Chapter 14.
"Okay, so Ive got your things in the wash and Ive collected a couple things from Moms closet." Trevor held out a pair of black fleece-lined pants and a soft hoody.
Poppy pulled the plush terrycloth robe closer to her body.
"Is it weird for you to put on my Moms clothes?"
Poppy looked at the red hoody and plush sweatpants.
"It might be a little weird, but those look so comfortable." She pulled the clothes from Trevors hand. She pulled on both soft and luxurious pieces quickly. The hoody was roomy and didnt make it obvious that she didnt have on a bra. "Thank you. Aside from the shower, I think this is the warmest Ive been all day."
"We need the rain. Always do in Los Angeles." Trevor pulled out a pair of soft grey sweatpants and a Stanford sweatshirt. "But yes, its pretty cold for L.A. Thought wed eat a little something and then I can take you home, or you can hang out here, or"- He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him -"we could go to Malibu."
Poppy wished she could do all of those things. "Or, after we eat, I could go back to Mimis and change. Brian gets in tonight. Ill go back to the hospital when he gets here."
Trevor pressed his lips to the top of Poppys head. "You know Im here, if you want to talk. I can listen and I wont judge."
"This is obscenely tough, okay? I mean, shes my mother, but shes not really my mother. And Mimi and Brian have completely different memories of their childhoods because they were so much older when Therese left." Poppy sat on Trevors bed and ran her fingers through her damp hair. "Mimi thinks I need all this closure, but I dont know. I dont feel it right now. But she says things will change if I ever ..." Her eyes drifted toward Trevor. "If I ever have children."
Her heart leapt in her chest as she said it. Shed never thought that shed have children, but then again, shed never thought that shed ever let a man into her life, at least not for longer than six months.
"This,"-Trevor waved his hand at the s.p.a.ce between them-"makes me think about a lot of things I didnt think that I wanted."
Poppy tilted her head. "Im listening."
"I didnt think I wanted to run Up Side Burger. I thought I had to be a writer, but now, I mean this thing between you and me ... Ill always write, but theres something very appealing in the idea of building something for a family." Trevors gaze met Poppys. "Im just going to say it, Poppy. Running Up Side Burger is appealing because of building something for our family. A family that you and I would create."
Poppys heart beat faster. Her stomach clenched with that familiar clamping feeling, the same feeling that came right before she wanted to run.
"Oh, no, no, no, no. I know that look. Ive struck terror in your heart and now you want to high-tail it to the nearest international terminal."
"Am I that transparent?" Poppy shifted away from him. She pulled at the string that hung from the hoody.
"Only to the man who loves you." Trevor put his arms around her. "I wont hurt you, not intentionally, and I wont leave you, not ever. If you love me, Poppy, which Im pretty convinced that you do, then you can trust that Im going to continue loving you."
A deep breath filled her lungs. "Trust, you say? Not so good at that."
"Right. Well, Im willing to earn it. Now heres the thing. I like this talking much better than the running." Trevor wove his fingers through Poppys. "You think we could try this out? You talk to me before you bail, even if its just to say "I need a little s.p.a.ce? Otherwise, you trigger all my abandonment issues from losing my dad."
Poppy swiveled in his arms and her eyes looked into his. "Oh my gosh, Im sorry ... I didnt even think about that."
"Neither did I, until Robert and I were sparring today. I wondered why I was so completely p.i.s.sed at your disappearing act. I mean, I know who you are, I understand how you feel, and I kind of suspected that at some point within the next twenty-four hours Id hear from you again, but I was just angry. And then it hit me. My dad. He was never around. He was always working, and then after this great vacation where he was finally around and we connected, he died. So of course, Ive got this fear that the other shoe is about to drop, especially after something good happens. And Malibu was good. It was a good start. And then with today, and you leaving ..." Trevor leaned back against the pillows on his childhood bed. "Poppy, youre not the only person with issues. I think we pretty much all have them."
"Okay. I can do this. If I want to bolt or am going to bolt, Ill say something first. I can do that."
