"But," said the Prefect, a little discomposed, "I "I am am perfectly perfectly willing to take advice, and to pay for it. I would willing to take advice, and to pay for it. I would really really give fifty thousand francs to any one who would aid me in the matter." give fifty thousand francs to any one who would aid me in the matter."
"In that case," replied Dupin, opening a drawer, and producing a check-book, "you may as well fill me up a check for the amount mentioned. When you have signed it, I will hand you the letter."
I was astounded. The Prefect appeared absolutely thunder-stricken. For some minutes he remained speechless and motionless, looking incredulously at my friend with open mouth, and eyes that seemed starting from their sockets; then apparently recovering himself in some measure, he seized a pen, and after several pauses and vacant stares, finally filled up and signed a check for fifty thousand francs, and handed it across the table to Dupin. The latter examined it carefully and deposited it in his pocket-book; then, unlocking an escritoire, escritoire, pf pf took thence a letter and gave it to the Prefect. This functionary grasped it in a perfect agony of joy, opened it with a trembling hand, cast a rapid glance at its contents, and then, scrambling and struggling to the door, rushed at length unceremoniously from the room and from the house, without having uttered a syllable since Dupin had requested him to fill up the check. took thence a letter and gave it to the Prefect. This functionary grasped it in a perfect agony of joy, opened it with a trembling hand, cast a rapid glance at its contents, and then, scrambling and struggling to the door, rushed at length unceremoniously from the room and from the house, without having uttered a syllable since Dupin had requested him to fill up the check.
When he had gone, my friend entered into some explanations.
"The Parisian police," he said, "are exceedingly able in their way. They are persevering, ingenious, cunning, and thoroughly versed in the knowledge which their duties seem chiefly to demand. Thus, when G-detailed to us his mode of searching the premises at the Hotel D-, I felt entire confidence in his having made a satisfactory investigation-so far as his labors extended."
"So far as his labors extended?" said I.
"Yes," said Dupin. "The measures adopted were not only the best of their kind, but carried out to absolute perfection. Had the letter been deposited within the range of their search, these fellows would, beyond a question, have found it."
I merely laughed-but he seemed quite serious in all that he said.
"The measures, then," he continued, "were good in their kind, and well executed; their defect lay in their being inapplicable to the case and to the man. A certain set of highly ingenious resources are, with the Prefect, a sort of Procrustean bed,pg to which he forcibly adapts his designs. But he perpetually errs by being too deep or too shallow for the matter in hand; and many a school-boy is a better reasoner than he. I knew one about eight years of age, whose success at guessing in the game of "even and odd" attracted universal admiration. This game is simple, and is played with marbles. One player holds in his hand a number of these toys, and demands of another whether that number is even or odd. If the guess is right, the guesser wins one; if wrong, he loses one. The boy to whom I allude won all the marbles of the school. Of course he had some principle of guessing; and this lay in mere observation and admeasurement of the astuteness of his opponents. For example, an arrant simpleton is his opponent, and, holding up his closed hand, asks, "Are they even or odd?" Our school-boy replies, "Odd," and loses; but upon the second trial he wins, for he then says to himself: "The simpleton had them even upon the first trial, and his amount of cunning is just sufficient to make him have them odd upon the second; I will therefore guess odd";-he guesses odd, and wins. Now, with a simpleton a degree above the first, he would have reasoned thus: "This fellow finds that in the first instance I guessed odd, and, in the second, he will propose to himself, upon the first impulse, a simple variation from even to odd, as did the first simpleton; but then a second thought will suggest that this is too simple a variation, and finally he will decide upon putting it even as before. I will therefore guess even";-he guesses even, and wins. Now this mode of reasoning in the school-boy, whom his fellows termed "lucky,"-what, in its last a.n.a.lysis, is it?" to which he forcibly adapts his designs. But he perpetually errs by being too deep or too shallow for the matter in hand; and many a school-boy is a better reasoner than he. I knew one about eight years of age, whose success at guessing in the game of "even and odd" attracted universal admiration. This game is simple, and is played with marbles. One player holds in his hand a number of these toys, and demands of another whether that number is even or odd. If the guess is right, the guesser wins one; if wrong, he loses one. The boy to whom I allude won all the marbles of the school. Of course he had some principle of guessing; and this lay in mere observation and admeasurement of the astuteness of his opponents. For example, an arrant simpleton is his opponent, and, holding up his closed hand, asks, "Are they even or odd?" Our school-boy replies, "Odd," and loses; but upon the second trial he wins, for he then says to himself: "The simpleton had them even upon the first trial, and his amount of cunning is just sufficient to make him have them odd upon the second; I will therefore guess odd";-he guesses odd, and wins. Now, with a simpleton a degree above the first, he would have reasoned thus: "This fellow finds that in the first instance I guessed odd, and, in the second, he will propose to himself, upon the first impulse, a simple variation from even to odd, as did the first simpleton; but then a second thought will suggest that this is too simple a variation, and finally he will decide upon putting it even as before. I will therefore guess even";-he guesses even, and wins. Now this mode of reasoning in the school-boy, whom his fellows termed "lucky,"-what, in its last a.n.a.lysis, is it?"
"It is merely," I said, "an identification of the reasoner"s intellect with that of his opponent."
