Chase met Nixon"s stare, they both turned to look at Phoenix who had gone completely still.
"What the h.e.l.l am I missing?" I asked calmly.
Nixon sighed and then turned around. "Nothing worth discussing. The Commission is tomorrow, I suggest everyone get some sleep."
Too confused and tired to even prod further I threw my hands in the air and walked down the hall to my guest room. The minute the door closed I pulled out my cell and texted Luca: Me: Tomorrow"s the day we find out what Tex is made of... Phoenix too.
Luca: Trust the plan.
Me: That"s the problem, I don"t trust anyone.
Luca: Maybe, it"s time, you start.
Have a good night"s sleep, things will work out, they always do.
Scowling, I typed back: Absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
Luca: Absolute power corrupts, absolutely, only when we allow it.
There is always a choice, Sergio. Never forget that.
Too frustrated to respond I threw my phone against the bed and sunk low into the mattress, my head in my hands. I went through every strategy, every outcome, every plan I"d help Phoenix, Luca, and Frank formulate since the beginning. I"d done the best I could. I"d come out of hiding in order to make sure that the Family was secure, the only issue was, I felt like I had lost my humanity in the process.
I guess that was what happened when you"re a death dealer.
With a grunt I lie back down on the pillow and tried to concentrate on a simpler time, when we were all kids, when war games were something we heard the adults discuss in hushed tones.
When battles between families meant nothing to us, when power and greed were abominable.
That time was long gone.
And now, I was tired.
Nothing. I had nothing left.
I tugged out the piece of paper in my pocket and stared at it. My last will and testament. I sealed the paper in the envelope waiting for me on my desk.
The most pathetic part was, I had no family to address it to. My own father didn"t want me living, most my uncles were in prison, and I was stuck between wanting to keep the law, and having to break it. I had no name to put on that blank envelope, and it killed me inside that that was most likely my future.
Lonely and blank. Never to be remembered. Some legacy.
CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR.
Risk... is always worth it. Or is it?
Tex I HAD TO HAND it to Mo, she"d done a h.e.l.l of a job. I only hoped it was enough for the guys. I was stuck between needing them to react tomorrow and also needing them to keep me alive.
It was a tug of war of sorts, treat them like absolute s.h.i.t but drop the hint that there was a reason behind it.
A very solid, life altering reason.
Phoenix had said to make it real and I knew now, I knew why. I needed every reaction from them to be real, I was already risking too much with Mo knowing, but I hadn"t been able to do it.
Lie to her face again and again and again. It didn"t help that I was absolute c.r.a.p at hiding my feelings from her, each time she kissed me I reacted like she"d just set my body on fire. So it was impossible.
Funny, it had been her idea to drop the volpe hint. d.a.m.n, that woman was brilliant. My stomach clenched... now if only there was a way out of that contract with Nicolasi. Mo knew I couldn"t back out, just like she knew I was going to have to hurt her in order to prove to the men I meant business.
A knock sounded at the window. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my gun.
Mo was grinning from the other side of the gla.s.s.
When I rolled my eyes, she held up a stuffed fox and pouted, her lower lip sticking out.
My smile grew and grew and grew, finally I opened the window and leaned out. "What up, Romeo you trying to romance me?"
"Yeah but you didn"t have a balcony."
"So you brought a fox?" I nodded towards the stuffed animal. "A stuffed fox that"s missing an eye?"
"Tragic washing machine accident."
"Ah." I took the animal. "I see."
"Can I come in?" Mo shivered and pulled her leather jacket closer to her body.
I stepped back and licked my lips.
"They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer, so yeah, hop on in."
I backed away more so she could pull herself up and into my room. She landed with a thud, turned and closed the window, followed by the blinds.
"Planning on killing me or something?" I pointed to the blinds and tossed the fox onto the bed. My bones ached, my heart ached. Every d.a.m.n thing ached when I thought about it. There was no way I was going to get any sleep.
