Chapter 230 - Crazy Things
She buried her face in his arms and Yuhi chuckled. "If you hug me too much you will suck my soul away."
"Be quiet, hugging you has a healing effect."
Sumire genuinely felt healed whenever she hugged him.
"This is nice and all but later we should become more affectionate."
"You"re the one who pushed me away earlier."
"My love you do realize we are in school right?"
She rolled her eyes at that comment. Now he is saying that? Who is the one who practically hara.s.ses her with kisses before they go to cla.s.s?
Yuhi sighed. "You know I normally wouldn"t mind. But lately you go overboard."
"I do?" Sumire repeated innocently.
He extended his hand out and flicked her forehead. "You do, quit teasing me so much when you know how dangerous I am."
Dangerous huh? Yuhi always warns her that he is a bad person but she does not think of him that way. If Yuhi is a bad person then what does that make her?
Her thoughts broke off when he wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her onto his lap. "Alright you I give up, do what you want."
Sumire stared at him and grabbed his face with her hands. "Did you get more handsome?"
Yuhi chuckled. "If I became too handsome, my dearest would throw a fit and get all jealous."
"That person sounds unreasonable." She traced the b.u.t.tons on his s.h.i.+rt collar. "yuhi…"
"Mmm, what?"
"I will become busy soon… unlike you I don"t know how to manage my time and our relations.h.i.+p. But I don"t want you to think I am avoiding you."
"I understand wife, that"s why I changed my schedule to coincidentally match yours."
Sumire blinked and laughed when she heard those words. "Are you sure you want to lower your jobs for my sake?" she joked but she was very pleased.
She leaned forward and kept kissing his cheeks, and lips.
"Mmmmmmm, Sumire. Quit attacking me."
She pouted childishly. "Why?"
"Because it makes me want to attack you."
"Then attack." Sumire didn"t understand why he was hesitating so much. "Yuhi I love you…."
"Mmm, me too Sumire."
Lately he doesn"t say it….
He didn"t get another woman did he? Sumire shook her head. "I am so cute and so loveable. Why would he find somebody else?"
Yuhi chuckled. "What"s wrong?"
"You forgot to say it."
He cupped her cheeks. "I want to save it for special occasions."
"But I like hearing it."
"It"s not like I stopped. You just don"t notice."
Is that truly the case? She no longer understood her own heart.
....
Four days later - 8:00am - Nagawa Residence
People do crazy things to escape the pain and suffering, they do crazy things even if it will hurt the one person who cares.
But no matter how much she wishes to escape this pain, there is a line she will not cross. She will never allow herself to stoop so low ever again. Sumire took a deep breath and extended her hand towards the person hovering over her.
She pushed him away and Sano seemed surprised.
"Are you rejecting me now?"
She did not reply to those words and averted her gaze from him.
"Just leave me alone already."
It is frightening to be alone. But if she stays with this person, she will end up doing something stupid. If it were the past then she would have gone through with this easily. But the situation has changed unlike back then. Yuhis face always comes to mind, the pain in his gaze and tone when she told him the story regarding his girlfriend and best friend betraying him.
She cannot do that to him. It hurts and she feels suffocated, she wants it to all go away. She wants it to stop.
However she won"t use this method to cope.
Sano suddenly drew back surprising her. Sumire watched as he moved away from the bed and leaned against the wall by the window. He pulled out his cigarette from his pocket. "Thought of Teras.h.i.+ma?"
"...."
"You know you"re still easy to read."
Sumire pulled the blanket to her lap and hugged her knees. "Be quiet." Why did she even come here in the first place? What possessed her to come to Sanos place of all places. She ought to have gone to somebody else.
But Tokyo is still unfamiliar to her. While she has made friends here, none of them know about her situation. They do not know how broken and messed up she is. It was a risk coming here to Sano"s place - but at the very least she is with somebody who knows.
"Do you feel sick?"
She nodded slowly and mumbled. "Yuhi.."
"At work, that"s why you came to me."
"....if you knew that, why didn"t you just tell me to leave?"
