watched on coldly.
A minute later, cheers resounded throughout the traininggrounds.
"Absolute genius! To be able to avoid Jerome"s attack justat the right instant, and even throw him aside by borrowing his momentum!"
"I had thought that she would use her sword, but to win justby her hand-to-hand skills alone! Just how calculated is her application ofskills?"
"That calm and easy manner with which she won isunbelievable! This is the mark of a genius!"
I had just wanted kneel down and surrender, but that seemedto have made handsome-knight Jerome miss his target and fall over by himself.
The pretty-boy knight crawled over in pain, moaning.
"Uwwwuu~~~ For me to lose to a woman! Why can"t I read anyof your moves! How the h.e.l.l did those thin arms manage to throw me aside? Isthat witchcraft?!?"
You just fell by yourself…
"Fool! I have told you not to be careless! I will deductyour pay! And demote you!"
Lord Gaston shouted.
"That, I really should be returning to my room… See, eventhe sun is setting…"
The sunset washed over the buildings in a red glow and crowscawed mournfully in the sky.
Chief Minister Gaston"s face became so swollen that steamalmost escaped from it, muttering, and then said while glaring.
"Even this is not enough to proof that Ms Glinda is a talentsuitable for our country! The real test lies in next month"s marathoncompet.i.tion!"
What marathon compet.i.tion?
That night, Anneth visited me after her shift ended andcleared my doubts.
"There is a marathon compet.i.tion next month organizedpersonally by His Majesty, and it has been divided into two compet.i.tive groups,one for men and the other for women and children. The top runner of thiscompet.i.tion would be awarded a luxurious gift. All members of the royal familywill be partic.i.p.ating in it."
"Huh, huh? The King, the Queen and even all the Princes andPrincesses would be partic.i.p.ating?"
What was the big deal that even the royal family would betaking part?
But Anneth replied without any surprise.
"That is right. You see, this idea actually came from HerMajesty. The Queen actually loved marathons, and won the 2nd prizein a compet.i.tion when she was in elementary school. This is so memorable forHer that His Majesty, who dotes on the Queen so much, decided to organize amarathon compet.i.tion open to the public."
Wow, were all affairs of royalty so easily decided? Itreminded me of Sultan Harihasan who outlawed causing any injury to cats becauseof his favourite cat-loving concubine. This ruler who ruled over a desertcountry a thousand years ago even built monuments and palaces everywhere forthe sake of his favourite concubine. I guessed he must have been the neighbourof King Cecello in the Kingdom of Wife-Lovers.
"Any foreigners who wish to partic.i.p.ate in it must firstpa.s.s an initial round and be judged fit. The ministers felt that this couldcause excessive burden on the issue of security, and so requested that only thepeople within the capital be allowed to take part. But His Majesty overrodethem, saying that only a non-discriminatory compet.i.tion would have any meaningin it."
"Hoho, so that"s how it comes to be."
I nodded.
"Besides, this will serve to show other countries that Erenis safe and peaceful, as well as increase the common-folk"s trust in the royalfamily."
So it was not held only for the sake of the Queen. KingCecello"s legendary wisdom was no mere rumour.
As I pondered over such things…
"Glinda really notices things that commoners like us cannever even imagine! So cool!"
Anneth looked at me with eyes filled with respect.
Then she smiled adorably towards me, causing me muchembarra.s.sment.
Nah, I was just an armchair political commentator whoenjoyed picking at the reports of newspaper and the tabloids for their shallowa.n.a.lysis. This much was truly nothing… Haha…
Anneth was really cute… I wish I could go on a date withher. We could go on a picnic in the fields… while I cross-dressed?
While I lamented, Anneth exclaimed with stars in her eyes:
"But, to prepare for this marathon run, they must beginrepairing the roads and paths even in the face of insufficient manpower. Oh,the hardship it causes would become the trigger for deeper camaraderie betweenmen of all rank and files!"
Huh? Somehow the topic became a little distant…
"Situations such as when the gorgeous senior pa.s.ses out frompure fatigue! The normally stern and guarded senior collapses on the shoulderof his underling! The long-enduring underling is also fabulous~~~ Of course,the senior is the Bottom, while the junior is the Top!"
Here it comes! Top and Bottom again!
