"Andouraccounts,"chimedRose.
"It"sprudenttomakeback-ups,"thecomputermantoldthemmock-sorrowfully,hisyoungfacemorehonestlyfullofscorn."Alwaysmakeback-ups,ladies."
"Whichvirus?"Iaskedagain.
Heshrugged,includingmeinhisstupidityrating."MaybeMichelangelo...MichelangeloactivatesonMarch6thandthere"sstillalotofitabout."
"Enlarge,"Isaid.
"Surelyyouknow?"
"IfIknew,I"veforgotten."
Hespelleditoutastoanilliterate."March6thisMichelangelo"sbirthday.IfyouhavetheviruslyingdoggoinyourcomputerandyouswitchonyourcomputeronMarch6th,thevirusactivates."
"Mm.Well,March6thwaslastSunday.NooneswitchedonthiscomputeronSunday."
Isobel"slargeeyesopenedwider."That"sright."
"Michelangeloisaboot-sectionvirus,"theexpertsaid,andtoourblank-lookingexpressionslong-sufferinglyexplained."Justswitchingthemachineondoesthetrick.Simplyswitchingiton,waitingaminuteortwo,andswitchingoff.Switchingoniscalledbooting-up.AlltherecordsontheharddiskarewipedoutatoncewithMichelangeloandyougetthemessagesaying"Fataldiskerror".That"swhat"shappenedtoyourmachine.Therecordsaregone.There"snoputtingthemback."
Isobelstaredatme,conscience-stricken,appalledanddistressed."Youdidtell.u.s.tomakeback-upfloppydisks,Iknowyoudid.Youkeptontellingus.I"meversosorry.I"msosorry."
"Youshouldhaveinsisted,"Rosetoldme."Imeanyoushouldhavemadeus."
"Youdon"tevenseemworried,"Isobelsaid.
TothecomputermanIsaid,"Wouldthevirusactivateonbackupfloppydisks?"
"Prettylikely."
"Butwe"vegothardlyany,"Isobelwailed.
Wedid,asithappened,havecomprehensiveback-updiskscontainingeverythingthetwosecretarieshadentereduptoandincludingthepreviousThursday.Iknewthey"dfoundthedailyback-upprocedureabitofabore.I"dseenthemleaveitfordays,sometimes.I"dremindedbothofthemoverandovertomakecopiesandwasawaretheythoughtInaggedthemunnecessarily.Thecomputerseemedeverlastinglyreliable.IntheendI"dtakentomakingdailyback-upsmyselfontheterminalinmysitting-room,storingthedisksinmysafe.Ifyouwantathingdoneproperly,asmymotherhadbeenaccustomedtosay,doityourself.
Atthatexactmoment,thoughthecopies.e.xisted,theycouldn"tbereachedowingtotheaxedstateofthesafe"s...o...b..nations.
Icouldhaverea.s.suredthemallaboutourrecordsandnormallywouldhavedone.Suspicionstoppedme.SuspicionaboutIdidn"tknowwhat.But.i.twasaltogethertoomuchofacoincidenceformethatthecomputershouldcrashatthatparticulartime.
"You"renotalone,"thecomputermansaid."Doctors,lawfirms,allsortsofbusinesses,havehadtheirrecordswipedout.Onewomanlostawholebookshewaswriting.Anditcostsnothingtomakeback-ups."
"Ohdear."Isobelwasneartears.
"Whatexactlyisavirus?"Roseenquiredmiserably.
"It"saprogrammethattellsthecomputertojumbleuporwipeouteverythingstoredinit."Hewarmedtohissubject."Thereareatleastthreethousandvirusesfloatingaround.There"sJerusalemIIthatactivateseveryFridaythethirteenth,that"saspeciallynastyone.It"scausedalotoftrouble,hasthatone."
"Butwhat"sthepoint"?"Iasked.