"It is," said Dupin; "and, upon inquiring of the boy by what means he effected the thorough identification in which his success consisted, I received answer as follows: "When I wish to find out how wise, or how stupid, or how good, or how wicked is any one, or what are his thoughts at the moment, I fashion the expression of my face, as accurately as possible, in accordance with the expression of his, and then wait to see what thoughts or sentiments arise in my mind or heart, as if to match or correspond with the expression." This response of the school-boy lies at the bottom of all the spurious profundity which has been attributed to Rochefoucault, to La Bougive, to Machiavelli, and to Campanella."44 "And the identification," I said, "of the reasoner"s intellect with that of his opponent, depends, if I understand you aright, upon the accuracy with which the opponent"s intellect is admeasured."ph "For its practical value it depends upon this," replied Dupin; "and the Prefect and his cohort fail so frequently, first, by default of this identification, and, secondly, by ill-admeasurement, or rather through nonadmeasurement, of the intellect with which they are engaged. They consider only their own own ideas of ingenuity; and, in searching for any thing hidden, advert only to the modes in which ideas of ingenuity; and, in searching for any thing hidden, advert only to the modes in which they they would have hidden it. They are right in this much-that their own ingenuity is a faithful representative of that of would have hidden it. They are right in this much-that their own ingenuity is a faithful representative of that of the ma.s.s; the ma.s.s; but when the cunning of the individual felon is diverse in character from their own, the felon foils them, of course. This always happens when it is above their own, and very usually when it is below. They have no variation of principle in their investigations; at best, when urged by some unusual emergency-by some extraordinary reward-they extend or exaggerate their old modes of but when the cunning of the individual felon is diverse in character from their own, the felon foils them, of course. This always happens when it is above their own, and very usually when it is below. They have no variation of principle in their investigations; at best, when urged by some unusual emergency-by some extraordinary reward-they extend or exaggerate their old modes of practice, practice, without touching their principles. What, for example, in this case of D-, has been done to vary the principle of action? What is all this boring, and probing, and sounding, and scrutinizing with the microscope, and dividing the surface of the building into registered square inches-what is it all but an exaggeration of without touching their principles. What, for example, in this case of D-, has been done to vary the principle of action? What is all this boring, and probing, and sounding, and scrutinizing with the microscope, and dividing the surface of the building into registered square inches-what is it all but an exaggeration of the application the application of the one principle or set of principles of search, which are based upon the one set of notions regarding human ingenuity, to which the Prefect, in the long routine of his duty, has been accustomed? Do you not see he has taken it for granted that of the one principle or set of principles of search, which are based upon the one set of notions regarding human ingenuity, to which the Prefect, in the long routine of his duty, has been accustomed? Do you not see he has taken it for granted that all all men proceed to conceal a letter, not exactly in a gimlet-hole bored in a chair-leg, but, at least, in men proceed to conceal a letter, not exactly in a gimlet-hole bored in a chair-leg, but, at least, in some some out-of-the-way hole or corner suggested by the same tenor of thought which would urge a man to secrete a letter in a gimlet-hole bored in a chair-leg? And do you not see also, out-of-the-way hole or corner suggested by the same tenor of thought which would urge a man to secrete a letter in a gimlet-hole bored in a chair-leg? And do you not see also, recherches recherches pi pi nooks that such for concealment are adapted only for ordinary occasions, and would be adopted only by ordinary intellects; for, in all cases of concealment, a disposal of the article concealed-a disposal of it in this nooks that such for concealment are adapted only for ordinary occasions, and would be adopted only by ordinary intellects; for, in all cases of concealment, a disposal of the article concealed-a disposal of it in this recherche recherche manner,-is, in the very first instance, presumable and presumed; and thus its discovery depends, not at all upon the ac.u.men, but altogether upon the mere care, patience, and determination of the seekers; and where the case is of importance-or, what amounts to the same thing in the political eyes, when the reward is of magnitude,-the qualities in question have manner,-is, in the very first instance, presumable and presumed; and thus its discovery depends, not at all upon the ac.u.men, but altogether upon the mere care, patience, and determination of the seekers; and where the case is of importance-or, what amounts to the same thing in the political eyes, when the reward is of magnitude,-the qualities in question have never never been known to fail. You will now understand what I meant in suggesting that, had the purloined letter been hidden anywhere within the limits of the Prefect"s examination-in other words, had the principle of its concealment been comprehended within the principles of the Prefect-its discovery would have been a matter altogether beyond question. This functionary, however; has been thoroughly mystified; and the remote source of his defeat lies in the supposition that the Minister is a fool, because he has acquired renown as a poet. All fools are poets; this the Prefect been known to fail. You will now understand what I meant in suggesting that, had the purloined letter been hidden anywhere within the limits of the Prefect"s examination-in other words, had the principle of its concealment been comprehended within the principles of the Prefect-its discovery would have been a matter altogether beyond question. This functionary, however; has been thoroughly mystified; and the remote source of his defeat lies in the supposition that the Minister is a fool, because he has acquired renown as a poet. All fools are poets; this the Prefect feels; feels; and he is merely guilty of a and he is merely guilty of a non distributio medii non distributio medii in thence inferring that all poets are fools." in thence inferring that all poets are fools."45 "But is this really the poet?" I asked. "There are two brothers, I know; and both have attained reputation in letters. The Minister I believe has written learnedly on the Differential Calculus. He is a mathematician, and no poet."
"You are mistaken; I know him well; he is both. As poet and and mathematician, he would reason well; as mere mathematician, he could not have reasoned at all, and thus would have been at the mercy of the Prefect." mathematician, he would reason well; as mere mathematician, he could not have reasoned at all, and thus would have been at the mercy of the Prefect."
"You surprise me," I said, "by these opinions, which have been contradicted by the voice of the world. You do not mean to set at naught the well-digested idea of centuries. The mathematical reason has long been regarded as the the reason reason par excellence par excellence."pj ""Ilyaa parier."" " replied Dupin, quoting from Chamfort, " replied Dupin, quoting from Chamfort, "" que toute idee publique, toute convention recue, est une sottise, car elle a con-venue au plus grand nombre." "" que toute idee publique, toute convention recue, est une sottise, car elle a con-venue au plus grand nombre."pk The mathematicians, I grant you, have done their best to promulgate the popular error to which you allude, and which is none the less an error for its promulgation as truth. With an art worthy a better cause, for example, they have insinuated the term "a.n.a.lysis" into application to algebra. The French are the originators of this particular deception; but if a term is of any importance-if words derive any value from applicability-then "a.n.a.lysis" conveys "algebra" about as much as, in Latin, The mathematicians, I grant you, have done their best to promulgate the popular error to which you allude, and which is none the less an error for its promulgation as truth. With an art worthy a better cause, for example, they have insinuated the term "a.n.a.lysis" into application to algebra. The French are the originators of this particular deception; but if a term is of any importance-if words derive any value from applicability-then "a.n.a.lysis" conveys "algebra" about as much as, in Latin, "ambitus" "ambitus" implies "ambition," implies "ambition," "reli- gio" "reli- gio" "religion", or "religion", or "homines honesti" "homines honesti" a set of a set of honorable honorable men." men."pl "You have a quarrel on hand, I see," said I, "with some of the algebraists pm pm of Paris; but proceed." of Paris; but proceed."
