What little girl would not be proud of such homage from a "High Master of St. Paul"s," and so dear a friend?
The sonnets appear in _Miscellaneous Poetry_, by Rev. Herbert Kynaston, M.A.,[3] and two of them are here given:--
TO BESSIE ON HER BIRTHDAY.
And art thou ten years old? one half the time Is spent--oh say, thou heavenly-gifted child, How hast thou, then, those weary years beguiled-- That fills thy budding years to woman"s prime.
Thou stand"st midway, as on a height sublime, Sweet record here, sweet promise there as mild Of childish days, of girlhood undefiled, To lure thee on; heaven help thee now to climb With fairest hope, as erst, the onward part Of life"s sad upland course that still is thine!
Had I one wish, fresh gathered from the heart, To hang with votive sweets at friendship"s shrine, I"d pray--and yet, methinks, if thou wert mine, I would not have thee other than thou art.
THE SAME SUBJECT.
Forgive the thought, but I have learnt to love What others deem privation; I have seen How more than recompensed thy loss has been, Dear gentle child! by Him who from above Guides thy dark steps; and I have yearned to prove The blessed influence, the joy serene, The store of heavenly peace, that thou dost glean From angels" steps, unseen, who round thee move.
Yea, I have owed thee much; thou art a thing For sharpest grief to gather round, and grow To mellowness; where sorrow loves to cling, And tune to gospel strains the tears that flow In harshest discord, sullen murmuring, That will not learn the blessedness of woe.
In this same year, 1836, Bessie took her first long journey away from home. Her father and mother had arranged to pay visits to some old friends, and they took with them the two eldest girls, Mary and Bessie.
They stayed with the Bishop of Lincoln, Dr. Kaye, with an old college friend, Mr. Stephens, at Belgrave, Leicester, and with several other old college friends of the Princ.i.p.al"s. They visited Matlock; and on her return Bessie described to the younger sisters the excitement of going into the caves, of crossing the Styx, and of listening to the blasting of rocks. It is recorded of her at this time that she never hesitated or shrank from anything required of her. She sat down in the boat, or stood up, or bent her head just as she was told to do. The loving care of the parents was not in vain, they saw their blind child fearless and happy, and well able to take the place due to her as second daughter. It is recorded that at Liverpool she was present for the first time at a really good concert, and that the music she then heard was a great stimulus to her, as well as a keen delight.
Dr. Gilbert preached at Liverpool, and from Liverpool they went to Stockport. In the church at the latter place there was a bra.s.s band, the sudden braying of which was a shock to her nerves which Bessie never forgot. She was too young to dine or spend much time downstairs in the houses where they stayed, but she always remembered the kindness with which she was treated in schoolrooms and nurseries, and looked back upon these early visits with great pleasure.
The family hurried back to Oxford on account of the unexpected death of Dr. Rowley before his term of office had expired, and Dr. Gilbert at once entered upon the duties of Vice-Chancellor of the University.
Many little incidents connected with her father"s tenure of office were a source of amus.e.m.e.nt to Bessie throughout life.
The University marshal made daily reports to the Vice-Chancellor, and informed him of any disturbance. One morning he stated that he had found two men fighting near Wadham College and separated them. Some time afterwards he came upon them in another place and did not interfere.
"And pray, why not?" asked the Vice-Chancellor. "Well, sir, you see, they were very comfortably at it."
This story was repeated at the breakfast table and made a great impression upon Bessie. She told it and laughed over it throughout life.
If she was seated near a table when telling it, she would push herself away with her two hands as if she wanted more room to laugh, a way she had when very much amused.
It was also about the same time that the butler, standing one day by the open door, saw a freshman pursued by the proctor coming at full speed down the street. Seeing the open door the young man darted in, and rushed up the staircase. Silence for a few moments, and then peeping over the banisters the youth said in an urgent whisper, "Is he gone, is he gone?"
Now, the humour of the situation was that whilst he was so eager to escape from the proctor, nothing but a thin part.i.tion separated him from the Vice-Chancellor in his study.
We can picture to ourselves the butler"s "Do you wish to see the Vice-Chancellor, sir?" and the hasty exit!
