hung up the phone and immediately felt the pressure release from my shoulders. Staging a coup?
d.a.m.n straight we were, only I was pretty sure the monarchy that was about to fall wasn"t going to take kindly to what was about to happen.
CHAPTER FORTY.
What is the opposite of two? A lonely me, a lonely you. a Richard Wilbur Mo "WHO WAS THAT?" I yawned stretching my arms above my head. The last thing I wanted to do was move or try to start putting on my clothes again. That meant we were done.
It meant the end of us.
And I wasn"t ready for that, not now, not ever. I just didn"t know how to convince him to stay, when I knew logically, it was smarter for him to go.
Tex"s gaze darkened as he slowly exhaled and looked at me. "A friend."
"Oh." I looked down at my bare chest and pulled the blanket over me.
"Mo." Tex"s swollen lips and tousled hair made me yearn to touch him again, to ask for another five minutes of his kisses of his touch. "I need to go soon."
I hesitated. In a moment I probably should have sobbed my eyes out and thrown my arms around his neck, I hesitated. Because Tex wasn"t a typical guy, when I cried it broke his heart, but it was almost like it made him more resolute to do the right thing, like his only job on this planet was to protect each tear as it fell, even if it meant his blood covered those tears in the process.
With a sigh, he reached for his shirt, his back muscles flexing in the shimmering moonlight as he pulled the shirt over his head and slid on his shorts.
A shiver coursed through me.
"You should go back to school."
Tex exhaled and rubbed his hands together. "I think it would be... good."
"School?" I repeated. "We"re about to say goodbye and your parting words are that I should go to school?
Seriously?"
Chuckling, Tex pulled me in for a hug. "We do have ten minutes left."
"I wouldn"t know." My eyes narrowed. "I don"t wear a watch."
"Irresponsible." He hissed kissing down the right side of my neck. "How will you ever be early if you don"t know the time?"
"I"ve always had you," I said arching my eyebrows and tilting my face towards his.
Our lips met.
"True." Tex breathed me in, nuzzling his nose in my hair. "Eight minutes, Mo."
"Eight minutes where I"d rather time didn"t exist." I whispered watching pain roll across his face in a wave.
"Kiss me again."
With a soft exhale, he brushed his lips across mine, little feathery strokes that tempted me with promise of something more. He used his tongue to trace the outline of my lips before sliding inside, past my teeth, tasting every inch of me, giving me every inch of himself. Living in the moment, both of us knowing that it would soon be over.
"Seven." I whispered against his mouth.
"Go to school," he urged for a second time. "Make mistakes, Mo. Get in trouble, let Nixon find you sneaking wine into your backpack. Get sent to the Dean"s office, make mistakes," he said again then licked his lips. "Let someone pick up the pieces of your broken heart, let someone fix what I destroyed."
"What if I want to drop out and hermit myself in my room?" I refused to look at him.
"That"s not living, Mo." Tex cupped my face. "I have five minutes left with you, do you want me to use it to kiss you or lecture you on why I"m right?"
I grinned as a tear slid down my cheek. "Both."
His smile matched mine. "I forget how much you like being scolded."
"Only if the one scolding has a firm hand."
"Every last inch of me is firm and you know it." Tex tugged me into his lap.
"School will distract you, it will give you a better future then guns and war, it will take your focus from tragedy to the future. Please, for me, Mo, please try to do normal."
"Normal." I shook my head. "Not sure I know what that word is."
"Normal," Tex repeated. "Making love to someone under a tree not because you have to say goodbye, but because it"s the best way you can think to say h.e.l.lo."
My lower lip quivered.
"Normal." His voice was hoa.r.s.e.
"Marrying the love of your life not because her brother shoots you at point blank range-but because not marrying her would be a fate worse than death."
He was silent then added, "Three minutes."
I clenched his shirt with my hands and fought the urge to sob against his chest.
"Normal." Tex"s voice was barely audible. "Going from country to country, traveling all over the world, not because you have a hit on you, but because you want to see the girl you love smile in every country G.o.d ever created."