"I dispute the availability, and thus the value, of that reason which is cultivated in any especial form other than the abstractly logical. I dispute, in particular, the reason educed by mathematical study. The mathematics are the science of form and quant.i.ty; mathematical reasoning is merely logic applied to observation upon form and quant.i.ty. The great error lies in supposing that even the truths of what is called pure algebra are abstract or general truths. And this error is so egregious that I am confounded at the universality with which it has been received. Mathematical axioms are not not axioms of general truth. What is true of axioms of general truth. What is true of relation relation-of form and quant.i.ty-is often grossly false in regard to morals, for example. In this latter science it is very usually un untrue that the aggregated parts are equal to the whole. In chemistry also the axiom fails. In the consideration of motive it fails; for two motives, each of a given value, have not, necessarily, a value when united, equal to the sum of their values apart. There are numerous other mathematical truths which are only truths within the limits of relation. relation. But the mathematician argues from his But the mathematician argues from his finite truths, finite truths, through habit, as if they were of an absolutely general applicability-as the world indeed imagines them to be. Bryant, through habit, as if they were of an absolutely general applicability-as the world indeed imagines them to be. Bryant, pn pn in his very learned "Mythology; mentions an a.n.a.logous source of error, when he says that "although the pagan fables are not believed, yet we forget ourselves continually, and make inferences from them as existing realities." With the algebraists, however, who are pagans themselves, the "pagan fables" in his very learned "Mythology; mentions an a.n.a.logous source of error, when he says that "although the pagan fables are not believed, yet we forget ourselves continually, and make inferences from them as existing realities." With the algebraists, however, who are pagans themselves, the "pagan fables" are are believed, and the inferences are made, not so much through lapse of memory as through an unaccountable addling of the brains. In short, I never yet encountered the mere mathematician who would be trusted out of equal roots, or one who did not clandestinely hold it as a point of his faith that believed, and the inferences are made, not so much through lapse of memory as through an unaccountable addling of the brains. In short, I never yet encountered the mere mathematician who would be trusted out of equal roots, or one who did not clandestinely hold it as a point of his faith that x x2 + + px px was absolutely and unconditionally equal to was absolutely and unconditionally equal to q. q. Say to one of these gentlemen, by way of experiment, if you please, that you believe occasions may occur where Say to one of these gentlemen, by way of experiment, if you please, that you believe occasions may occur where x x2 + + px px is is not not altogether equal to altogether equal to q, q, and, having made him understand what you mean, get out of his reach as speedily as convenient, for, beyond doubt, he will endeavor to knock you down. and, having made him understand what you mean, get out of his reach as speedily as convenient, for, beyond doubt, he will endeavor to knock you down.46 "I mean to say," continued Dupin, while I merely laughed at his last observations, "that if the Minister had been no more than a mathematician, the Prefect would have been under no necessity of giving me this check. I knew him, however, as both mathematician and poet, and my measures were adapted to his capacity, with reference to the circ.u.mstances by which he was surrounded. I knew him as a courtier, too, and as a bold intriguant. intriguant.po Such a man, I considered, could not fail to be aware of the ordinary policial modes of action. He could not have failed to antic.i.p.ate-and events have proved that he did not fail to antic.i.p.ate-the waylayings to which he was subjected. He must have foreseen, I reflected, the secret investigations of his premises. His frequent absences from home at night, which were hailed by the Prefect as certain aids to his success, I regarded only as ruses, to afford opportunity for thorough search to the police, and thus the sooner to impress them with the conviction to which G-, in fact, did finally arrive-the conviction that the letter was not upon the premises. I felt, also, that the whole train of thought, which I was at some pains in detailing to you just now concerning the invariable principle of policial action in searches for articles concealed-I felt that this whole train of thought would necessarily pa.s.s through the mind of the minister. It would imperatively lead him to despise all the ordinary Such a man, I considered, could not fail to be aware of the ordinary policial modes of action. He could not have failed to antic.i.p.ate-and events have proved that he did not fail to antic.i.p.ate-the waylayings to which he was subjected. He must have foreseen, I reflected, the secret investigations of his premises. His frequent absences from home at night, which were hailed by the Prefect as certain aids to his success, I regarded only as ruses, to afford opportunity for thorough search to the police, and thus the sooner to impress them with the conviction to which G-, in fact, did finally arrive-the conviction that the letter was not upon the premises. I felt, also, that the whole train of thought, which I was at some pains in detailing to you just now concerning the invariable principle of policial action in searches for articles concealed-I felt that this whole train of thought would necessarily pa.s.s through the mind of the minister. It would imperatively lead him to despise all the ordinary nooks nooks of concealment. He could not, I reflected, be so weak as not to see that the most intricate and remote recess of his hotel would be as open as his commonest closets to the eyes, to the probes, to the gimlets, and to the microscopes of the Prefect. I saw, in fine, that he would be driven, as a matter of course, to of concealment. He could not, I reflected, be so weak as not to see that the most intricate and remote recess of his hotel would be as open as his commonest closets to the eyes, to the probes, to the gimlets, and to the microscopes of the Prefect. I saw, in fine, that he would be driven, as a matter of course, to simplicity, simplicity, if not deliberately induced to it as a matter of choice. You will remember, perhaps, how desperately the Prefect laughed when I suggested, upon our first interview, that it was just possible this mystery troubled him so much on account of its being so if not deliberately induced to it as a matter of choice. You will remember, perhaps, how desperately the Prefect laughed when I suggested, upon our first interview, that it was just possible this mystery troubled him so much on account of its being so very very self-evident." self-evident."
"Yes," said I, "I remember his merriment well. I really thought he would have fallen into convulsions."
"The material world," continued Dupin, "abounds with very strict a.n.a.logies to the immaterial; and thus some color of truth has been given to the rhetorical dogma, that metaphor, or simile, may be made to strengthen an argument as well as to embellish a description. The principle of the vis inertiae inertiae, pp pp for example, seems to be identical in physics and metaphysics. It is not more true in the former, that a large body is with more difficulty set in motion than a smaller one, and that its subsequent for example, seems to be identical in physics and metaphysics. It is not more true in the former, that a large body is with more difficulty set in motion than a smaller one, and that its subsequent momentum momentum is commensurate with this difficulty, than it is, in the latter, that intellects of the vaster capacity, while more forcible, more constant, and more eventful in their movements than those of inferior grade, are yet the less readily moved, and more embarra.s.sed, and full of hesitation in the first few steps of their progress. Again: have you ever noticed which of the street signs, over the shop doors, are the most attractive of attention?" is commensurate with this difficulty, than it is, in the latter, that intellects of the vaster capacity, while more forcible, more constant, and more eventful in their movements than those of inferior grade, are yet the less readily moved, and more embarra.s.sed, and full of hesitation in the first few steps of their progress. Again: have you ever noticed which of the street signs, over the shop doors, are the most attractive of attention?"
"I have never given the matter a thought," I said.
