What a whirlwind of rage there was in Sadie"s heart! What earthly right had this man whom she _detested_ to give _her_ advice? Was she a child, to be commanded by any one? What right had any one to speak in that way of Dr. Dougla.s.s? He was a gentleman, _certainly_, much more of a one than Dr. Van Anden had shown himself to be--and she liked him; yes, and she would like him, in spite of a whole legion of envious doctors.
A light step crossed the hall and entered the parlor. Sadie merely raised her eyes long enough to be certain that Dr. Dougla.s.s stood beside her, and continued her playing. He leaned over the piano and listened.
"Had you a pleasant ride?" he asked, as the tone of the music lulled a little.
"Charming." Sadie"s voice was full of emphasis and sarcasm.
"I judged, by the style of music which you were playing, that there must have been a hurricane."
"Nothing of the sort; only a little paternal advice."
"Indeed! Have you been taken into his kindly care? I congratulate you."
Sadie was still very angry, or she would never have been guilty of the shocking impropriety of her next remark. But it is a lamentable fact that people will say and do very strange things when they are angry--things of which they have occasion to repent in cooler moments.
Fixing her bright eyes full and searchingly on Dr. Dougla.s.s, she said abruptly:
"He was warning me against the impropriety of a.s.sociating with your dangerous self."
A look as of sadness and deep pain crossed Dr. Dougla.s.s" face, and he thought aloud, rather than said: "Is that man determined I shall have no friends?"
Sadie was touched; she struck soft, sweet chords with a slow and gentle movement as she asked:
"What is your offense in his eyes, Dr. Dougla.s.s?"
Then, indeed, Dr. Dougla.s.s seemed embarra.s.sed; maintaining, though, a sort of hesitating dignity as he attempted a reply.
"Why--I--he--I would rather not tell you, Miss Ried, it sounds badly."
Then, with a little, slightly mournful laugh--"And that half admission sounds badly, too; worse than the simple truth, perhaps. Well, then, I had the misfortune to cross his path professionally, once; a little matter, a slight mistake, not worth repeating--neither would I repeat it if it were, in honor to him. He is a man of skill and since then has risen high; one would not suppose that he would give that little incident of the past a thought now; but he seems never to have forgiven me."
The music stopped entirely, and Sadie"s great truthful eyes were fixed in horror on his face. "Is it possible," she said at length, "that _that_ is all, and he can bear such determined ill-will toward you?
and they call him an earnest Christian!"
At which remark Dr. Dougla.s.s laughed a low, quick laugh, as if he found it quite impossible to restrain his mirth, and then became instantly grave, and said:
"I beg your pardon."
"For what, Dr. Dougla.s.s; and why did you laugh?"
"For laughing; and I laughed because I could not restrain a feeling of amus.e.m.e.nt at your innocently connecting his unpleasant state of mind with his professions of Christianity."
"Should they not be connected?"
"Well, that depends upon how much importance you attach to them."
"Dr. Dougla.s.s, what do you mean?"
"Treason, I suspect, viewed from your standpoint; and therefore it would be much more proper for me not to talk about it."
"But I want you to talk about it. Do you mean to say that you have no faith in any one"s religion?"
"How much have you?"
"Dr. Dougla.s.s, that is a very Yankee way of answering a question."
"I know; but it is the easiest way of reaching my point; so I repeat: How much faith have you in these Christian professions? or, in other words, how many professing Christians do you know who are particularly improved in your estimation by their professions?"
The old questioning of Sadie"s own heart brought before her again! Oh, Christian sister, with whom so many years of her life had been spent, with whom she had been so closely connected, if she could but have turned to you, and remembering your earnest life, your honest endeavors toward the right, your earnest struggles with sin and self; the evident marks of the Lord Jesus all about you; and, remembering this, have quelled the tempter in human form, who stood waiting for a verdict, with a determined--"I have known _one_"--what might not have been gained for your side that night?
CHAPTER XII.
THREE PEOPLE.
As it was she hesitated, and thought--not of Ester, _her_ life had not been such as to be counted for a moment--of her mother.