"Satchel, that architect in charge of aqua-engineering, andhis immediate subordinate Luka give off a hot atmosphere. Luka seems to enjoytouching Satchel, and Satchel doesn"t seem to mind either, even secretlypa.s.sing his manual to him. Ooooohhhh! My nose bleeds just from the thought ofit! Fred and Guy from the Labour Department also look suspicious! Lyon and Alecfrom the Finance even share their clothes! Those two must definitely be in arelationship!"
"That… Is that so…"
"Definitely! A 100 percent!"
Anneth shot me a thumbs-up while winking to a.s.sure me. Thetopic had totally gone on a cruise…
"Hu… I thought we were talking about the marathon runcompet.i.tion…"
"Ah, that"s right. That"s why I say that marathons are thebest! Gleaming muscles and flying sweat drops are matchless combinations! Thepainfully panting Bottom and the Top who embraces him at the finishing line!Marvellous!"
My head was starting to spin from the ache… She was soadorable… Why…
"That is why I would be watching romantic compet.i.tion of themen"s group, but I would also cheer for you, so you must fight!"
"Huh?"
"Aren"t you also partic.i.p.ating in the compet.i.tions? ChiefMinister Gaston has already announced to everyone, he said that "Because LadyGlinda is a genius, she would be taking part in the men"s group. She candefinitely defeat the weak men of Eren Kingdom and win the top prize.""
"What"s wrong, Glinda? Your face doesn"t look too good."
"… I want to go run 100 rounds around the castle right now…"
"There"s definitely no problem for you! That"s because youare a genius! You even easily defeated Jerome of the Knights Brigade. Jeromemay look handsome, but is actually a narcissistic and irritating fool, soeveryone is elated. Glinda is awesome! You would definitely finish first in therace!"
At the sight of Anneth"s sparkling eyes while saying suchthings, I could hardly say that I was no good at running.
Another person who was equally frustrated with the marathonrace was none other than its instigator - Her Majesty, the Queen.
"What to do, Teacher? In an entire year, there is only asingle half-day when I actually enjoy a marathon race, and that is during itsclosing ceremony. For the rest of the 364.5 days, I hate it and would even prayfervently at the "teru teru bozu" dolls every day before the race that therewould be rain on the day of the compet.i.tion.
When I was in the 4th year of elementary school,I was the second place for the girl"s compet.i.tion in my cla.s.s of 12, and thatwas only because the ten in front of me all got lost. But Mother felt that Iwould most likely never again win any prizes involving exercises, so she bakeda cake to celebrate it with me. You should understand now that I run as fast asa tortoise? Boohoo, what should I do? Everyone knows that I would bepartic.i.p.ating in the marathon run, so there"s no way I can shirk from it now. AllI said was that I can still remember the pain of running the marathons… I neversaid that I wanted to run…"
Her eyes began to glaze over with tears as if throwingaccusation at the King.
Muah, if that was really the case, She should have madeclear Her thoughts to His Majesty earlier. Then King Cecello who so adored Hiswife would never have organized a race to torture His most beloved.
In the end, the King was telling everyone all over:
"The one who suggested the marathon race is Her Majesty,everyone should partic.i.p.ate. That way, the Queen would be overjoyed."
As it was, there was no way for the Queen now to shun therace. And that went for me as well.
"Ms Glinda is a genius, so she will win easily! If she lost,she will have to do a head-stand while wearing a skirt!"
Chief Minister Gaston was announcing such to everyone.
Sir Jerome who had been sent flying by me (?) also said.
"I will never lose this marathon compet.i.tion! If I win, Iwill make her put on this pair of dog ears while barking, "Arf! Woof!". Ofcourse, I would do the same if I were to lose!"
He twirled a headband decorated with dog"s ears in hisfinger as he announced it.
If I were to say that I did not want to partic.i.p.ate in themarathon race now, n.o.body would accent to it.
Not only that, I was apparently listed among the prospectivetop winners already.
"The top prize would definitely go to Ms Glinda! That"sbecause she"s a genius!"
"I would also cheer for Ms Glinda!"
Hearing that bunch of people who arbitrarily decided to formmy cheer-leading team, I could feel my ulcer reacting.
Besides that, another group within the army said:
"Even if she is a genius, it is an utter disgrace to lose toa girl! We must steal all three top places, and all who do not make the top 100places will have their pay deducted!"
They began to train every morning in high spirit.
Even people from the clerical departments staked theirhonour and said:
"We must not be looked down upon by the soldiers!"