"There is a game of puzzles," he resumed, "which is played upon a map. One party playing requires another to find a given word-the name of town, river, state, or empire-any word, in short, upon the motley and perplexed surface of the chart. A novice in the game generally seeks to embarra.s.s his opponents by giving them the most minutely lettered names; but the adept selects such words as stretch, in large characters, from one end of the chart to the other. These, like the over-largely lettered signs and placards of the street, escape observation by dint of being excessively obvious; and here the physical oversight is precisely a.n.a.logous with the moral inapprehension by which the intellect suffers to pa.s.s unnoticed those considerations which are too obtrusively and too palpably self-evident. But this is a point, it appears, somewhat above or beneath the understanding of the Prefect. He never once thought it probable, or possible, that the minister had deposited the letter immediately beneath the nose of the whole world, by way of best preventing any portion of that world from perceiving it.
"But the more I reflected upon the daring, dashing, and discriminating ingenuity of D-; upon the fact that the doc.u.ment must always have been at hand, hand, if he intended to use it to good purpose; and upon the decisive evidence, obtained by the Prefect, that it was not hidden within the limits of that dignitary"s ordinary search-the more satisfied I became that, to conceal this letter, the minister had resorted to the comprehensive and sagacious expedient of not attempting to conceal it at all. if he intended to use it to good purpose; and upon the decisive evidence, obtained by the Prefect, that it was not hidden within the limits of that dignitary"s ordinary search-the more satisfied I became that, to conceal this letter, the minister had resorted to the comprehensive and sagacious expedient of not attempting to conceal it at all.
"Full of these ideas, I prepared myself with a pair of green spectacles, and called one fine morning, quite by accident, at the Ministerial hotel. I found D-at home, yawning, lounging, and dawdling, as usual, and pretending to be in the last extremity of ennui. ennui.pq He is, perhaps, the most really energetic human being now alive-but that is only when n.o.body sees him. He is, perhaps, the most really energetic human being now alive-but that is only when n.o.body sees him.
"To be even with him, I complained of my weak eyes, and lamented the necessity of the spectacles, under cover of which I cautiously and thoroughly surveyed the whole apartment, while seemingly intent only upon the conversation of my host.
"I paid especial attention to a large writing-table near which he sat, and upon which lay confusedly, some miscellaneous letters and other papers, with one or two musical instruments and a few books. Here, however, after a long and very deliberate scrutiny, I saw nothing to excite particular suspicion.
"At length my eyes, in going the circuit of the room, fell upon a trumpery filigree card-rack of pasteboard, pr pr that hung dangling by a dirty blue ribbon, from a little bra.s.s k.n.o.b just beneath the middle of the mantelpiece. In this rack, which had three or four compartments, were five or six visiting cards and a solitary letter. that hung dangling by a dirty blue ribbon, from a little bra.s.s k.n.o.b just beneath the middle of the mantelpiece. In this rack, which had three or four compartments, were five or six visiting cards and a solitary letter.47 This last was much soiled and crumpled. It was torn nearly in two, across the middle-as if a design, in the first instance, to tear it entirely up as worthless, had been altered, or stayed, in the second. It had a large black seal, bearing the D-cipher This last was much soiled and crumpled. It was torn nearly in two, across the middle-as if a design, in the first instance, to tear it entirely up as worthless, had been altered, or stayed, in the second. It had a large black seal, bearing the D-cipher very very conspicuously, and was addressed, in a diminutive female hand, to D-, the minister, himself. It was thrust carelessly, and even, as it seemed, contemptuously, into one of the uppermost divisions of the rack. conspicuously, and was addressed, in a diminutive female hand, to D-, the minister, himself. It was thrust carelessly, and even, as it seemed, contemptuously, into one of the uppermost divisions of the rack.
"No sooner had I glanced at this letter than I concluded it to be that of which I was in search. To be sure, it was, to all appearance, radically different from the one of which the Prefect had read us so minute a description. Here the seal was large and black, with the D-cipher; there it was small and red, with the ducal arms of the S-family. Here, the address, to the minister, was diminutive and feminine; there the superscription, to a certain royal personage, was markedly bold and decided; the size alone formed a point of correspondence. But, then, the radicalness radicalness of these differences, which was excessive; the dirt; the soiled and torn condition of the paper, so inconsistent with the true methodical habits of D-, and so suggestive of a design to delude the beholder into an idea of the worthlessness of the doc.u.ment; -these things, together with the hyperobtrusive situation of this doc.u.ment, full in the view of every visitor, and thus exactly in accordance with the conclusions to which I had previously arrived; these things, I say, were strongly corroborative of suspicion, in one who came with the intention to suspect. of these differences, which was excessive; the dirt; the soiled and torn condition of the paper, so inconsistent with the true methodical habits of D-, and so suggestive of a design to delude the beholder into an idea of the worthlessness of the doc.u.ment; -these things, together with the hyperobtrusive situation of this doc.u.ment, full in the view of every visitor, and thus exactly in accordance with the conclusions to which I had previously arrived; these things, I say, were strongly corroborative of suspicion, in one who came with the intention to suspect.
"I protracted my visit as long as possible, and, while I maintained a most animated discussion with the minister, upon a topic which I knew well had never failed to interest and excite him, I kept my attention really riveted upon the letter. In this examination, I committed to memory its external appearance and arrangement in the rack; and also fell, at length, upon a discovery which set at rest whatever trivial doubt I might have entertained. In scrutinizing the edges of the paper, I observed them to be more chafed chafed than seemed necessary. They presented the than seemed necessary. They presented the broken broken appearance which is manifested when a stiff paper, having been once folded and pressed with a folder, is refolded in a reversed direction, in the same creases or edges which had formed the original fold. This discovery was sufficient. It was clear to me that the letter had been turned, as a glove, inside out, re-directed and resealed. I bade the minister good-morning, and took my departure at once, leaving a gold snuff-box upon the table. appearance which is manifested when a stiff paper, having been once folded and pressed with a folder, is refolded in a reversed direction, in the same creases or edges which had formed the original fold. This discovery was sufficient. It was clear to me that the letter had been turned, as a glove, inside out, re-directed and resealed. I bade the minister good-morning, and took my departure at once, leaving a gold snuff-box upon the table.
"The next morning I called for the snuff-box, when we resumed, quite eagerly, the conversation of the preceding day. While thus engaged, however, a loud report, as if of a pistol, was heard immediately beneath the windows of the hotel, and was succeeded by a series of fearful screams, and the shoutings of a terrified mob. D-rushed to a cas.e.m.e.nt, threw it open, and looked out. In the meantime I stepped to the card-rack, took the letter, put it in my pocket, and replaced it by a fac-simile, fac-simile, (so far as regards externals) which I had carefully prepared at my lodgings-imitating the D-cipher, very readily, by means of a seal formed of bread. (so far as regards externals) which I had carefully prepared at my lodgings-imitating the D-cipher, very readily, by means of a seal formed of bread.