"Well, I thought I would take my chance."
Sumire laughed awkwardly at that statement. "Is that all you want from me after all?"
"Hino knows, you didn"t have to come here."
"I trouble him a lot already. Besides I know he is working hard on something for Yuhi"s sake. So I didn"t want to bother him too much."
"The real reason?"
"Hino, he doesn"t know what to do when I"m like that. He tries to understand but he can"t do anything."
Hino is a good guy, he is so considerate of her but that isn"t enough.
"Say Sano." Sumire mumbled. "Can I ask you something?"
"That depends. Are you going to criticize me again?"
"I wonder."
"You know, it"s not like I actually hate you. I was just hurt. When I calmed down I realized that the two of us just weren"t meant to be." She trailed off. "No, I realized that you never considered our relations.h.i.+p properly."
The truth is the two of them weren"t ready for a relations.h.i.+p.
"Did you ever consider that we could have a future together? That I would be the one that would stand by your side through all the painful and harsh times?"
He might criticize her again. He might try to twist her words again. However this is the only time she can say this.
"I did."
Sumire blinked when she heard his reply.
Before she could reply she felt the creaking sound of the bed. Sano grabbed her wrist. "Do you believe me?"
Well--what? Sumire still couldn"t believe he said that. Didn"t he admit to using her when they broke up? Didn"t he say that it wasn"t serious and that he would have eventually thrown her away? People always praised her memory, it was stronger than most.
"Don"t lie."
"Am I?"
He must be lying and yet for some reason Sumire avoided his gaze. If she looks at his eyes right now and sees something different. If she saw sincerity, then it would be even more difficult for her.
Her thoughts broke off when Sano suddenly placed his hand on her forehead. "Your fever went up again...Can you lay down?"
She somehow nodded and laid down on the bed.
Sano adjusted the pillows slightly before moving away again. "Does your head hurt?"
"A little."
"This is very strange. Why is this person suddenly so attentive?" He must be tricking her again. All of this is a lie, she won"t fall for it again.
"Sano…
"Yes?"
"Why are you so kind to me recently?"
He was still acting like a jerk not too long ago. How come his behaviour-- her thoughts broke off when she felt his sharp gaze on her. Sumire immediately averted her eyes and then she heard a large sigh.
"You complain when I act like a jerk, you complain when I give you gifts and now that I am reflecting on my behaviour and acting nice you still don"t like it."
Eh? Reflecting on his behaviour?
"About me hara.s.sing you when Teras.h.i.+ma was in hospital." Sano suddenly brought up. He looked uncomfortable. "Originally I didn"t intend to approach you at all. I was content with just watching. But you"re very careless."
Sumire blinked. Wasn"t he going to apologize? Why is he suddenly blaming her? She doesn"t understand this man at all. Before she could make a retort however he suddenly took his phone out. Sumire glanced at the screen and saw several photographs of different people all working in her school. She noticed how she was always in the shot.
She trembled slightly when she realized why. These people were watching her, they were waiting until she was alone. Now that she thought about it Sano only approached her when there were loads of people. He never tried to approach her when it was quiet.
"I was trying to make my presence known, so they could leave you."
"Your approach was wrong." Sumire mumbled. Even if he intended to project her, the way he treated her like his possession was too much. Before she could speak again he cupped her chin so she could look at him.
"Do you know why up until now I haven"t done anything to you?"
What does he mean he hasn"t done anything, he has kissed her several times already?
"Because you were trying to figure me out?"
"Correct just like you are testing me, I am also testing you. You"re different than before. You no longer obediently listen to what I say, and your guard is always up. You"re cautious about people to the point that whenever others go near you, you flinch."
Hmmm it seems he has been watching closely. No longer obedient huh? Back then she only followed whatever he said because she didn"t have anything to lose.
She did not care about her pride or even herself. It was all meaningless to her. Later on the years, she slowly became more aware of her surroundings and became frightened.
The world is a terrifying place. People can back stab you without batting an eyelid. The people who stood by your side for the longest times can hurt you without a second thought.