What silent sufferings were reflected In this quick moment of distress!
Who is it could not have detected Poor Tanya in the new princess!
Eugene, the moment that he saw her, Fell maddened with remorse before her.
She gave a start, said not a word And looked at Eugene unperturbed Without surprise or wrath... His fading Appearance, his extinguished look, Imploring aspect, mute rebuke She takes in all. The simple maiden Returns again now, reappears With dreams and heart of former years.
42.
She lets Onegin go on kneeling And, looking at him fixedly, Does not withdraw her hand unfeeling That he is kissing avidly...
What is she dreaming of at present?
A long time pa.s.ses by, quiescent, At last she softly speaks again: "Enough, get up. I must explain Myself to you. I wonder whether, Onegin, you recall, do you, The garden and the avenue, The hour when fate brought us together And how you lectured me, so meek.
Today it is my turn to speak.
43.
"I was much younger at that meeting And better looking, to my mind, I loved you then, was that upsetting?
And in your heart, what did I find?
What was your answer? Only sternness.
You"d never, would you, take in earnest A little maiden"s modest love.
My blood runs cold now a G.o.d above! a The very moment I remember Your chilling glance, that sermon... I"m Not blaming you: at that dark time You showed at least a n.o.ble temper And you were right regarding me, I thank you for your honesty...
44.
"Admit that in our backwoods haven, From empty rumour far away, I was not to your liking... Say, then, Why you"re pursuing me today.
Why have you marked me for attention?
Might it not be because convention Includes me in the social round, Because I"m wealthy and renowned, Because my husband"s wounds in battle Have gained him royal favour, fame?
Might it not be because my shame Would feed the flames of t.i.ttle-tattle And win you, in society, Seductive notoriety?
45.
"I weep... if you recall your Tanya, There"s one thing you should hear from me: Your sharp reproach, unfriendly manner, Your cold, unsparing homily, All this, with which you made me cower, I"d have preferred, had I the power, To this offensive pa.s.sion, to The letters, tears I"ve had from you.
You showed my childish dreams compa.s.sion, And you at least respected me And my young age. But now, I see You at my feet in coward fashion?
How with the heart and mind you have Can you be paltry feeling"s slave?
46.
"This pomp, Onegin, these excesses, The trumpery of hateful days, My high society successes, My fashionable house, soirees, What do they mean? Oh, I"d surrender At once this masquerade, this splendour, With all its glitter, noise and smoke For one wild garden and a book, For our poor home, to me the dearest, For all those places I recall, Where I beheld you first of all, And for the humble churchyard near us, Where now a cross and branches shade The grave where my poor nurse is laid...
47.
"And yet that time was so auspicious And happiness so near... But no, My fate is settled. Injudicious I may have been, but it is so.
With tears my mother begged, entreated And I, poor Tanya, listless, ceded, All lots were equal anyhow...
I married. Pray you, leave me now.
Your heart is honest and I prize it: And there resides in it true pride With candid honour, side by side.
I love you (why should I disguise it?), But I am someone else"s wife, To him I shall be true for life.
48.
She goes. He stands in desolation As if by thunder struck. In what A sudden tempest of sensation His heart"s ungovernably caught!
But then a clink of spurs resounded, Tatiana"s husband he encountered.
And, reader, now, in this mischance, In this unhappy circ.u.mstance, We"ll leave my hero to his meeting For long... for ever... in his track We"ve roamed around the world and back.
On land again, let"s send our greeting To each and all. So, now, hurrah!
It"s high time (you"ll agree), by far.
49.
Whatever, reader, your opinion, A friend or foe, I wish to part With you today like a companion.
Farewell. Whatever you may chart Among these careless lines, reflections a Whether tumultuous recollections Or light relief from labour"s yoke, The lively image, witty joke Or the mistakes I"ve made in grammar a G.o.d grant you find here just a grain To warm the heart, to entertain, To feed a dream, and cause a clamour With journals and their clientele, Upon which, let us part, farewell!
50.
Goodbye, strange comrade, now for ever, And you, my true ideal a now gone, Goodbye, my lively, long endeavour, Though slender work. With you I"ve known The things that every poet covets: Oblivion, when the tempest buffets, Sweet talk of friends. So many days Have pa.s.sed since in a dreamy haze I first saw young Tatiana near me, With her, Onegin a and when I Looked through the magic crystal"s eye, I could not yet distinguish clearly The distant reach of the domain That my free novel would attain.
51.
But of those friends who, meeting, listened To those first strophes that I wrote...
Some are no more now, some are distant, As Sadi40 once said in a note.
They"ve missed the fully fledged Onegin, And she, from whom the model"s taken For dear Tatiana, she is gone...
Oh, much by fate has been undone!
Blest who betimes has left life"s revel, Whose wine-filled gla.s.s he has not drained, Who does not read right to the end Life"s still, as yet, unfinished novel, But lets it go, as I do my Onegin, and bid him goodbye.
FRAGMENTS OF ONEGIN"S JOURNEY1
FOREWORD.
The omitted stanzas gave rise to frequent reproofs and gibes (no doubt most just and witty). The author candidly confesses that he deleted from his novel an entire chapter describing Onegin"s journey through Russia. It was inc.u.mbent on him to indicate this omitted chapter by means of dots or a numeral; but in order to avoid confusion he decided it would be better to mark the last chapter as number eight instead of nine, and to sacrifice one of its closing stanzas: It"s time: for peace the pen is asking; Nine cantos done, and ninth the wave That lifts my boat and sets it basking Upon the joyous seash.o.r.e, safe a Praise be to you, O nine Camenae,2 etc.