Dry Fish and Wet

Chapter 31

"My dear old Nick, don"t try that on with me. I"ve just heard about it from my particular friend Abrahamsen. And I don"t mind telling you I"m out to put the brave Lieutenant"s nose out of joint if I can."

"H"m--well, it"s right enough. And as for the Lieutenant, why, "twould be easy enough. But Cilia"s a different matter, now she"s got her head puffed up with all this "fashionable" nonsense. Old Soren has fairly got his blood up this time though; he wanted her declared unfit to act, and a legal guardian appointed--what do you say to that?"

"Look here, Nickelsen, what if you and I put our heads together and fixed it up ourselves for Malvina and Abrahamsen?"

"Good Lord above us, what are you thinking of? Do you want me to play _postillon d"amour_ for all the loving couples in the town?"

"Well, it"s a n.o.ble mission, you know, really. Just think how Tulla and I look up to you with--er--with affection and esteem--since that banquet affair."



"You can think yourself lucky it went off as well as it did," said Old Nick.

"Oh--this"ll come off all right too, you"ll see. Come along, let"s set to work and draw up a plan of campaign. We"re getting quite old hands at the game."

Old Nick was not without some scruples, but after further pressure he at last consented to give his support as far as he could.

As a result of mature deliberation the following scheme was drawn up, to be submitted to Soren Braaten and Abrahamsen for consideration:

1. Soren to arrange that Thor Smith and Abrahamsen be among the guests invited to the party.

2. Soren to say a few words of welcome to the guests at table, whereupon Lawyer Nickelsen would make a "flowing and eloquent" speech proposing the host and hostess.

3. Immediately after this the grand scene, wherein Soren Braaten, rising again, delivers a speech, prepared beforehand by Nickelsen and Smith, announcing Malvina"s engagement to Abrahamsen.

This surprise attack, the conspirators reckoned, could not fail to throw the enemy"s forces into confusion.

Both, however, knowing Cilia"s temper, her energy and force of character, were agreed that the plan had its weak points. She might, for instance, prefer to make a scene rather than surrender unconditionally. Nevertheless, both Smith and Old Nick thought she would probably give way; and having regard to the sound strategic principle that a purely defensive position is generally untenable, they thought best to urge the Triple Alliance to take the offensive at the earliest opportunity.

No sooner said than done. Soren and Abrahamsen were sent for, and lost no time in making their appearance; both had a feeling that great events were in the air.

Meantime, the enemy was not inactive. The Lieutenant, certain of victory, now that he had secured so powerful an ally as Cilia, had already confided his intentions to his father. The magistrate, in his own mind, could not help thinking that a daughter of his former parlourmaid was hardly a match for his son, but on the other hand it might make a man of him. And the Braatens were said to be quite wealthy people. Malvina was the only child, so that from that point of view, no objection could be raised. Finally, he declared himself willing to give his consent, but, learning that the engagement was to be formally announced at dinner on the following day, he became serious, and went down quietly to his office to prepare a speech suited to the occasion. His consent to the marriage was one thing, but he was resolved that it should not lead to overmuch intimacy between the two families. And this he was anxious to point out, with all possible delicacy, of course, but definitely enough to permit of no misunderstanding.

The party a.s.sembled at Old Nick"s, including Thor Smith, Abrahamsen and Soren Braaten, were unanimous in declaring the proposed scheme admirable. The only hesitation was on the part of Soren, who, being himself cast for the leading part, naturally felt the risk. The others, however, insisted that no one else could do it, and he therefore agreed to sacrifice himself in a forlorn hope for the general good.

On being handed the speech, carefully written out by Old Nick himself, Soren scratched his head and looked thoroughly miserable. He had never made a speech in his life, and had no sort of confidence in his declamatory powers. There was no help for it, however, and with a sigh he thrust the paper into his waistcoat pocket.

Before leaving he was instructed to make known the details of the plan to Malvina, and charge her to be as amiable as possible to Heidt, in order to avoid any suspicion in the minds of the others as to the conspiracy afoot.

On reaching home, he sought out Malvina and explained the situation, whereafter the two in concert managed to get Cilia to invite Thor Smith and Abrahamsen at the eleventh hour; Cilia herself, as far as could be seen, had no suspicion of any covert motive underlying the request.