"Vandalism,"hesaidcheerfully."Destructionandwreckingforitsownsake."Heranhisringersthroughhishair."Forinstance,Icoulddesignasweetlittlevirusthatwouldmakeallyouraccountscomeoutwrong.NothingspectacularlikeMichelangelo,notacompletelossofeverything,justenoughtodriveyoumad.Justenoughtomakeerrorssothatyou"dbeforevercheckingandaddingandnothingwouldevercomeoutright."Helovedtheidea,onecouldsee."Onceyou"vewrittenaprogrammelikethat,youhavetospreadit.Imean,onecomputercancatchthevirusfromanother,that"sthebeautyofit.Allyouneedisafloppydiskwiththevirusinit.Feedthediskintoanycomputerandtransferthedataonthediskintothecomputer-whichisdoneallthetime-andbingo,thecomputerthenhasthevirusinsideit,lyinginwait."
"Howdoyoustopit?"Iasked.
"Thereareallsortsofexpensiveprogrammesnowadaysfordetectingandneutralisingviruses.Andawholelotofpeoplethinkingupwaystoinventvirusesthatcan"tbegotridof.It"sawholeindustry.Lovely.Imean,rotten."
Viruses,Ireflected,meantincome,tohim.
"Howdoyoufindoutifyouhaveavirus?"Iasked.
"Thewaytodoitistoscantheinfoinanygivencomputer.ThediskIusetodothathasmorethantwohundredofthecommonervirusesonit.Itwilltellyouifyou"vebeeninfectedbyMichelangeloorJerusalemII.Ifyou"dcalledmelastweek,Icouldhavedoneit."
"Lastweekwesawnoneed,"Isaid."And...um...ifthisMichelangelothingactivatesonlyonMarch6th,then.o.bviouslywedidn"thaveitonourcomputerlastyearonMarch6th."
Ourexpertpartedwithmoreinformation."MichelangelowasinventedsometimeafterMarch6thin1991andonlyworksonIBMcompatiblemachineslikeyours."
"That"snocomfort,"Isaid.
"Er...no.Still,Icancleanupthesemachinesforyouandgiveyouavirus-freeset-upforthefuture.Butyouhavetobecarefulwhatyoufeedintocomputersfromtheoutside.Friendscanlendyouinfecteddisks.And...doyouhaveanyotherterminals?"
"There"soneinmyhouse,"Isaid."Butsomeone"svandalisedit."
Theexpertlookedshocked."Youmean,adifferentvirus?"
"No,Idon"t.Imeananaxe."
Thephysicalsmashingofacomputerpainedhim,onecouldsee.Internalmalignantillnesseswerehisstockintrade.Axescameintomaliciousdamage,hesaid.
"Computervirusesaremaliciousdamage,itseemstome,"Isaid.
"Yes,but.i.t"sagame."
"Notifyou"velostyourlife"swork,"Ipointedout.
"Ifyoudon"tmakeback-ups,you"reanutter."
Iagreedwithhimentirelyaboutback-ups,butIdidn"tthinkvirusesagame.Ithoughtthemaswickedaschemicalwarfare.I"dheardofacomputervirusthathadwipedoutawholegeologicalsurveywiththeresultthatwellsforwaterweren"tdrilledintimeandmorethanathousandpeopleinadesertregiondied.Theauthorofthatparticularvirushadbeenreportedtobedelightedwithitseffectiveness.Toobadaboutthedead.
Isaid,"Isupposethere"snowayoftellingwhetherthisvirusofourswasintroducedintooursystemonpurpos...o...b..accident?"
Hestaredatmeearnestly,handbusythroughthehair.
"Itwouldbeunfriendlytodoitonpurpose."
"Yes."
"Mostvirusesarespreadbyaccident,likeAIDS."
"Howlongcantheyliedormant?"
"Youcouldhaveavirusquitealongtimebeforeitwastriggeredintolife."Hiseyesheldallthesadknowledgeofhisgeneration."Youhavetotakeprecautions."
