Translated by fairishalie
Edited by RandomAlex
April 10, 2009
Teacher Lin suddenly began to react to the chemotherapy last night, and it stopped today, so he rested sensibly in bed; half-squinting his eyes and squeezing my fingers then back to Zhou Gong"s hand.
(Zhou Gong is the G.o.d of Dream, in this sentence, it means he went back to sleep)
In the afternoon, his energy recovered. He returned to his usual manner, folded his arms, and went to the bathroom door, reached out and poked the metal doork.n.o.b. He poked it again, and then turned his head to me with an innocent face: “Lin Zhixiao, I have to go to the bathroom.” I went over to open the door for him.
My mother told me that my father couldn"t touch the cool things even when he wore gloves.
Just as he blinked his eyes and said to me, “The spoon is stainless steel,” and I said “Open your mouth, ah – ” Feeding him dragon fruits and cursing silently while looking at my father who acts cutely like didn"t care about his age, Doctor Gu pushed the door and came in.
He stood by the bed and looked silently at him for two seconds: “Teacher Lin, you are already 51 this year.” Teacher Lin nodded calmly.
The Doctor straightened his gla.s.ses: “The first IV has been hung up and totally injected, body tolerance is good. If the blood test result is good, you can go home.” Then he looked at me and went out.
I got up and sent him away. As soon as I got out of the ward, the Doctor suddenly turned around and said, “Don"t treat him like a patient, treat him like a normal person.”
I looked at the Doctor, who rarely had mood swings in front of me, and said, “Oh.”
The Doctor held his forehead, and his eyes fell on the dragon fruit and spoon in my hand: “At the very least, he can eat by himself.”
“Oh.”
“Buy a melamine spoon for him.” He turned around and left.
I looked at the stainless steel spoon in my hand and said, “Oh,” slowly.
April 15. 2009
I went back to school and began to get very busy with my thesis defense. During this period, I often went home to see Teacher Lin, and my life was quite fulfilling.
The notebook had been lying quietly in my bag, I occasionally took it out and flipped it over, looking at the different handwriting from two people leaning against each other, reminding me of the well-defined calligraphy of spring.
May 5, 2009
If the first chemotherapy was going well, consider the second one as a disaster.
Yesterday, I settled everything in the ward. I waited a long time for my mother, but she hadn"t reached the hospital yet.
I called her, and heard a waxy voice: “I"m not feeling well.”
She indeed felt unwell; her temperature was 38.6 degrees. She worked at the sub-health community office, and her emotion had been in high tension since February because of Teacher Lin"s sickness. A few days ago, she also went through a series of business trips.
I touched her forehead: “Go to sleep. I will take care of Dad.”
Teacher Lin didn"t hold on for a long time, and he reacted as soon as the medicine went down.
May 6, 2009
The beginning of summer has pa.s.sed, and the weather slightly became hot and dry.
I was holding breakfast and sitting in the elevator lounge chair while holding my head, waiting for the elevator.
“Lin Zhixiao?”
I opened my eyes, “Ah, Good Morning, Doctor Gu.”
The flow of people pushed us into the elevator and squeezed us against the wall; I squinted my eyes.
The Doctor next to me put his hands around his chest and said, “Where is your mother?”
“She"s in the Hotel, she began to have fever since the day before yesterday, the temperature wasn"t that high but it was unable to go down. Both of them, one couldn"t wake up at night, and the other one couldn"t sleep at night.”
“You—” He paused and said nothing.
After Teacher Lin finished his breakfast, finished the examinations, and began to hang up the IV. I told Xiao Yu to watch him for me, hurried to the Hotel with the heat preservation bucket, and pa.s.sed through Doctor Gu in the hallway. “Run slowly.” He said.
When the mother finished eating breakfast and had her medicine, I ran to the market to buy some vegetables, brought it to the processing point, and then ran back to the hospital. As soon as the door pushed to open, saw teacher Lin pitifully leaned against the bed: “My hand is severely numb.” I was a little anxious.
Before leaving work at noon, Doctor Gu knocked at the door and said, “Is there anything I can do for you?”
I looked at him while holding a bowl of pigeon soup. “Can you help feed Teacher Lin for me?” Teacher Lin felt depressed. Yesterday he could eat some soup, but today he doesn"t want to eat anything.
The Doctor rubbed his eyebrows and leaned over to the bedside. “Teacher Lin, you have to eat and replenish your nutrition.”
“The non-vegetable soup smells disgusting.”
“How about vegetable soup?”
“I don"t want it.”
“How about noodles?”
Teacher Lin shook his head.
“Porridge?”
Teacher Lin shook his head.
“Wonton?”
Teacher Lin hesitated for a moment.
I surprisingly looked at those two negotiating men.
The Doctor turned around: “There"s a street to the east of the hospital"s main gate, there is a wonton restaurant. You can buy small vegan wonton for him there.”
In the afternoon, my mother"s body temperature finally went down, and I went back to the ward.
“Oxaliplatin is psycho-toxic things, and the more he thinks about it, the more difficult it gets.” I recalled the Doctor"s explanation at noon, ma.s.saged Teacher Lin"s stiff shoulders: “It"s all right, go to sleep. After this infusion for blood-vessel protection, you will feel more comfortable.” Teacher Lin closed his eyes skeptically.
When I felt there was a cloth slipped across my nose, I realized that I was falling asleep. I opened my eyes and saw someone in a white robe in front of adjusting the speed of the IV drip.
Teacher Lin seemed to be asleep. I slowly pulled out my numb hands that were supporting his neck, closed my eyes, and lay on the quilt. When I was ready to stretch out, I felt a hand clinging to my head.
I opened my eyes, watched the Doctor with a white robe rub my hair like he was touching a puppy, and then walked away casually. What is this — is he suddenly possessed by something? That"s all I had in mind after he left.
A couple who grew up as childhood friends once said; the official seal between male and female was not a ‘would you be my girlfriend" sentence, but the first physical contact.
I didn"t know if this counted as physical contact or not, but since then, I feel incredibly uncomfortable when I see Doctor Gu. Just like a rush of heat running from my back through the back of my head.
Special Dialog
Doctor: Tsk, you are so calm and collected in these 20 days.
(Aren"t you also the same?)
Doctor: Sure.