Nearly all that night Soren sat up in his bedroom brooding over the speech. "Gentlemen and--er--h"m--I should say ladies and gentlemen--er--I rise to this--I rise on this occasion..." etc.

Soren toiled at the speech, sweating properly, and cursing at intervals, till nearly morning. And when at last he fell asleep, it was only to dream that Old Nick stood over him, tweaking his nose with the fire-tongs, while he strove in vain to get beyond the opening sentence of his oration.

He awoke, however, in excellent spirits, and ceased to worry about the speech at all, arguing to himself that it would come off all right once he got going. He ran up the flag with his own hands, and meeting Cilia in the kitchen as he came in, he chucked her under the chin with a cheerful: "Well, old lady, feeling fit?" Whereat Cilia was considerably taken aback, being all unused to such attentions.

There was great excitement in the town as to how the much-talked-of party would go off, and, long before the appointed hour, the garden fence was lined outside by the youth of the neighbourhood, awaiting the arrival of the guests.

"There"s Holm Berg, boys, stovepipe and all--and here"s the Lieutenant with his pig-sticker--and look at Old Nick in his white gloves, and walking like he was on stilts--hurraa--a--a!"

The house was brilliantly illuminated and looked very festive indeed; so overwhelming was the display that most of the natives stole away into odd corners where they could see as much as possible without being seen. Lt. Heidt was thoroughly at home, and helped to look after the guests, though this, indeed, was superfluous, Soren himself exhibiting so much sangfroid and confidence of manner that he might have been on board his own vessel and in sole command. He shook hands with each as they arrived, and bade them welcome with smiling self-possession. Cilia hardly knew him in this new guise as master of the house, and a shiver of excitement thrilled her as she thought of the developments in store. She had, indeed, sufficient reason for anxiety, inasmuch as she had had a serious talk with Malvina just before the guests arrived, endeavouring to extract from her a promise to give a favourable answer to Lt. Heidt. But there was no getting anything definite out of Malvina; she demanded time to think it over.

The first slight stiffness among the guests soon disappeared, and, by the time dinner was served, most of them felt quite sufficiently at home to do full justice to an excellent repast.

There were to be no speeches until dessert, and now the fateful moment was near.

Malvina was in a corner with Lt. Heidt, the latter so tender and smiling that old Mrs. Berg nudged the parson"s wife and whispered, "Look, I"m sure he"s proposing now!" The lady addressed, however, was somewhat deaf, and looked up with an inquiring "Eh?" Mrs. Berg did not venture to repeat the observation out loud, and subst.i.tuted a remark about "the jelly delicious, don"t you think?"

Malvina turned pale and red alternately with emotion; there was no getting out of the corner, for Heidt barred the way. Now and again she cast a despairing glance at the Cupid, as if asking aid; but no, the figure only stared back with a silly smile--ridiculous creature!

Abrahamsen, in the pa.s.sage adjoining, was watching the pair with ill-repressed impatience. The sight of the young lieutenant bending close and whispering confidentially to Malvina made him tingle, and he clenched his fists. Abrahamsen was an ill man to jest with, and, as Soren was wont to say, he had a pair of fists as heavy as the flippers of a full-grown seal.

Coolest of all the conspirators was Old Nick, who walked about, smiling and content, enjoying his own observation of the entire menagerie, as he called it. Towards Cilia he was deference itself, and won her heart completely by addressing her as "Mrs. Braathen."

At last Soren tapped his gla.s.s; all eyes were at once turned towards him. He started off simply and easily; he had just one thing to say and that was, he thanked them all for their presence there this evening, and was very glad to see them under his humble roof. Your health! Cilia was quite proud of her husband for once, and not a little surprised; it was not a bit like Soren. Where on earth had he picked it up? She herself had previously asked Lt. Heidt, as a friend of the family, to say a few words of welcome, but Soren had managed it excellently already. Well, so much the better; it would show Lt.

Heidt that even he was not indispensable.

Old Nick then rose, and proposed "our host and hostess" in a speech so fluent and cordial that even the parson"s wife, who had scarcely heard a word of it, declared it was "perfectly charming."

All drank with Cilia, who curtsyed and nodded and smiled, and nodded again, until her head almost fell off; never in her dreams had she imagined such an exalted moment.

