She stood and held her hands out in front of her body to ward him off. "Please, dont touch me. I dont want to be touched." Tears streamed from her eyes. "I have to go. Dont you understand? I might stay for a day or a week or a month, but I cant stay forever. I cant do anything for forever. I have to go now, because this will only be harder in a month or a year."
"Why?" Trevor asked, his voice louder, his face flashing anger. "Why do you have to go? I want you here. You want to be here. You wouldnt be crying if you didnt want to be here. Why are you doing this to yourself, to me, to us, to our family? Why would you do this, Poppy?"
"Because I cant stay forever and Ill damage everyone even more if I leave later." She turned toward the closet and grabbed more clothes and threw them into her suitcase. She didnt need to pack, she just needed the things that she brought to L.A.
"Thats crazy, you know that, right? What youre doing to me and to Mimi and everyone who loves you, running away, its exactly what Therese did to you."
"Stop!" Poppy spun toward Trevor. "Im not Therese. Im not doing what she did. This is different. Im going before I have children. Before I ruin all those lives."
"Really?" Trevor moved right in front of Poppy. "What about my life? What about what were going to build together? What about the children I want to have with you, Poppy? The children Im not ever going to get to have now."
Her throat choked and she pressed her fingers under her eyes. Breath. She had to catch her breath. She had to get out of this room, out of this house, away from this man she so desperately loved.
"Youll find the right girl, Trevor. The girl who can stay and be Mrs. Brice and do all the right things. Be the way an executives wife is supposed to be."
"Dont walk out of here thinking youre being n.o.ble by running away, because youre not. Youre breaking my heart and everyone elses heart too."
Poppy closed the red suitcase and zipped her green backpack. She lifted the suitcase from the bed and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She closed her eyes. She couldnt look at Trevor. Her bottom lip trembled. She turned, opened her eyes, and walked to the stairs. Without another word, Poppy left behind everything good that she was terrified shed ruin and all the love that she was afraid to keep.
Chapter 18.
"Heres the thing. Either you turn around the numbers for the Up Side Burger in Venice, or that store is closing." Trevor pulled at his tie. Why the f.u.c.k was he wearing a tie? He was the boss, who said he had to wear a tie? No one. That was who. He looked out his office windows toward the long line of palm trees. His mother had finally vacated the office that had been his fathers before her and his grandfathers before him. Now the office was Trevors. Adele had handed over the business astoundingly fast after Trevors birthday. She was busy playing "grandmother" to Poppys two nieces. Which didnt help Trevors state of mind. He was trying to get over Poppy, not have his mother become a permanent fixture in her familys life.
"Mr. Brice." Michaels voice brought him back to the meeting. "The Venice store was your grandfathers first store, and-"
"Right." Trevor turned toward Michael and Stephanie, who sat on his office couch. "We dont keep things just because were attached to them. We keep stores open because they make money for Up Side Burger. According to the reports Ive received, the Venice store hasnt made money in nearly twelve months."
Stephanie exchanged a look with Michael.
"Thats accurate, but theres a huge street renovation taking place in front of the location."
"Tell the manager. Numbers up. Shes got three months."
"Ill let her know." Michael stood. "Anything else?" His face was grim, his lips set in a thin line.
"Not unless theres more bad news for me today." Trevor walked to the bar at the far end of his office and poured a bourbon. His cloud of irritation trailed behind him.
"No sir. Ill see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow." Trevor murmured as the door closed behind Michael. He turned back toward the window and took a long slug of his drink. In the reflection of the window he watched Stephanie rise from the couch.
"Youre still here." He glanced over his shoulder and walked toward his desk. "Havent I scared you off, too?"
"Youre like my brother. Youll have to do a h.e.l.l of a lot better than being cranky to get rid of me." She walked toward him and crossed her arms. "When are you going to stop beating up on your executive staff because you miss Poppy?"
Heat shot through Trevors chest. How dare Stephanie. He shook his head. He turned and set his gla.s.s of bourbon on his desk. "If anyone else at this company said that to me, Id fire them on the spot."
Stephanie tilted her head to the side. "And if you were anyone else, with your behavior I would have quit three months ago."
Touche. Trevor turned away from Steph. She was Roberts daughter, and shed known Trevor nearly his whole life. Recently, Mom and Robert had started to date, so he and Steph might officially end up brother and sister.
"You walked in here that first Monday three months ago a complete beast, and instead of getting better, youve actually gotten worse. What the h.e.l.l, Trevor? People are starting to put together their resumes. Do you have any idea of the type of brain drain youre about to experience?"
Trevor waved his hand. "If they want to go, then let them."
"Let them?" Stephanie leaned forward. "Youve got some of the best corporate execs in the world working for you, and do you know why? Because they love this place. They loved your mom and what this place stands for, but you, with this heartbroken bad att.i.tude, are killing the job for all of us."
