"Tessacanbeabitofahandful,sometimes,"Shelookedmildlyruefulbutforgiving."Seventeen"sarebelliousage,Isuppose."
"Didyourebel?"Iasked.
"No,actually.Idon"tthinkso.Didyou?"
"Iwas...o...b..syriding."
"Andhereyoustillare,inyourfather"shouse."Shemockedmegently."Youneverevenlefthome."
"HomeiswhereverIam,"Isaid.
"Wow.How"sthatforuttersecurity!"
"Youwouldn"tcaretoleaveMichael,Isuppose?"
"Andfourchildren?Andanintegratedlife?AndI"molderthanyou,anyway."
Thethingthatmadethegamemostworthplaying,Ithought,wasthecertaintythatIwouldn"twinit.Shefinishedherdrinkhappily,mydesireforheraspleasurableanintoxificationasthebubbles.Casualconsummationwouldhavespoiledthefutureandshewastoonicetoallowit.Sheputdownhergla.s.sandstoodup,smiling.
"Ifyouneedanything,letusknow."
"Yes,"Isaid.
"SeeyouonSunday,then."
Iwalkedouttohercarwithherandgotanaffectionate,pa.s.sionlesskissandacarefreewavea.s.sheturnedhercaranddeparted.Celibacy,Ithought,returningtothehouse,couldgoonfortoolong,andtoolong,atthatpoint,wasayear.TheolderIgrew,themoreIsawconsequencesinadvanceandthemoreIcared,likeMaudie,aboutnotdoingdamageforthesakeofapa.s.singpleasure.Ilookedbackovertheyearswithhorror,sometimes.AfterI"dlostSusanPalmerstone,I"ddriftedinandoutofseveralrelationshipswithoutunderstandingthatImighthaveawokenmuchdeeperfeelingsthanIfeltmyself;andI"ddodgedathrownplateortwoandlaughedabout.i.t.Howdreadfullylongithadtakenmetostopgrazing.Allthesame...Isighed.
Iwentintothesitting-roomtoseewhatIcouldretrievefromthemess,andstoodconsideringtheansweringmachine,whichhadbeensplitintotwopieceswithitsguts,intheshapeofrecordingtape,unspoolingontothefloor.
Onthetape,Ithought,wasJogger"svoice.
Ihadn"tintheendwrittendownexactlywhathe"dsaid,andalthoughIcouldmoreorlessremember,Iwasn"tcertainofbeingexact.NoamountofrhymingdictionarywouldhelpifIgottheoriginalwordswrong.Irummagedinthekitchenforastarscrewdriverandothertoolsandliberatedthehackedpiecesofca.s.settefromtheansweringmachine,tryingnottotearthetapeitselfbutfindingthattheaxe,ingoingthroughoneofthespools,hadseveredalotofitintoveryshortlengths.
Cursing,Isoughtandfoundanoldca.s.settewithnothingofnoteonit,andtookthatapartandremovedallthetapefromit.ThenIcarefullyunrolledthewholeofthelongestsectionoftapefromtheansweringmachine"soneundamagedspoolandwounditfromitsbeginningontooneofthenewlyfreedspools.Iattachedtheseveredendtothesecondfreedspoolandreplacedthemintotheirca.s.sette,s.c.r.e.w.i.n.gitshutagain.
ThenIsearchedthehouseforanoldseldom-usedpocket-sizedca.s.setteplayerwhichIknewIhadsomewhere,butnaturallywhenIfinallyranittoearthitsbatterieswereflat.
AshortpauseensuedwhileIraidedanothergadgetwiththesamesizebatteriesinworkingorder,butfinally,withasortofprayer,Ipressedthe"play"b.u.t.tonandheldmybreath.
"Ihatethisb.l.o.o.d.ymachine,"Jogger"svoicesaid."Wherehaveyougone,Freddie?"
Loudandclear.Hallelujah.
Thewholeofhismessagewasthere,thoughslightlydistortedbymynothavingwoundthetapeevenlyenough.WhenIranitbackandthenforwardagainthedistortionshaddisappeared.Itookasheetofpaperandwrotedownwhathe"dsaid,wordforword,indicatinghispauseswithdots,butIstilldidn"tunderstandhismeaning.
