We all shook hands, and exchanged h.e.l.los.
"We"re here for the holidays," Al said, clearly trying to explain why he was in the wrong city. I nodded, not knowing what to say.
"Have you had a nice time?" Anna asked. It was so uncomfortable. The elephant in the room was sitting on my lap.
Beverly nodded.
"Well, I guess, I understand things a bit more now," he said looking between us. I glanced at Anna; she was wearing a forced smile. "Let"s catch up when you"re back in the office, Anna."
"Yes of course, anyway, it"s freezing, so we"d better be going before my face turns blue," Anna said. "Have a great evening."
We walked in silence. I turned to see how far away Al and Beverly had gotten before I let myself say another word. "s.h.i.t" was all I could manage once I"d established that Al couldn"t hear me. "s.h.i.t. s.h.i.t. s.h.i.t. Don"t let him bring up the anti-frat policy and fire you when you see him."
"He"s not going to fire me," Anna replied. "How far is it to go until we"re there?"
"It"s just on this next corner. You seem very confident."
"I am."
"I suppose you"re right. I guess it"s me that"s signed up to the anti-frat policy, not you."
Anna nodded. "You"re not going to get fired."
"They take it really seriously. I"m not saying some haven"t got away with it, but they have fired people before." We arrived at Andrew and Mandy"s and Anna put her hand on my arm, stopping me from reaching the knocker.
"I don"t want you to worry about this. They"re not going to fire you. I"m working my notice period. It"s not worth it to them to fire you if I"m leaving." With that, she grabbed the knocker herself.
Anna I hadn"t planned how I was going to tell him. But just as we were arriving for dinner at Andrew and Mandy"s definitely wasn"t the ideal situation to drop this particular bomb. Or was it a bomb? Even though I wasn"t sure I would take Daniel"s job offer, I decided to resign. I wanted to be with Ethan and it wasn"t realistic to expect him to move. I liked New York and Daniel"s offer at least proved that I had options around my career.
Ethan grabbed my hand from the knocker, but it was too late, I"d already thumped out our arrival.
"What did you say?" His eyes were boring into me, but I didn"t turn to meet his glare.
"You heard what I said. Let"s talk about it later." I could already hear rustling behind the door.
"No, I want to talk about it now. You handed your notice in and didn"t think I might want to know?" I couldn"t tell if he was mad or just shocked. But he wasn"t happy, and I suppose I"d expected him to be. Frankly, I"d expected him to be b.l.o.o.d.y ecstatic.
"Of course I thought you would want to know, which is why I said I had things to tell you."
"So do you have a new job? Are you going to India to be a yoga instructor? Or joining a cult? What the-" Mandy"s wide smile and bouncy hair greeted us as she flung open the door.
"I"m so pleased you"re here." She pulled me into a hug. "Get in before you let all the heat out. Andrew"s in the bas.e.m.e.nt trying to find some wine that Ethan won"t spit out in disgust."
I avoided Ethan"s glare as we stripped off our coats, boots and scarves and headed into the kitchen.
"Mandy, I just need a quick word with Anna in private-"
"No you don"t." It wasn"t the time to talk about this.
"Okay, fine. We"ll do it in front of Mandy," Ethan said.
"No we won"t."
"Are you fighting?" Mandy looked worried.
"Not fighting. I just found out about thirty seconds ago that Anna quit her job."
"Ethan!" I couldn"t believe he"d just said that. This was between us, it should be private.
"You quit your job?" Mandy asked.
"Who quit their job?" Andrew emerged from the bas.e.m.e.nt carrying numerous bottles of wine.
"Anna," Mandy said. Oh my G.o.d, this was ridiculous.
"Great. Are you moving to New York?" Andrew asked the sixty four thousand dollar question.
I didn"t respond. My mouth opened and closed like a guppy. I was still in shock that the information I"d kept to myself so I could reveal it when the time was right was now being handed around like candy at a children"s birthday party.
"You said you"d lost your mojo, but I thought that was temporary. I thought you liked your job," Ethan said, trying to catch my eye.
He didn"t sound excited. He didn"t sound happy. He sounded concerned, scared even.
"I do, I did."
Andrew started handing out very full gla.s.ses of wine, thank goodness. "It"s just, well I have lost my mojo, and I thought about it and it"s never going to work out there. If we stay together there"s the anti-fraternization policy and if we were to split, I couldn"t be at that firm, there"s no way I"d handle it, so, I just . . ." Had I done the wrong thing? I"d been excited to tell Ethan. I thought he"d be pleased by the news, but maybe I"d been wrong.
"If we stay together?" Ethan asked. "When did we become an "if"?"
"Don"t get lost in the semantics, Ethan," Mandy said. "Let"s sit down. Do you want us to leave you for a few minutes?"
I really could have done without the audience. This was proper personal stuff and I was British. I wasn"t used to sharing this s.h.i.t. But Ethan shook his head and I didn"t want to be any ruder than we were being already.
"I didn"t mean anything by saying "if", Ethan. I thought this could be a good thing for us. But I understand that it might be too soon and that"s fine, it doesn"t have to be a big deal," I said. "I"m sorry about all this," I said turning to Mandy. Tears started to form in the back of my throat. The last thing I wanted to do was start crying.
Ethan reached for me and pulled me toward him. His arms around me felt like the best thing in the world. "I"m sorry," I mumbled into his chest.
"You have nothing to apologize for. I"m sorry. I just want to know these things," Ethan whispered into my ear.
"I didn"t want to put pressure on us. I don"t want you to feel like you have to do anything," I replied.
"What do you mean pressure?" Ethan asked.