Hot angry words wanted to pour from his lips, many of them, but he stopped. His entire body felt tired, numb, like a heavy weight that hed carried way too long lay across his shoulders.
"Youre right." He looked at Stephanie. "Im being a complete d.i.c.k. But shes gone, Steph. Gone." He dropped into his desk chair. "She hasnt called. She hasnt texted. I dont even know where the h.e.l.l she is."
"My dad does."
Trevors heart pounded in his chest.
"Do you want to know?" Stephanies voice was soft and kindness filled her words.
"I chased her down once. I gave her everything I had and it wasnt enough. I even stayed here to run Up Side Burger for her."
"Like h.e.l.l you did."
Trevor turned to Steph and raised an eyebrow. She stood there, arms crossed, with a stern, judgmental look on her face. He wouldnt get any feel-sorry-for-himself bull past her. Steph was tougher than Mom.
"Okay, well, I thought I agreed to stay and run Up Side Burger for her, but youre right. Running the company is what Im meant to do. I only wish that Poppy were here too."
"Man, youre one pathetic Brice." Stephanie walked toward the office bar. "Do you think your dad gave up when your mom ran away?"
Trevor spun his chair around and looked at Stephanie. "What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?"
"When they first moved back to California from New York? Your mother tried to leave your dad like three times. Said she wanted to go back and be a dancer."
"Who told you this?"
"Your mom and my dad." Steph poured herself a vodka on the rocks. "You really should come to their Sunday dinners." She took a long sip. "But I suppose youve been too busy letting your tongue run over those wounds youve got."
"Ha, f.u.c.king, ha ha." Trevor shook his head. "Im not sure having you as a stepsister is going to be as good as I thought."
"Oh yes it will. Who else would you feel comfortable leaving Up Side Burger with so you could go halfway around the world to find the love of your life?"
"Shes in Hong Kong?"
"I thought you didnt want to know."
"I dont. Really." Trevor scrubbed his hand over his jaw. "Because if I know, Ill have to go find her. d.a.m.n." Trevor stared at Stephanie. "Seriously? Three times? He had to haul Moms a.s.s back three times?"
"Well, she said three, my dad said it was two and a half, because the third time she was pregnant with you and only got to the bottom of the driveway."
"Doesnt sound like the mom I know." Trevor stood and pulled his tie from around his neck. "Okay, where is she?"
Stephanie slipped her phone from her pants pocket. "I thought youd never ask." She pressed four b.u.t.tons and Trevors phone beeped. Stephanie turned toward the door. "See you in a couple weeks."
Trevor scanned the info that shed sent. "Seriously? Thats where she is?"
"According to my dad, for the last month. First it was Hong Kong and then a brief trip to Paris and now-"
"Like home for her."
"Maybe. Seems to me she goes there to escape. Maybe you can convince her she doesnt have anything she needs to run from anymore."
"Ill know in a couple days if shes going to come back with me."
"If she says yes, you two should take some time alone together."
"And if she says no?"
"Then you need to figure out how to get yourself together before you come back here."
Trevor hated to admit it, but Steph was right. He couldnt continue his bad att.i.tude. Lashing out at the staff with his anger over his broken heart for Poppy. No, he couldnt continue being a jerk and expect his staff to remain. They worked too hard and deserved better. At this point they were staying because of their feelings of loyalty to the company and Mom, most definitely not because they wanted to work with him.
"Good luck, Trevor." A small smile played across Stephanies lips. "I hope you get the girl."
"Thanks." Trevor stood and reached for his suit jacket. "Im going to need every bit of luck I can find."
"Oh my G.o.d, Charla you look ... you look spectacular." Charla spun in front of the giant mirrors that had been brought into the suite of Charla and Ryans bungalow at Mesquale for the final fitting of Charlas Chanel wedding gown. "I love it!" Two of the three seamstresses who had traveled with the gown from Paris stood to the side, while the lead seamstress walked around Charla, examining the dress.
Poppys throat tightened and tears spilled from her eyes. Charla looked into the mirror at Poppys reflection.
"Whats wrong? Oh my G.o.d, did I spill something? Is there something on the back of the dress?" Charla twisted like a fish caught on a hook, trying to see the back of her gown.
"No! No, no, no, you just look so beautiful."
Charla pressed her hand to her breast. "Thank G.o.d! I thought for sure Id managed to rip it or get it dirty." She turned to the head seamstress. "Can I take it off before I do something to it?" Ever since Charla had commissioned the wedding gown, at every fitting shed been terrified that she would ruin the dress. "Seriously." Charla looked at Poppy. "This thing costs more than some peoples homes." The seamstress unb.u.t.toned the back of the dress.
