Ethan "So, what do you guys do on New Year"s Eve, during the day? Carve pumpkins?" Anna asked as I wandered back into the bedroom. I"d been making last minute arrangements for this evening.
"No, we don"t carve pumpkins on New Year"s any more than we carve pumpkins on Thanksgiving."
"Oh, so what do you do?"
I thought about it. Were there traditions that I"d forgotten? "Nothing, we can do the tourist thing again. Or wander into the village."
"What, not even tonight?"
"I"ve booked us a restaurant for tonight. If they"re not partying, people normally watch the ball drop in Times Square on TV."
"Are we going to do that?"
"It depends, do you want to stand outside in freezing temperatures from about three o"clock to reserve your s.p.a.ce?"
"That doesn"t sound like much fun."
"I can"t imagine it is. We"ll have a nice evening."
"I know, I always do when I"m with you."
Just before my heart exploded the intercom buzzed.
Lucky for me Anna wasn"t quite ready, so I managed to intercept the courier from Harry Winston without too much suspicion. I took the padded envelope into the study and locked the door as quietly as I could. I wanted to see the ring and there was no way I could risk her walking in on me.
I was pretty sure she"d like it, but they had said we could choose something else if it wasn"t right. It was plainer than the first ones the woman behind the counter first picked out-just a simple band and a single square diamond. I didn"t think Anna would like too much. She wasn"t a show off. Yes-it would suit her.
My stomach began to churn. I really didn"t want to f.u.c.k this up. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted her to return to London with my ring on her finger.
"You"re right, it"s absolutely freezing. How did that happen?" Anna asked as we sat down in the horse and buggy in Central Park.
"If it starts s.h.i.tting into that bag, we"re stopping this thing and going home," I said.
Anna started laughing at me. "Just focus on how b.l.o.o.d.y cold it is, that will take your mind off the bag of poo in front of you."
"Are we done with the touristy stuff after this?"
"Yes, this experience has put me off doing anything else. I thought it would be more romantic than it is. But the cold and the poo has taken the sheen off."
"We can do romance later," I replied.
"You"re the most romantic man ever."
"Your sarcasm isn"t always a turn on, you know."
"I wasn"t being sarcastic," she said as she pulled closer to me. "I mean it. Romance for me is someone who doesn"t bulls.h.i.t, doesn"t play games and treats me well. Someone who loves me and doesn"t just say it, but shows it in everything he does. And you do all that, Ethan. I don"t want or need anything else from you."
I kissed the top of her head. "Does that mean we can get out of this buggy?"
She laughed. "Yes, we can get off. As long as we can do the bridge."
"Deal."
Luckily we were only a few short minutes from Bow Bridge. We walked to the center point and then rested side by side against the railings, looking out across the water. The pond"s surface was still and the air was silent as if the rest of the world had paused while we had this moment together.
She turned and stretched her arms around my waist and looked up at me. "This is perfect. I think I"m going to like it here."
"I think I"m going to like you here, too."
Maybe I shouldn"t wait, maybe I should ask her right now.
"Let"s come here often," she said and the moment was gone. "Maybe it could be a new tradition that we have every Sunday or something. You can push me over to the view across the lake in my wheelchair when I"m too old to walk anymore."
It was a glimpse inside her image of our future together, a picture she didn"t reveal very often.
"Deal. I like the idea of having traditions of our own. Come on, the sun is going down and it"s going to get really cold."
She nodded. "Let"s go home."
We found a cab and headed back toward home.
"You haven"t really told me what we"re doing tonight. What time are our reservations?" she asked as we got back.
"We need to leave the apartment at just before eight." I had decided to ask her just before midnight. There would be several moments tonight but there was no arrangement for a plane to carry a banner asking the question, or the ring to be in the bottom of a champagne gla.s.s. I wanted it to me more intimate than that. I wanted it to be just about us.
She paused, looked at me and the quietly said, "I"d like to see New York tonight and then I"d like to come back here, take all the pillows and blankets and quilts and pile them all on the floor. Then turn off all the lights and then lie on our mountain of bedding and watch the river and listen to the city with you, naked."
"We can do that."
"Really? It doesn"t interfere with your plans? Did you have us going to some big, fancy party? I don"t mind."
"Of course I didn"t. Tonight was always just about you and me."
Anna I was relieved we weren"t going to some fancy benefit type thing that evening. I"d brought a full-length evening dress, just in case, but as it was just dinner, I kept things a little more casual in a tight fitting, high-waist satin pencil skirt and sheer-sleeved silk blouse. I also made a special effort with my hair, first curling it and then pinning it up loosely. When I was finished, I put some make-up in my clutch and went to find Ethan. I almost ran into him as he was coming out of his office.
