"Right, I get it, but does it have to cost a million dollars?"
Poppy gulped her champagne. "What?"
"Right? My sentiments exactly. The way Ryan is with this wedding, its like he has no concept of money. Private jets, and flowers, and a special chef from Paris and five hundred people and-"
"Five hundred people?"
"And hes hired the London Philharmonic. Hes flying the entire string section in."
"Wow," Poppy said. "I just cant-"
"Right, neither can I. And now hes giving me all kinds of grief about buying my dress off the rack. Or his mother is. Wants me to go meet with some Karl person in Paris-"
"Would that be Karl Lagerfeld? The executive designer for Chanel?"
"Please!" Charla placed her hands under her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Do these ta-tas look like they can handle couture?"
Poppy grinned. Shed forgotten just how cheeky her former roommate could be. Charla always made her feel happier.
"But if you get a Chanel gown ..." Poppy let her words trail off and lifted an eyebrow.
"Then you do too?" Charla finished her sentence. "Is that what youre getting at? Fine. Done. If itll keep you from speeding your crazy-train off the tracks, then Paris it is." Charla grabbed her jacket and her purse. "Thank you!" She called over her shoulder as she grabbed Poppys hand and hurried out of the shop.
"What? Seriously?"
"Yes," Charla said. "The one thing Ive learned from watching Ryan at work in the last few months is how to be decisive. If you like the idea, and the other person likes the idea, then d.a.m.n, just let that idea roll. Dont hem and haw and wonder and worry. Nope. No longer ever doing that." Her driver opened the back car door and both of them slid into the car.
"Take us back to Casa Del Sol," Charla said. "Were going to sit in the spa and get our ma.s.sage on. My treat. Besides tonights a big night, right? Doesnt Trevor have to let his mom know what hes doing?"
Poppys chest tightened. "He does. I dont know. We talked about it. I think hes going to take over Up Side."
"And you?" Charla asked. "What are you going to do?"
Poppy leaned her head back against the soft leather of the seats. "Im afraid to do what I want to do."
"Arent we all?"
Poppy looked into Charlas eyes. "I love him, I really really love him."
"Girl, you are preachin to the choir on that one, because Ive told you for a very long time that you love Trevor, and Trevor loves you, and that the two of you are just abso-frickin-lutely perfect together and I still believe that. Okay?"
Poppy smiled. Charla had told her just that for months and months at Mesquale. "I know and its true. But it scares me. Terrifies me. I mean, I know I love him, but then I start thinking about being with him forever and building a life and what if something goes wrong-"
"Which it will."
Poppys jaw gaped. Charla had always been so supportive. "Why are you saying that?"
"Come on, Poppy? Youre smart. Something will go wrong. Something always goes wrong. This is life, not a friggin fairytale. What if something does go wrong? So what? I mean, youre not going to crumble. Youre too strong, and besides I wont let you. But yes, something will go wrong. Look at Ryans life before me? With Paloma? Do you think he ever thought hed be marrying a big-b.o.o.bed girl from the middle of America? No, of course not. He loved Paloma. Really loved her. And what happened was a tragedy. But hes alive and were in love, and for this to be our reality ... something bad had to happen first."
"I can hardly believe how well-adjusted you are about all that."
"Whats my choice?" Charla asked. "I seem to remember someone giving me a similar talking-to on a beach not too long ago. Telling me about love and how special it is and how much it means and how you have to reach out and grab it."
"Easy for me to say when I was talking about you."
"Exactly. But the same rules apply." Charla grasped the already-open champagne and poured each of them a gla.s.s. "When theres love, take it. Run with it. Roll yourself up like that love is a warm snuggly blanket. Leave all your fears behind."
"You make it sound so easy." Poppy couldnt imagine being able to just let go of her fears ... but then again ... what kept her from releasing them?
"Its not easy. Ive had to make peace with a ghost and a memory and a woman who was so astoundingly perfect in so many peoples eyes. Because the only way I can be with Ryan is if I make peace with my own past and his."
Poppy closed her eyes and took a long drink. Of course Charla was right.
"I know," Charla continued, "that Trevor would do anything in his power to make you feel safe and loved."
"Ive got to find a way to feel safe on the inside. To know that I can give him my heart and if it gets broken Ill still survive."
"Oh, Poppy, you already learned how to survive with a broken heart." Charla reached out and gave her hand a squeeze. "You did it when you were five."
Poppy froze. She rested the champagne gla.s.s on her thigh. "Oh my gosh, youre right."
The car slowed and the driver got out.
"Maybe thats exactly why Im afraid now?"
"Dont let what happened in your past dictate how you live your future. You cant turn your back on true love just because youre afraid."
"Good advice." Even so, Poppy wasnt certain she could take it.
"Its always easier to give advice, thats for sure."