"The disturbance in the street had been occasioned by the frantic behavior of a man with a musket. He had fired it among a crowd of women and children. It proved, however, to have been without ball, and the fellow was suffered to go his way as a lunatic or a drunkard. When he had gone, D-came from the window, whither I had followed him immediately upon securing the object in view. Soon afterward I bade him farewell. The pretended lunatic was a man in my own pay."
"But what purpose had you," I asked, "in replacing the letter by a fac-simile? fac-simile? Would it not have been better, at the first visit, to have seized it openly, and departed?" Would it not have been better, at the first visit, to have seized it openly, and departed?"
"D-," replied Dupin, "is a desperate man, and a man of nerve. His hotel, too, is not without attendants devoted to his interests. Had I made the wild attempt you suggest, I might never have left the Ministerial presence alive. The good people of Paris might have heard of me no more. But I had an object apart from these considerations. You know my political prepossessions. In this matter, I act as a partisan of the lady concerned. For eighteen months the Minister has had her in his power. She has now him in hers-since, being unaware that the letter is not in his possession, he will proceed with his exactions as if it was. Thus will he inevitably commit himself, at once, to his political destruction. His downfall, too, will not be more precipitate than awkward. It is all very well to talk about the facilis descensus Averni; facilis descensus Averni;ps but in all kinds of climbing, as Catalani said of singing, it is far more easy to get up than to come down. but in all kinds of climbing, as Catalani said of singing, it is far more easy to get up than to come down.pt In the present instance I have no sympathy-at least no pity-for him who descends. He is that In the present instance I have no sympathy-at least no pity-for him who descends. He is that monstrum horrendum, monstrum horrendum,pu an unprincipled man of genius. I confess, however, that I should like very well to know the precise character of his thoughts, when, being defied by her whom the Prefect terms "a certain personage," he is reduced to opening the letter which I left for him in the card-rack." an unprincipled man of genius. I confess, however, that I should like very well to know the precise character of his thoughts, when, being defied by her whom the Prefect terms "a certain personage," he is reduced to opening the letter which I left for him in the card-rack."
"How? did you put any thing particular in it?"
"Why-it did not seem altogether right to leave the interior blank-that would have been insulting. D-, at Vienna once, did me an evil turn, which I told him, quite good-humoredly, that I should remember. So, as I knew he would feel some curiosity in regard to the ident.i.ty of the person who had outwitted him, I thought it a pity not to give him a clew. He is well acquainted with my MS., and I just copied into the middle of the blank sheet the words- ""-Un dessein si funeste, S"il n"est digne d"Atree, est digne de Thyeste."
They are to be found in Crebillon"s "Atree." "48
The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether DURING THE AUTUMN OF 18-, while on a tour through the extreme southern provinces of France, my route led me within a few miles of a certain Maison Maison de de Sante Sante or private mad-house, about which I had heard much, in Paris, from my medical friends. As I had never visited a place of the kind, I thought the opportunity too good to be lost; and so proposed to my travelling companion (a gentleman with whom I had made casual acquaintance a few days before), that we should turn aside, for an hour or so, and look through the establishment. To this he objected-pleading haste, in the first place, and, in the second, a very usual horror at the sight of a lunatic. He begged of me, however, not to let any mere courtesy toward himself interfere with the gratification of my curiosity, and said that he would ride on leisurely, so that I might overtake him during the day, or, at all events, during the next. As he bade me good-by, I bethought me that there might be some difficulty in obtaining access to the premises, and mentioned my fears on this point. He replied that, in fact, unless I had personal knowledge of the superintendent, Monsieur Maillard, or some credential in the way of a letter, a difficulty might be found to exist, as the regulations of these private mad-houses were more rigid than the public hospital laws. For himself, he added, he had, some years since, made the acquaintance of Maillard, and would so far a.s.sist me as to ride up to the door and introduce me; although his feelings on the subject of lunacy would not permit of his entering the house. or private mad-house, about which I had heard much, in Paris, from my medical friends. As I had never visited a place of the kind, I thought the opportunity too good to be lost; and so proposed to my travelling companion (a gentleman with whom I had made casual acquaintance a few days before), that we should turn aside, for an hour or so, and look through the establishment. To this he objected-pleading haste, in the first place, and, in the second, a very usual horror at the sight of a lunatic. He begged of me, however, not to let any mere courtesy toward himself interfere with the gratification of my curiosity, and said that he would ride on leisurely, so that I might overtake him during the day, or, at all events, during the next. As he bade me good-by, I bethought me that there might be some difficulty in obtaining access to the premises, and mentioned my fears on this point. He replied that, in fact, unless I had personal knowledge of the superintendent, Monsieur Maillard, or some credential in the way of a letter, a difficulty might be found to exist, as the regulations of these private mad-houses were more rigid than the public hospital laws. For himself, he added, he had, some years since, made the acquaintance of Maillard, and would so far a.s.sist me as to ride up to the door and introduce me; although his feelings on the subject of lunacy would not permit of his entering the house.
I thanked him, and, turning from the main road, we entered a gra.s.sgrown by-path, which, in half an hour, nearly lost itself in a dense forest, clothing the base of a mountain. Through this dank and gloomy wood we rode some two miles, when the Maison Maison de de Sant Sante came in view. It was a fantastic chateau, chateau, pv pv much dilapidated, and indeed scarcely tenantable through age and neglect. Its aspect inspired me with absolute dread, and, checking my horse, I half resolved to turn back. I soon, however, grew ashamed of my weakness, and proceeded. much dilapidated, and indeed scarcely tenantable through age and neglect. Its aspect inspired me with absolute dread, and, checking my horse, I half resolved to turn back. I soon, however, grew ashamed of my weakness, and proceeded.
As we rode up to the gate-way, I perceived it slightly open, and the visage of a man peering through. In an instant afterward, this man came forth, accosted my companion by name, shook him cordially by the hand, and begged him to alight. It was Monsieur Maillard himself. He was a portly, fine-looking gentleman of the old school, with a polished manner, and a certain air of gravity, dignity, and authority which was very impressive.
My friend, having presented me, mentioned my desire to inspect the establishment, and received Monsieur Maillard"s a.s.surance that he would show me all attention, now took leave, and I saw him no more.
