"Lie flat, b.u.g.g.e.r. We"re gonna vivisect you, b.u.g.g.e.r. At long last we"ve got one of you alive, and we"re going to see how you work."
"Peter, stop it," Ender said.
"Peter, stop it. Very good. So you b.u.g.g.e.rs can guess our names. You can make yourselves sound like pathetic, cute little children so we"ll love you and be nice to you. But it doesn"t work. I can see you for what you really are. They meant you to be human, little Third, but you"re really a b.u.g.g.e.r, and now it shows."
He lifted his foot, took a step, and then knelt on Ender, his knee pressing into Ender"s belly just below the breastbone. He put more and more of his weight on Ender. It became hard to breathe.
"I could kill you like this," Peter whispered. "Just press and press until you"re dead. And I could say that I didn"t know it would hurt you, that we were just playing, and they"d believe me, and everything would be fine. And you"d be dead. Everything would be fine."
Ender could not speak; the breath was being forced from his lungs. Peter might mean it. Probably didn"t mean it, but then he might.
"I do mean it," Peter said. "Whatever you think. I mean it. They only authorized you because I was so promising. But I didn"t pan out. You did better. They think you"re better. But I don"t want a better little brother, Ender. I don"t want a Third."
"I"ll tell," Valentine said.
"No one would believe you."
"They"d believe me."
"Then you"re dead, too, sweet little sister."
"Oh, yes," said Valentine. "They"ll believe that. "I didn"t know it would kill Andrew. And when he was dead, I didn"t know it would kill Valentine too.""
The pressure let up a little.
"So. Not today. But someday you two won"t be together. And there"ll be an accident."
"You"re all talk," Valentine said. "You don"t mean any of it."
"I don"t?"
"And do you know why you don"t mean it?" Valentine asked. "Because you want to be in government someday. You want to be elected. And they won"t elect you if your opponents can dig up the fact that your brother and sister both died in suspicious accidents when they were little. Especially because of the letter I"ve put in my secret file, which will be opened in the event of my death."
"Don"t give me that kind of c.r.a.p," Peter said.
"It says, I didn"t die a natural death. Peter killed me, and if he hasn"t already killed Andrew, he will soon. Not enough to convict you, but enough to keep you from ever getting elected."
"You"re his monitor now," said Peter. "You better watch him, day and night. You better be there."
"Ender and I aren"t stupid. We scored as well as you did on everything. Better on some things. We"re all such wonderfully bright children. You"re not the smartest, Peter, just the biggest."
"Oh, I know. But there"ll come a day when you aren"t there with him, when you forget. And suddenly you"ll remember, and you"ll rush to him, and there he"ll be perfectly all right. And the next time you won"t worry so much, and you won"t come so fast. And every time, he"ll be all right. And you"ll think that I forgot. Even though you"ll remember that I said this, you"ll think that I forgot. And years will pa.s.s. And then there"ll be a terrible accident, and I"ll find his body, and I"ll cry and cry over him, and you"ll remember this conversation, Vally, but you"ll be ashamed of yourself for remembering, because you"ll know that I changed, that it really was an accident, that it"s cruel of you even to remember what I said in a childhood quarrel. Except that it"ll be true. I"m gonna save this up, and he"s gonna die, and you won"t do a thing, not a thing. But you go on believing that I"m just the biggest."
"The biggest a.s.shole," Valentine said.
Peter leaped to his feet and started for her. She shied away. Ender pried off his mask. Peter flopped back on his bed and started to laugh. Loud, but with real mirth, tears coming to his eyes. "Oh, you guys are just super, just the biggest suckers on the planet earth."
"Now he"s going to tell us it was all a joke," Valentine said.
"Not a joke, a game. I can make you guys believe anything. I can make you dance around like puppets." In a phony monster voice he said, "I"m going to kill you and chop you into little pieces and put you into the garbage hole." He laughed again. "Biggest suckers in the solar system."
Ender stood there watching him laugh and thought of Stilson, thought of how it felt to crunch into his body. This is who needed it. This is who should have got it.
As if she could read his mind, Valentine whispered, "No, Ender."
Peter suddenly rolled to the side, flipped off the bed, and got in position for a fight. "Oh, yes, Ender," he said. "Any time, Ender."
Ender lifted his right leg and took off the shoe. He held it up. "See there, on the toe? That"s blood, Peter."
"Ooh. Ooh, I"m gonna die, I"m gonna die. Ender killed a capper-tiller and now he"s gonna kill me."
There was no getting to him. Peter was a murderer at heart, and n.o.body knew it but Valentine and Ender.
Mother came home and commiserated with Ender about the monitor. Father came home and kept saying it was such a wonderful surprise, they had such fantastic children that the government told them to have three and now the government didn"t want to take any of them after all, so here they were with three, they still had a Third... until Ender wanted to scream at him, I know I"m a Third, I know it, if you want I"ll go away so you don"t have to be embarra.s.sed in front of everybody, I"m sorry I lost the monitor and now you have three kids and no obvious explanation, so inconvenient for you, I"m sorry sorry sorry.
He lay in bed staring upward into the darkness... On the bunk above him, he could hear Peter turning and tossing restlessly. Then Peter slid off the bunk and walked out of the room. Ender heard the hushing sound of the toilet clearing; then Peter stood silhouetted in the doorway.
He thinks I"m asleep. He"s going to kill me.
Peter walked to the bed, and sure enough, he did not lift himself up to his bed. Instead he came and stood by Ender"s head.
But he did not reach for a pillow to smother Ender. He did not have a weapon.
He whispered, "Ender, I"m sorry, I"m sorry, I know how it feels. I"m sorry, I"m your brother. I love you."
A long time later, Peter"s even breathing said that he was asleep. Ender peeled the bandaid from his neck. And for the second time that day he cried.
CHAPTER 3
Graff
"The sister is our weak link. He really loves her."
"I know. She can undo it all, from the start. He won"t want to leave her."
"So, what are you going to do?"
"Persuade him that he wants to come with us more than he wants to stay with her."
"How will you do that?"
"I"ll lie to him."