"Hey, I"m ready."
"You look incredible," he said, reaching his hand out to cup my a.s.s.
"You don"t look so bad yourself." What I meant was he looked heart-stoppingly handsome. He was wearing a suit but no tie. He seemed to get better looking, if that was at all possible. "I like your hair longer like that," I said, pushing my fingers through the strands as he bent to kiss my neck.
"You"ll need your coat. And gloves and a scarf."
"Thanks, Dad."
"Anna," he growled.
Ethan had hired a car for the evening and we headed uptown to the restaurant.
To my surprise we pulled up at the entrance to the Time Warner building. We seemed to be going to the Mandarin Oriental.
I looked at Ethan and he smiled at me and took my hand as we walked inside. We didn"t end up going to the hotel. Instead we headed to the fourth floor, to a restaurant called Per Se.
"I thought you might like to look out from here. It"s lower than from the suite, but still beautiful and I know how you love that view."
"Ethan, it"s beautiful and thoughtful and-thank you."
They seated us kitty corner by the window and a stunning view of Columbus Circle and Central Park.
"Have you been here before?"
He shook his head "No. But I always wanted to come. I"ve never had the opportunity until now. And tonight seemed to be the perfect time to share this with you."
"You"re right. It is perfect."
I had b.u.t.terflies in my stomach. The evening felt big. Ethan had clearly put a lot of thought into picking this place.
"Shall we have a gla.s.s of champagne?" he asked I nodded a little too enthusiastically.
"Maybe a bottle?" he asked the waiter. "Are you okay?" he asked me when we were alone again.
"Yeah, of course. A bit overwhelmed coming back here, you know?"
He nodded. "To where it all began? It was only going to be for the night and now you"re moving here."
"Are we being crazy?" I asked him. "Maybe this is a little nuts," I said, thinking out loud, my heart starting to thump in my chest.
"What do you mean crazy?"
"I mean me moving to New York and us living together. I had a job and I have friends and family in London and I"m going to start again in New York. I mean it sounds like maybe it"s a little crazy?"
"Are you worried? Are you thinking you might not want to?"
I took a deep breath and thought about the question. Was I worried? I shook my head. "I don"t feel worried. I know in my heart like it"s the right thing to do, but I think that if I was looking at my decision, not knowing how I feel about you, then I"d think I was a little nuts. Does that make sense?"
All I could think was that this was happening so quickly. Coming back here brought it all in to focus. I needed to calm down. It wasn"t like I couldn"t undo things if it all went badly wrong, right? If I could handle the worst case scenario-Ethan and I breaking up once I"d moved here-surely I would feel better.
Ethan didn"t respond, he just looked at me. I couldn"t read him.
"And it"s not like I don"t have a job. And we"re getting married or anything, G.o.d forbid."
"G.o.d forbid?"
"Yeah, I mean, it will be fine. I"m looking forward to it."
Ethan was silent. I reached for his hand and he squeezed it as he looked out onto the view.
"I"m sorry. I was thinking out loud. I shouldn"t do that. I just got overwhelmed coming back here, thinking back to our beginning and forgot my filter."
"I don"t want you to filter anything. I"ve told you. I need you to talk to me and I"m glad you did," he said. There was something in his voice that told me however much he wanted me to talk to him, he was disappointed with what I"d said.
"It doesn"t mean I have doubts. Not about you, or about us, Ethan."
He squeezed my hand and kissed me on the corner of my lips, in the way that made me melt. "G.o.d forbid," he said.
I lost count of the number of courses when we got to five.
"I"ve never tasted anything like this," I said. "I think they have wizards in the kitchen."
"Wizards?" Ethan raised an eyebrow at me.
"I think so. No human can create things to eat like this. It"s magic. Is it what you thought it would be?"
"In some ways. Better because I"m sharing it with you, I think."
"Wow, you have all the lines tonight."
He chuckled. "I think maybe I lost one or two along the way tonight."
"You did?"
"So, we"re going to make a stop on our way home, ring in the New Year and then go back to create an Everest of feathers in the living room to get naked on. Sound good?" he asked.
"Sure. Where are we seeing in the New Year?"
"You"ll see."
I grinned at him. "I can"t believe I"m flying home tomorrow."
"It"s gone quickly. But you"ll be back soon. You promise you"ll speak to them about your notice period?"
"I promise."
"Because if they don"t shorten it to a month, I"m going to step in."
"Ethan, you"re not going to do anything. I"ll deal with it. You"ve got other things to do-like clearing out closet s.p.a.ce."
"We can go shopping for the apartment when you get back if you like?"
"What for? What do you need?"
"Well, if you want to refurnish it or change things."
"I love your apartment, just like it is. Why would I want to buy new things for it?"