When he had gone, the superintendent ushered me into a small and exceedingly neat parlor, containing, among other indications of refined taste, many books, drawings, pots of flowers, and musical instruments. A cheerful fire blazed upon the hearth. At a piano, singing an aria from Bellini, sat a young and very beautiful woman, who, at my entrance, paused in her song, and received me with graceful courtesy. Her voice was low, and her whole manner subdued. I thought, too, that I perceived the traces of sorrow in her countenance, which was excessively, although to my taste, not unpleasingly, pale. She was attired in deep mourning, and excited in my bosom a feeling of mingled respect, interest, and admiration.49 I had heard, at Paris, that the inst.i.tution of Monsieur Maillard was managed upon what is vulgarly termed the "system of soothing"-that all punishments were avoided-that even confinement was seldom resorted to-that the patients, while secretly watched, were left much apparent liberty, and that most of them were permitted to roam about the house and grounds in the ordinary apparel of persons in right mind.
Keeping these impressions in view, I was cautious in what I said before the young lady; for I could not be sure that she was sane; and, in fact, there was a certain restless brilliancy about her eyes which half led me to imagine she was not. I confined my remarks, therefore, to general topics, and to such as I thought would not be displeasing or exciting even to a lunatic. She replied in a perfectly rational manner to all that I said; and even her original observations were marked with the soundest good sense; but a long acquaintance with the metaphysics of mania, mania,pw had taught me to put no faith in such evidence of sanity, and I continued to practise, throughout the interview, the caution with which I commenced it. had taught me to put no faith in such evidence of sanity, and I continued to practise, throughout the interview, the caution with which I commenced it.
Presently a smart footman in livery brought in a tray with fruit, wine, and other refreshments, of which I partook, the lady soon afterward leaving the room. As she departed I turned my eyes in an inquiring manner toward my host.
"No," he said, "oh, no-a member of my family-my niece, and a most accomplished woman."
"I beg a thousand pardons for the suspicion," I replied, "but of course you will know how to excuse me. The excellent administration of your affairs here is well understood in Paris, and I thought it just possible, you know-"
"Yes, yes-say no more-or rather it is myself who should thank you for the commendable prudence you have displayed. We seldom find so much of forethought in young men; and, more than once, some unhappy contre-temps contre-tempspx has occurred in consequence of thoughtlessness on the part of our visitors. While my former system was in operation, and my patients were permitted the privilege of roaming to and fro at will, they were often aroused to a dangerous frenzy by injudicious persons who called to inspect the house. Hence I was obliged to enforce a rigid system of exclusion; and none obtained access to the premises upon whose discretion I could not rely." has occurred in consequence of thoughtlessness on the part of our visitors. While my former system was in operation, and my patients were permitted the privilege of roaming to and fro at will, they were often aroused to a dangerous frenzy by injudicious persons who called to inspect the house. Hence I was obliged to enforce a rigid system of exclusion; and none obtained access to the premises upon whose discretion I could not rely."
"While your former former system was in operation!" I said, repeating his words-"do I understand you, then, to say that the "soothing system" of which I have heard so much is no longer in force?" system was in operation!" I said, repeating his words-"do I understand you, then, to say that the "soothing system" of which I have heard so much is no longer in force?"
"It is now," he replied, "several weeks since we have concluded to renounce it forever."
"Indeed! you astonish me!"
"We found it, sir," he said, with a sigh, "absolutely necessary to return to the old usages. The danger danger of the soothing system was, at all times, appalling; and its advantages have been much overrated. I believe, sir, that in this house it has been given a fair trial, if ever in any. We did every thing that rational humanity could suggest. I am sorry that you could not have paid us a visit at an earlier period, that you might have judged for yourself. But I presume you are conversant with the soothing practice-with its details." of the soothing system was, at all times, appalling; and its advantages have been much overrated. I believe, sir, that in this house it has been given a fair trial, if ever in any. We did every thing that rational humanity could suggest. I am sorry that you could not have paid us a visit at an earlier period, that you might have judged for yourself. But I presume you are conversant with the soothing practice-with its details."
"Not altogether. What I have heard has been at third or fourth hand."
"I may state the system, then, in general terms, as one in which the patients were menages menagespy-humored. We contradicted no fancies which entered the brains of the mad. On the contrary, we not only indulged but encouraged them; and many of our most permanent cures have been thus effected. There is no argument which so touches the feeble reason of the madman as the reductio ad absurdum. absurdum.pz We have had men, for example, who fancied themselves chickens. The cure was, to insist upon the thing as a fact-to accuse the patient of stupidity in not sufficiently perceiving it to be a fact-and thus to refuse him any other diet for a week than that which properly appertains to a chicken. In this manner a little corn and gravel were made to perform wonders." We have had men, for example, who fancied themselves chickens. The cure was, to insist upon the thing as a fact-to accuse the patient of stupidity in not sufficiently perceiving it to be a fact-and thus to refuse him any other diet for a week than that which properly appertains to a chicken. In this manner a little corn and gravel were made to perform wonders."
"But was this species of acquiescence all?"
"By no means. We put much faith in amus.e.m.e.nts of a simple kind, such as music, dancing, gymnastic exercises generally, cards, certain cla.s.ses of books, and so forth. We affected to treat each individual as if for some ordinary physical disorder; and the word "lunacy"qa was never employed. A great point was to set each lunatic to guard the actions of all the others. To repose confidence in the understanding or discretion of a madman, is to gain him body and soul. In this way we were enabled to dispense with an expensive body of keepers." was never employed. A great point was to set each lunatic to guard the actions of all the others. To repose confidence in the understanding or discretion of a madman, is to gain him body and soul. In this way we were enabled to dispense with an expensive body of keepers."
"And you had no punishments of any kind?"
"None."
"And you never confined your patients?"
"Very rarely. Now and then, the malady of some individual growing to a crisis, or taking a sudden turn of fury, we conveyed him to a secret cell, lest his disorder should infect the rest, and there kept him until we could dismiss him to his friends-for with the raging maniac we have nothing to do. He is usually removed to the public hospitals."
"And you have now changed all this-and you think for the better ?"
"Decidedly. The system had its disadvantages, and even its dangers. It is now, happily, explodedqb throughout all the throughout all the Maisons de Sante Maisons de Sante of France." of France."
"I am very much surprised," I said, "at what you tell me; for I made sure that, at this moment, no other method of treatment for mania existed in any portion of the country."
"You are young yet, my friend," replied my host, "but the time will arrive when you will learn to judge for yourself of what is going on in the world, without trusting to the gossip of others. Believe nothing you hear, and only half that you see.50 Now about our Now about our Maisons de Sante, Maisons de Sante, it is clear that some ignoramus has misled you. After dinner, however, when you have sufficiently recovered from the fatigue of your ride, I will be happy to take you over the house, and introduce to you a system which, in my opinion, and in that of every one who has witnessed its operation, is incomparably the most effectual as yet devised." it is clear that some ignoramus has misled you. After dinner, however, when you have sufficiently recovered from the fatigue of your ride, I will be happy to take you over the house, and introduce to you a system which, in my opinion, and in that of every one who has witnessed its operation, is incomparably the most effectual as yet devised."