"Tex?" Mo whispered, her fingers grasped mine lightly. I led her to the bed and sat, patting the spot next to me.
"Yeah?"
"I have an idea."
I glanced sideways and frowned.
"Okay."
"Shoot me."
My face froze in shock. "You want me to... shoot you?"
"Yeah." She nodded, her eyebrows pinching together like she was thinking too hard. "You have to make an example, right?"
I wasn"t comfortable with where this was going. "Mo, I can make an example without shooting you."
"Well you don"t have to kill me!"
Her words rushed out. "Just hurt me a little, I mean you were planning on slapping me, which is fine and all."
I groaned, officially the worst conversation in the world.
"But-" She licked her lips. "-I just think, it would make a bigger impact if you shot me, make it a shoulder shot, or even in the leg, I mean it didn"t hurt that bad, and it"s not like I died, right?"
My eyes closed tightly until they burned. "Mo, you"re asking me to shoot you."
"I"m your enemy."
"Until the end," I whispered.
"Right." She gripped my hand.
"Just... think about it, but don"t tell me if you"re going to do it, just do it... I don"t want to know it"s coming. My reaction has to be real, but Tex, you can"t take on five heads, you can"t take on that many men and survive, I think you should tell Nixon and Chase."
"Can"t," I said hoa.r.s.ely. "If anything gets back to them... it"s their heads that roll. I can"t handle that, Mo.
It"s bad enough that Phoenix, Luca, Frank, and even Sergio will be in trouble if it gets out. The plan was to keep The Abandonato family clean. The one family powerful enough to keep everything together if things get... bad."
Mo swallowed. "You should shoot Nixon too."
I groaned. "Are you insane?"
"Think about it!" She hit me in the shoulder. "You can huff and puff all you want, but in the end, if you don"t harm the powerful ones closest to you-all you are is a murderer. A boss who cleansed out the bad, but n.o.body will fear you. They may take you seriously but you have to actually hurt people."
"That was the original plan." I exhaled. "But I told Phoenix I couldn"t do it."
"I never thought I"d utter these words." Mo sighed heavily. "But Phoenix is right."
"d.a.m.n him." I fell back against the bed and sighed. Mo followed, resting her hand on my chest.
We laid there in silence for a few minutes before she moved closer and kissed my neck. "Try to live."
Her voice was shaky with emotion.
I tried to ignore the pang in my heart but it was impossible.
"Mo." I swallowed a few times, my throat clogging with tears, "If I had a choice-"
"I know-"
"No!" I pulled away abruptly. "You don"t."
"Tex, it"s okay you don"t have to do this." Her eyes blinked rapidly like she was holding back tears. "We already said goodbye, remember?"
"If I didn"t have a sister." I whispered.
Mo leaned her head against mine.
"If you weren"t son to a dead Cappo di Cappo."
"If his legacy wasn"t still alive."
My voice trailed.
"If you didn"t need the help of the Nicolasi family."
I cursed then crushed my mouth against hers. She moaned as I flipped her on her back and deepened the kiss.
"Mo." I pulled back and gripped her hand placing it on my chest. "Know this... my heart will always beat for you and you alone, my friend, my lover, my enemy, my soul."
Tears dripped down her face as she nodded and tugged my head to hers, her mouth meeting mine in a frenzy. "I"m proud of you."
"Don"t be."
"Can"t help it." She sighed, her lips lingering across mine, brushing feather light kisses across my skin.
We kissed for a while, not talking, memorizing, saying goodbye for the second time in two weeks. I glanced up at the clock and it was nearing midnight.
"Mo-"
"You don"t have to say it." She moved from underneath me and stood to her feet. "Keep the fox."
I chuckled. "A one eyed fox for good luck? What could go wrong?"
"Don"t be an a.s.s," Mo taunted. "He protected me from monsters, maybe he"ll protect you from yours."
"Mo."
I.
shook my head.
"Tomorrow I become that monster."
"No." She licked her lips and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "Tomorrow, you become our savior."