LETTER LXXII.
EVELINA IN CONTINUATION. October 2nd.
YESTERDAY, from the time I received your kind, though heart-piercing letter, I kept my room,-for I was equally unable and unwilling to see Lord Orville; but this morning, finding I seemed destined to pa.s.s a few days longer here, I endeavoured to calm my spirits, and to appear as usual; though I determined to avoid him to the utmost of my power. Indeed, as I entered the parlour, when called to breakfast, my thoughts were so much occupied with your letter, that I felt as much confusion at his sight, as if he had himself been informed of its contents.
Mrs. Beaumont made me a slight compliment upon my recovery, for I had pleaded illness to excuse keeping my room: Lady Louisa spoke not a word; but Lord Orville, little imagining himself the cause of my indisposition, enquired concerning my health with the most distinguishing politeness. I hardly made any answer; and, for the first time since I have been here, contrived to sit at some distance from him.
I could not help observing that my reserve surprised him; yet he persisted in his civilities, and seemed to wish to remove it. But I paid him very little attention; and the moment breakfast was over, instead of taking a book, or walking in the garden, I retired to my own room.
Soon after, Mrs. Selwyn came to tell me, that Lord Orville had been proposing I should take an airing, and persuading her to let him drive us both in his phaeton. She delivered the message with an archness that made me blush; and added, that an airing, in my Lord Orville"s carriage, could not fail to revive my spirits. There is no possibility of escaping her discernment; she has frequently rallied me upon his Lordship"s attention,-and, alas!-upon the pleasure with which I have received it! However, I absolutely refused the offer.
"Well," said she, laughing, "I cannot just now indulge you with any solicitation; for, to tell you the truth, I have business to transact at the Wells, and am glad to be excused myself. I would ask you to walk with me; -but since Lord Orville is refused, I have not the presumption to hope for success."
"Indeed," cried I, "you are mistaken; I will attend you with pleasure."
"O rare coquetry!" cried she, "surely it must be inherent in our s.e.x, or it could not have been imbibed at Berry Hill."
I had not spirits to answer her, and therefore put on my hat and cloak in silence.
"I presume," continued she, drily, "his Lordship may walk with us."
"If so, Madam," said I, "you will have a companion, and I will stay at home."
"My dear child," cried she, "did you bring the certificate of your birth with you?"
"Dear Madam, no!"
"Why then, we shall never be known again at Berry Hill."
I felt too conscious to enjoy her pleasantry; but I believe she was determined to torment me, for she asked if she should inform Lord Orville that I desired him not to be of the party?
"By no means, Madam; but, indeed, I had rather not walk myself."
"My dear," cried she, "I really do not know you this morning,-you have certainly been taking a lesson of Lady Louisa."
She then went down stairs; but presently returning, told me she had acquainted Lord Orville that I did not choose to go out in the phaeton, but preferred a walk, tete-e-tete with her, by way of variety.
I said nothing, but was really vexed. She bad me go down stairs, and said she would follow me immediately.
Lord Orville met me in the hall. "I fear," said he, "Miss Anville is not yet quite well?" and he would have taken my hand, but I turned from him, and courtsying slightly, went into the parlour.
Mrs. Beaumont and Lady Louisa were at work: Lord Merton was talking with the latter; for he has now made his peace, and is again received into favour.
I seated myself, as usual, by the window. Lord Orville, in a few minutes, came to me, and said, "Why is Miss Anville so grave?"
"Not grave, my Lord," said I, "only stupid;" and I took up a book.
"You will go," said he, after a short pause, "to the a.s.sembly to-night?"
"No, my Lord, certainly not."
"Neither then will I; for I should be sorry to sully the remembrance I have of the happiness I enjoyed at the last."
Mrs. Selwyn then coming in, general enquiries were made to all but me, of who would go to the a.s.sembly? Lord Orville instantly declared he had letters to write at home; but every one else settled to go.
I then hastened Mrs. Selwyn away, though not before she had said to Lord Orville, "Pray, has your Lordship obtained Miss Anville"s leave to favour us with your company?"
"I have not, Madam," answered he, "had the vanity to ask it."
During our walk, Mrs. Selvyn tormented me unmercifully. She told me, that since I declined any addition to our party, I must, doubtless, be conscious of my own powers of entertainment; and begged me, therefore, to exert them freely. I repented a thousand times having consented to walk alone with her; for though I made the most painful efforts to appear in spirits, her raillery quite overpowered me.
We went first to the pump-room. It was full of company; and the moment we entered, I heard a murmuring of, "That"s she!" and, to my great confusion, I saw every eye turned towards me. I pulled my hat over my face, and, by the a.s.sistance of Mrs. Selwyn, endeavoured to screen myself from observation, nevertheless, I found I was so much the object of general attention, that I entreated her to hasten away. But unfortunately she had entered into conversation, very earnestly, with a gentleman of her acquaintance, and would not listen to me; but said, that if I was tired of waiting, I might walk on to the milliner"s with the Miss Watkins, two young ladies I had seen at Mrs.
Beaumont"s, who were going thither.
I accepted the offer very readily, and away we went. But we had not gone three yards, before we were followed by a party of young men, who took every possible opportunity of looking at us, and, as they walked behind, talked aloud, in a manner at once unintelligible and absurd. "Yes," cried one," "tis certainly she!-mark but her blushing cheek!"
"And then her eye -her downcast eye!"-cried another.
"True, oh most true," said a third, "every beauty is her own!"
"But then," said the first, "her mind,-now the difficulty is, to find out the truth of that, for she will not say a word."
"She is timid," answered another; "mark but her timid air."
During this conversation, we walked on silent and quick; as we knew not to whom it was particularly addressed, we were all equally ashamed, and equally desirous to avoid such unaccountable observations.
Soon after we were caught in a shower of rain. We hurried on; and these gentlemen, following us, offered their services in the most pressing manner, begging us to make use of their arms; and, while I almost ran, in order to avoid their impertinence, I was suddenly met by Sir Clement Willoughby!
We both started; "Good G.o.d!" he exclaimed, "Miss Anville!" and then, regarding my tormentors with an air of displeasure, he earnestly enquired, if any thing had alarmed me?
"No, no;" cried I, for I found no difficulty now to disengage myself from these youths, who, probably, concluding from the commanding air of Sir Clement, that he had a right to protect me, quietly gave way to him, and entirely quitted us.
With his usual impetuosity, he then began a thousand enquiries, accompanied with as many compliments; and he told me, that he arrived at Bristol but this morning, which he had entirely devoted to endeavours to discover where I lodged.
"Did you know, then," said I, "that I was at Bristol?"
"Would to Heaven," cried he, "that I could remain in ignorance of your proceedings with the same contentment you do of mine! then should I not for ever journey upon the wings of Hope, to meet my own despair! You cannot even judge of the cruelty of my fate; for the ease and serenity of your mind incapacitates you from feeling for the agitation of mine!"
The ease and serenity of my mind! alas, how little do I merit those words!
"But," added he, "had accident brought me hither, had I not known of your journey, the voice of fame would have proclaimed it to me instantly upon my arrival."
"The voice of fame!" repeated I.
"Yes, for yours was the first name I heard at the pump-room. But had I not heard your name, such a description could have painted no one else."
"Indeed," said I, "I do not understand you." But just then arriving at the milliner"s our conversation ended; for Miss Watkins called me to look at caps and ribbons.