According to the news, the atmosphere outside of the palacewas even more intense.
"The winner would be awarded a great prize!"
"We can see the royal family!"
It was a complete festive mood.
From the successfully completed roadwork, tightening ofsecurity, and furore of improved moods, it could be said that His Majesty"sdecision to organize a marathon compet.i.tion had already borne fruits.
But, the colour of my complexion paled with each closingday, as did the pain in my stomach worsened.
"Uwuuwuu… Teacher Glinda, we must keep fighting…"
The Queen gripped my two hands with her eyes clouded over intears, but the only thing I could do was to help Her Majesty with hermanufacture of "teru teru bozu" dolls.
It was at this time that, Helmut, who had departed fornearly half a month, returned to Eren Kingdom.
"What"s this? What a funny-looking accessory."
Helmut looked at the window hung full with "teru teru bozu"and asked in apprehension.
In the hometown of Her Majesty, apparently people believedthat by crafting a doll from a piece of white cloth wrapped around some cotton,then drawing on it the eyes and the mouth, they could summon forth sun-shine byhanging those dolls upright, and call forth rain by hanging them upside-down.
"Let"s pray that it would summon a great flood like that inthe legendary Genesis."
I mumbled in despair and Helmut seemed to have caught on. Hedisplayed that unbelievably cheerful smile of his.
"Countries everywhere are all abuzz with news of LadyGlinda"s registry for the King"s marathon run compet.i.tion, even saying that ifshe cannot win the 1st prize, she would put on a dog-ears headbandand do headstands while wearing a skirt and barking: "Woof! Arf!""
"The tabloids have done it now! Uwwuuuwuu… I promised nosuch things; it is Chief Minister Gaston who went all by himself to spread allthose rumours. That old uncle has been glaring and marking me since day 1, andeven now looks for all kinds of means to bully me."
"Hoho, that"s because Gaston belongs to the Orlandofaction."
Helmut nodded.
"Orlando?"
The Orlando Kingdom was my father"s hometown, and was alsoknown as the Kingdom of Chivalry that prided itself in its martial prowess.When our parents pa.s.sed away from an accident, Glinda and I continued to stayon in Orlando until we were 5 years old.
"Despite its small size, Eren Kingdom has temperateenvironmental conditions and still much undeveloped lands and resources. Until10 years ago, this country is still known as the "isolated kingdom", but afteropening up to the outside world, it has vigorously absorbed culture andtechnology from outside and been developing non-stop.
It is within expectations that the Eren Kingdom would becomeeven more prosperous, more affluent, and more powerful in the future. Therefore,every country has been fighting to create diplomatic ties with Eren under termsthat are most beneficial to themselves. And for that purpose, every countryoffered up the best things in their possession as gifts to seal those pacts. TheKingdom of Chivalry Orlando offered strength of might, while the EconomicSuperpower Rubinia offered money and labour."
In the midst of all these offers, King Cecello chose theEmpire of Knowledge and Arts which offered the promise of sending over theomnipotent-genius Glinda as the royal tutor - the Winstoria Empire.
"The King of Eren Kingdom made a very wise decision.Orlando"s military aid and Rubinia"s wealth are both very tempting offers, butthat would also chain down the kingdom into relying on them. Our ImperialHighness could see through this point, and just offered Winstoria Empire"s gem:girl-genius Glinda. It spoke of His wisdom."
"Chief Minister Gaston wanted to forge the alliance withOrlando Kingdom?"
"That"s right. That"s why he sees you as a thorn in hisside."
No wonder, then, that he kept bullying me, looking as if hewanted to chase me away! The intricacies of politics had reached the point of domesticuproar! My shoulders sunk in complete enervation.
"… If I could not achieve top in this race, would I have todo headstands wearing a skirt?"
"That won"t do, if you display any unladylike character, itwould disgrace the reputation of the Winstoria Empire. His Imperial Highnesswould also be displeased, and it may jeopardise the relationship of our twocountries. You must never do that."
Helmut said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Then, how am I supposed to win in this contest?"
"If it had been Glinda, she would never have allowed thingsto proceed on to this current situation. Sigh, Sher-chan is so useless."
My temper shot up by a mile. How dare you take this att.i.tudetowards me when you were the one who abandoned me to my fate for well-nigh halfa month! What did you imagine I felt when I strung on the corset every morning!Even though my skills with the brow-trimmer and walking while in a long-dress hadgreatly improved, I could feel no pride!
