Chapter 120 - b.l.o.o.d.y Rose Part 4
He is so stupid. She"s the one who should be saying words of grat.i.tude. If she didn"t meet Teras.h.i.+ma Yuhi, she would still be an empty existence. It"s because they met they crossed paths. That she was able to discover the beauty of the world; the beauty Ru pointed out to her before, but she couldn"t see it.
Back then, all she could see were raging storm clouds every day. However, when she met Teras.h.i.+ma Yuhi, she could finally see the light.
Sumire s.h.i.+fted over and draped her arms around his neck.
"What is it?" she doesn"t say anything and merely continues holding on to him tightly. Noticing she won"t respond, Yuhi merely caresses her hair.
Ever since she was younger, she foundi herself to be completely absorbed already in the world of knowledge. That"s right long before she even met Yuhi; she already found herself attracted by books that contained knowledge of the world.
At first, though, it was only a means of escape, escape from all the shouting. Her parents would often fight, that"s right. Her family life wasn"t exactly as peaceful as everyone thought it was. That family already long fell apart, so perhaps what happened was atonement—her atonement for the past.
In that sense, there is no meaningless misfortune. When she first stumbled upon Shakespeare"s works, she learned the meaning in more depth. What a true tragedy is. Her form of escape were those books. To block out the sound, she would find herself listening to music and escaping in the world of stories. But that in itself is too much of a fantasy.
A person cannot escape from a reality that is there. She found out many things. So then how is she an outsider of society supposed to fit in? The answer is simple. "You just have to live the same as everyone else."
Most humans won"t accept something that is outside what they consider common sense. When she realized these, she understood that even if she did that, it wouldn"t change anything.
It won"t make her world less dark than it already is. It won"t bring out the light she sought, which is why she...she didn"t try it and lived life without lying.
That light she sought for so long, appeared to her the second she met him. Not only the light but a world of vibrant colors. A world of vibrant colors, strong and powerful. He introduced her to paintings and colors that express every emotion.
Buildings, people, animals - he showed her how everyone is dyed in their own special color. Not just one color but several. Colors that only belong to that person alone.
"Can I make some selfish requests, Yuhi?"
"Define "selfish.""
She lifts her fingers to his lips, gently tracing them. ""of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one"s own personal profit or pleasure.""
"So you want to please yourself? Got it. Tell me what you want, Sumire."
"I want you to be more pa.s.sionate than before."
Sumire doesn"t clarify her words. Nor does she even describe it. But Yuhi understood. "You"re trying to kill me, aren"t you?"
"Perhaps. But Yuhi. You said you would fall into h.e.l.l with me. Do you have any right to whine at this stage? Or maybe I fell in love with a boring guy after all. "
"Brat."
"It is only with you, Yuhi, when I"m able to feel the most happiness. That"s why when our relations.h.i.+p changes. I will be blessed with the fact that we never have to part from each other and bask in our happiness together. That"s why I want to get this out of the way now. "She has to say it.
"It"s frightening, but if it is this person, it should be okay."
"Up until now, I"ve always been thinking of Ru. No, I"ll correct that, "I"ve always been in love with him. "There were many who came to care for me in between—those who came to love me deeply. But I could never respond to their feelings ." she shook her head. "I could never respond. I would always brush it off simply because I didn"t acknowledge it even though they all cared deeply for me. I felt it then that there was something wrong with me."
"Sumire. . . ."
"To find a way to defeat Ru"s illness, even if it means having my life swallowed up by him. If I"m inside that person, we can become one. I haven"t been completely faithful to you, Yuhi. Even when we started dating, those thoughts remained there. They became clearer." Sumire placed her hand on her forehead. "I am saying strange things, right? But even now, it doesn"t fade from my mind. Endlessly. I thought I would have to walk towards the future alone. But there is you."
There is him, the person she loves so very deeply.
Yuhi bends over, and their lips met briefly. A gentle kiss, and yet it made her cry. "Yeah. I get it, Sumire. We have to share everything properly from now on. Even if it hurts. A part of me already knew. About Mamoru, about the darkness, you were facing. . …"
"I"m still afraid," Sumire admitted. The happier she becomes, the more this fear increases.
"So am I," he gave their intertwined hands a little squeeze. "But we aren"t alone anymore. We have all those guys, and we have each other. Sumire."
Sumire did not say anything and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. Her eyes widened when she realized how fast it was beating. She lifted her head from his chest. "Wait, why are you getting embarra.s.sed?" Sumire questioned.
"Who is embarra.s.sed? Brat, your far too cheeky lately."
She chuckled softly. Even if he denied it, Sumire could see the tip of his ears turn red. Her gaze softened, even though things will be hectic from now. "Yuhi still finds a way to make me smile." Why does this person smile so warmly-- her thoughts broke of when he gently kissed her lips.
It seems like she has found it, a small bit of happiness.