ItoldhimIwishedwe"dknownhimsoonerandmentionedthenameofthefirmwehaddealtwithinthepast.
Helaughed."Halfthecomputerstheysoldwereawashwithviruses.Theyusedinfecteddiagnosticdisksthemselvesandtheyusedtore-wrapvermin-riddendisksthatpeoplehadreturnedtotheminangerandsellthemagaintothegreatunsuspectingpublic.TheyvanishedovernightbecausetheyknewMarch6thwouldmeananarmyoffuriouscustomerssuingtheirpantsoff.EventhoughMarch6thwasaSunday,we"vedozensofcaseslikeyourstocleanupthisweek.Notourowncustomers,b.u.t.theirs."
Isobellookedshocked."b.u.t.theywerealwayssoniceandhelpful,comingoutherewheneverweneededthem."
"Andfeedinginprogrammesthatwouldkeepyouneedingthem,Ishouldn"twonder,"theexpertsaidwithonlyhalf-disguisedadmiration.
"Ifyoudothattome,"Isaidpleasantly,"yourpantswillbeoffforlife."
Heregardedmethoughtfully."Iwouldn"t,"hesaid,andadded,asifsafeguardinghimselffromfutureaccusationsofwhichhewouldbeinnocent,"Don"tforgetthecommonestreasonforlosingallfilesispiloterror.Imean,youcanwipeeverythingofftheharddiskjustbytypingDELforDelete,followedbyaDirectoryidentification."
Welookedblank.
HesaidtoIsobel,"SupposeyoutypedDELstarfullstopstar,that"sallitwouldtake.JustaseffectiveasMichelangelo.You"dloseeverythingforever."
"No!"Shewashorrified,predictably.
"Yes,"hesmiled."Butpeoplewhowritevirusesseenofuninthat."
"Butwhy?"Isobelasked,unhappilywailing."Whydopeoplewanttowritevirusestocausesuchtrouble?"
"Toshowoff,"Isaid.
Theexpert"seyeswidened.Hedidn"tcareovermuchforthata.s.sessment,Ithought.Hetendedtoomuchtoadmiretheexpertise,notdespisetheself-indulgence.
"Well,"hesaidslowly,"it"struealotofvirus-writerssigntheirnamesintotheprogrammes.There"sonecalledEddie,he"sinventedseveral."
"Justputusbackinbusiness,"Iinterrupted,tiringsuddenlyofthewholesubject."Keepuscleanfromnowonwithregularchecks.We"llworkoutamaintenanceagreement."
"Delighted,"hesaid,thehanddoingdoubletimethroughthehair."You"llbeupandrunningbytomorrow."
Ilefthimpreparingtogowhilewritingalist(expensive)ofwhatwewouldneed,andwentalongtomyownofficetotelephonethemakersofmysafe.
"Anaxe"?"Theyexclaimed,shocked."Areyousure?"
"Ineedthesafeopened,"Iconfirmed."Whatcanyoudoandhowsoon?"
Theygavemethephonenumberoftheirnearestagent.Thenearestagentwouldnodoubtsendalocksmithtolook-see.Thankyou,Isaid.
Thenearestagentsoundedunenthusiasticanddoubtfullysuggestedavisitthefollowingweek.
"Tomorrow,"Isaid.
Therewasasharpintakeofbreath.Icouldimaginethepursedlips,thejudicialshakingofthehead.PossiblyFridayafternoon,theysaid.Possibly.Asagreatfavourtheymightmanageit.
IputthephonedownreflectingthatifImyselfletthatsortofgeneralback-pedallingunwillingnesscreepintoresponsestorequestsformyservices,I"dbetwiddlingmythumbsinnotime.NotonlydidImyselfdriveanywhereanytimeifIhadnootherdriveravailable,butoftenatfiveminutes"noticeI"dhireanextrahorseboxfromarivalsoasnottoturnworkdown.I"dalmostneverbeenunabletogetwheelsoutontheroad.Itwasamatterofpride,ofcourse,b.u.t.thesortofpridethatgotthingsdone.
