"No, that"s not what this was about."
My pulse calmed.
"Okay, so why did you and Leah fight, or is it not connected?"
"Yeah, well it"s kind of connected." She was reticent.
"So, talk to me."
"It"s nothing, and I overreacted. It"s embarra.s.sing, really."
"Tell me."
"Okay, but you have to promise to hear me out. Don"t go bat-s.h.i.t crazy again."
"Go on, Anna."
"Leah just asked if I would try and reconcile with Ben now that I"d read the letter. And I got really mad that she could ever think that, knowing how I feel about you. She knows how different it is between us compared to other boyfriends I"ve had. I mean, if she feels for Daniel even a tenth of what I feel for you, she would never say that. I just lost it. Totally lost it and I feel bad. I apologized and it will be fine, but I was so irritated."
I think my heart stopped. Literally, stopped dead. I didn"t think it was possible to love someone more than I knew I loved Anna but apparently it was.
"Ethan?"
"Yeah, I"m here, beautiful. I"m sorry you had that fight with Leah-no, scratch that. I"m not sorry at all. I needed to hear that from you today."
"You did?"
"It"s all good. But we need a plan. We can"t live three thousand miles away from each other for long. I think it might just ruin me."
"I was thinking the same thing."
"So, let"s think of what we can do over these next few weeks, and then discuss the possibilities face to face when you"re in New York."
"I was hoping there was going to be a little less conversation and little more action when we see each other face to face."
"You"re quoting Elvis at me?"
"I am." She laughed.
"Girls aren"t allowed to quote Elvis. It"s the law."
"Yes, sir."
"Really? And now you"re deliberately trying to make me hard?"
"Maybe." The smile pushed through her voice.
"There"s going to be plenty of action, you don"t need to worry about that."
"I can"t wait. Can I make a request?"
"A s.e.xual request? Of course. Anything."
"Hardy har-har, Mr. Scott. You know I love Andrew and Mandy . . ."
"I take it back, no requests involving swinging or foursomes."
"Once again, you"re killing me with the funny. Can"t stop laughing." She was probably the most sarcastic person I"d ever met, and I loved it. "I"d like to see them, but I want it to be you and me as much as possible."
And my heart stopped again.
Anna The next few weeks became a gigantic countdown. Ethan and I settled into a routine of sorts. We spoke to each other when he got up and then sometimes just before I went to sleep. He"d worked every weekend since being back in New York. It was selfish of me, but I liked that his life seemed to be about work. When he went out it was always business related. He"d only seen Andrew and Mandy once since he got back.
Work was less and less interesting to me. It was difficult to know whether that was because Ethan was the ultimate distraction, or whether it was the job, the clients and the politics. Maybe it was all of the above. I just didn"t see my future at the firm any more. Once I realized that, it made it difficult to get up in the morning. I needed to be working toward an alternative, but I wanted Ethan as part of that. I didn"t want to be the girl whose future depended on a guy, but that ship had sailed. My future without him was unthinkable. I would never choose a job over him, it was as simple as that. Especially a job I felt, at best, ambivalent about. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to resign.
The weekend before Christmas, Leah invited me to have her dinner with her and Daniel at their place. I was pleased to have the distraction. It was dark, wet and cold as I arrived at their place.
"It smells delicious, Leah," I said as I followed her into the kitchen. "Did you cook?"
"I did. I hope it"s all right."
"I"m not sure I"d ever bother cooking if I had a housekeeper."
"I know, but I feel really guilty about her doing everything for us all the time. And anyway, I quite like cooking. Daniel"s been in the study all day working, and I"ve been cooking. It"s been like something from the fifties. Wine?"
"Of course wine. So where"s Daniel now?"
"Behind you," Daniel said as he came into the kitchen. "My spidey sense told me you were about to open some s.h.i.tty wine, so I"ve come to save you and find the good stuff."
Leah grinned. "So how"s Ethan?"
"Good. He"s still not asked me to go to New York. But we"re going to talk about it when I go over for New Year, so it"s all good."
"Have you offered to go?" Daniel asked.
"I want him to ask me. I don"t want to feel I"ve backed him into a corner."
"He loves you. He"s not going to feel backed into a corner," Leah said.
"Then why doesn"t he ask me?"
"Have you asked him to move to London?" Leah asked.
I shook my head. "It"s difficult for him."
