Hearing the familliar low and gravelly deep voice, Fan Zhu Xia involuntarily stiffened before she forced herself to relax and take a deep calming breath.Looking at her, Fan Hui Zhong could somehow see his daughter compose herself before lifting her gaze and pasting on her signature mischievous smile while exclaiming brightly and saying, "Father! Big Brother! What brings you here this early today?"
"Xia"er, we need to talk..." Fan Hui Zhong replied quietly, with a voice that seemed uncharacteristically grim to Fan Zhu Xia which made her feel a tremor of nervousness run down her spine.
Sending an uneasy glance towards Fan Li Jie, all Fan Zhu Xia got was an encouraging smile before he gestured for the two new maidservants to follow him.
Giving a reluctant nod to Chun Tao and Chun Hua, the two servants, quickly got up and excused themselves, following Fan Li Jie"s lead and disappearing inside the courtyard building, leaving only the silent father and daughter.
Not knowing what to do, Fan Zhu Xia gathered her courage and then swallowed lightly before clearing her throat and cheerily asking, "Would you like some tea, Father? The brew that Chun Tao and Chun Hua prepared for me is especially good!"
"Xia"er..."
"How about some of these dumplings? I just tried them earlier and they were really delicious!"
"Xia"er..."
"Oh and you should try them with this savory pheasant bird nest soup! The dumplings really go great with them and the..."
Starting to feel a bit exasperated at his daughter"s obvious attempts to deflect, Fan Hui Zhong heaved a heavy sigh before sharply interrupting her in mid-sentence, "Xia"er, enough!"
Startled, Fan Zhu Xia immediately snap her mouth shut and ended up looking at Fan Hui Zhong with big, wide eyes that somewhat struck Fan Hui Zhong as the same look a frightened, skittish animal would give him which made him feel even guiltier than he already is.
Sighing tiredly, he slowly made his way to Fan Zhu Xia, as if afraid of making any sudden movements that might startle her further.
"Calm down little one, I just want to talk." Hui Zhong told his daughter gently, wanting to ease her obviously high-strung nerves.
A moment of silence pa.s.sed between them before both of them opened their mouth at the same time and simultaneously spoke out.
"Xia"er, I"m sorry..."
"Sorry, Father..."
Falling silent once more as their eyes snapped to meet each others gazes before Fan Zhu Xia tentatively smiled which made Fan Hui Zhong heave a sigh of relief before a grin slowly formed on his usually expressionless face making it look younger and less intimidating.
With his conscience slightly eased, Fan Hui Zhong awkwardly scratched his beard-covered chin and coughed slightly before talking with a serious look on his eyes.
"Little one, will you let this old man explain the reason why your uncle and I reacted the way we did yesterday?"
A bit taken aback, Fan Zhu Xia could only nod her head slowly since she didn"t really expect that she"ll get an explanation from them. In fact, she thought that she would actually have to explain why she acted the way she did!
Seeing her nod her a.s.sent, Fan Hui Zhong nervously swallowed and fidgeted for a second before finally opening his mouth to talk.
"It wasn"t that we don"t trust you, Xia"er. It"s more like Liang"er and I really have no idea on how we can explain what happened with your grandfather."
"I understand."
"No...you don"t. I know that you felt that we don"t think you have any business knowing about it; just because I only adopted you and you cannot be more further from the truth!" Fan Hui Zhong vehemently reb.u.t.ted, looking extremely distressed as he gazed at Fan Zhu Xia with aggrieved eyes.
Before continuing on, Fan Hui Zhong reached across the table, pa.s.s all the cups and dishes to take Fan Zhu Xia"s hand which was loosely curved around a teacup into his grasp and then tightly held onto them making Zhu Xia look at him with a bittersweet smile.
"I understand what you"re trying to tell me, Father... I guess you can say I"m just afraid to lose you too after all it"s not like I"ve been the ideal daughter!" Fan Zhu Xia replied with a self-depracating laugh as she shook her head slowly before looking down to gaze at their clasped hands.
Feeling his daughter trying to pull her hand away slowly, Fan Hui Zhong just tightened his hold and replied with a choked voice, "Stop talking like that... in fact, stop thinking like that altogether!"
Startled, Fan Zhu Xia"s head snapped up to look at Fan Hui Zhong when she saw the man who"s been her pillar of support, her rock throughout the past three years; slowly crumble in front of her with tears in his eyes.
Distressed at seeing the sight of Fan Hui Zhong looking so vulnerable for the very first time since she knew him, Fan Zhu Xia couldn"t help but worriedly exclaim, "Father, please!"
Letting out a bitter laugh, Fan Hui Zhong half-heartedly smiled at his daughter and rea.s.sured her.
"No need to worry about
me, Xia"er... there"s no need for that but there is something you need to understand and never forget."
Looking straight into Fan Zhu Xia"s eyes, Fan Hui Zhong held on tighter to her hand and said with a gruff voice filled with emotion, "Xia"er, always remember that you are my daughter. No matter what happens, where we are, who we are with... nothing and I mean nothing is ever going to change that! From the moment I took you in, I already thought of you as my own... and coming here doesn"t change any of that... Do you understand?"
"I...Father, I..." stuttering, too lost for words; Fan Zhu Xia felt so overwhelmed with emotions that she didn"t even know what to say that she ended up trailing off and just staring blankly with wide eyes at Fan Hui Zhong.
"Xia"er, you may not be of my own flesh and blood but I love you as I would any daughter of mine. Please never doubt that... You may not have realized it but it was you who brought me back to how I was before... it was you who brought me out of my grief of losing my wife and child... You weren"t the only one who"s life changed when I found you on that riverbank that day... You changed mine too." Fan Hui Zhong told her gruffly, his hand involuntarily clenching further to the point that it almost hurt yet Fan Zhu Xia didn"t say anything to stop him.
She just looked at Fan Hui Zhong with blurry eyes as she blinked, causing tears to slowly rol down her snowy-white cheeks, falling like crystalline water drops down a flower"s soft petal.
Fan Zhu Xia felt the strong emotions and conviction that Fan Hui Zhong was trying to convey and it left her speechless. Gazing at the man sitting across from her, the way he looked at her brought to mind how her uncle and father used to look at her when she was still a young child.
It even reminded her of some of the times that Ning Jun Qiao comforted her when she was sad or afraid and the thought of him, of how he used to treat her and look after her, as well as the memory of the last time she ever saw him which just made Fan Zhu Xia cry even harder.
Heaving sobs, slowly took over and racked her body as she tried choking out the words that she wanted to say.
"I"m sorry... Zhu Xia is so sorry..."
Seeing her break down, Fan Hui Zhong immediately got up from his seat and gathered Fan Zhu Xia into his arms, rocking her gently while whispering comforting words.
His actions, in turn, just made Fan Zhu Xia cry harder as she clung to him and buried her head into his chest, soaking his front with her tears as she continously apologized.
Sensing that it wasn"t just him that brought Fan Zhu Xia tears but most likely it was also the thought of her old family, Fan Hui Zhong just sat on the ground slowly, leaning Fan Zhu Xia gently on his chest and hushed her cries while stroking her back like how you would a crying child.
"We understand, little one. It wasn"t your fault, it never was..."