"Then hurry and bring the real Glinda over! Isn"t theIntelligence Agency of Winstoria Empire the best in the world?"
"Our Intel Agency is truly the best in the world. Despitesending out our best agents on the trails of Glinda, we could find no trace ofher, but obtained information about a young girl who single-handedly ended thetribal feud in the Oter Desert to the south, and news of a mysterious scientistwho discovered a new strain of potatoes in the Etonia Kingdom to the north, aswell as a few other similar intelligence."
"Apparently they are all so highly skilled! So why haven"tthey caught her yet? Just give them all the sack!"
"That"s because Glinda is just that good. As expected of ourcountry"s national treasure."
"Stop trivialising me! And stop smiling like that when yousay it!"
"Ara, it has just been half a month of not seeing you,Sher-chan, how did you manage to become so spiteful? When we first met, youwere just shivering like a little rabbit, not even capable of proper speech.Just look how you"ve grown."
Just the sound of him imitating the warm speech of a senior wasenough to make me faint. This fellow was totally unmoved.
"… How about you run this race for me then."
"That won"t do. The entry of Ms Glinda has already becomethe focus of this compet.i.tion."
"But, my stamina at running has always been at rock-bottom.And if I were to do headstands while wearing a skirt, Winstoria Empire"sreputation would be damaged. As a man, I am not too offended by people seeingmy underwear, but I certainly don"t want anyone to see me in a lady"s undies."
I insisted in a huff, and even Helmut gave a serious sigh.
"It can"t be helped. Although this would be breaking therules a little…"
Helmut placed some stuff on the table.
"These are tripod spikes laced with anaesthetics. These aresome very potent laxatives. The test-tube contains many live wasps. In addition,this here is a voodoo doll, which despite its frivolous appearance, isapparently quite effective. It was said that when the renowned idol-queen Emilybroke her legs in an accident and lost her crown to the runner-up newcomer Hilda,she claimed that Hilda had placed a hex on her with this doll."
"I have no wish to hear such dangerous topics about women."
"Is that so? Then just use these things to settle the issue."
"Tripod spikes and laxatives are hardly ! It is totally disregarding the rules! How is it that youcarry around such diabolical things around?""Being a diplomat is in fact a demanding job that put yourlife in constant danger. Ara, It is about time for me to get to work.Sher-chan, for the sake of the alliance between the Winstoria Empire and ErenKingom, you must definitely win this race."
"That"s impossible!"
"Oh, and there"s still these pads. I"m sure those from beforeare insufficient, right? I have specially ordered for you some of those thatare softer, more comfy, and less p.r.o.ne to slipping off. Also, here are some modelanswers to the Imperial College examinations that Glinda scored full marks forwhen she was just 7. Sher-chan should work hard too, so as not to exposeyourself."
Saying this, Helmut left after handing me a dozen of padsand a thick book of model exam answers.
After his departure, Anneth came in immediately and bombardedme like a battery of cannonfire:
"Hey, tell me please, how long would Lord Helmut be staying?Did he say anything about His Majesty being so handsome and lovely that hewants to push him down and do those kinds of things?"
My mood sunk even deeper.
Be it Mr Voodoo Doll, or Ms "teru teru bozu", please justdeliver me from this marathon run.
Even as I continued to be trapped in my helplessness, it wasnow the day before the marathon run.
I hugged the thick book of model answers close whilecontinued to practice barking like a dog as I went for a little afternoonstroll in the courtyard. Just then, I b.u.mped into Prince Ryuuju who wastraining in short sleeves and shorts.
Prince Ryuuju was nothing like his twin sisters PrincessesSarasa and Orie who complained, "What marathon run compet.i.tion? How unbelievablytiresome!" Instead, he trained diligently every morning and afternoon for longperiods.
For all his tough talks, he was also a diligent worker.Muah, what an excellent child.
In comparison, I should really reflect on myself.
Just then, he noticed me.
He instantly widened his eyes, frowned and stiffened hisface.
To this day he was still keeping me at arm"s length, thinkingprobably that I was a female vixen who peeped on his bath and even pushed himover.
"Training for the marathon? Your Highness Prince Ryuuju isso hard-working."
I said in the tone of a kind big sister archetype, but hejust tightened his lips, backed away slowly, and then shouted with a blushingface.