Daniel started laughing. "You know how ridiculous you sound, right?" Was it ridiculous to want Ethan to show me he was sure about us? "He"s in an impossible situation. He can"t ask you to move to New York without running the risk of looking like a d.i.c.k because he"s asked a girl to give up a life and career for him."
I"d not thought about it like that. "I suppose."
"And moving to London has got to be tough for a New York lawyer. I mean, I"m not trying to say your career isn"t important, but he"s a partner, he"s built a practice. It would be hard for him to start again."
"I know. I"m happy to go to New York. I don"t love my job that much. I"m bored and I could do with a fresh challenge."
"I"m going to miss you so much," Leah said as the kitchen timer started buzzing. "Will you two go and sit down. You"re distracting me."
"Are you sure you don"t want us to help?" I offered.
Leah ignored me, and Daniel guided me toward to the table at the far end of the kitchen.
"So, you think you"ll end up in New York?" Daniel asked.
I shrugged. "I guess we"ll talk about it over New Year."
"Look, I don"t know if you"d be interested, but I need a lawyer for my hotels in New York. I"ve put a new management team in there recently. There was a whole lot of c.r.a.p that happened earlier in the year. And I want someone I can trust working with them."
My stomach churned. Was he serious? "Daniel."
"What do you think? I mean, I was planning to kick off a search process, but if you"re interested . . ."
"Did Leah put you up to this?"
"What are you guys talking about? I heard my name," Leah shouted from behind the counter.
"Nothing. Tell you in a minute. Do you want a hand?"
Leah didn"t respond.
"Why would Leah put me up to this?"
"Because she"s my best friend and she loves me and is trying to look after me."
"Well, okay, yes, that"s all true, but no, she didn"t put me up to this."
"f.u.c.k." It was all I could say. A million thoughts were whirring around my head. This could be a perfect solution-but I"d always worked in a law firm. Being corporate counsel was not something I"d ever considered. Could this work?
"You might have to tone down the f-bombs in the office." Daniel chuckled.
"Are you serious?"
"Of course. Are you interested?"
"Interested in what?" Leah interrupted as she came to the table with a huge pot of something.
"I just offered Anna a job."
"You didn"t. You"d have to interview me and everything," I said, not thinking straight. This couldn"t be happening.
"If you want the job, it"s yours, Anna."
"What job?" Leah asked, collecting plates from the counter and setting them on the table.
"The General Counsel job at Palmerston."
"Oh my G.o.d, that"s perfect!" Leah said, starting to dish out the contents of the delicious smelling food from the pot she"d brought to the table.
"You didn"t know he was going to do this?" I asked.
Leah shook her head.
"And it"s not a made up job? You were going to recruit someone?" I asked Daniel.
"Yes, I told you. Think about it. I"ll send you the job spec. You wouldn"t be working for me, it would be the guys in the US. Do some research on the business. Let"s talk in a few days."
Jesus. Maybe Leah was right about the universe trying to bring Ethan and me together. Next, I"d be reading my horoscope and going to see psychics.
Chapter Five.
Anna I"d always loved Christmas. Loved the chaos and the needless presents, the rush to get everything done and the time spent with my parents and my brother. This year it felt like it was just a warm up for the main event of seeing Ethan.
The actual day was fun, but not as fun as it could have been if Ethan and I had been together. Mum had sensed my distraction, telling me with a meaningful look in her eye to "take care" as I left them, which was the most demonstrative my mother ever got. Dad was oblivious, which suited me.
Back in London, I gave in to the excitement of seeing him. I"d been patient enough. Now, I wanted to be in New York already. I"d packed and repacked about seven times. I would only be there a little under a week, and I planned to spend most of it naked, but just in case we ventured out, I wanted to make sure I had every base covered.
My phone buzzed and "s.e.x G.o.d" flashed up on my screen. I grinned. He did, after all, live up to the self-t.i.tled nickname.
"Hey," I answered.
"Are you packed?"
"And h.e.l.lo to you, handsome."
"Sorry, I just want you here already."
I didn"t know when the ache for him started. Maybe I"d had it since New York, since our first night together. Maybe since he"d left London. I did know it was getting bigger, more needy, more pressing. Speaking to him made it worse.
"I"m packed and just about to leave."
"Just bring a carry on. You won"t need any clothes anyway. And it means you won"t have to wait for your bags."
I laughed. "I"m not bringing just a carry on. Girls don"t do that. Well, I don"t anyway. Apart from anything else, I have to bring some of the gifts you"ve bought me."