Trevors mouth hooked upward into a smile. "Thanks." He leaned forward. His forehead gently touched Poppys. Her body tightened. The scent of him fresh and soapy, his clear piercing eyes, he was just ... he was enticing and s.e.xy and he was quickly becoming her home.
Her stomach grumbled.
"Whoa." Trevor smiled and stood. "Lets get you fed."
The kitchen table was set for three. Mom had come home. She walked in from the laundry room with Poppys clothes in a neat pile. "I saw the shoes by the front door and the purse, and thought ..." Her words drifted off and she smiled. "Well, I thought perhaps you were entertaining. I didnt want to interrupt, so-"Her gaze flashed past Trevor. "h.e.l.lo." A giant smile lit her face. "Im Adele, Trevors mom."
For a moment Poppy looked like a deer caught in the crosshairs, but she quickly recovered. The effervescent smile and the charm hed watched her use on guests at Mesquale flooded over her face.
"Poppy." She held out her hand. "Im so sorry about the clothes." She flushed a shade of pink only a bit lighter than the hoody she wore. Trevor kept a smile from his face. She was adorable when fl.u.s.tered. "I got caught in the rain and I didnt have-"
"No explanation necessary." Adele waved toward the stack of clean clothes she had set on the kitchen island. "Theyre clean and dry. After dinner you can change if you like, or youre welcome to wear those things home." Adele leaned closer to Poppy. "Those sweatpants are so soft. I have four pair because they are so d.a.m.n comfy."
Poppy smiled.
"Wine? I was just opening a bottle when Trevor walked in."
"Please, yes." Poppys face telegraphed that she was trying to be nonchalant. Was she worried about meeting his mother? About making a good impression?
Trevor moved away from her side and took the bottle, a wine key already sticking out of the cork. Mom settled in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Poppy sat beside her.
"You worked at Mesquale? You and Trevor met there?"
Poppy nodded. Again with a tiny blush. Trevor pulled the cork out of the bottle.
"And you have a sister here in Los Angeles?"
"Yes." Poppy looked up at Trevor as he walked to the edge of the table with the bottle and three wine gla.s.ses. "And my brother is coming in tonight ... hes ..." Her words drifted away.
"Poppys mother, Therese, is at UCLA." Trevor poured a gla.s.s for his mother and then one for Poppy. "She isnt doing well." He handed the wine to Poppy and looked into her eyes. "Her brother is coming in to see her."
"Oh my goodness." Adele pressed her hand to her chest. "Im sorry. I had no idea. Please, if you or your family need anything." She covered Poppys hand with her own.
Trevors heart warmed. His mother really was a lovely woman, even if she was trying a little too hard. Mom wanted what she wanted, and she, Trevor knew, would do whatever was necessary to get it. Hed never brought a woman home, nor had he ever spoken of women with his mother, simply because there hadnt been one who spoke to his heart like Poppy did. There had been women ... lovers ... but not the love of his heart, not before Poppy Martin. Trevor sipped his wine. Mom must feel it, she had to know. He settled his hand on the back of Poppys chair. Adele stood, went to the stove, and pulled two dishes from the oven.
"Do you like chicken, Poppy? I know Trevor wont eat meat any longer, but do you?"
Poppy smiled. "I do. Im a big carnivore."
"Ah." Adele picked up Poppys plate and scooped a large portion of chicken piccata onto it. "A woman after my heart. Youve had our burgers then? You like them?"
"Like them?" Poppy took the plate from Adele. "More like love them. Always my first stop within twenty-four hours of arriving in Los Angeles."
"We hear that a lot." Adele glanced at Trevor. "How long for you now? Since youve had one?"
"Lets see-about eight years."
"How do you stand it?" Poppy placed her napkin in her lap. Adele scooped a helping of vegetarian piccata onto Trevors plate and set it in front of him, before serving herself last.
"I guess I had enough Up Side Burgers when I was a kid." He picked up his fork.
"Trevor did eat his fair share, especially all the way through adolescence. I think when you worked at the Westwood location they werent quite breaking even."
"So you worked at the stores when you were younger?" Poppy asked.