"Your own?" I inquired-"one of your own invention?"
"I am proud," he replied, "to acknowledge that it is-at least in some measure."
In this manner I conversed with Monsieur Maillard for an hour or two, during which he showed me the gardens and conservatories of the place.
"I cannot let you see my patients," he said, "just at present. To a sensitive mind there is always more or less of the shocking in such exhibitions; and I do not wish to spoil your appet.i.te for dinner. We will dine. I can give you some veal a la St. Menehoult, a la St. Menehoult, with cauliflowers in with cauliflowers in veloute veloute sauce-after that a gla.s.s of Clos de sauce-after that a gla.s.s of Clos de Vougeot Vougeotqc-then your nerves will be sufficiently steadied."
At six, dinner was announced; and my host conducted me into a large salle a manger, a manger,qd where a very numerous company were a.s.sembled-twenty-five or thirty in all They were, apparently, people of rank-certainly of high breeding-although their habiliments, I thought, were extravagantly rich, partaking somewhat too much of the ostentatious finery of the where a very numerous company were a.s.sembled-twenty-five or thirty in all They were, apparently, people of rank-certainly of high breeding-although their habiliments, I thought, were extravagantly rich, partaking somewhat too much of the ostentatious finery of the ville cour. ville cour. qe qeI noticed that at least two thirds of these guests were ladies; and some of the latter were by no means accoutred in what a Parisian would consider good taste at the present day. Many females, for example, whose age could not have been less than seventy, were bedecked with a profusion of jewelry, such as rings, bracelets, and ear-rings, and wore their bosoms and arms shamefully bare. I observed, too, that very few of the dresses were well made-or, at least, that very few of them fitted the wearers. In looking about, I discovered the interesting girl to whom Monsieur Maillard had presented me in the little parlor; but my surprise was great to see her wearing a hoop and farthingale, with high-heeled shoes, and a dirty cap of Brussels lace,qf so much too large for her that it gave her face a ridiculously diminutive expression. When I had first seen her, she was attired, most becomingly, in deep mourning. There was an air of oddity, in short, about the dress of the whole party, which, at first, caused me to recur to my original idea of the "soothing system," and to fancy that Monsieur Maillard had been willing to deceive me until after dinner, that I might experience no uncomfortable feelings during the repast, at finding myself dining with lunatics; but I remembered having been informed, in Paris, that the southern provincialists so much too large for her that it gave her face a ridiculously diminutive expression. When I had first seen her, she was attired, most becomingly, in deep mourning. There was an air of oddity, in short, about the dress of the whole party, which, at first, caused me to recur to my original idea of the "soothing system," and to fancy that Monsieur Maillard had been willing to deceive me until after dinner, that I might experience no uncomfortable feelings during the repast, at finding myself dining with lunatics; but I remembered having been informed, in Paris, that the southern provincialistsqg were a peculiarly eccentric people, with a vast number of antiquated notions; and then, too, upon conversing with several members of the company, my apprehensions were immediately and fully dispelled. were a peculiarly eccentric people, with a vast number of antiquated notions; and then, too, upon conversing with several members of the company, my apprehensions were immediately and fully dispelled.
The dining-room itself, although perhaps sufficiently comfortable and of good dimensions, had nothing too much of elegance about it. For example, the floor was uncarpeted; in France, however, a carpet is frequently dispensed with. The windows, too, were without curtains; the shutters, being shut, were securely fastened with iron bars, applied diagonally, after the fashion of our shop-shutters. The apartment, I observed, formed, in itself, a wing of the chateau, chateau, and thus the windows were on three sides of the parallelogram, the door being at the other. There were no less than ten windows in all. and thus the windows were on three sides of the parallelogram, the door being at the other. There were no less than ten windows in all.
The table was superbly set out. It was loaded with plate, and more than loaded with delicacies. The profusion was absolutely barbaric. There were meats enough to have feasted the Anakim. qh qhNever, in all my life, had I witnessed so lavish, so wasteful an expenditure of the good things of life. There seemed very little taste, however, in the arrangements; and my eyes, accustomed to quiet lights, were sadly offended by the prodigious glare of a mult.i.tude of wax candles, which, in silver candelabra, candelabra, were deposited upon the table; and all about the room, wherever it was possible to find a place. There were several active servants in attendance; and, upon a large table, at the farther end of the apartment, were seated seven or eight people with fiddles, fifes, trombones, and a drum. These fellows annoyed me very much, at intervals, during the repast, by an infinite variety of noises, which were intended for music, and which appeared to afford much entertainment to all present, with the exception of myself. were deposited upon the table; and all about the room, wherever it was possible to find a place. There were several active servants in attendance; and, upon a large table, at the farther end of the apartment, were seated seven or eight people with fiddles, fifes, trombones, and a drum. These fellows annoyed me very much, at intervals, during the repast, by an infinite variety of noises, which were intended for music, and which appeared to afford much entertainment to all present, with the exception of myself.
Upon the whole, I could not help thinking that there was much of the bizarre about every thing I saw-but then the world is made up of all kinds of persons, with all modes of thought, and all sorts of conventional customs.51 I had travelled, too, so much, as to be quite an adept at the I had travelled, too, so much, as to be quite an adept at the nil admirari; nil admirari;qi so I took my seat very coolly at the right hand of my host, and, having an excellent appet.i.te, did justice to the good cheer set before me. so I took my seat very coolly at the right hand of my host, and, having an excellent appet.i.te, did justice to the good cheer set before me.
The conversation, in the meantime, was spirited and general. The ladies, as usual, talked a great deal. I soon found that nearly all the company were well educated; and my host was a world of good-humored anecdote in himself. He seemed quite willing to speak of his position as superintendent of a Maison de Sante; Maison de Sante; and, indeed, the topic of lunacy was, much to my surprise, a favorite one with all present. A great many amusing stories were told, having reference to the and, indeed, the topic of lunacy was, much to my surprise, a favorite one with all present. A great many amusing stories were told, having reference to the whims whims of the patients. of the patients.
"We had a fellow here once," said a fat little gentleman, who sat at my right,-"a fellow that fancied himself a tea-pot; and by the way, is it not especially singular how often this particular crotchet has entered the brain of the lunatic? There is scarcely an insane asylum in France which cannot supply a human tea-pot. Our Our gentleman was a Britannia-ware gentleman was a Britannia-wareqj tea-pot, and was careful to polish himself every morning with buckskin and whiting." tea-pot, and was careful to polish himself every morning with buckskin and whiting."