The driver opened the back door and Charla slid out. "Come on, doll, lets get our spa on before the shindig tonight. I hear Trevors mom throws quite a birthday bash for her little boy, and aside from him, youre going to be the star of the show tonight."
There were too many people at his birthday party, but Trevor would roll with it. Hed been gone for six months and back for about five weeks, and it seemed Mom had invited every person they knew to celebrate his birthday.
Why not? At least she was having it at the house, which kept it semilow key, even with the extravagant caterer and "The Trevor," a drink created just for tonight, inspired by his love of bourbon. Hed talked her out of renting klieg lights to line the long driveway up to the house. Nope. Just a band, three open bars, and five hundred of Moms closest friends. He pulled his phone from this pocket. No new text from Charla or Poppy. She hadnt come back to the Malibu house, but instead stayed with Charla and gotten ready at Charlas hotel.
He took a long pull on his drink. He couldnt rid himself of the fear that Poppy was going to run. This unnecessary anxiety irritated him. How the h.e.l.l could he build a life with a woman if he never knew whether she would be there or not?
"When do you think theyll show up?" Ryan clapped Trevor on the shoulder.
"Theyre already fashionably late." Trevor shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Who knows?" He took another long sip of his drink, scanning the crowd. "I see Poppys sister Mimi and her husband. Im going to say h.e.l.lo." Ryan nodded and turned to greet Tristan and Prim Rhoades. Tristan was the new owner of Ryans former company, Metro Media, and Prim, whod been Ryans second-in-command, was now Tristans wife.
Trevor wove his way through the crowd to where Robert and his mother stood speaking to Mimi and Daniel. Probably already planning Thanksgiving and a joint trip to the Tahoe house during December. Adele couldnt wait to get her hands on Mimis kids. When Poppy had shown her pictures of Laura and Hazel, she had nearly fainted with the desire to spoil two little girls.
"And heres the one of when Hazel decided to paint the kitchen wall with fresh avocado," Mimi said, turned her phone toward Adele.
"Oh my gosh! How adorable." Adele pressed her hand to her heart. She glanced up at Mimi. "So Monday works then? Youll come over and swim? Here? I mean, look at the pool. And no one uses it."
"Monday?" Trevor lifted an eyebrow. "Arent you going to work on Monday?"
The corner of his mothers mouth lifted. "No darling, you are going to work on Monday. Im going to lounge by the pool with these two cherubs and their mother." She glanced at Mimi. "Unless of course sh.e.l.l leave the little ladies with me and take some time for herself?"
"What?" Mimi glanced at her husband, looking like she might cry tears of grat.i.tude. "Oh, but Adele, thats too much ... I-"
"Mimi, I have a grown son, an empty house, and a staff that has nothing to do. I would love to take the girls all day on Monday. Maybe give you two some time to go do something alone?" She nodded toward Daniel.
"Uhh ... well talk about it?" Mimi looked at her husband and he nodded enthusiastically. "Well, I guess thats a yes. Wow. Okay. Youre sure? Because you know that Hazel is only six months and-"
"Are you kidding? This is a dream come true. Im completely sure. Best thing to happen since Trevor came home!" Adele wrapped her arm through Mimis and they walked toward the bar arm in arm, discussing Laura and Hazels favorite things and everything they would do the day after tomorrow.
Robert leaned over to Trevor. "Your mom is in heaven with the idea of these two little girls." Robert turned to Mimis husband. "Look out, Daniel, she may try to keep your little girls for a week."
"Mimi works so hard. Im gone for months at a time; she never gets a break. It was great with Poppy here, right before Therese pa.s.sed. Poppy gave Mimi time to sleep and go to the hospital. I dont know what we would have done without her help. Were going to miss her when she leaves." Daniel sipped his drink.
Leaves? Robert glanced at Trevor as though to ask, Is Poppy leaving? Trevor didnt know. He didnt think that Poppy was planning on leaving, but to be honest, he couldnt tell anyone for certain what Poppys plans were, and that irritated the h.e.l.l out of him.
"My wife is waving for me," Daniel said. "See you guys a little later." Daniel headed toward the pool, where Mimi and Adele stood discussing Monday.
Robert looked at Trevor. "Youre ready then? To take over?"
Trevor nodded. "I am."
"And what if she leaves?"
Trevor inhaled. "She wont."
Robert nodded. "Okay."
Trevor wished he truly believed what hed just said, because he could tell by the look in Roberts eyes that he didnt fully believe it either. He didnt trust Poppy, and he couldnt build a future on someone he didnt believe or trust, could he? She needed to commit. He needed more than just a day-to-day relationship. d.a.m.n. Hed really thought he would be okay with the idea that each day they made a new commitment to each other, but he wasnt. That wasnt going to work for him.
He heard laughter from across the patio and turned. Poppy. She looked stunning, of course. She stole his breath whenever he laid eyes on her. She was his heart, his love, his everything. She smiled and his heart warmed.