"Ive had every job in an Up Side Burger but manager, and by "every job I mean including washing dishes, mopping floors, and scrubbing toilets."
Adele smiled and took a bite of her salad. "Trevors father and grandfather were big believers that every member of the family should know every job in the store. Its important to understand what our employees have to do in order to do their jobs well."
"Smart men." Poppy grinned.
Adele returned her smile. "They were. I still miss them, even now. What about you, Poppy? I know youre American, but Trevor said you grew up in Australia. I dont hear much of an accent, though."
"Maybe because both my parents were American? We moved to Australia when I was three because of Dads business, and then Therese came back to Los Angeles when I was five."
"I see." Adeles gaze flashed to Trevor and then back to Poppy. "So where is home?"
Poppy shrugged. Her eyes swept over Trevor, and then she looked at Adele. "Im not sure anymore." Poppy smiled, but there was a seriousness in her eyes. "For the last ten years home has been Mesquale for six months of the year, and then anywhere I wanted to travel for the other six. I kind of thought that would be my life."
"And now?" Adele asked.
Poppys eyes locked with Trevors. "And now I dont think Im ..." Trevor reached his hand across the table and his fingers intertwined with Poppys. "I mean, I dont think were so sure right now."
Adeles smile spread over her face. "This makes me happy. So very happy. Poppy, were celebrating Trevors birthday next month. Youll come to the party, wont you? It will be small. Really just family and close friends."
Trevor snorted. "Yeah, when mom says "small she means like four hundred people."
"Stop, Trevor, not true. I promise you the guest list is no more than two hundred and fifty."
"See?"
Adele ignored him and continued. "We wont be able to truly celebrate without you. I can see what an important part of Trevors life youve become. Please, if you can join us." She speared a tomato in her salad. "Im hoping that Trevor will have lots of good news to share that evening."
Poppys gaze landed on Trevor. His normally contented expression was awash in not exactly panic, but consternation. He hadnt made up his mind about Up Side Burger. He still didnt know what he wanted to do, and he didnt have much time to decide.
"Thank you, Mrs. Brice, Ill try." Poppy wiped her napkin over her mouth and looked at Trevor. "Im sorry, really, I can take an Uber, but I should get going. Brian should nearly be to the hospital by now."
"Ill take you." Trevor jumped up.
"No-" Poppy caught herself. She was stopping him ... why? To protect herself? To keep him at a distance? As though either of those were even a remote possibility any longer. Hed found his way deep into her heart. She would let Trevor in, she would accept his support, she would let him show his love. "Actually, that would be nice," she corrected herself. "Thank you."
"Youre welcome." He bent down and placed a kiss on top of her head. "Just let me get my keys." He slipped away from her.
Adele put Poppys clean clothes in a plastic bag. She brought them to Poppy, saying, "I remember when Trevors father was in the hospital. Please know that I mean it when I say if you need anything, anything at all, please let me know."
Poppy nodded. A thickness grew in her throat. What she needed was to try to understand the complex feelings that wove through her. When it came to Therese, Poppy went from fear to anger to hurt to disdain to not caring a whit. Shed even had moments of just wanting the whole d.a.m.n thing to be over. How selfish was that? What kind of horrible person was she to wish her own mother dead? But it wasnt the first time. Shed had similar thoughts when she was a teenage girl, alone in Sydney with a father who worked all day and drank away most nights with his mates. Sure Mimi and Brian had stayed as long as they could, but theyd both had lives to lead, and Poppy was seven years younger than Mimi and five years younger than Brian. As an adolescent shed felt so alone, so awkward, so unloved.
Tears formed in her eyes. Now, according to everyone around her, shed be best served if she could find a way to forgive Therese. Well, she d.a.m.ned sure wasnt certain that she could forgive Therese, or that Therese even deserved her forgiveness.
"Ok, ready." Trevor stood before her in jeans and a sweater. The scruff on his face made him look rugged and s.e.xy. The warm hopeful look on Trevors face, full of understanding and compa.s.sion, made her feel better, safer, more grounded. How was that happening? How had the very man shed sworn not to give her heart to now become the guy who firmly kept it safe for her?
