"Im glad you like it." Her face bloomed into a smile. "Would you write up your thoughts for Jeffrey? Hes really gotten behind the idea of a veggie burger, and he knows what he wants the burger to taste like, but at his core hes a meat eater. Hes really looking forward to hear what you thought about it."
"I think its fantastic." Trevor bit into the veggie burger again and the tang of grilled onions and the rich taste of faux cheddar cheese zinged his taste buds.
"I was surprised you decided to come home early." Adele picked at her nonUp Side Burger salad as he ate. She was as fastidious about her diet and calorie consumption as she was every other aspect of her life. She looked up and her gaze latched on to him.
"I got my shifts covered and just thought Id come home."
She wiped her napkin over her mouth and took a sip of her tea. "Should I take this as a good sign?" She asked, a hopeful smile on her lips. "That you know your birthday is around the corner and youve accepted the deadline and youre ready to take over?"
Trevor closed his eyes. He pressed his lips together. The final bite of his burger lay before him and now ... now he simply wasnt hungry anymore. He grasped a napkin and wiped his hands. "Mom ..." He shook his head. There was no good way to say any of this to her, no way that she wouldnt think his decision foolish and immature. He was about to break her heart.
"I cant run Up Side Burger."
Adele sighed. She put down her fork and her gaze settled on Trevor. "Youre giving up your entire future if you turn your back on Up Side Burger. Not only that, but youre forcing a sale of a privately held company. You understand the terms of the trust that was established by your fathers will. You know what happens if you decline to take over."
He pressed his eyelids closed. "There has to be a way. There has to be something we can do to change the terms that will allow you to stay on and run-"
"Trevor, I dont want to stay on." Adeles voice was stern, her words clear. "Ive been running the company the last nine years for you and for our familys legacy. Before your father died, I helped him because he needed the help, and to be honest, it was the only way I could see him. He was a complete workaholic, like his father before him. When he pa.s.sed, I knew the only choice for me was to run Up Side until you took over." Adele set her fork beside her plate.
"I thought youd take over the company sooner. Id hoped it would be when you finished your MBA, but I understood when you said you needed time." She took a drink of her water. "Now your birthday is a month away, youre back, and its time for you to run the company." She looked pointedly at Trevor. "You know the terms. If you dont take over by your birthday, well be forced to go public and youll receive nothing from the sale."
Trevor leaned back in his chair. "I love writing. Im not an executive, Im an artist. I cant run Up Side."
"Cant or wont?" Adele rose and walked toward her desk. She lifted a picture of her and Trevors dad on their wedding day.
"Your father had dreams." Adele traced the frame with her fingertip. "Other things he wanted to do with his life, but he gave them up for you and for the family." She turned toward Trevor. "You know he was a cla.s.sical pianist. He had perfect pitch, was an amazing musician. What do you think Grandpa Brice thought of the idea of your father foregoing a career at Up Side Burger to become a musician?"
Trevor closed his eyes. These family stories had been repeated to him his entire life. How Grandpa Brice had nearly lost his mind when Dad went to him and told him that he was leaving Los Angeles for New York. Grandpa had disowned Dad, had sent him away without a dime. Had said, go play your music, but dont come back. Then Dad met Mom in a club in Brooklyn where he was playing two nights a week for free meals.
"Why was he struggling like that? Why did he want to? The whole thing was ridiculous. He came back and he was happy. He never regretted making his music a hobby and focusing on Up Side." Adele turned to Trevor. "He was happy. We were happy. Once you were born, he understood even more what he was working for and why his own father worked so hard." Adele set the picture back on her desk. "Taking over Up Side isnt a sacrifice, Trevor, its a gift, to you from your entire family. Dont throw away the company that your grandparents and your father and even I worked so hard to be able to give to you."
Trevor stood. "Mom, I cant do what you, and Grandma, and Grandpa and even Dad did. I cant sacrifice my entire life for"-he lifted his hands and looked around the room that had been first his Grandpas and Dads and now Moms-"I cant sacrifice my entire life and all my dreams for Up Side. I dont understand-"
"Dammit, Trevor, I let you go away! I didnt push you. I thought if you had time for this fantasy life of yours youd come back and understand what youre meant to do, the responsibility youre meant to take on."
"Mom, really?"