Meanwhile the child Bessie returned to her poems, her songs, her improvisings at the piano, to lessons in the schoolroom, to that terrible frame and the leaden type and raised figures, and the sums which would not "come right"; to the brothers and sisters and the happy home life. But she too had seen something of the great world lying on the outside of Oxford, and could refer back to "my visit to the North."
An old friend of the family remembers the first sight of Bessie as a girl of about twelve years old. She was in the Magdalen Gardens with a nurse and the little brother Tom, the youngest boy, of whom she was always very fond. She was standing apart on the gra.s.s; standing peaceful, motionless, with a sweet still face, and all the sad suggestion of the large darkened gla.s.ses that encased her eyes. The little boy picked daisies and took them to her and showed her the gold in the centre. She smiled as she took them, and her slender fingers fluttered about them. And the children, the flowers, the sunlight, and those beautiful gardens in the early summer, made a picture in which this friend always loved to enshrine her memory of "Little Blossom."
FOOTNOTE:
[3] Published by B. Fellowes, Ludgate Street, 1841.
CHAPTER IV
WHAT THE PROPHETESS FORESAW
"Cette loi sainte, il faut s"y conformer Et la voici, toute ame y peut atteindre: Ne rien har, mon enfant; tout aimer Ou tout plaindre."--VICTOR HUGO.
The early summer of 1838 was spent by the Vice-Chancellor and his family at Malvern. Bessie greatly enjoyed long walks on the hills, but either from over fatigue, or because the air was too keen for her, she began to suffer at that time from what she always spoke of as "my long headache."
It was a headache that lasted many months and caused the parents almost as much suffering as the child. On their return to Oxford the family doctor was called in and promptly applied a blister to the back of the ears.
The blister did no good; the child was often quite prostrate with pain, probably neuralgia, but the doctor was a man of resource. The diary of Mrs. Gilbert is instructive as to the treatment of such a case fifty years ago. The entry "Gave Bessie two grains of calomel," begins in August and is continued at short intervals throughout the month.
"Blisters behind the ears, to be kept open," are added to the calomel in September. In October we have reached the more advanced stage of calomel blisters, black draught (to be sipped, poor child), and leeches. The treatment was continued, with additions, throughout November, and on the 21st of December Mrs. Gilbert makes the not very surprising entry, "Bessie was worse this evening."
The parents were by this time alarmed; and the doctor acknowledged that he could do no more. Casting about for help, they bethought them of the physician whom they had seen in London some years previously, of his tenderness and sympathy.
The rough draft of a letter written to him by Mrs. Gilbert still remains to testify to the grave consideration given by the parents to the adequate statement of the case, to their endeavour to recall it to his mind and to their acknowledgment of his previous kindness and courtesy.
One point in their letter may be mentioned. "She is very fond of, and has good talents for music," writes the mother, "but her pain is so much increased by it that her music has had to be discontinued."
Poor little girl! No privation could be greater.
Of the answer sent by Dr. Farre there is no trace. But all drugs disappear from the records, and there is an account of "veratrine ointment," "a preparation of h.e.l.lebore known to Hippocrates," sent down from London, and needing so much care in the application that the Oxford doctor himself came every night to rub it on the child"s brow.
Early in 1839 she had quite recovered not only from the headache but from the effects of the remedies.
The music lessons were resumed, and before long she began the study of the harp. A younger sister remembers sitting by her to teach the pieces note by note. Bessie found it also very easy to play by ear and learnt much in this way; but the harp was a difficult instrument, and the management of it always fatigued her.
During her childhood, Cardinal, then the Rev. J. H. Newman was inc.u.mbent of St. Mary"s, the church close to the house in High Street, and that which the family attended. Even up to the last days of her life Bessie used to say that she could not listen to a chapter in Isaiah, especially any of those read in Advent, without hearing the sound of his voice.