"Be careful, the roads will be slick," Adele cautioned.
Trevor shot his mother a patient smile. He leaned his head down and accepted her kiss on his cheek.
"Poppy, so nice to meet you." Adele pulled her into a hug. Poppys family werent really huggers. Affection hadnt ever been their thing, so for a moment, Poppy stiffened in Adeles arms, but Adele just clasped her a bit tighter. The tension eased out of Poppys body. The hug from Trevors mom actually felt good. Adele pulled back and met Poppys eye. "And please, do call me Adele."
"I will, and thank you." Poppy smiled at her, completely understanding where Trevor had gotten his warmth and his smile.
Chapter 15.
Poppy entered Thereses hospital room for the second time that day. A man who looked eerily similar to Poppys Dad stood beside Thereses bed.
"Brian?" Poppy whispered. He turned. She hadnt seen her older brother in nearly eighteen months, and hed changed in that time. His hairline was pushed farther back and his trim physique was giving way to too many good meals and too much time at a desk. Dark rings smudged the skin under Brians eyes.
"Poppy." He said her name as though it were a breath of fresh air. Brian reached out and wrapped her into a hug. Mimi stood just behind him with Daniel, her husband, at her side. Brian looked past her, his brow wrinkling ... of course.
"This is Trevor. Hes my ..." What was he? "Hes my boyfriend," Poppy blurted out. She hadnt used that word since she was a schoolgirl in Sydney, and it didnt fit what Trevor meant to her. She watched Trevor offer his kind words to Brian, and Mimi, and Daniel. He was more than just a boyfriend. She was actually considering staying with him, a thought that had been unfathomable to her when she left his bed at Mesquale. How foolish, even then ... of course she loved him ... yes, she absolutely did love him. Shed most likely loved him since the day they met.
A single small light in the corner softly lit the room. Drops of medicine still dripped through a tube slowly into Thereses hand. A machine by her bedside beeped with each pump of Thereses heart, echoing her fading life.
"The doctor was by. She, well-" Brian glanced at Mimi, who pressed her fingertips to the inner corners of her eyes. Brian looked back at Poppy. "Weve reached a decision. We took her off the ventilator." He turned his eyes toward Therese. "Its time to let her go."
The lump in the back of Poppys throat thickened. Let her go. Hadnt Poppy been trying to do just that when it came to Therese since shed been five years old? Now the choice had been taken from her. It would be the giant tumor and the failure of Thereses body that took her away and forced Poppy to let her go. Poppy reached out and grasped Brians hand and then moved toward her sister and took her hand as well.
Mimi face was awash in tears. Always so strong for everyone else, who was ever strong for Mimi? "Im sorry, Mimi. Im so sorry," Poppy murmured.
Mimi choked on her sobs. A nurse entered the room and checked the machine and the drugs. She looked at them, her eyes reflecting a soft gentleness. "Well make certain that shes comfortable."
Poppys face crumbled. What did it mean to be comfortable when careening toward death? Did it mean that Therese was in some in-between s.p.a.ce, unaware of her imminent end? Poppy tugged her hands away from her siblings and pressed her palms to her cheeks. This, all of it ... she turned ... G.o.d, she had to get out ... get away ... be anywhere but here ...
She turned to run and there was Trevor. His thick chest, his strong arms, his calm face and brilliant eyes that held warmth and love. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, into his touch. Poppys heartbeat steadied and the clutching panic in her belly gave way to a settled acceptance. She could hear his heart through his sweater. The strong life force pounding through him. Finally, she could turn and face the room, his arms still around her.
The beeping was gone. The nurse had turned down the sound on the machine. The light on the heart monitor still showed Thereses heart beating. The heart rate number grew smaller and smaller as each second pa.s.sed. Poppy stood, motionless, watching the life drift away from the woman who she hadnt called mother for most of her life. First Brian went to Thereses bed. A kiss to her forehead and a long look at her face. With tears in his eyes, he brushed past Poppy and out into the hall. Then Mimi approached, her face now stoic and stone-like. She held Thereses hand and pressed it to her own cheek.