EMPEROR AND I

WEI CLAN MANOR

"Your Highness, you are worrying me.

All you do these days is stare into emptiness." Ai gently shook her mistress out of her daze. "I have not seen you for so long and I miss you. Please be not be inattentive toward me."

Li Lian was sat on a lounging chair of her bed chambers that looked into the garden. The house they were at, at the moment was a place that had been set apart by King Toba under the Wei Clan"s name.

She rubbed her sleeved hands, made by cheap cotton meant for commoners. Since being demoted, she was getting accustomed to plain clothing on her body.

Li Lian breathed out heavily. "What time is it?"

"The sun is about to set."

"Father still hasn"t arrived?"

"News has been sent that he will arrive anytime from now. Some officials have started arriving for the meeting."

This was the meeting in which the South Wing would vent about how disgruntled they were, because of her loss in achieving set goals.

"Your Highness will you tell them the whole story?" Ai sympathised. The day Ai arrived after being requested by General Feng to come serve her mistress, Li Lian was emotional that she shared what Ai had missed on.

"What is there to tell?"

"Your Highness!" Ai whined, "Stop beating yourself over everything."

"I feel bad Ai, that even now though I must feel sorry for him and cry for him, I can"t because my mind is more concerned about what will take place when father comes. Doesn"t that show how uncaring I am?"

"No, Your Highness… please spare yourself from this pain."

"I know it"s too late to cry over spilt milk."

"We could have you go see him, somehow. Tell him you love him."

Ai was naive. Handling that word like it came so easily. Love and hate were like white and black, two strong words that could make or break. To some it came naturally, falling out of love, falling in love. Then for some it was like something unattainable. "So many lies. I couldn"t. He would see through that lie."

"Do you not feel anything for him at all? Impossible."

"I do to a certain extent but what I feel cannot be summed up to be called love. I could have lied, yes." Li Lian stood up to adorn herself for her father"s arrival. "But have you thought about it, that the more I stayed the more it would hurt him in the end?"

"But Your Highness not telling him that you love him, risked your life. Our King may not let you live because of the circ.u.mstances. Don"t you care for your life, while it is precious to me?"

"What does it matter? Living is already death without freedom."

When Li Lian went to Yuwen Hong"s chambers her goal was to lie her way into his bed. She would tell him anything he would like to hear. This she had done so well at the beginning but with him things were not so simple. He always brought her to a place of vulnerability that she couldn"t hide behind a masquerade.

Indeed she liked him, crushed on him and was attracted to him. She could have told him this but that would have him hold on to her, be hopeful on the impossible. Them together only meant betrayal because of their destinies. Fate was against them. Huticah and Nevoria were sworn enemies. Her father killed his father, surely blood was thicker than water.

Her feelings for him were not as strong as his. When they were separated by Mistress Kei she did not bashadley seek him out. She was not one who risked her life to find him so that they could reconcile, just as he did. When Hu-go came she was shameless enough to even give herself up to him though she promised to marry Luo... Yuwen Hong.
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What was better was to live on apart and in another life she would owe him. Let her love him and Yuwen Hong not to love her back. Fair that she experience the heartbreak she did not feel toward him in this life.

"I think our king is here, Your Highness." Ai turned to the door due to the commotion going on outside.

"Wait Ai!" Li Lian followed her. "I want to send you out while it is still this busy." This way her maid"s absence would not be noticed. Everyone would be busy serving her father.

"I will do anything for you."

"Thank you. You know that I appreciate your servitude heart."

Ai smiled wildly. "Oh, Your Highness. Those words flatter my heart."

Li Lian smiled back, though not as wide as Ai. "Please go to the market and ask for the best books that are written on romance. The love between man and woman." She reached into her sleeves and took out a couple of silver stones. These were some of her earnings when she worked for Grand Consort Shu.

"Eh? I see Her Highness does wish to fall in love."

"In another life. I would wish to."

It was later that evening that Li Lian was summoned to give her father audience in the house"s lounging chamber. She was nervous thus she tried as much not to show it.

"Mistress Kei was the best person there could be to train you. How could you bring shame to the Wei Clan? That wretched emperor has taken away power from the South Wing due to your unruly behavior. He  denotes the South Wing from their lofty positions then promotes the North Wing, stating it"s for the sake of his grandmother but we know that is a lie. It is you who has displeased him for him to be this rampant."

"Father if I may explain―"

"Explain what?" He slapped her, fuming.

Li Lian immediately fell on her knees to calm his anger. This was her submissive position to remind him that he was greater than her and her life was at his disposal. May he have mercy on her.

His face scowled with him breathing hard as he spoke. He was livid. "The South Wing is angry at us and they want to cut off all ties. You should be proud of yourself, unfilial like your mother."

She quickly through her body on the floor and began to kowtow. "Please don"t kill me. My life is yours father. Have mercy on this ungrateful child."

"I would regret it if I don"t help you kick the bucket(kill her) this night. What use are you to me now?"

"Please reconsider, Your Majesty." General Feng who had been quiet thus far, knelt behind King Tobba. "Her Highness is a useful tool for the oncoming mission considering how well trained she is. Please spare her till then."

King Tobba stilled, looking at her menacingly. He kicked her to vent his frustration and she squealed in pain, hugging herself tightly.

"You have two options. Either find a way to go back into that palace, then I will forgive you. Or rescue my people with General Feng, then I will let you live but without your tongue. It"s your decision."

S.V