Cardinal Newman mentions in his _Apologia_ that, on account of his doctrine and teaching, the Vice-Chancellor threatened no longer to allow his children to attend St. Mary"s. But the children knew nothing of the proposed prohibition.[4]
Augustus Short, afterwards Bishop of Adelaide, was one of Mr. Wintle"s curates at Culham. He remembers Bessie as a child, and visited her for the last time when he was in England in 1884. Mr. c.o.xe, the late Librarian of the Bodleian, was another of the Culham curates, the friend of a lifetime, whose farewell letter to Bessie was written shortly before his own death in 1881. He lived in Oxford, and went over to Culham every Sunday. At first he was accompanied by his young wife, but Mrs. c.o.xe was speedily overtaken by the cares of a family and could not go with him. Mrs. Gilbert, with her warm, kind heart, took pity upon the lonely wife, and invited her to spend the Sundays with them. In this way she saw much of the _sisterhood_, the pretty name by which the eight girls were known.
They generally walked out on Sunday afternoons, and when they reached a certain spot in Christ Church Meadows, Bessie would stop and say, "Here you have the best view of Christ Church Towers." Other friends of this and later times were Bishop Gray of Cape Town, Bishop Mackenzie, and Dr.
Barnes, Canon of Christ Church. The Provost of Oriel, Dr. Hawkins, and Dr. Gilbert were great friends, and it was possibly on this account that Bessie was a special favourite with the Provost. Mrs. Gilbert"s uncle, Mr. Wintle, was a fellow of St. John"s. He was a wealthy bachelor, had a fine voice, sang well, and was very fond of the society of his great-nieces. The Gilberts were acquainted with nearly all the families of the heads of colleges in Oxford, and the handsome, clever little girls were favourites and were "made much of." When there was a dinner party at home they came in to dessert, and accompanied the ladies to the drawing-room, where Bessie would play and sing. She lived thus not merely in a world of ideas, but in the external world of facts, of things. When a friend once spoke of another lady as handsome, Bessie exclaimed, "Oh, Mrs. ----, with such a nose!"
Many of the fellows of Brasenose College were frequent visitors at the Vice-Chancellor"s Lodgings, and the old friends, Dr. Kynaston and Mr.
Bazely, were constant as ever. They joined the girls in their walks, and paid frequent visits to the schoolroom, where the younger ones would hide their caps to prevent them from leaving.
Bessie used to delight in these visits, and looked back upon them as the very sunshine of life at Oxford. Her poetry and music gained her much sympathy. At this time, when she was about fourteen, she wrote a poem on the violet which was much praised. At fifteen her intellectual activity was the most remarkable point in her character, whilst at the same time there was an equally remarkable absence of that rebellion against authority which marks an epoch in so many young lives. Boys and girls of that age begin to fret against the restrictions of childhood and youth; they endeavour to cast aside laws and restraints; they are eager to "live their own life" and to enjoy a freedom which they are all unfit to use. Bessie knew nothing of this, or rather, she knew it in a very modified, even attenuated form. The one extravagant desire which marked her adolescence, was to be allowed the privilege of pouring out tea!
It was urged in vain that she would not know if cups were full or half full, that she could not give to each one what they wanted of tea or water, milk or sugar. Her reply was always the same, she would know by the weight. The decision of the parents, however, went against her, and she had her one small grievance. She did not "take turns" in making tea.
In the summer of 1841 Bessie, with a sister of nearly her own age, and one of the little ones, went on a long visit to Culham. They took the harp with them and practised diligently. They read history together.
Bessie gave daily lessons to her young sister, reading with her Scott"s _Tales of a Grandfather_, and teaching the child to love them as she herself did. Whenever she had charge of a younger sister, poetry entered largely into her scheme of education, and the "little sister" still remembers the Scott, Wordsworth, and Mrs. Hemans, "Hymns for Childhood"
which she learnt at this time.
Bessie loved romantic ballads and stories. She was more imaginative than any of "the others;" and "the others" thought that the loss of sight acted upon her like the want of a drag upon a wheel, when the coach goes down hill. During this visit Bessie had such a constant craving and eager desire for books, that even in their walks she induced her sister to read aloud. They thus read Southey"s _Curse of Kehama_, and she was so much excited by it that somewhat to the alarm of younger persons she went about repeating aloud "the words of that awful curse."
There were plenty of books at Culham. Mr. Wintle interdicted two or three, but amongst the rest his grandchildren were at liberty to select.