Well, Mrs. Ried"s religion had been of a negative rather than of a positive sort, at least outwardly. She never spoke much of these matters, and Sadie positively did not know whether she ever prayed or not. How was she to decide whether the gentle, patient life was the outgrowth of religion in her heart, or whether it was a natural sweetness of disposition and tenderness of feeling?
Then there was Dr. Van Anden, an hour ago she would surely have said him, but now it was impossible; so as the silence, and the peculiar smile on Dr. Dougla.s.s" face, grew uncomfortable, she answered hurriedly: "I don"t know many Christian people, Doctor." And then, more truthfully: "But I don"t consider those with whom I am acquainted in any degree remarkable; yet at the same time I don"t choose to set down the entire Christian world as a company of miserable hypocrites."
"Not at all," the Doctor answered quickly. "I a.s.sure you I have many friends among that cla.s.s of people whom I respect and esteem; but since you have pressed me to continue this conversation I must frankly confess to you that my esteem is not based on the fact that they are called Christians. I--but, Miss Ried, this is entirely unlike, and beneath me, to interfere with and shake your innocent, trusting faith.
I would not do it for the world."
Sadie interrupted him with an impatient shake of her head.
"Don"t talk nonsense, Dr. Dougla.s.s, if you can help it. I don"t feel innocent at all, just now at least, and I have no particular faith to shake; if I had I hope you would not consider it such a flimsy material as to be shaken by any thing which you have said as yet.
I certainly have heard no arguments. Occasionally I think of these matters, and I have been surprised, and not a little puzzled, to note the strange inconsistency existing between the profession and practice of these people. If you have any explanation I should like to hear it; that is all."
Clearly this man must use at least the semblance of sense if he were going to continue the conversation. His answer was grave and guarded.
"I have offered no arguments, nor do I mean to. I was apologizing for having touched upon this matter at all. I am unfortunate in my belief, or rather disbelief; but it is no part of my intention to press it upon others. I incline to the opinion that there are some very good, nice, pleasant people in the world, whom the accidents of birth and education have taught to believe that they are aided in this goodness and pleasantness by a more than human power, and this belief rather helps than otherwise to mature their naturally sweet, pure lives. My explanation of their seeming inconsistencies is, that they have never realized the full moral force of the rules which they profess to follow. I divide the world into two distinct cla.s.ses--the so-called Christian world, I mean. Those whom I have just named const.i.tute one cla.s.s, and the other is composed of unmitigated hypocrites. Now my friend, I have talked longer on this subject than I like, or than I ought. I beg you will forget all I have said, and give me some music to close the scene."
Sadie laughed, and ran her fingers lightly over the keys; but she asked:
"In which cla.s.s do you place your brother in the profession, Doctor?"
Dr. Dougla.s.s drew his shoulder into a very slight though expressive shrug, as he answered.
"It is exceedingly proper, and also rather rare, for a physician to be eminent not only for skill but piety, and my brother pract.i.tioner is a wise and wary man, who--" and here he paused abruptly--"Miss Ried," he added after a moment, in an entirely changed tone: "Which of us is at fault to-night, you or myself, that I seem bent on making uncharitable remarks? I really did not imagine myself so totally depraved. And to be serious, I am very sorry that this style of conversation was ever commenced. I did not intend it. I do not believe in interfering with the beliefs, or controverting the opinions of others."
Apparently Sadie had recovered her good humor, for her laugh was as light and careless as usual when she made answer:
"Don"t distress yourself unnecessarily, Dr. Dougla.s.s; you haven"t done me the least harm. I a.s.sure you I don"t believe a word you say, and I do you the honor of believing that you don"t credit more than two-thirds of it yourself. Now I"m going to play you the stormiest piece of music you ever heard in your life." And the keys rattled and rang under her touch, and drew half a dozen loungers from the halls to the parlor, and effectually ended the conversation.
Three people belonging to that household held each a conversation with their own thoughts that night, which to finite eyes would have aided the right wonderfully had it been said before the a.s.sembled three, instead of in the quiet and privacy of their own rooms.