"Beautiful girl," Robert said. "I really like her, and so does your mom."
"Excuse me." He walked away from Robert. He was drawn to Poppy. He needed to be near her, to touch her, to smell the scent of cinnamon, sun, and sand that clung to her skin. Her hair was wild and free, a mane of dark curls. She wore a white and blue dress that skimmed her curves but left a large portion of her back bare.
His body hardened for her. His eyes devoured her.
"h.e.l.lo, beautiful." Next to her now, he placed one hand on the small of her back and pulled her close. His lips pressed to hers. The party, the people, the noise fell away. All that remained was Poppy. Forever and for always she would carry his heart in her hand. The kiss was soft and lovely, with a thread of heated desire that pulsed through his entire body. He could stand here in the center of the backyard in front of five hundred of his mothers closest friends and kiss Poppy all night.
She pulled away. Her eyes widened. Her cheeks flushed pink. A flash of surprise that caused the pit of his stomach to roll. Then the expression was gone.
"There are a lot of people here."
"Moms pretty excited about this birthday. Seems shes already got her Monday planned with your two nieces."
Poppy squinted. "What do you mean?"
"Shes having Laura and Hazel over to swim. Shes actually taking Monday off. Thats hardly ever happens. But since Im going into the office-"
"You start on Monday?"
Trevor nodded.
"As in day after tomorrow?"
He nodded again. "I have the entire executive team, and itll take me a while to get up to speed, but yeah. I start on Monday." He tilted his head. "I thought you realized ... when we talked about me taking the job."
Poppy shrugged. "Right, I guess ... I guess I just thought the transition would take longer." She dropped her gaze. "I dont know what I thought."
A chill flew through Trevors body. This was Poppy getting nervous and preparing to run. He knew all the signs by now. She glanced around the expanse of people.
Charla walked up and handed Poppy a gla.s.s of champagne. "Uh-oh, I know that face, whatd you do, Trev, ask her to get married? She looks panicked."
"Of course not, how ridiculous would that be, me asking the woman I love to commit to me for the rest of my life?" Trevors tone was a little too sharp to be taken as a joke.
"What? What does that mean?" Poppys hushed voice conveyed shock and annoyance.
Well, f.u.c.k it. He was p.i.s.sed and shocked and annoyed as well. "My mom asked the kids to come swimming and Im just taking a job, Poppy. Its not like anyone is tying you down and making you stay anywhere. Relax."
He should stop speaking now. He should seal his mouth shut. But d.a.m.n, he was tired of giving her his heart and walking around on eggsh.e.l.ls, like he wasnt supposed to feel or want or need. She could give a little bit back instead of taking all the time.
"Where is this coming from?"
"Really?" He narrowed his eyes. "Where the h.e.l.l do you think this is coming from? I dont know if youre here, really here, or if youve packed your bags and have a car picking you up tonight to fly to Asia. Biggest night of my life and I could go home and you wouldnt be there."
"Oh my G.o.d." Poppy trembled. Her hand shook.
"Poppy." His voice softened ... he suddenly felt bad for making her upset. "Please, dont be like-"
She turned and rushed across the pool deck toward the house, with Charla right behind her. He started after her when his moms voice rang out across the crowd.
"Okay people, its time to sing the big song!" The guests closed in around Trevor as Robert emerged from the house with Ryan, carrying a giant birthday cake. The crowd picked up the tune. Trevor walked toward the cake and the candles and a future that included Up Side Burger and his family. He made his wish, but Poppy was already gone.
Tears streamed down her face. Nope. Not staying. Cant stay. Wont stay. Dont want to stay. f.u.c.k him. f.u.c.k family. f.u.c.k the idea of being trapped. Poppy lugged her empty red suitcase up the stairs in Malibu and plopped it on the bed. She was done. Finished. Her heart was closed tight. She was embarra.s.sed and ashamed. How could they argue like that in front of five hundred people? And how could Trevor go and blow out his candles instead of coming after her? Poppy went to the closet and yanked two jackets from hangers. She threw them into the suitcase and then turned and sat on the bed. How could she be such a huge baby and impossible b.i.t.c.h? A deep breath filled her lungs and she wiped her hand beneath her eyes.
Because she was. She was damaged and that damage wasnt getting any better. She couldnt stay here and she couldnt make Trevor keep paying for the damage thatd been done to her long before shed ever met him. To do so wasnt fair, and not what she wanted for the man she loved.
The door downstairs burst open. "Poppy! Poppy, are you here?" Trevors footfalls pounded hard and fast on the steps up to the second floor. She could hear him muttering under his breath. The bedroom door flew open.
Fear rode his face. Fear mixed with anger and then a wash of relief when he saw her on the end of the bed. Fear again when his gaze traveled to her suitcase.
"Poppy, dont do this." He walked toward her. "Please, dont leave. You dont have to go."