AdeadnuninthepitlastAugust.
Mostunlikely!Someonewouldhavetoldmeabout.i.teventhoughI"dspentagooddealofAugustinFrance(Deauvilleraces)andAmerica(Saratoga,ditto).
Whatrhymedwithnun?Bun,done,fun,run,sun...
No.Whatpairedwithnun?
Nunandmonk.
Monk...bunk,chunk,dunk,drunk,funk,hunk,junk,punk,sunk,stunk,chipmunk.
Adeadchipmunk?Adeadfunk?Adeadhunk?Hunkofwhat?Deadjunk.Deadpunk?Adeaddrunk"?
IwouldgivethetranscripttoNina,Ithought,andletthecollectivebrainsoftheJockeyClubSecurityServicelooseonit.Ilaidthenonsenseasidefeelingthatevenifwecrackedthecodethemessagecouldturnouttobeirrelevant.Joggerobviouslyhadn"tknownhewasgoingtodie.Hehadn"tbeenleavingmeanintenselysignificantmessage,fearingittobehislast.
WithashiftoffocusIswitchedonthenewcomputer,hopingtherewouldn"tbeaflashandafizzleandanothertotalcollapseofharddisk.Amazingly,however,thewizardhadrestoredmetosmoothcomputerlife,everythingworkingasbefore.IcalledupIsobel"sofficemachinetoseewhat,ifanything,sheandRosehadenteredandfiledsincethatmorning.
They"dbeenbusy,bothofthem.They"dbeenquick,conscientious,generouswiththeirtime.I"dtoldbothofthemtostartwiththatday"sentriesandgoslowlybackwardsbetweentheirotherjobs,iftheycould,butnottogofurtherbackinanycasethanthebeginningofthemonth.
"Leaveitonpaperfornow,"Isaid.
"b.u.t.thespreadsheets..."Rosesaid.
"Leavethespreadsheets."
"Ifyousayso,"sheagreeddoubtfully.
"It"sourownfaultwelosteverything,"Isobelsaiddolefully.
"Nevermind."Istilldidn"ttellthemImightproducefullback-upcopiesif,first,thesafecrackerdidn"tsomehowdestroythemingettingthesafeopen,andif,second,theMichelangelovirushadn"talreadywipedthemout.Ialsodidn"twanttoincurarepeatattackonmyselformybelongingsifsomeoneheardthedisks.e.xistedandknewtheycouldrevealhighriskinformation.Thebruiseonmyheadmightbefading,butmycarandmysitting-roomcontinuallyremindedmethatmelodramainPixhillhadcomethroughmygatesandmightnotyetbeextinct.
OnthescreenIreadthenextday"sengagementsforthefleet.Notbadforthatweek:steeplechaserstoWolverhamptonandLingfieldPark.Broodmarestothreestuds.IrishhorsestoBristolairport,returninghomefromCheltenham.
AdvanceplansforSat.u.r.daylookedgood.
IcalledupthedirectoryoffilestoseewhatelseIsobelandRosehadenteredandfoundanunusualonethere:"Visitors".
"Visitors"turnedouttobethelistI"daskedthemforofeveryonetheycouldrememberwho"dvisitedthefarmyardofficelately.
Thedears,Ithought,pleased.Helpfulbeyondduty.
Thelistread: Allthedrivers.e.xceptGerryandPat,whohaveflu.(They"llbothbeworkingagainnextweekorsoonafter,theysay.)Vicandhiswife(theybothnowhaveflu).TessaWatermead(lookingforNigelorLewis).JerichoRich(abouthishorses).ConstableSmith(aboutthedeadman).DrFarway(aboutthedeadman).MrTigwood(collectingbox).Betsy(MrWatermead"ssecretary).BrettGardner(whenheleft).MrsWilliams(cleaner).LornaLipton(lookingforFC,buthewasdrivingtheshuttle).Paul(Isobel"sbrother,borrowedsomemoney).Mandeliveringdisinfectantchemicals.
Itypedathankyoumessageontothelistandmadeaback-upcopyofthenewworkontoacleanunusedfloppy,thoughIsuspectedtheofficewouldbeankle-deepinback-upsfromnowon.Iswitchedoffthecomputer,madesomefood,dranktherestofthechampagneandthoughtalotaboutviruses,bothorganicandelectronic.