"Trevor, this decision doesnt just affect our family. Think of everyone who works for Up Side. The families and people who depend on their paychecks. Were a good solid company. We have a payroll of over twenty million dollars every two weeks. Whats going to happen to all those people when were forced to go public? You think a corporation with shareholders is going to provide tuition reimburs.e.m.e.nt and healthcare and a living wage? Do you?" Mom walked toward a framed photo on the wall, of his grandparents in front of their first store in Venice. "In grad school you did case studies on burger places. You know whatll happen if Up Side is sold. How many companies of any kind still have pension programs? How do you think Becky can afford to move to Paris when she retires? What happens to that, Trevor? Tell me what happens to all of the people whove dedicated their work and their lives to us."
Trevor filled his lungs with a long deep breath. Many people helped make Up Side Burger a success. Mom squeezed his arm. Her voice softened. Her eyes pleaded with him to try to understand. "Youve got a month until your birthday. Dont decide now, just think about this." She turned her face toward a picture of all the Up Side employees, taken at the last company picnic. "Think about all of them."
Heat thrummed through his body. He was caught between what Mom expected from him and what he wanted. A hard place hed inhabited for most his life. This feeling of frustration had propelled him to leave L.A. and go to Mesquale. His teeth ground together. "Ill think about it, Mom."
"Good," Adele smiled. "Thats all I can ask."
Chapter 7.
Poppy wasnt a nanny or a mother and knew very little about childcare, but in three days shed managed to keep her two nieces alive and get some of the messes in Mimis house wrangled. All of the above went into the win column. Each day Poppy bathed and fed the girls and Mimi went to bed early and left for the hospital each morning.
With small children around, an extra pair of hands was essential. How did Mimi manage this every day? Poppy scanned the playground, where Laura stood at the top of the slide waiting her turn while Hazel napped in her stroller. Today Poppy had packed a picnic lunch for all four of them. Mimi wasnt leaving for the hospital until late afternoon.
"Mom asks about you." Mimi sat on the blanket beneath a giant willow tree and picked at apple slices.
Poppys stomach tightened. Shed been avoiding conversations about Therese and her health, not because Poppy didnt want to listen to Mimi, but because Poppy really didnt want to hear about Therese.
Mimis gaze latched onto Laura, who now threw her body onto the slide and, with a gargantuan grin, giggled all the way down to the spot where she landed on the sand. She looked at Mimi and Poppy and held her arms above her head. Mimi mimicked the motion and Laura dashed back toward the stairs to go down the slide again.
"This was a brilliant idea." Mimi smoothed wrinkles out of the blanket. "Thank you for doing it. Thank you for being here and helping."
"I want to help ..." Poppy started. "I just dont want to ..." Her words drifted off. She felt so unforgiving, so selfish, so cold, but the woman who had given birth to Poppy had ditched her. Therese hadnt been a mother to Poppy the way Mimi was a mother to her girls.
Mimi leaned on her hand and tucked around her other side. Her gaze remained on Laura. "You know, I didnt want to see Mom either until I had the girls."
Poppy nodded. She remembered when Mimi had called and told her shed seen Therese that first time. It had been so that Therese could meet Laura when she was a baby. Poppy had wanted to scream and throw the phone across the room.
"The girls changed my feelings about Mom for me. But they didnt change what I thought about what Mom did to us, how she treated us, how she abandoned us."
Poppy flinched with the word.
"But these two helped me to understand ... not how she could have done what she did but why."
Poppys eyes flashed and she turned her head toward her sister. "Really? Because I cant imagine you ever running away from Laura and Hazel. Leaving them with Daniel and never taking care of them again."
"I cant either"-a soft smile curved over Mimis face-"today."
Heat simmered in Poppys chest. "Youre kidding with that."
"Half yes, half no. Very few mothers dont occasionally fantasize about ditching the family and the mess and the crying and the p.o.o.p and being free. No responsibilities. Sleeping in. A plush bed with clean white sheets." She bit into a slice of apple. "Funny what becomes a luxury when you have children."
"But those are fantasies." Poppy scooped up a handful of sand and slowly let it slide between her fingers. "Youd never leave Laura and Hazel. Therese did. She left us. Forever."
"I havent forgotten, but when I had these two I was able to forgive."
"How? Id think seeing how much the girls need you wouldve made you even angrier. I mean, Ive been with them day and night for three days and even as the Awesome Aunt Poppy, Im a poor subst.i.tute for Mommy. Laura constantly asks for you. "When is Mommy coming home? How long will Mommy be gone? Wheres Mommy?"
"You did the same thing after Mom left." Mimis voice was soft.