"And then," said a tall man just opposite, "we had here, not long ago, a person who had taken it into his head that he was a donkey-which, allegorically speaking, you will say, was quite true. He was a troublesome patient; and we had much ado to keep him within bounds. For a long time he would eat nothing but thistles; but of this idea we soon cured him by insisting upon his eating nothing else. Then he was perpetually kicking out his heels-so-so-"
"Mr. De k.o.c.k!qk I will thank you to behave yourself here interrupted an old lady, who sat next to the speaker. "Please keep your feet to yourself! You have spoiled my brocade! Is it necessary, pray, to ill.u.s.trate a remark in so practical a style? Our friend here can surely comprehend you without all this. Upon my word, you are nearly as great a donkey as the poor unfortunate imagined himself. Your acting is very natural, as I live." I will thank you to behave yourself here interrupted an old lady, who sat next to the speaker. "Please keep your feet to yourself! You have spoiled my brocade! Is it necessary, pray, to ill.u.s.trate a remark in so practical a style? Our friend here can surely comprehend you without all this. Upon my word, you are nearly as great a donkey as the poor unfortunate imagined himself. Your acting is very natural, as I live."
"Mille pardons! Ma"m"selle!" replied Monsieur De k.o.c.k, thus addressed-" a thousand pardons! I had no intention of offending. M"am"selle Laplace-Monsieur De k.o.c.k will do himself the honor of taking wine with you." replied Monsieur De k.o.c.k, thus addressed-" a thousand pardons! I had no intention of offending. M"am"selle Laplace-Monsieur De k.o.c.k will do himself the honor of taking wine with you."
Here Monsieur De k.o.c.k bowed low, kissed his hand with much ceremony, and took wine with Ma"m"selle Laplace.ql "Allow me, mon ami," ami,"qm now said Monsieur Maillard, addressing myself, "allow me to send you a morsel of this veal now said Monsieur Maillard, addressing myself, "allow me to send you a morsel of this veal a la St. Menehoult a la St. Menehoult-you will find it particularly fine."
At this instant three st.u.r.dy waiters had just succeeded in depositing safely upon the table an enormous dish, or trencher, containing what I supposed to be the "monstrum, horrendum, informe, ingens, cui "monstrum, horrendum, informe, ingens, cui lumen lumen ademptum." ademptum." qn qn A closer scrutiny a.s.sured me, however, that it was only a small calf roasted whole, and set upon its knees, with an apple in its mouth, as is the English fashion of dressing a hare. A closer scrutiny a.s.sured me, however, that it was only a small calf roasted whole, and set upon its knees, with an apple in its mouth, as is the English fashion of dressing a hare.
"Thank you, no," I replied; "to say the truth, I am not particularly partial to veal a la St. a la St.-what is it?-for I do not find that it altogether agrees with me. I will change my plate, however, and try some of the rabbit."
There were several side-dishes on the table, containing what appeared to be the ordinary French rabbit-a very delicious morceau, morceau,qo which I can recommend. which I can recommend.
"Pierre," cried the host, "change this gentleman"s plate, and give him a side-piece of this rabbit au-chat." au-chat."
"This what?" said I.
"This rabbit au-chat." au-chat."
"Why, thank you-upon second thoughts, no. I will just help myself to some of the ham."
There is no knowing what one eats, thought I to myself, at the tables of these people of the province. I will have none of their rabbit au-chat au-chatqp-and, for the matter of that, none of their cat-au-rabbit cat-au-rabbit either. either.
"And then," said a cadaverous-looking personage, near the foot of the table, taking up the thread of the conversation where it had been broken off,-"and then, among other oddities, we had a patient, once upon a time, who very pertinaciously maintained himself to be a Cor dova cheese, and went about, with a knife in his hand, soliciting his friends to try a small slice from the middle of his leg."
"He was a great fool, beyond doubt," interposed some one, "but not to be compared with a certain individual whom we all know, with the exception of this strange gentleman. I mean the man who took himself for a bottle of champagne, and always went off with a pop and a fizz, in this fashion."
Here the speaker, very rudely, as I thought, put his right thumb in his left cheek, withdrew it with a sound resembling the popping of a cork, and then, by a dexterous movement of the tongue upon the teeth, created a sharp hissing and fizzing, which lasted for several minutes, in imitation of the frothing of champagne. This behavior, I saw plainly, was not very pleasing to Monsieur Maillard; but that gentleman said nothing, and the conversation was resumed by a very lean little man in a big wig.
"And then there was an ignoramus," said he, "who mistook himself for a frog; which, by the way, he resembled in no little degree. I wish you could have seen him, sir,"-here the speaker addressed myself,-"it would have done your heart good to see the natural airs that he put on. Sir, if that man was not a frog, I can only observe that it is a pity he was not. His croak thus-o-o-o-o-gh-o-o-o-o-gh! was the finest note in the world-B flat; and when he put his elbows upon the table thus-after taking a gla.s.s or two of wine-and distended his mouth, thus, and rolled up his eyes, thus, and winked them with excessive rapidity, thus, why then, sir, I take it upon myself to say, positively, that you would have been lost in admiration of the genius of the man."
"I have no doubt of it," I said.
"And then," said somebody else, "then there was Pet.i.t Gaillard, who thought himself a pinch of snuff, and was truly distressed because he could not take himself between his own finger and thumb."
"And then there was Jules Desoulieres, who was a very singular genius, indeed, and went mad with the idea that he was a pumpkin. He persecuted the cook to make him up into pies-a thing which the cook indignantly refused to do. For my part, I am by no means sure that a pumpkin pie a la Desoulieres a la Desoulieres qq qq would not have been very capital eating indeed!" would not have been very capital eating indeed!"
"You astonish me!" said I; and I looked inquisitively at Monsieur Maillard.
"Ha! ha! ha!" said that gentleman-"he! he! he!-hi! hi! hi!-ho! ho! ho!-hu! hu! hu!-very good indeed! You must not be astonished, mon ami; mon ami; our friend here is a wit-a our friend here is a wit-a drole droleqr-you must not understand him to the letter."
"And then," said some other one of the party,-"then there was Bouffon Le Grand-another extraordinary personage in his way. He grew deranged through love, and fancied himself possessed of two heads. One of these he maintained to be the head of Cicero; the other he imagined a composite one, being Demosthenes" from the top of the forehead to the mouth, and Lord Brougham"s from the mouth to the chin.52 It is not impossible that he was wrong; but he would have convinced you of his being in the right; for he was a man of great eloquence. He had an absolute pa.s.sion for oratory, and c