Chapter 90: Her Feelings
Benladann POV
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It has been almost a month since I met Drake.
Before I was to meet him… my life was filled with darkness.
I didn"t know who I was.
I didn"t remember what I was.
I was… drowning in darkness.
Drake is… my light.
As if it were set my fate, he found me.
Even when I was an ugly mold monster… even when I tried to kill him…
He defeated me and used his strange blood to make me immune to my own Mold.
I would have never thought that such a thing could be possible.
But this world… is filled with wonders that not even common sense can explain completely.
I remember back in the day when I was with my family… those were nice days…
But then everything shattered when I realized the mold was here too.
I had nightmares about them being consumed by it.
And I… didn"t want that to happen.
So I ran away… and keep running…
And keep running…
And…
Until I was so far away I lost myself.
I don"t know what happened afterward, but one day I just pa.s.sed out from my exhaustion.
And then I was taken over by it, the Mold.
After that… it was a turbulent life that I barely remember.
I just remember roaming aimlessly in the wild, killing monsters and eating them… for years.
Most of my mind was drowning in the darkness created by the Mold.
I was imprisoned in this cage, where I couldn"t come out.
But… deep inside I didn"t want to come out.
Why? Well, it was simple.
I didn"t have anywhere to go.
I was a monster. I would hurt my parents, and… anyone that were to get closer to me.
I resigned myself to live like a monster, an endless cycle of slaughter and eating. There was no end to it… no other purpose than survival.
I resigned to everything and willingly let the Mold cage me into my own soul.
Even if I could have fought back… What was the point? I would only suffer.
It was better to stay like that…
Well, until he showed up.
This giant and amazing-looking Ice Dragon the size of a building.
He was so cool… Well, he"s still cool.
Drake is just… amazing! I can"t stop… thinking about him to the point that I feel a bit awkward…
But he wasn"t just a wild dragon, he was a gentleman deep down… He helped me despite what I was…
He had fought Molded Monsters before and learned that his blood could cancel out the Mold"s effects.
Using it, he freed me.
When I drank his blood I felt a strange feeling.
A warmth which I had forgotten.
Memories began to bubble up and… poof! I suddenly gained a lot of willpower.
And I defeated… the Mold, the consciousness of it, which also calls itself Miranda.
And after that Drake took care of me, he even healed my tummy and all…
I don"t think anyone has ever been so nice to me except my parents…
I feel so indebted to him…
There"s a feeling blossoming from the depth of my heart… I just want to pay him back for everything he had done for me…
I want to stay at his side forever…
Ah, I know it sounds weird…
Maybe I shouldn"t think like this… Perhaps Drake will think I am a freak or something.
He"s always cheering me up no matter what… He"s always there to tell me that there will be brighter days, that there are always ways to do things…
For someone like him, there"s no such thing as "impossible"… I can already tell.
He might say that he is covered with hard scales, but his scales are comfortable for me.
My skin turned very hard after drinking his blood, so I can bear his scales.
I just like to… hug him.
Ad he had never minded when I do… even though he should feel weirded out or something, he doesn"t…
Well, we are both from Earth it seems… but he had a very different life than me.
Perhaps due to this, he has such a strong spirit, something that… I lack.
When I am at his side, I feel like I want to live more.
That I want to believe in myself…
Because I know that Drake is with me.
I want to keep striving forward and to keep growing stronger…
When we are together, we"ll be unstoppable!
Yeah…
But… there"s something else…
The Mold is not going away…
He told me that… I needed to consider things.
It was part of my soul.
It seems that the Mold itself is… me?
He said that it is a soul with two minds.
So if we try to destroy the other mind, it might end up damaging my soul terribly. And Drake doesn"t know if he would be able to heal another person"s soul as he can do it with himself, he says that he might be able to do it with his own soul due to his special abilities.
So I don"t really know what to do with all of this…
What should I do, Drake?
…
I think we should try, right?
Maybe…
Perhaps…
But it seems like Miranda is slumbering, Drake hit her hard.
I hope that through this slumber, maybe she can change her ways?
It is too rare for someone to learn their lesson after being beaten…
Maybe she will keep being the same, or maybe she will change.
Whatever is the case… I guess we"ll have to see what"s going to happen someday.
But just as I said earlier, when I am with Drake, I feel like I want to live.
When I am with him… I really want to live more to enjoy things more and… explore the world and grow stronger.
He always says that there are many dangers in the world, so we have to be careful and train more too!
But…
I have been trying to suppress this…
These feelings…
I think I"ve developed more feelings for Drake than simply friendship…
I don"t know how to explain it… Even more when we consider we are different traces, completely different…
I mean, he is a giant ice dragon, a being considered a monster in some cases… he also has a completely different body type than me.
And I am an ice giant… a humanoid being… we don"t match at all.
It might even come out as super weird…
But I can"t help but have these feelings for him… Perhaps I don"t find his body s.e.xually attractive, but I feel like he is a beautiful dragon… and that his heart, his feelings, and his personality are all… so beautiful.
So I can"t help but… love him.
Is it too soon? Maybe too sudden?
I don"t know… I am simply being honest with my heart…
I love Drake…
But I can"t say this… I can"t… possibly say this ever in my life.
We are virtually different species, we can"t do any adult stuff either.
We are… simply that…
We can"t develop this… It is impossible…
And it makes me… so sad.
So… sad…
But I keep this hidden from him, and I smile because I know he likes my smile…
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