The regulation speeches were now over, and nothing more was expected beyond a few words from the parson, when, to Cilia"s astonishment and the surprise of the guests, Soren again stepped forward and raised his gla.s.s.

Cilia"s first thought was that her husband had taken a drop too much, but his calm, easy manner disposed of that idea in a moment. She wondered what on earth was going to happen, and for the first time in her life the foundations of her despotic power seemed shaken.

There was a tense silence among the guests; what could he have to say? Old Nick stood beside him, chatting easily with Malvina as if nothing were amiss. Thor Smith was out in the pa.s.sage with Abrahamsen. Justice Heidt, who had been waiting all the evening for the "declaration," drew a little nearer, in the belief that it was coming.

Soren drank off his own gla.s.s of sherry, and having reinforced it with Old Nick"s and the parson"s, which stood nearest on the table, he gave vent to a long sigh, or grunt, and commenced as follows:

"Ladies and Gentlemen: as mentioned, there"s a thing we call a union, which means, well--a sort of union, you know" (loud applause from some of the younger men, who thought Soren was referring to the Union of Norway and Sweden), "and you can"t have any sort of union without--h"m--respect and--h"m--affection on both sides." (Here the speaker directed a lowering glance at Lt. Heidt, who was moving towards the table.)

"There was a whole lot more I was supposed to say about this, but I"ve forgotten the rest. And, anyhow, it"s a bit of a large order to expect an old skipper like me to rattle out all that stuff about garlands of roses and bonds of something--or--other." Old Nick gave a despairing glance at Thor Smith, who shook his head sadly. "Well, anyhow, it"s as well to take the bull by the horns, so here you are.

Abrahamsen, you"ve had charge of the old _Birkebeineren_ two voyages this year, and I hereby make no bones about giving you my girl Malvina, to sail her without deviation or any delay, as the apple of my heart, across the ocean of life, with all due care and seamanship, as set forth in the bills of lading. And seeing as that same ocean"s given to foul weather and suchlike perils, dangers and accidents of the sea or other waters, you"ll need to keep a sharp look-out and navigate according. And, well, the Lord be with you. Amen."

Cilia, who was nervous and unsettled enough beforehand, now lost her head completely, and as the guests crowded round to offer their congratulations, she sank into a chair holding a handkerchief to her eyes. And when Malvina came up to embrace her, she broke down completely.

Lt. Heidt turned sharply about in military fashion, and strode magnificently out into the hall. On the way he encountered Old Nick, who was rude enough to smile at him, and say, "Rather neat that, don"t you think?"

Justice Heidt retired quietly, inwardly congratulating himself with the thought that it was just as well he had escaped closer connection with so plebeian a family!

When the guests had left, Soren sat down beside his wife and took her hand, endeavouring to comfort her as well as he could. Cilia still wept, however; as if all the tears she might have shed in her life, but never had, were bursting forth at once. So copious indeed was the flow, that Soren privately reckoned out it would have sufficed to water half the carrot patch at least.

It was with strange thoughts that Cilia retired to rest. She was beginning to realise that she had been dethroned; her power within-doors and abroad was gone for ever; she had made a fool of herself with a vengeance. It was a bitter thing to feel. She went over in her mind the events of the summer: Soren"s journey to Sandefjord, her own expedition to Christiania with Lt. Heidt, the party, and the new furniture--how could she ever have been so foolish, so insane!

Towards morning she grew calmer; she had decided what to do, and was herself again.

She rose before the others were stirring, and lit a big fire in the kitchen. Her sharp features showed firm and decided as she stood before the stove, stiffly upright, one hand fiercely clenching a crumpled roll of something white. This she presently threw into the flames with a deep sigh--but a sigh of relief, as if in casting off a burden. It was her dainty indoor cap, with the auriculas, that was sacrificed; the thing hissed and spluttered, vanishing at last in sooty fragments up the chimney.

When Soren and Malvina came down, they found her on all fours in the parlour, hard at work packing up carpets and curtains, knick-knacks and chandeliers. They stood watching her for a while, but Cilia sharply ordered them to help--and willingly they did! Not a word was exchanged between the three; they simply went on packing and packing, closing up the cases and packing more, till they were ready to be carried out into the yard.

In the course of the morning Abrahamsen turned up, and lent a hand with the packing-cases. It was almost as if it were a question of getting some evil influence out of the house as quickly as possible.

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