Pain pulsed through Poppys chest. "Of course I did." Her voice sc.r.a.ped out of her throat. "She left me. She left us. At least you and Brian got her for a while. But me? I had her just long enough to remember she was there, but not long enough to know that she loved me. I barely remember a time when she was with us." Poppy planted her fist into the sand. "I only remember the pain after she left."
Mimis eyes held a wistful sadness. Poppy realized that if her big sister could take away the pain that scarred her heart she would. Hadnt Mimi dedicated her life to trying to make Poppy feel whole? Her teenage years and early twenties had been all about helping Poppy grow up.
"Im just saying, she asks about you." Mimi brushed hair from her forehead. She pulled her gaze from Laura and looked at Poppy. "She wants to see you."
Poppy pulled her legs up in front of her body and clasped her arms around her shins. "I dont want to see her." She rested her chin on her knees and slid her face to the side. Her cheek rested on her kneecaps. "I dont think I ever will."
Mimi nodded. "Okay." She raised an eyebrow. "I can understand that, but you need to know there isnt much time. You need to make peace with the fact that according to the doctors we should be thinking about hospice soon."
Poppy pressed her lips into a thin line. Heat p.r.i.c.ked the backs of her eyes. d.a.m.n Therese. d.a.m.n the fact that shed abandoned them all and now, now wanted to see them. What a lousy hand shed been dealt. Why couldnt she have gotten a mom like Laura and Hazel had gotten?
"You need to find some closure with this, Poppy. You need to sort out how youll feel if you never see her again, because that never is going to happen soon."
Poppy pressed her tongue to the top of her mouth and forced her tears into submission. How did you forgive someone whod split your heart in two? How could she even be in the same room with Therese? Poppy had rehea.r.s.ed all the things she wanted to say, all the angry words she wanted to unleash, to let Therese know how badly shed shattered Poppys heart and ruined her chance of ever trusting anyone again. Of ever giving her heart away.
Mimi stood and dusted off the back of her skirt. "Brian is coming in to L.A. day after tomorrow."
If her big brother was flying all the way to Los Angeles from Malaysia then things really werent going well for Therese. "What about Dad?"
Mimi shook her head and pulled at the hair falling from her ponytail. "I dont know. I havent spoken to him in a while. I think Brianll call him." Mimi looked at Poppy. "Dad wasnt very happy when I started speaking to Mom."
"Of course not." Poppy trailed her fingers through the sand. A fractured family full of pain. To be around either of her parents was torture.
"Im excited for the girls to see Brian. I think Laura was Hazels age and in this same stroller the last time he visited." Hazel stirred and let out the tiniest mewling sound. "I just wish it wasnt for something like this." Mimi peeked beneath the yellow blanket that was spread out over the stroller. "Shes waking up," Mimi whispered.
"Mama!" Laura yelled from the swings. "Look at me!"
"Good girl!" Mimi called. "Thats right, legs out, legs in, legs out, legs in."
Poppy remembered that singsong call from her own childhood. Mimi had been so patient, teaching her to swing and ride a bike and doing all the things that a mother was meant to do for a small child. Now she was doing all of the same wonderful things again for her own daughters. Mimi lifted Hazel from her stroller. Her big blue eyes took in the entire world. "Hows my little girl? How is she?" Mimi asked in a breathy voice filled with joy.
Lauras little legs reached higher and higher toward the bright blue sky. What if Therese had stayed and been a mom to Poppy? Would she have been able to live a normal life? Would she have been able to give her heart to Trevor? To commit? How, now, when Therese was dying, was Poppy meant to feel bad and to forgive her?
A desire to run, to flee, to take her two bags and get a ticket to Hong Kong surged through her body. Brian was coming. Hed stay with Mimi and the girls. He could be with Mimi when Therese died.
"Oh no," Mimis shirt was covered in drool. "Pop, can you get me a rag?."
Yeah, Poppy could leave, but who would help Mimi the way Mimi had once upon a time helped her? She handed Mimi the towel. Mimi dabbed at her chest with one hand as she cradled Hazel against her side with the other.
Once cleaned off, Mimi settled down into a cross-legged seat on the blanket with Hazel. "You know, I forgot to ask you. Whatever happened to that guy? The poet? What was his name? Terrance, or Tyler, or ... started with a T?"
"Trevor." His name on Poppys lips sent desire mixed with sadness rolling through her body.
"Trevor! Thats it. What happened with him? Seemed like you two were kind of ..." She tossed the rag toward the diaper bag. "I dont know ... serious?"