Poppy couldnt ever tell Charla that her tears werent just because Charla looked beautiful. Poppy couldnt be that selfish, could she? There was no way shed taint this moment, and all the moments over the next three days, with her own selfish feelings and sadness. She had to get a grip on the emotions cascading through her.
Charla stepped out of her gown, revealing the complicated a.s.sortment of necessary undergarments that shed also wear under the wedding dress at the ceremony. One of the seamstresses held out a giant robe and Charla put it on.
"Thank G.o.d." She walked toward Poppy. "Give me one of those." Poppy filled a gla.s.s of champagne and handed it over as Charla sat down beside her. "Im seriously panicked every time Im within ten feet of that dress, okay? Its the most expensive thing Ive ever owned and theres a good chance that itll have half a fillet down the front of it before the wedding dinner is over."
"As long as therere no spots before the ceremony were all good." Poppy forced a smile to her face and clinked gla.s.ses with Charla. Shed hold her emotions in check. She was the maid of honor and she had duties that had to fulfill. She wouldnt fail. She pulled in a long deep breath.
Would Trevor would be at the wedding? She couldnt bring herself to ask Charla if he had RSVPd, but she a.s.sumed hed be there. How could she face him, knowing now that shed made the worst mistake of her life by leaving him a second time?
"Have you made a decision about Ryans offer?"
Her thoughts yanked back to the present. Ryan had asked Poppy if shed become Vice President of Staff Relations for the Food & Beverage division of Mesquale. She hadnt given him or Charla an answer yet. To say yes, shed have to work nearly year round and give up her nomadic lifestyle of six months on, six months off. Her supervisor would be Liam, whom Poppy adored, but her ability to fly free and take off every six months would be abruptly curtailed.
"I have to let him know once you return from your honeymoon."
"Right." Charla took a strawberry from the tray of fresh fruit. "I just wondered what you thought? The job is different than the lifestyle you want, and if you were going to settle down, I just thought-"
"I dont really want to talk about it." Poppys words were abrupt but her tone contained sadness. "If I talk about it ... I just cant." Poppy shook her head and looked out the window toward the ocean. The same ocean that three months before shed looked at while laying in Trevors arms. "I want the next three days to be about you and Ryan and your love. If I think about the job or staying in one place then ..." Her words drifted away. Hot tears formed in her eyes. "Dammit, I dont want to cry."
She plucked a tissue from a box on the end table. She dabbed her eyes. "If I start to think about all that then Ill think about Trevor." His name came from her lips in a hushed whisper.
"Im sorry. I just thought ... I mean, you dont seem happy. It feels like you miss him. Do you think you made the wrong decision by leaving?"
"I did make the wrong decision, but I dont know how to make any other choice."
"What does that even mean?" Charlas face held empathy, but a hint of irritation laced her voice. "Tell him how you feel. You love him, he loves you, why leave?"
"Because Im terrified. Im terrified if I dont leave, if I dont put an end to our relationship now, then in five years well have kids and Ill run away and not only destroy Trevors life but their lives, too."
"Therese destroyed your entire life?" Charla asked.
Poppy tilted her head to the side. "Well, no, but-"
"And Mimi is terminally unhappy?"
"No." Poppy tore at the tissue in her hand.
"And Brian? He has no will to live, really, his life is at an end?"
"No, Charla." Poppy tilted her head and c.o.c.ked an eyebrow. "You know those things arent true."
"Okay." Charla took a sip of her champagne. "So Therese leaving didnt destroy your entire life. Of course her abandoning you made you unhappy, and it caused you pain, and you have issues that you have to deal with and work through because of-"
"Whats your point?" Poppy crossed her arms over her chest.
"My point?" Charla raised one eyebrow. Her gaze went from Poppys crossed arms to Poppys hard stare. "My point is, that those issues are part of life. Not that Im unsympathetic, but Poppy, come on? You have a family that loves you, friends, a place to live, and a man who, even though you left him twice, would die for you. While it completely sucks that Therese left when you were five and that shes gone and that youll never have the kind of mother you deserved, you do have other women in your life who adore you. You have your sister, and your nieces, and your friends." Charla reached out and laid her hand on Poppys shoulder. "And you can always be the kind of mother you wanted when you have your own family."
Poppy pressed her lips together and turned away from her friend. "Youre telling me to get over it."
"No," Charla sighed. "Not really. I dont know if we can get over some things that happen to us." She shook her head. "But Im asking you, why are you letting a woman who you feel destroyed your life prevent you from living the life that you want?"
Poppys heart jolted. Her fingertips tingled. "What?"
"I mean, if youre not committing because youre afraid that youll do what Therese did, that youre afraid youll abandon the people you love, arent you letting this woman, the one you say destroyed your life, control your future?"