"You"re being such a guy, Ethan," Mandy said. "She doesn"t want you to feel like she"s pressuring you into inviting her to New York. And you need to stop being such a girl, Anna," she continued. "Ethan wants you in New York. He"s desperate for you to move here, but he"s been running around trying to work out how he can move to London, so you don"t have to give it all up for him."
The tears started to fall. I couldn"t stop them and Ethan pulled me closer. "You don"t think that do you? That I"d feel pressure if you quit your job?"
I shrugged. "Maybe."
"f.u.c.k that. If you want to come to New York, you"ve made me the happiest man in Manhattan. But if you want something else-"
"I don"t, I want to be here with you."
"Do we have champagne in that cellar?" I heard Mandy ask as Ethan pulled my chin up. When I was finally looking at him he pressed his lips against mine.
"I can"t believe it," Ethan said as he pushed his hands through his hair. "I thought, I don"t know, I thought we"d have this long discussion about everything, and that I"d end up moving to London. I"d have to rebuild my practice and get new clients and it would be a complete ball-ache. You"ve just waved a magic wand and made everything so much easier. I mean, are you sure? You"re okay with this? You"re not going to change your mind?"
I couldn"t stop myself from grinning at him as he scanned my face, waiting for me to tell him it was a big joke. I was so happy that he wanted me in New York, that he wasn"t angry, that he didn"t feel backed into a corner.
"Yes, I"m sure. I"m really, really sure."
"Where"s that f.u.c.king champagne, Andrew?" Ethan bellowed.
"So, when are you moving?" Mandy asked.
"Well, I"ve only just been invited, so you know as much as I do," I replied, still beaming at Ethan. "I have to work my notice though. Three months."
"Three months my a.s.s. There"s no way you"ll have to work that if you don"t want to."
"Well, I"ll need to plan and do things in London before I leave, so I can"t just stay here."
"Please, beautiful, I can"t wait three months. Say you"ll be here quicker than that."
I reached up and stroked his handsome face. "I"ll speak to the partners when I get back and see what I can do. Maybe they"ll let me go earlier."
"This is so exciting," Mandy said. "I can show you round Manhattan properly. It"s such a shame you don"t live up town, there"s the most fabulous nail bar three blocks from here."
"We could move if you wanted?" Ethan looked at me expectantly.
"Wow, this is all a lot to take in," I said.
"You"re not smothering her are you, Mandy?" Andrew asked, emerging from the bas.e.m.e.nt. "She probably wants to concentrate on getting a job rather than getting her nails done."
"You know, you don"t have to worry about that," Ethan said. "But of course, if you want to work, I can speak to my contacts. I"m sure I can find something for you."
"Maybe I have my own contacts . . . and of course I want to work." I play slapped him on his arm. "Actually, Daniel might have something for me. He"s hiring a lawyer based here in New York."
"Jesus, what other secrets have you been keeping from me?"
Chapter Eight.
Ethan It felt like my chest was going to explode. I wanted to pepper her with questions about what else she"d been thinking and planning. It was all too good to be true. I was sure that she wouldn"t have to work her full three months" notice. Maybe she"d have to do a month and then she"d be here, with me, in New York.
"We should move," I blurted out.
"Ethan," her hand was on my leg, "we don"t have to decide everything now. Let"s have a nice evening with Andrew and Mandy."
"Don"t you get it?" Mandy asked. "Ethan is our oldest friend. You can"t make this evening any better than you have. He"s been waiting for you his whole life."
"Mandy, you"re going to make me cry," Anna said.
"I mean it. He didn"t even know it himself and it took the longest time, but you"re the bit that"s been missing from his life. Now that you"re here, ready and willing to move to New York, I think you love him as much as he deserves and that makes me very, very happy."
I turned to Anna and her eyes were welling with tears. "Don"t cry, beautiful." I cupped her face in my hands and brushed my lips against hers. "We"re celebrating."
"Time for a toast," Andrew said, raising his gla.s.s. "To the newest member of our family."
"You"re killing me," Anna croaked out.
During the course of the evening, every now and then I pulled back and looked at the four of us as if I were an un.o.bserved stranger, peering through a window. There was so much love and laughter, we looked so happy, all of us. Mandy was right, whether or not I"d known it, I"d been waiting for Anna my whole life. Right then, I knew how I was going to make New Year"s Eve special-I was going to propose. I squeezed Anna"s hand under the table, wanting to get closer to her, if that was even possible. She turned that beautiful smile on me and squeezed my hand back.
We"d only just climbed into the cab to start the journey downtown when she turned to me. "Why did you suggest moving, I thought you loved your flat and your neighborhood?"
I shrugged. "I do. But I want you to be happy. You might prefer a house? Or maybe to move closer to Mandy and Andrew or just get a place that"s not been mine first, that we can start in together."
She grinned at me. "What?" I asked.
She laughed. "Nothing, it"s just, I think you"re the sweetest, most romantic, thoughtful man, ever."
"f.u.c.k, don"t say that in public, ever. I"ve got a reputation to protect." I laughed. "The nice stuff is reserved just for you. I"m an a.s.shole to everyone else."
"I like the a.s.shole, too," she replied as she moved closer to me in the cab. I tightened my arm around her. "Let"s not move. Not yet. I"d like to get to know your neighborhood and Manhattan a bit more."
"I don"t want you to feel like you"re living in my apartment though, Anna. I want it to be your home."
"My home is wherever you are."
I couldn"t argue with that.
"So you"ll move in here for now and then we"ll think about moving when you"ve gotten to know the place a bit better."
"So, live together straight away?"
"Of course live together straight away. I"m not letting you out of my sight if I can help it."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
She laughed. "Okay, good. I like that plan."