I knew the time was ticking by, it seemed the less time we had the faster it went, I guess that"s life.
I was looking at two more minutes, maybe less, with my lover, my friend, and all I could do was clench his shirt in my hands and twist, somehow willing him to stay on the ground rather than get up and walk towards certain death.
"Normal." Tex moved to his feet, helping me up. "Giving the woman you love two hours of your time, because you can"t imagine spending your minutes, those precious seconds, any other way."
Tex kissed my mouth hard, nearly bruising my lips before stepping back and kissing my nose.
"Time"s up," he said gruffly.
"We"re no longer friends." I said it as a statement, not even a question.
"For two hours I was your lover, your friend, your everything." Tex looked away. "For the rest of eternity- I"m now your enemy."
"I hate life."
"Don"t." Tex grimaced. "It will be easier to just hate me instead."
"But-"
"We"re done here, Mo. Go back inside."
"Tex-"
"I said." His jaw popped. "We"re done, now go back inside and go to sleep."
I kept the blanket wrapped around me and grabbed my clothes, a sense of loss washed over me as my feet padded against the cold gra.s.s. Each step I took was like trying to run through cement.
My heart was beating, but all I felt was pain. A sob escaped my mouth as my feet touched the back deck, I turned around one last time to see his face.
To get my goodbye.
But he was already gone.
As if the Tex I knew had never existed in the first place.
I hung my head and cried. I cried for the boy I knew, the boy that turned into a man. A man who was forced to make a choice, his past or his future. I cried because I knew the Tex I"d loved, the one who"d held me so tenderly in his arms, was never going to come back.
He would have to go all in.
Tex no longer existed.
No, now he was Vito Campisi Jr., and the world was about to feel his rage, I only hoped my family wouldn"t be shredded in the process.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE.
It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience-Julius Caesar Tex I LEFT THE OLD ME with Mo for safekeeping.
It was the only way I knew I could get in the car and meet Phoenix. So as I took those few steps towards the front of the house, I allowed myself to grieve the man I had been- And mourn the man I was becoming.
I thought of Mo"s smile of how that one tiny thing changed my world from dark to light.
I imagined her lips, her moans, her body, how welcoming she"d always been to me.
And lastly, I thought of her pure heart, her soul, how she was willing to fight demons on my behalf, knowing full well she was defending the very monster she feared.
She was strength.
She was everything.
When I reached the front of the house I turned around and gave it one last glance. I was leaving as Tex, and I"d be returning a Campisi. Whatever Phoenix had to say wasn"t going to end well in my favor, but if I could protect her, save her, I"d do anything.
Anything.
"Goodbye, Mo," I whispered into the air and took a deep breath before grabbing the keys to one of the Ducatis and hopping on.
The reign of Alfonso was going to end-and it was going to end by my hand. Alive or dead. Retribution was coming.
With a smirk I took off towards the bar.
By the time I reached my normal watering hole, I was numb, not a good numb either but the type of numb you feel when you know you"re about to do something that"s irreversible.
The point of no return was officially my theme song.
Each step towards Phoenix meant a step away from Mo.
And I hated that I had the strength and courage to go forward, wished in that second that I was a bit of a coward, willing to steal her away and live in peace on some G.o.dforsaken island. h.e.l.l, I"d catch fish for the rest of my life with that woman.
But that"s the thing parents don"t tell kids, teachers candy coat everything, no adult in my life ever prepared me for reality. n.o.body ever said that the life you see on TV is rare-bloodshed?
That"s the norm. The picket fence?
That"s what you get if you"re lucky.
I wasn"t lucky.
Never had been, never would be.
The scent of cigarettes. .h.i.t my nose as I pulled open the door to the establishment. My boots clicked against the floor as I made my way to the bar. It was near empty except for Phoenix.
"Water?" I pointed at his gla.s.s.
"Please tell me that"s vodka."
Phoenix shrugged.
"Sorry to disappoint."