AzizcameintotheofficetocollectthekeysoftheFourtrakinordertodriveLizzietoHeathrow.Ihandedthemtohimandreflexivelyaskedhimtodrivehercarefully.
"Slowdownforroundabouts?"heasked,eyesbrilliant.
"Oh,G.o.d."Ifeltlikelaughingforthefirsttimethatmorning."Yeah.Gethertotheshuttleontime."
Whenhe"dgone,Isatforawhilethinkingofthisandthat,andthenIphonedthecomputerexpertagain.Heansweredatonce,reportingcontentedlythathewasfixingyetanotherMichelangelocasualtyanda.s.suringmehe"dbebackwithustomorrowmorning.
"Fine,"Isaid,"but...er...couldyouansweraquestion?"
"Fireaway."
Isaid,"Canyouchangethedateinthecomputer?CouldyouchangeitsinternalclocksothatMarch6thinthecomputerwouldn"tturnupatall?CouldyouchangeMarch6thtoMarch7th?"
"Sure,"hesaidreadily."It"sawellknownwayofavoidingMarch6th.SwitchtheclockforwardtoMarch7ththenswitchitbacktotherightdateacoupleofdayslater.Easy,ifyouknowwhatyou"redoing."
"And...youcouldadvanceorr.e.t.a.r.dMarch6thsothat.i.tactivatedontheactualMarch5thorontheactualMarch7th?"
"Yes."Apause."Thatwouldbepositivemalice.You"dhavetoknowtheviruswasinthere."
"But.i.twouldbepossible?Possibletochangethehours,too?"
"Yes."
"Howlongwouldittakeyoutochangetheclock?"
"Mepersonally?Sayaminute,maximum."
"AndifIdiditmyself?"
"Well,"hesaidthoughtfully,"ifsomeonewrotedownforyouexactlywhattodo,stepbystep,orifyouhadaninstructionbook,you"dhavetoallowmaybefiveminutesofprivacy,becauseyou"dhavetoconcentrate."Hepausedagain."Doyouseriouslythinksomeonechangedyourclock?Becauseit"ssettotherightdateandtimenow,I"lltellyou."
"Idon"tknow,"Isaid."Ijustasked."
"Anytime,"hereplied."Solong.Seeyoutomorrow."
Iwasfightingshadows,Ithought.Seeingvillainsbehindeverybush.Thegreatprobabilitywasthatmycomputer,likesomanyothers,hadaccidentallycrashed.Andifithadn"t...thensomewhereinitsrecordstheremustbeinformationIneededforunlockingsurroundingmysteries.InformationthatsomefoeorothermustknowIpossessed.
Todestroytherecords,itwaseasiesttotypeDELstarfullstopstar.Yettodothatonehadtobepresent,andthediskfailurewouldbeinstantaneous.Changingthecomputer"sclocktoactivateMichelangelomeantthatanyfuturehourcouldbechosen,likeatimebombgoingoff.
SandySmithdrovehispolicecarintothefarmyardandparkeditoutsidetheofficewindow.Hecameintojoinme,takingoffhispeakedcapandsitting,uninvitedbutwelcome,inthechairacrossfrommine.
Jogger"sinquest,"hesaid,wipinghisforehead.
"Howdiditgo?"
Heshrugged."Openedandadjourned,likeIsaid.Iidentifiedhim.DrFarwaygaveevidenceofdeath.Thecoronerlookedatthephotosandhe"dreadthepost-mortemreport.Headjournedpendingfurtherenquiries."Sandysigheddeeply."I"dbetterwarnyouhewasn"thappy.IhearditsaidthatJoggerdiedfromcrushinganddislocationoftheatlasandthattherewereparticlesofrustembeddedinhisskinatthesiteoftheinjury."
"Rust!"Irepeated,notlikingit.