Ninatelephoned,yawning,ataboutten.
"Whereareyou?"Iasked.
"Inthecabofthehorsebox,inthefarmyard.We"verefuelledandNigel"shosingdowntheoutsideofthebox,thankG.o.d.I"mknackered."
"Whathappened?"
"Nothing,don"tworry.Thetripwentaccordingtoplan.We"vedeliveredtheshowjumper.Theowner"sfather,JerichoRich,hewastherewhenweunloaded,shoutingordersallovertheplace.Whatab.l.o.o.d.yawkwardman.Inearlysnappedhisheadoffb.u.t.thoughtI"dbetternot,foryoursake.No,nothingmuchelsehappened,it"sjustthatthislong-distancedrivinglarkisajobforstrongyoungmen,you"rerightaboutthat."
"HowdidyougetonwithNigel?"
"MyG.o.d,he"srandy.HadhishandonmykneeacoupleoftimesandI"moldenoughtobehismother.Actuallyhe"s...o...b..dfun.Nocomplaints.Wechattedalot.CanItellyoutomorrow?"Sheyawnedagain."He"snearlyfinishedthecleaning.He"sgotinexhaustiblestamina."
"Hischiefvirtue,"Iagreed.
"Seeyouinthemorning.Bye."
InthemorningIwenttothefarmyardearly,wantingtoseesomeofthedriversbeforetheysetoff.HarvehimselfwasdownforanearlystarttoWolverhampton,andinsuchabsencesofhisIveryoftenwanderedaroundincasetherewerelast-minutequeriesoralterations.
Earlystartswerenormal,asmosttrainersinsistedontheirhorsesarrivingatacourseatleastthreehoursbeforetheywereduetorace.Inthewinter,whenracingcouldstartatnooninordertocompletetheprogrammeintheabbreviateddaylight,thedriverscouldbeloadingatsixorseveninthedarkandunloadinginthedarktwelvehourslater,accordingtothelengthofthejourney.Bythevernalequinox,wewereloadingandunloadingatdawnandduskwiththelonglightsummerdaysbeckoning,andinthethreeyearsI"dhadthebusinessI"dseenaregularpatternofenergyenhancedbythesun.TheworkloadmightbethesameinJanuaryandJune,butnotthefatiguelevel.
MostofthedriverswereinthecanteenwhenIarrivedonthatFriday.Theskyoutsidewasgloriouslypinkandginger,high,clearandcold.Inthecanteenthetealookedthecolourofteakwithstrengthtomatch,andwhiteplasticteaspoonsstooduprightinthesugarbowl.
"Morning,Freddie..."
Iansweredthechorus."Goodmorning."
HarvehadalreadysetofftoWolverhampton.Icheckedtheothera.s.sembleddriversagainstthelistI"dcopiedfromthecomputerscreenandfoundthemallwellbriefedbyHarveandIsobel.IrealisedI"dleftalottothosetwosinceTuesdaynightandhadbeenmoreaffectedthanI"dacknowledgedbytherattlingofmybrain.
Phil,DaveandLewiswerethere,Lewisshowingnosignofflu.Nigel,despitehislatereturntheeveningbefore,exudedundiminishedanimalstrength.Azizsmiled,asever.Abunchofotherslookedattheirwatches,dranktheirtannin,usedthewashroomandambledoutonacollectivemissiontopickupmostofthePixhillhorsesthatwererunningthatafternoonatLingfieldPark.
DavewasdowntogowithAzizinthenine-boxonabroodmaremissiontoIreland.Bothmenhadarrivedinplentyoftime,andIaskedDavetocomealongtomyofficeasIhadsomethingtodiscusswithhim.Hecameinhisusualhappy-go-luckyway,carryinghisteamugandwearinganamiableunsuspectingexpression.
Igesturedtohimtositinthechairinfrontofthedeskandclosedthedoorbehindus.
"OK,Dave,"Isaid,takingthechairbehindthedeskandfeelingirritationwithhim,ratherthanoutrightanger,"wh.o.a.rrangedyourdiarrhoea?"
