Chapter 909 Accepting Oneself
-----
"Alright, I really don"t want to delay you anymore. So let"s get over with this. Come and kill me." Said my other self, offering me his chest as he opened his arms wide.
"What?"
"You have to complete this trial by defeating me. The hardest part maybe it is the pain of getting rid of the illusion in front of a person… Come on, it is not hard, you just have to kill this loser. This good for nothing…"
"…"
"After you"re done with me, you can keep going like always. I"m sorry for taking time from you, I shouldn"t had spoken so much. Come on, let"s get over with this quickly."
He"s right, killing him would be the correct thing to do. I should get rid of him for good, so I can walk outside for those waiting for me. But no matter how much I think about it, I can"t help but feel like it hurts a lot. Crushing my former self mercilessly, it would be like negating who I was.
Is this truly what I wanted?
No…
I don"t really want this.
But its not like there"s another way to complete this trial.
At the very least, even if he"s an illusion or whatever, I want him to hear my words, and I want to comfort him, because I know he"s me. I want to comfort him the same way I"ve always wished for someone to completely understand me back then to comfort me… I want to pat myself in the back… and tell myself that I shouldn"t try to deny my past.
"You"re myself. You think I can bring myself to just kill you like this, without anything else? Dry as ice?"
"Eh?"
"I… I am sorry for not telling this to you before as well, but I have no plans in denying who I was, who you are…"
"B-But…"
"Even with all our mistakes and even with everything we did wrong, even with all our flaws, even with everything that made us who we were, I am still you, and you"re me. I cannot bring myself to forget you, to forget me…"
"You…"
I smiled back at myself, as I walked towards him and hugged him, letting his face over my large shoulders.
"We might had been flawed, but who isn"t? That flawed personality of us, all those mistakes, those flaws, they built up the man we are today."
"Ah…"
Suddenly, my other self"s eyes began to flow with tears.
"Yeah, let it all out man."
"E-Even after everything, you still want to keep myself within you? Even after everything you"ve done to easily be someone even greater? Am I not a burden to you?"
"No, you"re the one that makes me who I am. Without you, Benladann wouldn"t be in love with me. I wouldn"t even have a daughter to begin with. Imagine if I didn"t had you within me. Wouldn"t I be just a very grumpy dragon?" I sighed while giggling a bit.
"Ah… Maybe…" He sighed.
"So how about it? Let"s continue as we have always done, together." I said with a nod.
"You… don"t really see me as a burden?" He asked again.
"No, you"re what makes me. I am you and you"re me. That"s all there is to it." I said, extending my hand towards him.
He slowly extended his hand, as he grasped mine tightly.
The size difference was big, but even then, I knew that hand was so familiar… it was mine after all.
A flash of bright light began to flow from my hand, reaching his own hand and then the rest of his body. As I hugged my other self once more, he began to turn into particles of light that quickly began to fuse with my body instead of simply dissipating. I was in fact, using my ability to absorb Divinities to bring it to me. I wasn"t simply going to kill him.
"Why does this feels so warm…?" He wondered.
"Because you"re not dying, you"re simply becoming part of me again."
"Thank you… I really… I didn"t wanted to die."
"I know… Let"s go together from now on then."
As he stopped crying and smiled like I"ve never seen my past self smile, he suddenly turned into the last particles of light, fusing into my body.
The moment he disappeared, he turned into me. I felt him flowing across my body, I felt his mind become mine… There were no interruptions either because he was truly just me.
Instead of trying to beat those past insecurities, or trying to get over my flaws, I embraced them, and made them what I am today. I might had changed over time, but those things remain within me as part of what made me who I am.
I still remain afraid of things, and I am still quite timid in fact. But it is thanks to the many new experiences I"ve had in my life that I was able to improve, but I never truly stopped being the same as I"ve always been.
In fact, it could be said I was always like I am now, I simply… needed more people at my side, a new environment, and the challenges to make me open myself to what I truly was.
"I am Drake, the Dragon King."
I proclaimed those words to myself in low voice, as I walked forward, a sudden confidence I never felt within my heart began to flow into it, quickly giving me an incredible amount of warmth. However, a quick hint of melancholy embraced my heart as I walked outside the room, that small hint was perhaps that I still, was leaving something behind…
I looked behind me once more, only seeing the whiteness of the room. I guess there was nothing else anymore.
[That was incredible… I never thought that you had such thoughts about yourself, Drake.]
The System suddenly spoke to me, surprised about my feats.
"Is that so…? Neither I did…"
-----