ROGER. "He"s making game of you, mater."
MRS. TORRANCE, unruffled, "Is he, my own?--very likely. Now about the question of provisions--"
ROGER. "Oh, lummy, you talk as if I was going off to-night! I mayn"t go for months and months."
MRS. TORRANCE. "I know--and, of course, there is a chance that you may not be needed at all."
ROGER, poor boy, "None of that, mater."
MRS. TORRANCE. "There is something I want to ask you, John--How long do you think the war is likely to last?" Her John resumes his paper.
"Rogie, I know you will laugh at me, but there are some things that I could not help getting for you."
ROGER. "You know, you have knitted enough things already to fit up my whole platoon."
MRS. TORRANCE, proud almost to tears, "His platoon."
EMMA. "Have you noticed how fine all the words in -oon are? Platoon!
Dragoon!"
MR. TORRANCE. "Spitoon!"
EMMA. "Colonel is good, but rather papaish; Major is nosey; Admiral of the Fleet is scrumptious, but Marechal de France--that is the best of all."
MRS. TORRANCE. "I think there is nothing so nice as 2nd Lieutenant."
Gulping, "Lot of little boys."
ROGER. "Mater!"
MRS. TORRANCE. "I mean, just think of their cold feet." She produces many parcels and displays their strange contents. "Those are for putting inside your socks. Those are for outside your socks. I am told that it is also advisable to have straw in your boots."
MR. TORRANCE. "Have you got him some straw?"
MRS. TORRANCE. "I thought, John, he could get it there. But if you think--"
ROGER. "He"s making fun of you again, mater."
MRS. TORRANCE. "I shouldn"t wonder. Here are some overalls. One is leather and one fur, and this one is waterproof. The worst of it is that they are from different shops, and each says that the others keep the damp in, or draw the feet. They have such odd names, too. There are new names for everything nowadays. Vests are called cuira.s.ses. Are you laughing at me, Rogie?"
MR. TORRANCE, sharply, "If he is laughing, he ought to be ashamed of himself."
ROGER, barking, "Who was laughing?"
MRS. TORRANCE. "John!"
Emma cuffs her father playfully.
MR. TORRANCE. "All very well, Emma, but it"s past your bedtime."
EMMA, indignantly, "You can"t expect me to sleep on a night like this."
MR. TORRANCE. "You can try."
MRS. TORRANCE. "2nd Lieutenant! 2nd Lieutenant!"
MR. TORRANCE, alarmed, "Ellen, don"t break down. You promised."
MRS. TORRANCE. "I am not going to break down; but--but there is a photograph of Rogie when he was very small--"
MR. TORRANCE. "Go to bed!"
MRS. TORRANCE. "I happen--to have it in my pocket--"
ROGER. "Don"t bring it out, mater."
MRS. TORRANCE. "If I break down, John, it won"t be owing to the picture itself so much as because of what is written on the back."
She produces it dolefully.
MR. TORRANCE. "Then don"t look at the back."
He takes it from her.
MRS. TORRANCE, not very hopeful of herself, "But I know what is written on the back, "Roger John Torrance, aged two years four months, and thirty-three pounds.""
MR. TORRANCE. "Correct." She weeps softly. "There, there, woman." He signs imploringly to Emma.
EMMA, kissing him, "I"m going to by-by. "Night, mammy. "Night, Rog." She is about to offer him her cheek, then salutes instead, and rushes off, with Roger in pursuit.
MRS. TORRANCE. "I shall leave you together, John."
MR. TORRANCE, half liking it, but nervous, "Do you think it"s wise?"
With a groan, "You know what I am."
MRS. TORRANCE. "Do be nice to him, dear." Roger"s return finds her very artful indeed, "I wonder where I put my gla.s.ses?"
ROGER. "I"ll look for them."
MRS. TORRANCE. "No, I remember now. They are upstairs in such a funny place that I must go myself. Do you remember, Rogie, that I hoped they would reject you on account of your eyes?"
ROGER. "I suppose you couldn"t help it."
MRS. TORRANCE, beaming on her husband, "Did you believe I really meant it, John?"
MR. TORRANCE, curious, "Did _you_, Roger?"
ROGER. "Of course. Didn"t you, father?"
MR. TORRANCE. "No! I knew the old lady better."