"What?"Heblinked,dismissingthethoughtcrossinghismind.DismissingthepossibilitythatIknewwhathe"ddone.Dismissingitwrongly,toosoon.
"Diarrhoea,"Iremindedhim,"needingastopatSouthMimmsservicestationtobuyImodium."
"Oh...yes.That.Mm.That"sright."
"Wh.o.a.rrangedthatstop?"
"What?Well,noone.Ihadthesquits,like."
"Let"sjustfaceit,Dave,"Isaidashadewearily,"youdidnotpickupKevinKeithOgdenbyaccident."
"Who?"
"Thehitchhiker.Andlet"sstopplayinggames.YouknowperfectlywellwhoImean.Youwenttohisinquestyesterday.YouandBrettstoppedatSouthMimms...o...b..causeofanymythicalsquitsb.u.t.topickupapa.s.sengerinordertotakehimtoChieveley.Allofwhichyoudidnottellthecoroner."
Dave"smouthopenedwithautomaticdenialsreadyandclosedonaccountofwhathesawinmyface.
"Wh.o.a.rrangedit?"Irepeated.
Hedidn"tknowwhattosay.Icouldalmostchartthetumblingthoughts;couldclearlyseetheindecision.Iwaitedwhileheconsultedhisteaandsearchedforanswersinthebrighteningskybeyondthewindow.Thelittle-boyfrecklesasalwayslenthis.e.xpressionanaturalairofinnocenceb.u.t.thehalf-slyartfula.s.sessinglookhefinallygavemespokeofamoreadultguilt.
"Therewasnothingwronginit,"hesaidwheedlingly.
"Howdoyouknow?"
HetriedoneoftheingratiatinggrinstowhichIwasbythenimmune."Whatmakesyouthinkitwasarranged?LikeIsaid,therewasthisgeezercadgingalift..."
"Stopit,Dave,"Isaidsharply."Ifyouwanttokeepyourjob,you"lltellmethetruth."
Shockstoppedhim.I"dneverlookedforbiddingtohimbefore."Thetruth,"Iurged.
"Honestly,Freddie,Ididn"tmeannoharm."Hebegantolookworried."Whatharmcoulditdo?"
"Whatwasthearrangement?"
"Look,itcouldn"tdonoharmtogiveama.n.a.lift."
"Whopaidyou?"
"I...well..."
"Who?"Iinsisted."Oryougetonyourbikenowandyoudon"tcomeback."
"Noone,"hesaiddesperately."Allright.Allright.Iwa.s.supposedtobepaid,butIneverwas."Hisdisgustlookedgenuine."Imean,youweren"tsupposedtoknowabouthim,b.u.t.thenhedied..."Hisvoicefaded,therealisationofhisadmissionhittinghome."TheysaidIwouldfindanenvelopeinthecabofthenine-boxfirstthingFriday,butofcoursetheboxwasoutsideyourhouseandtherewasnoenvelopeinitinthemorning,thoughIlookedforitwhenwewerecleaning,like,andI"veneverheardnomore,andit"snotfair."
"Servesyouright,"Isaidunsympathetically."Wh.o.a.rethey?
"What?"
""They"whosaidyouwouldfindanenvelopeinthecab?"
"Well "Dave!"Isaid,exasperated."Getonwithit."
"Yes,but,see,Idon"tknow."
Isaidsarcastically,"YouagreedtodosomethingyouknewIhadoverandoveragainforbidden,andyoudon"tknowwhoyoujeopardisedyourjobfor?"
"Yes,but..."
"n.o.buts,"Isaid."Howdid"they"getintouchwithyou,andwere"they"amanorawoman?"
"Er..."
Iwouldstranglehim,Ithought.
"Allright,"hesaid,"allright."Hetookanunhappybreath."Itwasashe,andshephonedmeathomeandmywifeanswereditandshedidn"tlikeitbeingsomestrangewoman,notIsobel,like,butanywaythiswomanjustsaiditwouldbeworthmywhiletogivethisma.n.a.lift,andyoudon"tturndownwindfallslikethat.Imean...well...it"sallbeermoney,isn"t.i.t?"
Didyourecognisehervoice?"