Poppy looked toward Laura. She sat beneath a giant playground turtle beside a little boy with blond curls.
"He ... his contract at Mesquale was up too."
Mimi unsnapped her shirt. "Right. I remember that part. Wasnt he going to Hong Kong too?"
Poppy shook her head. "No, I mean he wanted to, we wanted to-"
"Oh Pop, Im sorry." Mimi brought Hazel to her breast. "We ruined your holiday."
"No, no, no." Poppy waved her hand. "It wasnt like that. You know me, different guy every six months. Im not about to get serious with a bartender from Mesquale. Right? A poet? Thats a bit dodgy, isnt it?"
"Hmm," Mimi said. "Seemed a bit more serious to me the way you talked about him." She lifted an eyebrow. "I couldnt remember the last time you told me about someone you were dating. He sounded nice. Wasnt he from California?"
Poppy shrugged. The conversation was too close to her heart. "I think. San Francisco, Los Angeles ... Im not sure."
"Not sure? Or maybe just dont want to know? Always the same Poppy. Love them and leave them. Wont be seeing you tied down with little ones anytime soon."
"No, you wont." Poppy smiled. "Being Awesome Auntie is enough for me." She shook her head. "I dont know how you do it, really." And three months ago those words would have been true, but last night, as shed bathed Laura, her nieces little arms had curved around Poppys neck. As she inhaled the sweet warm scent of clean little girl, Poppy for the first time in forever thought of having a home. A husband. A family. The one person who had been in her mind was Trevor.
Then shed smashed those thoughts away by remembering she didnt want to be tied down. Didnt want to be responsible for anyone but herself. Didnt want to give her heart to another person. Besides shed killed that possibility. Trevor hadnt texted or called in nearly six days, and by now his contract was over and hed left Mesquale.
"Okay. Shes finished. Maybe we should pack up and head home. Laura needs a nap this afternoon or sh.e.l.l be an absolute bear." Mimi removed Hazel from her breast and placed her over her shoulder for a good burp.
Poppy rolled onto her knees and started to pack away the containers that had held their lunch. No, even if Trevor had been more than a pa.s.sing fancy, a moment in time, that moment had pa.s.sed. Once she was finished playing nanny to her nieces, she too, would be on her way to another far-off locale, far, far away from California or any other place that Trevor Brice might be.
"Come in," Trevor called. The front door to his parents house was unlocked. The front door was always unlocked, because to get to the door, you had to get through a giant locked gate, a guardhouse, three attack dogs, and patrolling security. To leave your front door unlocked in Los Angeles was a privilege that his family took full advantage of. He padded barefoot down the gargantuan staircase, one of two that led to the three-story marble foyer.
Why did his mom continue to live here? She hardly needed nine bedrooms, twelve bathrooms, a formal dining room, and two kitchens. The house was cold. Wouldnt she be happier in a smaller luxe condo or townhouse? This giant Bel Air home had been his grandparents first big purchase when Up Side took off. An enormous home for their family. That family, through tragedy, old age, and disease, had been whittled down to just him and Mom. The two final survivors.
Ah, it hit him like a punch to the chest. Of course. This house was his legacy as much as the company was. His mom kept this place for him and the family that she so desperately wanted in his future. Trevor pulled air deep into his lungs. Again he was a tragic disappointment, because had no desire to reside in this giant museum of a home.
The door opened and Robert, Stephanies dad, walked into the house.
"Hey, Trev! Good to see you." Hed been Up Sides security chief for over two decades, and hed also been tasked with keeping Trevor safe all through childhood and adolescence. Robert knew way more about Trevor than Trevor ever wanted anyone to know.
"Want some breakfast?"
Robert followed Trevor through the long marble hallway toward the kitchen and the family room, where once upon a time, when Trevor actually lived here, he and his parents had done most of their living.
"Breakfast? Man, its nearly eleven. You are living the luxe life if youre just getting around to breakfast."
"Still up by four, run finished by five?" Trevor asked.
Robert sat on a stool beside the kitchen island. He placed the folder he carried onto the white granite countertop.
"Habits create character," Robert said, shooting Trevor a sly grin. "Thought I taught you that one around sixteen?"
"You did. Time change, man. Promise. By the end of the week, Ill be doing the "run before sun thing just like you taught me."
"Right."
Trevor handed Robert a bottle of water.
"I ran that name through like you asked." Robert flipped open the folder. A giant picture of Poppy filled the first sheet.