Chapter 583: Xuxu, I’m Sorry
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
Yan Rusheng closed the diary and unconsciously, his eyes turned red. He covered his face with his hands, and it had carried a lingering scent of aged paper.
This diary acted as a time capsule which brought him back to the innocent and unforgettable past which they could never return to.
In those years, they were inseparable.
He used the same way to pry the locked wooden box. A purple moldy plastic ring greeted his eyes.
Yan Rusheng couldn’t control his tears any longer. Tears filled his eyes and covered his eyelashes.
He picked up the ring and there was a photo underneath it. That photo was the only photo they had officially ever taken together.
It was taken when Grandmother celebrated her 70th birthday, and she had commanded them to take a picture together.
He picked up the photo. There were some neatly handwritten words behind it. It painfully stung his eyes as he read it.
‘The farthest distance in the world isn’t life and death. It’s when you don’t even know that I’m in love with you, even when I’ve always been by your side.’
He had always thought that he was intelligent and brilliant, but all along he had been a foolish and stupid fool.
During the five years, every entry in her diary was lively, positive and zealous.
She wrote, ‘That fellow had gotten first place during the exam and I was in second place. I was unhappy at first. But when I saw his smug expression when he walked past me… he looked quite handsome indeed.’
She wrote another entry. ‘So many girls like him and gave him love letters. It’s so annoying to see but fortunately, he never read any of their letters.’
She wrote again. ‘He had grown taller again. Why didn’t I? If I don’t grow taller, he will look down on me in the future.’
There was another entry. ‘I need to be at least as hardworking as him as I wasn’t born as smart or talented like him. I need to work harder so that I can stay beside him for a few more years.’
She continued, ‘Recently there is an idol group named ‘F4′ and everyone is swooning over them. But I don’t think that they’re more good-looking than Ah Sheng. His smile could ruin a city, and another smile from him could overturn an entire country.’
She wrote in another entry. ‘The arrogant Ah Sheng might never know for the rest of his life that Wen Xuxu, the girl he loathed had liked him so much in the past.’
Yan Rusheng looked at the photo as he recalled Xuxu’s diary entries. Every confession mercilessly tugged at his heartstrings. He smiled as his vision became even more blurry.
Xuxu, wasn’t I affected and influenced by you… and my entire life too?
Until that moment, he finally understood; his pride and arrogance had hoodwinked his heart. He had attributed his utmost attention and focus towards her as jealousy and hatred.
‘You all go ahead. I really don’t feel like going.’
‘Yan Rusheng, why do you have to drag me along to your dates?’
‘But I knew you first…’
‘I called you Ah Sheng first.’
‘Wen Xuxu, doesn’t she always listen to you?’
He finally realized how hurt she must have felt when he accused her.
From the day that he held Fang Jiayin’s hand ’till the day he had called out Fang Jiayin’s name while lying on top of her in bed—he had caused her so much pain and suffering in the last seven years. What does he have to do to gain her forgiveness and for him to atone for his sins?
Perhaps he wouldn’t even have the opportunity to love her anymore.
Yan Rusheng pulled out Xuxu’s eyeliner and used it to write a few words below the words that Xuxu had written.
‘Xuxu, I’m sorry.’
…
Yan Rusheng aimlessly drove around for the entire night in the capital city.
He had no idea where would Xuxu be. He didn’t want to go back home when Xuxu wasn’t around.
He placed his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes when his phone rang. It jolted him awake. After he glanced at the phone, he saw that it was his house number.