Si Lan is my senior sister of different disciplines. From Hangzhou, she exudes a temperament different from that of ordinary Jiangnan girls, just like the old silver bracelet with complicated totem on her wrist—simple and unsophisticated with a dignified s-curve side.
Si Lan looks a bit like the combination of Yang Liping and A Duo. The angular betel bones are inherited from her Tujia grandmother.
(TNote: Yang Luping = famous dancer. A Duo = famous singer.)
We often jokingly call Si Lan, monk begging for alms. She always carries a big black bag on her back, as if she could wander around at any time.
When I first met Si Lan, she had not yet begun to wander, quietly waiting for her Fei Xiaoguang. They were teenage lovers who had come all the way from high school. He studied economics, she studied history, and had few lessons. She followed him to attend a few cla.s.ses and got to know us. Usually chat, didn"t talk much, occasionally a few words related to Fei Xiaoguang.
Fei Xiaoguang is senior to our cla.s.s, which name could be seen on the scholars.h.i.+p bulletin board every year. When I saw him in person, I was a little surprised, but the white-faced scholar had an expression that was too serious and solemn. How could he hold up the s.p.u.n.k in Si Lan"s bones?
But Si Lan liked it.
“Xiaoguang said that after he graduates, he would accompany me and travel all over the southwest."
I didn"t dare to tell her, how can a boy who runs to professors and counselors every day, put down his bright future here and go to the southwest with you?
Once, the college held a party, and she attended it with Fei Xiaoguang. During this period, she came to talk and laugh with us. A senior sister exaggerated, imitated the wedding song of the Mosuo people. A group of people laughed so loudly that Fei Xiaoguang suddenly came over and took Si Lan away with a gloomy face.
The senior sister: “Why do feel like this girl incurred losses?”
No matter what others think, Si Lan is still wholeheartedly waiting for her Fei Xiaoguang, waiting for her Fei Xiaoguang to accompany her to realize her dream of traveling all over the southwest.
I once asked curiously: “Why is Si Lan so interested in Sichuan, Tibet and Yunnan?”
She said: “This story is too long to tell. I promised grandma to help her find someone.”
Not long after they were promoted to senior year, Si Lan suddenly stopped coming to the courtyard, and none of us could contact her. I asked my senior sister if there was any news about Si Lan. She wouldn"t suddenly disappear like a fox demon, would she?
The senior sister said that the most common people in Liaozhai are fox demons who got disappointed by white-faced scholars.
Later, the story of the white-faced scholar spread to my ears. I thought the excuse would be the old-fas.h.i.+oned ‘I don"t think we"re suitable", but I didn"t think it was ‘I don"t think you have feelings for me".
At that time, the senior sister shouted angrily, “Bulls.h.i.+t! Not having feelings for him?! Why should a good smart woman keep such a humble husband? Isn"t he afraid of being struck by lightning, making such a fake excuse!”
On the eve of graduation, I met Si Lan who came to return books in the library. Her smile was still quiet: “I went back to a funeral a while ago.” Her grandmother is gone.
For Fei Xiaoguang, her words were few and simple: “It is not ridiculous for a man to be unable to bear it, but it is hateful to take no responsibility."
She gave me a turquoise pendant: “I"m going to Sichuan. I"m going to Tibet by the Sichuan-Tibet line.”
With such a slender figure, his eyes were bright. I hugged her: “Have a nice trip. Remember to send me a postcard."
After that, we lost contact.
Fei Xiaoguang got his wish, got into a very good foreign company and listened to his cla.s.smates talk about him, but his career and life has not been very smooth. I am not sure if this is retribution, but if he doesn"t regret missing such a nice girl as Si Lan, only he knew.
During the summer vacation after graduating from college, when I went home to clear my mailbox, I found a postcard with dust on it. On the front was the Potala Palace, the color of the sky is very beautiful. On the back was the words from Si Lan: “You must come here when you have a chance.”
I suddenly miss that unique girl.
Later, when I got in touch with my senior sister, I got to know about her experience.
After graduation, she set out with 10,000 yuan and made the b.u.mpy journey. After pa.s.sing Ganzi Autonomous Prefecture, she was cut off from here. By the time she received her messages again, she had been teaching in a primary school for five months and gave an address: “Can you send a parcel of things you don"t need? Adults and children here can use it."
“I collected five large bags of clean clothes and stationery and sent them, and she replied with a letter of thanks. There was postage on the letter.” Senior sister shook her head. “I wrote again and the replied was that she had left 3000 yuan there and had already left.”
Later, more than half a year later, I received an e-mail forwarded by my senior sister.
I"m a little nervous about opening pictures. By the moat of the ancient city of Lijiang, the thin girl sat on the stone steps, a bit tanned, her long hair put into a bun with a hairpin, simple and indifferent.
“It"s nice here. Close to the sky, and beautiful."
Si Lan is just like a little fairy, scattering to the ground, and intermittently keeping in touch with us. Sometimes it"s an email, sometimes it"s a postcard.
Until I got the news that she was going to marry.
My senior sister was pregnant, so I went alone. Three years later, I was speechless, seeing Si Lan, and hugging her again.
The night before the wedding, Si Lan and I shared a bed and I listened to her tell a long story.
A Tujia girl fell in love with a Kangba man who was 9 years older than herself.
He hid and felt that a girl who was good at singing and dancing would never run around with a soldier.
She chased and shoved him a silver bracelet, the other was on her wrists, a pair.
He finally softened and sent an agreeing message.
She arrived in Aba Prefecture but never saw the person again.
She waited in Aba for five years, but there was no news at all. Finally, she married a scholar who went to study there and followed her husband back to Jiangsu and Zhejiang.
I asked: “Did she find him later?”
Si Lan shook her head: “No, she hasn"t found him all her life.”
She insisted on writing in Aba, and later contacted his family, but no one has heard from him. In those days, he must have gone to the front lines…
Si Lan touched the silver bracelet on her wrists: “Grandma always thought he was here. It"s actually quite good to have such a thought.”
On the wedding day, I put Si Lan on horseback. She met San Ji on the way to find the other bracelet, a Kangba boy who was willing to help her carry any heavy luggage and accompany her in the long journey.
I think this may be a continuation of her grandmother"s fate.
Last month, I sent an electronic wedding memo to Si Lan"s mailbox without any expectations. At the end of the month, Xiao Xue signed a package. It was opened with a small bronze Bodhisattva, a paG.o.da and a pair of exquisite silver gawu.
(TNote: Gawu = Gawu is a small Buddhist altar, usually made into a small box shape, which is used to be worn on the neck, and a Buddha statue is provided in the niche. Look something like a pendant.)
Si Lan said: “This is a dowry.”