"I… I have not been looking at your chest! And don"t careabout women who peep on baths like you!"
He fled after throwing those words out.
He probably was still mindful of his little sisters" teasingwords, but seeing his obvious display of hostility still hurt my feelings. UWuuWuu…
I walked towards a fountain in the courtyard andcollapse-sat on its edge while stretching out my legs.
"… Don"t mind it."
Came a sudden voice. I closed my legs in a panic.
Looking upwards, a pair of amethyst transparent eyes hadbeen staring directly at me.
"P-princess Seira!"
Kya! Here it comes again! Why was this Princess alwaysappearing from nowhere, coldly staring at me?
Was she threatening me with "I know your secret"? But, itseemed that she had not yet told anyone else that I was a man. What really washer purpose? So puzzling.
Then again, why was I getting so worked up over a 9 year oldkid…
"… Elder Brother Ryuuju may sometimes say some inappropriatewords when he is shy. That is not his true intentions."
Huh? Was she consoling me?
But, both her words and expression were as monotonous asusual.
"Eh… Princess Seira, don"t you detest me?"
Princess Seira had an expression of shock when she heardthose words.
"Because, when I was duelling with Jerome, you said therewas no need for me to have armour…"
I could still remember it because I was still somewhatbitter about it.
But, Princess Seira calmly replied.
"… That"s because armour is too heavy, and I think thatTeacher won"t be able to move well in it."
"Huh?"
So she had not been setting me up, but was actually helpingme.
"Is that so! Sorry! I had been mistaken about Your Highness,Princess Seira…"
I stood in a rush, and the thick book of exam solutions fellfrom my laps in my hurry. Princess Seira picked it up.
"Winstoria Imperial College"s … past entry exam papers?"
"Wha! That"s not really mine! Why would a genius like meneed to refer to something like that!"
"… This answer is wrong."
"Huh?"
"Is there a pen anywhere?"
"Oh? Uh… here."
I handed her the pen that I always carried around. She tookit and breezily began to solve the problems.
She completed them one after another with the proficiency ofan expert, almost as if she knew the answers like the back of her hands.
What was she? Was I just seeing things? Was this child somesage from somewhere? Oh right, now that I thought about it, she also completedmy exam in a couple of minutes the other day…
"P-princess Seira!"
I was just about to think that I might actually be able toget along with her, but seeing this monstrous ability shocked me so much that Itook hold of her slim shoulders.
Princess Seira looked up in surprise and silver hair brushedagainst the back of my hand.
"I have been wanting to tell you this… That, maybe you havethought I am a cross-dressing pervert, but that is not the case at all! If I donot cross-dress, there may be great trouble between the Winstoria Empire andEren Kingdom! So, I mean, please, don"t tell others that I am not Glinda!"
I said while bowing my head.
After a moment of silence, a calm voice said.
"… Teacher is saying that, it is not that Ms Glinda is actuallya man, but rather Teacher is not even Ms Glinda in the first place?"
Noooooooooo! I had dug myself deeper again!
I dumbly looked up with a gaping mouth, but there began aneerie silence.
Princess Seira stared at me with an empty gaze that I hadnever seen before.
So hollow and devoid of emotions that a chill raised throughmy spine, it was almost like being bewitched.
"… So, you could not "see that"?"
"W-what do you mean?"
Could not see what?
Princess Seira ignored my question and displayed anexpression of disappointment, then returned to her western-doll likepoker-face.
"… If you are "not Ms Glinda", tomorrow in the race, youhave best not get too close to Elder Brother Ryuuju."
She flatly said, as if prophesising or maybe it was awarning.
A chilling sensation ran over the top of my back.
Princess Seira elegantly retreated. My hands, which had beenon her slim shoulders, held only thin air.
"Hey! What is that supposed to mean?"
She ignored my shout, and left on her own. I was dumbfoundedas I stood rooted to the ground.
Returning to my own room, I checked through the modelanswers book that Princess Seira worked on. She had gotten every questionscorrect.
P.S.
1. Uke is the Bottomin a yaoi relationship (i.e. the one on the receiving end)
2. Same is the Topin a yaoi relationship
3. teru teru bozuis a j.a.panese traditional doll/wind-chime that is made simply by wrapping apiece of white cloth around a ball of cotton and tying it up to form somethinglike a ghost. It is hung right-side up to beseech sun and upside-down to pleafor rain in farming communities.